My Secret Sin
by An End Has A Start
Summary: You know it’s wrong when it’s kept a secret. That’s how Bella felt anyway about the new relationship with her step-brother. All Human. Bella's POV of My Guilty Pleasure.
1. Chapter 1: Welcome To The Family

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter One: Welcome To The Family**

For the love of God let this be the last wedding my mother has. The four before this were all beautiful but this one would be hard to top. The groom would also be hard to beat. I don't think she could find a better husband than Dr Cullen and for once I wanted her to actually love this one. The previous four were all good guys, minus the fact three of them were old enough to be my grandfather, but she never loved any of them. She loved their money.

Harold, the first husband, who was fifty nine when my mother married him, had a love for young women and fast cars. He didn't mind that Renee had a three year old daughter when they married and for the two years they were together he was a good step father. However, it was clear my mother only looked his way because he lucked into inheriting an oil company which brought home millions for his 'family'.

Next was Bernard. He had just turned sixty-five and wanted a hot young bride to piss off his ex-wife who cheated on him with the pool boy, how cliché. Renee was the hot young wife for three years but then the 'marriage' fell apart. Bernard found a twenty year old who could deep throat and didn't have children so upgraded. Renee however didn't leave empty handed. She never did.

Husband number one, Harold, settled by giving her six million dollars to do with what she pleased. Unfortunately she invested three of that six and was unlucky in the stock market, making a significant loss. The other three went into our new house and to feed her lifestyle. Bernard handed over one and half million dollars which supplied me with more than enough money to go to university if I pleased when I was older.

After those two came Parker and Peter. Parker was seventy and had a forty five year old son Peter. Parker was husband number three but they divorced when I was eleven. Then my mother moved onto Peter. They stayed together the longest with a total of five years.

When they split Renee had gotten over eight million dollars from the father and son. She now had more than enough money for everything she wanted to do with her life. Every new project she embarked on was bought by one of her ex-husbands and everything we did was paid by from one of them.

I felt sorry for the four men my mother had conned into marriage but now that she was satisfied with her bank account I thought it was time she settled down properly. That's why Dr Cullen seemed like the right man to be marrying.

Carlisle was known throughout Forks as he was a doctor at the local hospital, but he also played a big role in our small town. He always held charity events and constantly gave away to those in need. No one hated Carlisle in the town so my mother would have to be an idiot if she planned on ripping him off.

Everyone would hate her, more so than now. She did have a reputation and an unpleasant one at that. Renee Swan was the gold digger of Forks. If you were a single rich male then she would flirt and get you to put a ring on her finger. No prenuptials would be signed so when the divorce came through she'd get a stake of their money.

So I was praying to God she didn't have that planned for Carlisle. After all he was such a sweet guy and out of all the step-fathers I've had he seemed like he'd be the best. When they first started dating he took time and effort to get to know me, which was a change, and I wanted this to be successful.

After all I didn't want my mother to be alone or keep up her gold digging ways. That would just be completely pathetic. Plus, the more the town hated her the more they thought I'd do the same. I was no gold-digger though and planned on earning my money. I would be independent and pay my own way thank you very much.

The wedding march began and I walked down the aisle along with the other bridesmaids. The first time I had to do this I was nervous I was going to fall but after so much practice it was a breeze. I played the part of caring daughter brilliantly, if I do say so myself, and paid attention to all the crucial bits so if anyone was watching they wouldn't know I was daydreaming about the food at the reception.

Unfortunately I was ripped from my thoughts of the melt in your mouth chocolate pudding that was to be served for dessert when I saw the best man. My eyes had to be playing tricks on me so I gave myself a pinch. It hurt like a bitch which meant I wasn't dreaming. I wish I was.

Edward Cullen was actually standing opposite me, as the best man and as soon as our parents say 'I do' we'd be step-siblings. Oh God how come I hadn't realised this before? Hell I'd also be living with him! No, I had to stop this. Screw my mother and her thoughts on love, this was not allowed to happen. I would not move in with that devil.

I opened my mouth to speak when suddenly there were cheers and Renee and Carlisle kissed. How did I miss the vows? That didn't matter, they couldn't sign the register. Once they did my fate would be sealed. I still had time.

"Mum?" Renee let go of Carlisle's arm and pulled me into a hug.

"Oh Bella isn't this great?!"

"Yeah, superb. Look you can't marry Carlisle," I blurted out, hoping the forward tactic was best.

"But I just have." She frowned at me. "Do you not like him? Bells you should have said before today."

"No I like Carlisle fine. I don't like Edward however and I think it would be best if you just didn't sign the marriage certificate."

"Honey, Edward's lovely so don't fret." I never thought Edward and lovely would be used in the same sentence. He was a complete menace, just a mighty good looking one.

"Mum please, don't do this." For once I was putting my happiness and sanity before hers.

"Bella stop being silly." She walked away from me and back into Carlisle's arms.

There went my last chance. I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed angrily. When I opened them Edward was smirking at me. Renee and Carlisle signed the marriage register and then began their walk down the aisle as man and wife. Being the maid of bloody honour I had to take Edward's arm. In the wedding practices he never showed up and I had to do it myself. I'd prefer that right now instead.

Thankfully Edward kept his smart mouth shut and just walked in silence. I could smell him standing so close to me and I was practically intoxicated on it. He smelt so damn good. Along with his smell I could feel the heat radiating off of him and in this friggin freezing church I basked in it. With Edward's looks, scent, and heat he was almost the perfect package. Almost.

As soon as I had a chance I let go of his arm and walked away quickly. I didn't want to be anywhere near him. Edward was a known troublemaker and pompous asshole. He had a bad reputation, one I didn't want to be affiliated with but was going to have to get use to. After all I was now officially his step-sister and that came with consequences no doubt. Soon I'd learn what they were.

The reception was in full swing when I walked in. Surveying the room quickly I saw my mother and Carlisle chatting with an elderly couple by the wedding table, the bridesmaids were dancing away with their wedding partners, and my step-brother was sitting at a table surrounded by his friends.

I grabbed a flute of champagne and sat down at an empty table. This whole marriage was going to be one big farce. My guess was that it'll last a year or two and then my mother will split and run with the cash, much to my dismay.

Everything was just so fucking pathetic. At the other weddings I had never been so miserable but I just couldn't help myself. Renee had no clue what kind of fall she was setting me up for. I was known as Bella Swan, the dead cop and gold digger's daughter. It was nearly as bad as Edward's reputation, but not quite.

Edward was the womaniser, the troublemaker, the good graded git, the star athlete, the sexist pig, the pretentious toff, and the devil himself. Forks was his playground and he used it well. It use to be a quiet little town, mainly relying on the timber industry to support itself but then there was a sudden boom of interest to the place and expansions kicked in.

Overnight there were big plans for our little town and more money was being pumped into the place. The small hospital was now at the forefront of medical history with one of the best research departments in the country. Due to this it was recently rebuilt and is state of the art. Along with the hospital, the police, fire station and schools also upgraded themselves.

New houses were being built and the once small quiet town had grown into an expanding town with talks of building a university and more facilities for the town's folks. The elders who were practically falling into their graves didn't like this and kicked up a ruckus until some hot shot property developer built them a new care home. So easily bought.

With all the change and more job opportunities available parents could afford to send their children to private schools so one was built almost instantly. For some reason my mother decided it would be better to keep me at state than move me. I personally wasn't bothered; it was easier to stay where I was.

The new hospital was what brought Dr Cullen to us. He heard of its potential and uplifted his life in LA for here. He moved to Forks five years ago with his wife and son, who at the time was as sweet as an angel. However, his marriage broke down and his wife moved away only four months after arriving.

The gossip was that she couldn't stand the place and wanted out. I heard she was a lovely sweet woman but also very pristine and proper, which caused great intimidation. Not long after she buggered off Edward started getting into trouble. He missed his mama and was rebelling, or at least that's how I looked at it.

I had never actually met Edward before, and had no reason to. He went to the fancy private school and looked down at us poor mortals in state. We didn't like them, simple as. They had money coming out their asses and liked to flash it around with their ostentatious cars that screamed 'I'm rich and my daddy loves me!'.

But just because I hadn't met him didn't mean I hadn't heard about him and his friends. Before Edward pitched up Emmett McCarty, Royce Chatte, Jasper Whitlock and a few random others were the real assholes, even at their grand ages of twelve and thirteen. They were terrors that got worse over time. Edward fell right in with them and his once sweet demeanour changed dramatically.

In the first month of their friendship two cars were keyed with 'fucker' and 'slut' added to the sides, the town welcome sign had been altered to read Fucks rather than Forks, the tires were slashed on three teachers' cars, a shop window was smashed by a brick and after all these crimes four boys were seen cycling away laughing hysterically.

Everyone knew it was them but their high and mighty parents persuaded the pussy chief of police that it was all harmless fun. Yeah, harmless my ass. Mr Gunter had to shut down his store for a week before the window could be fixed, which led to a loss of income and he had to sell his house to pay his bills. The old man now lives on the outskirts of the town in a caravan for Christ sake.

There was nothing harmless about them. The only protection they had was their money and eventually that wouldn't be able to sway a jury. As they got older their 'fun' became riskier and the stakes were raised. They started destroying lives rather than windows.

Girls became an object of amusement and before Jasper got a girlfriend it was said that they shared their conquests. Sick fuckers. Sex, drugs and alcohol was their frequent past times but never once did they get in trouble for stumbling about off their face in front of a cop or even get a warning when they all started smoking weed outside the police station on a Friday night.

They were untouchable. Thankfully last year the fearful four became the terrible three when Royce went off to university to unleash his terror there. He planned on becoming a lawyer one day which is just bloody ridiculous; he'll be as guilty as his client who's caught red handed.

So now the rainy town of Forks had only three to contend with and that wouldn't be so bad. There are really only two troublemakers, Emmett and Edward. Jasper stopped when he started dating Alice Brandon who, according to local gossip, was an unusual girl. Whatever, I didn't care as long as she kept Jasper on a firm leash. I'd probably have my hands full with the other two when I move in with the Cullens.

I'm so looking forward to that.

With my head in the clouds I didn't even notice Edward standing in front of me until he put his hand on my shoulder. I jumped and glared at the git for smirking at my fear.

"What do you want?" I asked, cutting straight to the chase.

"We need to dance," he said, now looking bored.

"No way in hell."

"Look I'm not asking for my own pleasure, the wedding party is dancing and we're to join. So get your fat ass off the chair and let's go." I stood up immediately, stomped on his foot and walked off to the dance floor.

Edward grunted in pain but amusement was dancing in his eyes. He came over and placed his hand in mine and the other very low on my hip. I pulled it up so it was at a modest level for step-sibling touching but he moved it back.

"Stop it," I growled, glaring at him fiercely.

"Stop what sis?" I hated that nickname instantly.

"Don't call me that and if you don't put your hands back to where I placed them I'll knee you in your precious family jewels." He smirked and moved his hand back. Maybe he wasn't as dumb as I thought.

We remained silent and I was waiting for it to be okay for us to stop dancing. Our parents broke apart which was my cue. I started walking away but he put his hand on my waist and redirected me to his table.

"What the hell are you doing? Get your hands off of me," I protested, slapping at his fingers on my waist.

"You're meeting my friends."

"I don't want to." He didn't listen and kept pushing me.

"And I don't care. Don't be so fucking rude." We stopped at his table and the three guys and one girl turned to me.

Two of them undressed me with their eyes while licking their lips. I felt self conscious so crossed my arms, hoping to cut off the cleavage view. The big guy, Emmett, that checked me out flashed a smile, showing dimples and all. That was clearly his way of getting the girls. The other I hadn't met before and was waiting for introductions.

"God Edward don't be so rude. Hi Bella, I'm Alice and this is Jasper," the only girl at the table began. "The big one's Emmett and that's James. It's nice to finally meet you." She smiled at me and it actually seemed sincere.

"Guys this is Bella," Edward said, taking a seat as I just stood there, wanting to leave.

"Why don't you join us?" Alice said, gesturing to the available chair.

"No thanks. I'm meant to go see Renee." It was a complete lie but I wanted out of there and away from them.

"God I hate that bitch," Edward began as I walked away. At first I didn't know who he was talking about, either me or my mother. "She's bewitched my father with her charms and he'll live to regret this…" my mother, definitely "…the marriage is a total sham anyway and if I'm going to get anything out of it, it'll be my step-sisters lips round my cock. I deserve that at least." James and Emmett snickered as I walked away, knowing I had heard everything.

I didn't turn round but did in fact go to see my mother. Quickly congratulating her now meant I wouldn't have to do it later. Also the food was about to be served and I was craving that. My once deserted table filled up and I hadn't got a clue who I was with.

Carlisle and Renee decided they'd let Edward and myself sit with our friends rather than with them so didn't put us on the wedding table. It was just too bad I didn't have any friends so my five free seats were given to other guests.

They all knew who I was and seemed reserved enough not to ask my opinion on the wedding after I shot a death glare at the first guy who asked. That made things better for me. I enjoyed my food and was just content for a while.

Much to my dismay, as the maid of honour, I had to give a speech and my mother wouldn't let me use the one from her last wedding. She said something about it being a bad omen. If you asked me she was the bad omen in a marriage and it had nothing to do with my speech. But I complied and wrote a new one. It was three paragraphs of bullshit about being happy to see my mother so in love and wishing them all the best.

Edward's speech was all about how much he was looking forward to gaining a sister and that he always wanted siblings. He knew we'd all be happy together and that his father's marriage was a blessing on all of us. Total shit if you ask me. All lies aswell.

Fortunately things died down after that and the evening was coming to a close. I had remained by myself for the rest of the time as other guests got up to dance. I spent it watching all the random interactions going on and watching my mother. She truly looked happy so maybe this could be the last wedding I had to attend where she's the bride. That would be a godsend.

Once Renee and Carlisle left the reception I was free to leave. I had to wait out in the hallway for a few minutes before a taxi could come and pick me up. I wasn't going to drive home since I had had some champagne and there was no point taking the risk. Unlike my step-brother, I didn't have money to hide behind.

"Need a lift?" I looked up from my stop on the floor and shook my head.

"No thanks." Edward nodded but stood around awkwardly.

"You going home?"

"Yep."

"Me too."

"You want a medal?" I was distracting myself from him by playing with the zipper on my purse.

"Sure." I rolled my eyes and waited for him to leave. I didn't get what he wanted, especially if he was driving home. His car would be right outside so why not just get in it and do me a favour.

The taxi pulled up and I scrambled off of the ground, trying to be ladylike as I did so but failing miserably. Edward blocked my path when I moved for the door. He was really started to piss me off. And then he did something that blew my mind.

Edward quickly put a hand on my cheek and kissed me, forcing his tongue into my mouth. My traitor body reacted instantly and I pulled him closer. My God he was an amazing kisser. The rumours about how gifted his tongue was seemed to have some truth to them. If he could make me feel this amazing by kissing my lips then with his mouth elsewhere I'd be sky high.

"Welcome to the family sis," he said, pulling back. Edward grabbed my ass firmly and ground his erection into me before walking back into the reception hall. I was left completely dumfounded.

Fuck. I had just made out with my step-brother.

With that thought I fell into the taxi, my mind reeling. Things were so fucked up now.


	2. Chapter 2: Let's Play

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Two: Let's Play**

Three days after the wedding Renee and I were moving into the Cullen's house. They lived just outside of Forks, practically in the middle of the forest. I wasn't very happy about moving. Not only would I be living with that monster Edward but I'd also have to give up my old room in the house Renee had built.

The house we lived in was too fancy for my liking but I had decorated my room exactly the way I wanted it, and now we were moving. It was like God was purposely trying to make my life hell. Well he was doing good job of it as I was pissed to be leaving my home and moving into a strangers, angry at my mother for doing this again, and one hundred percent confused about that kiss.

It had been on my mind since it happened and I was completely stumped by it. I mean how was I meant to react, my step brother kissed me! Things like that aren't meant to happen. If Renee and Carlisle had a baby, please Lord don't let them, then that child would be so lost as to why his sister and brother were making out. It would be like incest for it to witness, even though it's not.

I don't know why I just made the assumption that Edward and I would ever kiss again. That definitely won't be happening. It was a onetime thing as far as I'm concerned. I know Edward's reputation and will not be another girl to fall into his bed.

How uncomfortable would that be? I'd have to see him everyday as long as I lived there and over the past two days my mother has been talking seriously about her emotions for Carlisle. I think she loves him and although that's a great thing it makes my situation worse.

I'll never be able to forget that kiss even though I want to. Granted it was a bloody amazing kiss, that boy had talent right there, but it was wrong. Our parents had only been married for about six hours. It was a completely irrational and disgusting thing for Edward to do. It was like he was trying to sabotage our parent's marriage.

As much as I didn't really like the fact my mother married again I wouldn't purposely act to end it. That's just not right or fair to them. Although I was a little angry about my life being turned upside down with this I would never consider trying to ruin it. Though it seemed like Edward was considering it.

When Renee and I arrived at the Cullen house Carlisle greeted us and told me where my room was. I was going to be on the third floor, door at the end of the hall and there was a bathroom across from me.

I grabbed a few of my essential boxes and headed on up to see it. On the second floor I could hear a cheer of voices so quickly made my way to my room. It had to have been Edward and his friends and I definitely didn't want to see any of them. Edward had probably told them about that kiss and was confident I'd fall in his bed. Well there was no way in hell that was going to happen as far as I'm concerned.

There were only three doors on the third floor. One was the bathroom but I didn't know what the other was. I figured it wasn't my place to snoop so just walked straight past it and headed on into what was going to be my bedroom for the time Renee and Carlisle were married.

The room was huge compared to my last bedroom. The back wall to the house was all glass which gave me a spectacular view of the surrounding forest. On the furniture front, there wasn't much. Renee told me that the basics were here but if I wanted anything else I was to ask or just buy it myself.

I entered the room fully and placed the boxes down on the desk before going back down to the car and getting more. Carlisle pitched in and helped for a bit but my mother dragged him away again to do God only knows what. So I continued the routine trips back and forth until I had all of them in.

The bed was centred in the middle of the wall with bedside tables on either side. There was a walk in wardrobe that would be handy even though I only had a small amount of clothes. The desk was in the corner and had all the correct cables to hook me up with my own phone line and internet cable, though there was the option for wireless apparently.

I started out with the basics first, clothes, and put all of them away in no time at all. Several of my boxes were all of my books but the room lacked a bookcase for them so I'd have to get that sorted. In the mean time I slid the boxes into the walk in closet and would get back to them.

Next were my personal items, like photos, films, cd's, school books, important papers I had to keep, toiletries and all that jazz. They were trickier to place but due to the size of the room there was plenty space for them all to go. Since I was to use the bathroom across the hall I decided it better to keep my shampoos etc. in my room.

Nearly everything was away and it had only taken me four hours. Exhausted I collapsed on my bed for a nap, needing to sleep. Not long later I was woken though to knocking on my door. Groggily I crawled off my bed and opened it to see what they wanted.

Edward stood in the door frame looking bored. I raised my eyebrows at him to see what he wanted. He licked his lips and took a step back.

"Lunch is ready. Come get it." With that he walked off and stormed down the stairs.

Before I headed down stairs I went to the bathroom quickly and noticed my hair was a complete mess. It was like sex hair for Christ sake, and Edward had seen me like this. Why I cared I don't know but I did. Smoothing it out I descended the stairs and walked into the kitchen where there were five guys all laughing about something, Edward being one of them.

Carlisle and Renee walked in after me, with some serious sex hair, carrying takeout food. I was too horrified to grab some, what with my mother looking like she'd been dragged through a bush and Carlisle no better. It made me sick to my stomach.

Yeah they were married and would be doing that but they didn't have to make it so obvious. Apparently Edward thought so too by the look on his face. The others in the room didn't notice, they just dug into the food like nothing was wrong.

Thanks to Renee and Carlisle's appearance I didn't feel like eating so only took a small amount. Those two grabbed some and then left again, giggling their way back up the stairs. If they kept this up I'd die of starvation.

"Someone in this house is getting lucky," Emmett said, watching our parents retreat.

"Shut it Em. It's fucking gross and I don't want to be reminded of it. Let's just hope they're being safe or menopause has kicked in. There will be no more Cullens running about this place," Edward said, throwing his food back on the table after having one bite.

I realised there was no reason for me to be there so grabbed a bottle of water and went into the dining room. Carlisle and Renee may be allowed to eat in other rooms but they do own the house. They might not want me taking food to my room so until I knew I'd just eat at the table.

I would have preferred to eat at the small table in the kitchen but I didn't want Edward and his friends to think I enjoyed their company because I definitely did not. The dining room table though was too big for my liking. There were probably sixteen seats round this thing, far too much for what was a family of two.

The guys continued their discussion about Renee and Carlisle but this time I stopped listening. No doubt I'd hear something I didn't want to and get pissed at them more. If I was going to live here it would be best if there were no arguments or disruptions, especially with Edward and his friends. I got the distinct impression that they'd be around a lot, much to my dismay.

After I finished I took my plate back into the kitchen and bit my lip looking for the dishwasher. Renee said there was one so now I just needed to find it so I could go back upstairs. The sink was there but I couldn't see any washing up liquid for me to wash it properly.

"What do you need?" Edward asked, all the guys now silent and staring.

"Dishwasher?" I squeaked. Emmett sniggered at my discomfort but took the plate out of my hands and opened a cupboard that was the dishwasher. "Thanks." I turned to leave and made two steps before being called back.

"Bella?"

"Yeah." Edward cocked his head to the side for a minute before speaking.

"We're going to play some rugby in the backyard and I was wondering if you wanted to join us? You know, to even out the teams and all."

Was he actually inviting me to join him? Apparently he was and all I could do was stare at him.

"Eh, well I'm not very good at rugby." I had in fact never played it in my life.

"S'okay squirt, I'll protect you," Emmett said, patting me on the back.

"Great, let's play," Edward said, thinking that problem was solved.

Emmett dragged me out to back garden as Edward grabbed a ball. All I knew about rugby was that we passed the ball to each other, could kick it up, weren't allowed to pass forward and it was very physical. This really wasn't my sport but they didn't seem to care.

"Alright, Edward, Bella and myself against you three," Emmett called out. Jasper just rolled his eyes as the other two started warming up.

"Emmett I don't know what I'm doing," I admitted, thinking this could be my way out of playing.

"Don't worry, Edward and I will just pass you the ball and you run forward, put the ball down once you get past the end of the bench. Okay?" I nodded anxiously but really wasn't convinced. "Great."

He walked off and spoke to Edward before talking to the other guys. Edward came over and tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention.

"Yeah?"

"You won't get hurt so don't worry, the guys will be easy. If they tackle you it will just be a simple wrap round your arms to make you stop moving and drop the ball." I nodded but wasn't sure by the looks of James and the other guy.

"Who's he?" I asked, looking at the unknown one.

"Felix. Why?"

"I just didn't know who he was." Edward nodded and passed me the ball unexpectedly.

I caught it but barely. If I had to catch it while running I definitely would not be able to. Edward and Emmett were going to have to handle the fact they were going to lose.

"Right, let's get started," Emmett called, wanting me to throw the ball to him. I did but it was pretty crap and James and Felix sniggered away at my nonexistent rugby skills.

To make things easier we flipped a coin and our team would start with the ball. Edward and Emmett tried to run forward, looking for space to pass backwards to each other as I just stood there. Jasper called my name and snapped me out of it. I did my best to avoid the opposing three and stood about as Edward and Em started roughing their way across the grass.

Edward had the ball and James tackled him, the ball rolling backwards. Emmett picked it up and ploughed through Felix and Jasper, running straight through and touching the ball down. He cheered and I take it we scored, though I didn't play much a part in it.

"You okay?" I asked Edward who was now muddy. He looked at me in surprise and nodded.

"Yeah thanks. How was that for you?"

"I didn't do anything."

"That's okay. They'll have the ball now so we need you to try and block them, be careful though." Did he actually care? Probably didn't want to get in trouble if I was injured.

Emmett took a kick, getting it through the trees at the back of the yard and Felix ran back with it. Then we started again. This time I just loitered around with Jasper. He gave me a reassuring smile that I wouldn't get hurt by him so I felt a little safer.

The ball got turned over and we now had it. I was completely shocked when Edward passed me the ball, having James and Jasper rounding on him and Felix near Emmett. I began to run for the bench, keeping my goal in sight.

Then I was hit by something solid and knocked to the ground, the solid object coming down on top of me. I was grasping for breath when the object's hands started groping my breasts. That seriously pissed me off.

Suddenly the object was dragged off of me, there was lots of swearing and I saw Jasper in my line of sight. He put a hand to my head and started to help me up, giving me concerned looks when I winced.

"How'd you feel? Tell me what hurts," he said, scanning me to check for any obvious injuries.

"I…I'm fine. Who hit me?" I asked, venom dripping in my tone.

"Felix." I looked past Jasper and saw Edward lashing into him, hands round his shirt collar and shoving him backwards as he swore like a sailor.

I marched over to them and put my hand on Edward's arm. He turned to me, his gaze softening and stepped back.

"You alright?"

"Almost, I just have to do one thing." I turned back to Felix and pulled my fist back before punching him in the nose.

He stumbled backwards and cried out as he held his nose. Felix glared at me then raised his own fist.

"Stupid bitch." That was when Emmett tackled him to the floor and started hitting him.

"Wow, that was fucking hot," Edward muttered, grabbing my hand and checking my knuckles. "Where'd you learn to hit like that?"

"It's just something I picked up." He ran his fingers over my hand.

"Well it looks like you got him back for tackling you." Edward observed, watching Jasper and James try to pull Emmett off of Felix. I didn't get why Emmett was so mad. As if Edward read my mind he explained. "Emmett's mother was beaten by his father growing up. He hates men that hit women." I nodded and felt sorry that the big bear had to go through that.

"That punch wasn't to get him back for tackling me," I said, trying to change the subject. I'm not sure Emmett would be happy knowing Edward was spreading his business, even if I was his step sister.

"What was it for then?"

"He groped me. Sick bastard," I muttered, shaking my head.

"He what?!" Edward glared over at Felix as he finally stood up and brushed himself off.

"Look, forget about it. It's done, I dealt with it." He frowned at me, not happy. "Seriously Edward, I handled it and I don't think he'll try it again. Let's leave it."

"Fine but I'm not happy." I laughed and shook my head. Like I'd care if Edward was happy.

"Game's over I take it?" Emmett asked, coming over and playing with the ball in his hands.

"I think so. Do me a favour and ask Felix to leave?" Edward asked, Emmett went off and took care of that as I headed back to the house.

"Thanks for including me," I added, just as I was about to go inside.

"You're welcome." He gave me a small smile then turned back to his friends.

I welcomed the warmth when I came in and quickly went to my room to settle down on my comfy bed. My ribs were still a little sore from the tackle but I wouldn't let Edward know, that would give him more ammunition against his friend, not like he didn't deserve it though.

Edward now didn't seem so bad. I mean he did still have an arrogant air about him but I saw a caring side to him, along with his friends as well. They were all meant to be complete jackasses who only cared about sex. That wasn't the impression I got from Edward, Jasper or Emmett. Felix and James however fit the reputation perfectly.

My step-brother's attitude today gave me hope that the kiss at the wedding was just an accident. Maybe he had too much to drink or something like that. Whatever, I liked this Edward better than the cocky son of a bitch I had met when our parents married.

If he could stay like that I would not have a problem living with him at all.


	3. Chapter 3: On All Fours

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Three: On All Fours**

This morning was my first day at my new school. Carlisle insisted that I move to the public school in Forks rather than stay where I was. Renee jumped onto this idea because it was Carlisle's and they didn't ask for my decision.

So after my shower I pulled out the uniform I was to wear. There was a tartan pleated skirt, a crisp white shirt, a navy jumper with the crest on the breast, navy knee length socks, navy heels, and a navy blazer that also had the crest on it.

Once I was dressed I fixed my hair somewhat, put a touch of make up on and then went down for some breakfast. Edward was in the kitchen, having some cereal and gave me a curt nod before returning to his food.

I hunted out a glass from the cupboards and had some orange juice while my toast was toasting. When I was waiting for it I scanned Edward with my eyes. He looked sinful in the school uniform which shouldn't be possible.

The guys uniform was very similar expect they had to wear a tie and obviously no skirt. Edward pulled it all off effortlessly and even though I expected him to wear it in a scruffy manner it was neater than mine. His shirt was tucked in and everything was in perfect place.

He actually looked like the ideal student. His reputation said otherwise though. Today I'd actually get to see Edward in his natural environment, so to speak. Granted I saw how he was last night with the guys but I'd never seen his demeanour when girls were around, unless you count the wedding, which I don't.

Even though I knew what he was like it didn't stop me from wanting to grab his shirt collar and kiss the hell out of him. I had in fact been fantasizing about it for a while. Except no one needed to know that. Edward was still my step-brother and I needed to get it into my mind that fantasising about him was wrong.

"Bella?" Edward said, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Your toast is smoking." I frowned at him and turned towards the toaster to see black smoke coming from it.

"Shit!" I pulled the plug out and began blowing into it, not sure what to do. I'd never had any experience with fire and safety procedures expect stop, drop and roll but that really didn't seem like the wisest thing to do right now seeing as I wasn't on fire.

Edward grabbed the toaster, it still smoking- the toast much have been on fire by now, and took it into the back yard. He grabbed the hose and thoroughly sprayed it until the smoke died down. He shot me a glare as he turned the hose off and stomped towards the house.

"You owe us a toaster," he growled. Well maybe that was special to him or something, that could be why he was angry. Whatever it was, I didn't care right now. There was no time for me to eat so I had to leave.

I grabbed my bag and left the house, walking down the muddy drive that led to the road. From there I'd walk into town and to the school, making it in time to alert them of my presence and go to first class.

About five minutes after I left an engine roared to life and sped past me before screeching to a halt. The car reversed and pulled up alongside of me. I heard the window come down and music being shut off.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Edward's voice asked, completely baffled.

"Walking to school," I said, shooting him a curious look as he followed me along the drive.

"Why?"

"Well how else am I meant to get there?"

"Drive," he said as though I was stupid.

"I don't have a car." That's when I decided to have a look at his. Very ostentatious. Seeing as I watch many movies I knew this an Aston Martin Vanquish, like in James Bond.

"Really?" Edward sounded surprised, as though all of our daddies handed out these babies.

"No."

"That'll change." I opened my mouth to argue about that but didn't get the chance. The door flew open and halted me in my tracks. "Get in." It was an order and even though I felt like defying it the weather was abysmal and I didn't want to pitch up at school on my first day looking like a drowned cat.

"Thanks." I jumped in and shut the door, barely, before Edward revved down the drive and out into the main street. We drove through Forks in silence and to the public school that was located at the very edge of Forks and like the Cullen house was surrounded by trees, cutting it off from the rest of us.

We arrived in no time at all. I was actually thankful Edward had driven me, other than the weather; I now could properly have a look at this place. I'd only seen it through their fancy gates and now I was on the inside of them.

There weren't many cars about but the ones that were probably cost more than the amount it took to build the state school in Forks. Where had all these rich folk come from? I shook my head and stepped out of Edward's car, losing the protection I felt from it.

"Look I've got to be somewhere but I'll meet you here at the end of the day. I'll take you home; I don't want you walking it. Have fun." He walked away without even directing me to the school office.

So there I stood in front of what can only be described as a castle or stately home. It had a very British look to it and what with the trees all around made the atmosphere rather eerie. I headed towards the main door and walked inside, hoping the office would be right there.

Some students were shooting me curious glances but I kept on looking round. Thankfully the office was just round the corner from the big main wooden doors. I approached cautiously and gently cleared my throat.

"Can I help you?" The receptionist asked politely.

"I'm new here, Isabella Swan." She looked around her desk for a second then handed me I pack of information.

"This is all yours. It has everything you need, stick to the basics for now though. Just look at the timetable and the map. They'll help for now."

"Thanks."

I rustled through it and took out the two important things then slipped it back into my bag. There was a seat next to the office for visitors but I took a seat briefly to read where I was to go. With my dawdling around I'd missed registration so was just going to go to my first class. From the timetable I had English first double period and it was on the second floor.

I set off and quickly found my class, luckily it hadn't started, and took a seat at the back of the room. No one spoke to me until lunch time but plenty of students looked over and whispered about me being Cullen's step-sister.

There were loads of free tables when I got to lunch so took one at the back of the room, out of the way of the other students. Surprisingly I wasn't alone for long. A tray was placed opposite me and I looked up to see the girl I'd met at the wedding, Alice.

"Hi."

"Hey Bella. How's your first day going?" She tucked into her food, ignoring my surprise at her arrival.

"It's been okay." And it had, despite being alone the whole time.

"Great," she smiled at me. "Made any friends yet? Saw any cute guys you like?"

"Eh…no for both." Well I had seen a cute guy but I happened to live with him so he didn't count. All those thoughts about Edward should be banished from my mind.

"Oh." Now she was the one surprised. "It's the first day so maybe things will change later."

"Alice, not that I mind but, why are you sitting with me and not your friends and boyfriend?" I asked, hoping that didn't sound rude.

"I wanted to see how you were settling in. Edward won't make sure you're alright but someone should, so that's going to be me." Great, she was here out of pity.

"Thanks I guess."

"How are things at home? Jasper told me about Felix yesterday. How badly were you hurt?"

"Things are fine. I wasn't really hurt, just winded for a while."

"That's good. Felix looks like he's been in the wars." She turned her head and nodded at his table. He had a black eye and swollen lip, thanks to Emmett, and a crooked bruised nose, which I'll take credit for. "Nice punch. You almost hit as good as Rosalie."

"Rosalie?" Alice turned her head again and nodded at a striking blonde girl sitting by herself. With those looks I'd think every straight guy in the room would be on her. Maybe she had an STD they didn't want to catch.

"She's gorgeous as you can see but doesn't like a lot of folk here. She talks to Jasper and I but refuses to sit with us no matter what. It's a shame really; she's actually a lovely girl behind that bitchy exterior."

As if Rosalie could hear us she glared at our table. Alice ignored the look of hatred and waved happily as I just sat there. Rosalie picked up her tray of food and then dumped it in the trash before heading out, but not before giving us another glare.

"Yeah, she seems lovely," I muttered, shaking my head.

Alice prattled on once she got a hold of my timetable and was so happy to see we were going to be in Art together. To be perfectly honest I thought I wouldn't like Alice, she was too friendly with the guys but after she came over to talk to me it seemed like she could possibly the one friend I have, even if it is out of pity on her part.

As Alice was telling me about some of the bad teachers I had Edward and a flock of followers came over. He stood at the end of the table, smirking down at me, and I knew that the caring Edward from yesterday was gone.

"Afternoon Alice," he greeted, kissing her on the cheek. She patted his back but reached for Jasper with her other arm, not bothering with Edward's antics. "Sis." His smirk grew when he leant in for a kiss. I moved backwards though so he couldn't touch me.

God knows what I picked up last time we shared saliva.

Emmett's booming laugh rang out when I wouldn't let Edward kiss my cheek. He smacked Edward on the back and sunk to his knees next to me.

"Bella, can I kiss you?" he pouted at me and I rolled my eyes.

They all must have been bored and wanted some fun. Emmett seemed harmless enough though so I shrugged and gave him the go ahead. He grinned like a Cheshire cat after he kissed my cheek.

"See, the girls can't resist me," Em declared, winking at me.

"Sure," Edward said, crossing his arms.

"Well Ed, she kissed me, not you."

"Actually you kissed her and on another note she has kissed me," I stared at him in shock at what he just said. Was he seriously airing that out for the whole school?

The others surrounding them rolled their eyes at Edward's words. Thank God they thought he was lying. I would not be known on my first day as the girl who sleeps with her step-brother. That's just too fucked up.

"Don't lie Edward, it's unbecoming of you," Alice scolded. He nodded in what I guess was an apology. From that gesture I knew Alice had control over these boys, though I don't know how in God's name she managed that.

"Fine I lied. I kissed her. It was to seal our deal," he began telling the guys around him, each of them hanging off his words like they were their last dying breath. "In compensation for her gold-digging whore of a mother marrying my father Bella has agreed to let me fuck her brains out when I please. I think this is very fitting."

The worst part of all was that they believed him, or at least looked like they did. Well nearly all of them. Emmett, Jasper and Alice didn't but the other minions bought it one hundred percent.

"I want you in my bed tonight Bella, at eleven, on all fours." I looked at him in utter shock.

I do believe I was just treated like a prostitute except there would be no money on the night stand afterwards. Not only had he insulted me but also my mother, I know she had problems but I didn't need them broadcasted.

No sooner than I thought it I was on my feet. I didn't know why but I was standing. Edward raised his eyebrows at me, waiting for my next move. Everyone in the dining hall was watching intently at what was about to unfold. After all I was about to slander their king.

King Cullen, tyrant and serial womaniser. Lock up your daughters' cause he's on a rampage.

There was no need for me to say anything; they all could see the anger in my eyes as I looked at my step-brother. Without giving it a second thought I rammed my knee into his groin and brought him to the floor. Now he was the one on all fours.

"Go fuck yourself Cullen." I quickly grabbed my bag and left, praying to God I didn't trip.

Once out of the lunch hall I had no idea where to go. The options were to find and empty classroom, the girls' bathroom, or the library. I chose the library seeing at the books could distract me from the meltdown my brain was in.

Had I actually kneed Edward Cullen in the crotch? Fuck he wouldn't be happy about that. Hell no one would. They'd all despise me now, way to go Bella. I'll pitch up tomorrow and they'll lie in waiting with pitchforks. The angry town folks killing me just as Cullen asked them too.

To make it worse I realised I had to be in the car with him this afternoon when he took us home. That seriously was going to be a nightmare. Though I'm thinking after that incident in the lunch hall he might have retracted his offer for a lift. To save myself the bother I made the decision that at the end of the day I'd walk home.

The rest of my afternoon classes were weird and stressful. Not only were all the students gossiping but so were the teachers. Shockingly they didn't treat me like I had come in their house and pissed on their kids, like everyone else was. In fact the teachers warmed up to me after lunch, having heard about it. They clearly hated Cullen as much as I did right now.

The final bell rang and I wrapped the blazer tighter round myself as I braced for the cold air. It was Baltic and I missed the heaters from inside. Everyone else was going towards their cars as I walked out of the gates, getting seriously weird looks. Like it mattered anymore.

It took me twenty minutes to walk from the school to town and I knew I had another forty ahead of me until I got back to the Cullen's house. For the second time today though a car pulled alongside and the window came down.

"Need a ride?" That wasn't the voice I expected to hear. I was listening for Edward's, not some random girl. I turned and looked into the eyes of Rosalie. Was she seriously talking to me?

"Eh…if you're offering.

"Get in."

"Thanks." She nodded and sped away.

"I'm Rosalie but you can call me Rose," She said, breaking the silence.

"Bella."

"Oh I know who you are." Right, of course she did. We were silent again but Rose started up again. "I heard you kneed Cullen in the balls."

"I did." She didn't sound angry like the other girls. In fact she seemed pleased.

"Damn I wish I hadn't left lunch so early. Think you could do it again for me?" I laughed but got the impression Rose wasn't joking. Someone else didn't like Cullen either, fantastic. I now had an ally.

"Oh I'm sure there will be other opportunities for that to happen again."

"Good. I want front row seats through." I nodded as Rose weaved the car through town.

We sat in silence the rest of the ride and I thanked Rose when she pulled up outside my…Cullen's house. This wasn't my home; I had to remember that, I was just living here temporarily.

"Thanks again."

"No problem. I'll pick you up here tomorrow morning. Be ready," she said, fixing her hair in the rear-view mirror.

"What?"

"I'm taking you to school tomorrow. There's no way Edward would let you ride with him and I won't have you walking it. So I'll see you then."

"Okay, thanks." I got out the car shocked. Had I found a friend or just someone with the same hatred for Edward as me? Whatever, I wouldn't pass up on friendship since there wasn't exactly spade full's of it.

Now all I had to do for the rest of the night was the mountain of homework and avoid my step-brother, who looked livid as he drove, up the drive towards me. So yeah, fun night ahead.


	4. Chapter 4: Marking What's Mine

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Four: Marking What's Mine**

Lying by the door when I came down for my breakfast was three suitcases. My eyes widened in surprise and I called out for Renee. There's no way she could be getting a divorce already, that's just bloody ridiculous. What the hell was she thinking?

"Mum?" I called again, going into the kitchen.

"What is it Bella? There's no need to yell," she said, sitting at the table calmly with Carlisle's arm wrapped round her.

"Why are there bags at the door?"

"Oh didn't we tell you, we're leaving for our honeymoon today. Carlisle thought it best that you were settled in before we left. Wasn't that sweet of him?" she cooed, kissing Carlisle.

Edward and I both frowned at them and shook our heads.

"Yeah, sugary sweet." I rolled my eyes and grabbed a plate. Edward skewed some bits of bacon for me and placed them on my plate which I thought was surprising.

Last night I raced into the house when I saw his car and went straight to my room. I locked the door and stayed there the whole night. Around one am I snuck down for some food and then went back upstairs. There was no way I was taking the chance of being met with Edward and having a little chat with him.

So with him practically serving me breakfast by putting food on my plate I was completely lost. I expected him to yell or glare at me for kneeing his goods, not cater to my needs.

"Thanks," I said, taking the glass of juice from him.

"You're welcome." Edward sat down next to, his chair closer than I'd like.

"So where are you going anyway?" I asked Renee.

"Carlisle has an island and we're going there." Edward dropped his fork and stood up suddenly.

"Edward, let's talk next door," Carlisle said, stopping Edward from speaking.

Both men left the room and I sat there stumped. What was going on? I looked at my mum and she seemed as shocked as me. Whatever going on was between them so I bit my tongue and finished my breakfast.

There was a loud honk of a horn outside and I raced to the window. Rose was waiting for me. I waved at her and grabbed my bag and left. As I was leaving I saw Edward raging at his father in his office.

"What took you so long?" Rose asked when I got to her car.

"Something's going on; I don't know what it is."

"Tell me about it." She raced down the drive and on our way to school.

"Our parents are leaving for their honeymoon. Carlisle's taking Renee to his island. Edward freaked." Rose burst out laughing and I shot her a curious look.

"They're going to Edward's mother's island. Carlisle bought it for her when she moved here, just before they got divorced." Oh, well no wonder Edward was pissed.

"Why did you glare at me yesterday?" I asked, not wanting to worry about Edward.

"I thought you were going to suck Edward's co-"

"Okay and how did you get that opinion?"

"You're his step-sister. I figured you'd roll into his bed once you saw him. If you haven't noticed, Edward is gorgeous. Unfortunately he's also and arsehole," Rose said, giving the finger to a driver who cut her off.

"No I certainly noticed how good looking he was." How could I miss it? "But that doesn't mean I'd sleep with him."

"Yet." I glared at Rose but she didn't notice.

"No, I won't sleep with him."

"Bella, he's got his eyes on you, and you live with him. When Edward wants something he gets it. He wants you on your back with your legs spread, begging for him." I winced at how graphic she was. "Now I'm not saying you'll do that but you will sleep with him. When? I don't know."

"But I don't want to sleep with Edward." Granted I was attracted to him, immensely, but I would not sleep with him, he was my step-brother. It's wrong.

"That'll change. Edward will woo you into his bed. Be careful." I nodded but was sure my will would hold out on me and I wouldn't have sex with him.

Rose parked her car and we both got out, receiving a hell of a lot of glares from the girls. I ignored them and kept my head down. Rose laughed at my reaction and lifted my chin up.

"If they hate you you're doing something right."

"What did you do then?" No one would come around Rose so they must hate her too.

"That story's for another day." She immediately perked up when Jasper came over. I was very surprised to see her hug him like she hadn't seen him in years. He kissed her on the cheek and ruffled her hair.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'll see you later?" Jasper nodded and departed, going to over to meet Alice by her car.

"What was that all about?" I asked as Rose came back over and we walked to class.

"We're friends."

"I gathered that."

"Fine, he helped me out in freshman year. Something happened and he was there for me." I was so tempted to ask what happened but I'm sure that whatever did was why everyone hated her.

But that meant I could ask others and they would tell me. If everyone did hate Rose then they would be happy to give me the gossip on her. I wouldn't like to go behind her back but she seemed like a straight forward type of girl, one that would take initiative so maybe she'd understand. I definitely hoped so.

I got straight to it in first class and found a girl who was willing to fill me in. Apparently in freshman year Rose was the prize every guy wanted to have on his arm and the one who wanted her the most was Royce Chatte. He already had a girlfriend though but at a house party Rose seduced Royce and all hell broke loose.

Rose was immediately a whore, slut, slag, tart, wench, floozy, hooker, harlot, hussy, tramp etc. in all circles and no one would go near her. Except Jasper. They had some weird bond together and it made no sense. Things then got complicated when Jasper started dating Alice last year and Rose's reputation was hit again when rumours were flying round that she was screwing Jasper behind his girlfriend's back.

Alice treated her like shit but then one day she was practically best friends with Rose. Everyone was lost but they still had their grudges for Rose. She wouldn't get back in their good books anytime soon.

Personally I don't think Rose did anything with Jasper. After all, why would Alice be so nice to Rose if she had cheated with her boyfriend? That just didn't make any sense.

With that aside, something had happened with that Royce Chatte fellow. Rose was a beautiful girl yes, but I don't think she'd be the one to seduce. Her icy exterior gives off the impression that if a man wants her on his arm then he'll have to work for it.

Even though I found out all that I was left in the dark over what happened between Chatte and Rose. It clearly wasn't as simple as Rose seducing him while he had a girlfriend.

For one, Jasper was best friends with Royce and then suddenly he's friends with Rose. That didn't fit or make sense. It wasn't all black and white. There were many shades of grey that messed this up but apparently only Jasper, Rose, Alice and Royce himself what they were. They weren't talking though.

So I guess I'd just have to wait for them to tell me, which didn't seem like any time soon. Patience wasn't something I had bucket loads of but would need to get, especially if I was going to be around the 'elite' of Forks.

At lunch Rose said I could sit with her if I wanted but the minute I did I'd be branded a whore and icy bitch. Considering the whole school already thought I was fucking my step-brother and the fact that Rose was genuinely being nice I decided to ignore her caution and have a seat.

The whispers started immediately and I felt like I was on show. Why the hell did they care so much? It wasn't like I'd done anything interesting unless they class eating my lunch with someone exciting. If so then the fuckers need to get a life.

When my charming step-brother stepped in with his squad behind him his eyes narrowed at me. I frankly couldn't give a shit as to why he was angry at me now so ignored him. Too bad he came over to the table and I was suddenly aware of his body's proximity to me.

If I shifted backwards a bit my head would hit that solid chest of his, the one I wanted to run my hands over and lick.

Okay so maybe my sexual fantasies were getting out of hand but could you really blame me? I lived with a God. He was perfect and his jerk off attitude made me want to scream at him and then have make up sex. Hot and angry make up sex. The boy was pure sin and I felt like I needed something to confess to next church visit.

Edward never said anything but from the glare on Rose's face he didn't look happy either. Well good cause I was still pissed about yesterday. In all seriousness, what the fuck had happened? Why had my caring Edward turned into a vile little shit face that should be spanked by daddy?

"Why don't you go work your corner and give me and my step-sister a chance to talk?" Edward suggested to Rose.

That really pissed me off, and from the looks of things, Rose too. Before she had a chance to say anything I grabbed my fork and jabbed it over my shoulder, prodding Edward in the stomach with it.

"Fuckers!" He jumped back and walked round the table so I could see him now. "You stabbed me." He glared and took the fork from my hand.

"Oh shut it, stop exaggerating. Now go away and throw a tantrum for daddy. " Rose looked smug and flipped her hair over her shoulders.

"Put in your place Cullen. That's new." Edward glared at her and then looked back to me.

"Can we talk?" I shook my head and resumed eating my food. "Why?"

"I don't want to talk to you. Now leave me alone."

"Fine. We'll talk later. Carlisle wants me to buy you a car. I'll be taking you to the dealership and getting you one then we can go home separately." With that Edward walked off, leaving me in a foul mood.

"What's with the frown?" Rose asked, glaring at the guys as they walked away.

"I don't want them to buy me a car."

"And why not, it's free?"

"Because then everyone will think I'm like my mother," I muttered but Rose clearly heard it.

"Yeah they probably will but what can you do? Nothing. Seriously Bella don't sweat it. You'll prove them wrong in the long run, right?"

"Of course. I'm nothing like my mother."

"So what does it matter?"

"I don't like being judged for her mistakes." Rose nodded in understanding and sighed.

"Don't let these twats get to you. You're better than them."

"Thanks."

"S'okay but don't tell anyone I'm being nice to you." I chuckled and shook my head.

"Alright."

We finished our lunch and I headed off to my afternoon classes. I had a double of art and was looking forward to just escaping from the crap that goes on. However, when I entered the art room Alice was sitting there smiling at me and inviting me over. I forgot we'd be together for this.

Though maybe if I played this right she'd tell me what happened with Rose and Royce. She was on the inside of that issue and would know. Then again I felt guilty for trying to pry that information out of her when she was being nice to me.

"Bella, I saw you sitting with Rose, you two friends now?" Alice said as I sat down next to her, waiting for the teacher to get there.

"Something like that."

"Yeah, Rose doesn't really make friends so don't worry about it. Edward!" I frowned at Alice and then turned around to see my step-brother walking towards me.

What the hell was he doing in art class? I never suspected Edward to be of the artistic type so this was a shock. He gave Alice a soft smile and nodded curtly at me.

"Come join us."

"I'm not sure. I'll just go sit over there," Edward said, beginning to walk away.

"No, stay. Please," I said. My guess was that normally he would sit here with Alice. Just because I was there didn't mean he had to sit elsewhere, that didn't seem fair.

Edward turned, a little shocked but nodded and sat down. His gaze fell over me and I tried to ignore it but couldn't stop the feeling of his eyes burning into me. We had a very unusual relationship. He's my step-brother but I think about him sexually. It's wrong but I don't care. He seems worth it even though he's an asshole.

In normal circumstances, our parents not married and us just seeing each other at school, I'd think he was a bigger prat than I already do. As we live together though I see him in another light. He wasn't always a jackass, showing his vulnerable side this morning.

There was something there that drew me to him but I'd get my fingers burnt if I wasn't careful, which I wasn't being. The most I could hope from this would be to become friends. Just friends. According to Rose he'd try for more but I'd be strong, put my foot down and make sure nothing else happened. I couldn't take back that kiss unfortunately but it would play as a constant reminder of what not to do.

While I was day dreaming away the teacher had come in and was handing out sketch books to the class. She handed me a blank one and Alice began telling me what I should start with, a simple sketch on the words or something like that. It had to convey the feeling of eerie, magical and mysterious.

She showed me what she had drawn and I was blown away by the scene on the page. The dark trees hung over the page but in between a few were small things shining. Right in the corner, up close, was what only could be described as a fairy looking back at you. It really was amazing.

If this was the standard they expected me to draw at they'd be kidding themselves. There was no way I could draw like her.

"Let me show you Edward's so you have more ideas on what to draw." She pulled his sketch book away from him, much to his dismay, and flipped through the pages until she found the right one.

He had drawn three dark figures coming through the trees, the look of pure evil in their eyes and dressed in an assortment of clothes without any shoes. Their faces were dark on one side, cast in shadow but both their eyes were clear, conveying the exact emotions required for this piece.

Edward got up and brought back a set of pencils for me so I could start. I thanked him but it felt weird. Why was he doing things for me? He clearly thought I was an inconvenience to have in his life. It kinda felt like he was apologising by helping me out though I'd much prefer a spoken apology. His words hurt me, but I'm sure my knee hurt him more.

Regardless of what happened yesterday and this morning I'd have to get on with him after school. After all he was buying me a car. That really wasn't something I wanted but it did give me the independence I craved.

Ever since we moved in with the Cullens I've felt like I could only do what they told me or approved of, sometimes anyway. I had to rely on them for everything and I hated that. It was their money I'd spend now and in order to get from A to B I'd have to use their cars or have one of them take me. It didn't seem right.

So this car was going to help me in some way but then I'd feel indebted to them more. There's no way in hell they'd get me a second hand car or something cheap. The Cullens didn't do cheap. Which left me thinking I'd probably get something they liked but I didn't or something that was so expensive I'd be too scared when driving it just in case I scratched the perfect paint job.

Throughout Art I was given the chance to watch how Alice interacted with Edward. She held the power over the guys but I don't know how. They acted like best friends and at points you could mistake their friendly banter for flirting. It was clear they were close and around Alice Edward wasn't such an ass.

He actually was like a genuinely nice guy. There was that sweet and funny side to him which made me more relaxed. It was like while he was in this mood nothing bad would happen to me, he wouldn't verbally attack me with his cutting words.

All too soon Art was over and I trudged off to Biology. The whole way there Edward was by my side, shooting me glances and then looking back ahead of us. When we both moved to go into the lab at the same time it was apparent we shared this class too. After seeing how he could act that didn't bother me so much.

The teacher handed me a textbook and some blank paper before ushering me to the nearest empty seat. The guy sitting their grinned at me like he had just won the lottery, his eyes scanning my body aswell. I sneered lightly but stopped when I felt someone's hand on my arm.

"What are you doing?" I asked Edward as he guided me to his desk.

"You're not sitting next to him."

"Why not? Maybe I wanted to." I didn't but he didn't have to know that.

"The sneer gave you away. Plus he's a twat who'll probably spend the year groping you. There's no way I'm going to let that happen."

Edward's desk was right at the back of the room, in the corner. The creep I was going to sit next to kept turning round to look at my legs under the desk but quickly stopped when Edward removed a Stanley knife. I just about screamed when I saw that.

"Why the fuck do you have that?!" I whispered angrily.

"Guess I forgot to leave it in art." He shrugged and scratched at the wooden ledge just below the tabletop.

"What are you doing? That's vandalism," I scolded him as he chuckled lightly.

"I'm just marking what's mine." Glancing down I noticed he had carved into the wood his name. Very mature.

"Do you do that with girls too? Make them get a tattoo on their lower backs saying 'Property of Edward Cullen'." He laughed and shook his head.

"Not yet but I think I should. I'd like you to be the first one to get it." His hand slid under my jumper and then my shirt and skimmed across the skin of my lower back. Goosebumps trailed after his fingers and I felt like I was going to turn to goo under his hands.

"Please remove your hand," I managed out. He chuckled again and leant towards me.

"Why should I stop? Bella it's clear you like it, you're nipples are evident through your jumper like headlights." I looked down and blushed before folding my arms.

"Edward I won't tell you again."

He grinned at me but took his hands away, giving me a chance to collect my thoughts after they were shot to hell seconds before. I wasn't happy with him for that. Not only was he trying to seduce me in the middle of biology class but I was responding to him.

Rose was probably right. I'd sleep with him at one point no matter how set I was now. The second his hands touch me that resistance dies away and I have no control over myself anymore. This wouldn't be the last time he'd try it and although my libido screamed with joy my brain was in agony, knowing I'd screw him and everything up.

Thankfully Edward didn't try anything else during Biology and acted like the perfect lab partner. He was attentive, didn't chatter on, paid attention, and seemed to be generally interested in what was going on. I on the other hand was counting how many ways I could get him to say my name in lust.

Biology was the last class of the day so I followed Edward to his car, saying bye to Rose on the way, and he took me to Seattle to look at the cars they had there. Apparently there was more choice and variety, like I really cared.

When he pulled up outside an exclusive dealership sporting Ferraris, Porches, Aston Martins, and Lamborghinis I protested profusely. He didn't see the problem but I certainly did. Since we were there though he wanted me to look round just in case I saw something I liked.

As I walked round I was scanning for the cheapest car, which was actually quite hard given the selection. Though there was a truck at the back of the showroom which didn't fit in with the rest of the cars here and as its price tag was much lower than the rest I set on that one.

"See anything you like?" Edward asked as I approached.

"Actually yeah I do." His eyebrows rose in surprise and he smiled at me.

"Really? That's great. I thought I was going to have a hard time convincing you to get one of these. So which one do you like?" I grabbed his hand and pulled him through the showroom to my choice. "You've got to be shitting me?"

"Nope. I would like this one please," I said politely, giving him my best smile.

"No fucking way." I pouted at him and squeezed his hands gently.

"Please Edward."

"Bella could you not have picked something else? Why'd you have to pick a truck? A cheap truck at that. It's probably the cheapest thing in here."

"It is." He rolled his eyes and muttered typical under his breath. "Look I don't like how you're going to buy me a car but I'm glad you are. If I had one of those fancy things I'd hate driving it but with this I can actually see myself in it and being happy with it. Please Edward."

"Fine. What colour do you want?" He picked up the brochure next to it and showed me the colour options.

"Red." With that he walked off to the sales guy and negotiated some details while checked out what I had convinced him to buy.

It was big and looked sturdy. If I was ever in an accident this car would come out on top every time. It looked indestructible. Definitely a good choice.

"They have it in Red and we can take it away today," Edward said, walking me round to the lot out back where they kept the cars.

"This one has four doors." I noticed. The one in side only had two, which made it cheaper by about five and a half grand.

"Yeah but this is the only one they have here. You'd be on a waiting list for three weeks otherwise and that just won't do. If you don't want this one then we have to find you another car. My father specifically said you were to have it for today and be driving it as soon as. No waiting time." I grumbled but nodded my head.

Edward went to sort out the final details as I looked in the interior of this one. It was much the same, minus the backseats. When I saw Edward coming back over with the keys in hand I jumped out and ran into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"Thank you for this, and for not pushing the issue. I didn't want you to spend a lot of money on me." He looked at me in surprise but then nodded.

"S'okay."

"If you don't mind me asking though, how much did this cost?"I gestured to my truck. It was officially mine now.

"About forty two thousand dollars."

"What?! Tell me you're shitting me. The one I saw inside was only twenty two, how is this one so much more?" I was appalled he spent that amount of money on just a car. Twenty two was a lot to spend as well but not as much as forty two.

"That was the most basic model they had. This is the top model they have. Don't sweat it Bella."

"How can I not?!"

"Look if I had spent thirty grand or less on a car for you my father would have gone ahead and bought something he deemed acceptable. He would have thought I was punishing you for shit. Carlisle thinks that the more you spend on something the better it is, which I know isn't necessary true. If he bought you a car he wouldn't have asked what you wanted and would have gone ahead with one of those."

I followed where he was pointing and saw the Lamborghini that scared the crap out of me when I arrived. His reasons made sense but that didn't mean I was happy with them. I sighed in defeat and he handed me the keys, kissing my cheek.

"You know your way home or do you want to follow me?"

"Follow you please." I knew I could get to Forks fine but once in town I didn't know where to turn off to go up that lane of theirs leading up to the house. "That okay?"

"Of course. I'll see you at home." Edward kissed my cheek again and went round to the front where we parked his Aston Martin.

I really didn't get him at all. One moment Edward is a complete and utter tool and the next he's kissing my cheek, holding my hand, being sweet and acting like a good guy. What was with his mood swings? I mean in Biology he wants to get under my skirt and at the car dealership he's all caring. It was like there were two sides to him and I had the presence of both of them. Though something told me I'd see more of flirtatious Edward that the sensitive one. That's not what my resistance needs right now.


	5. Chapter 5: Money On The Nightstand

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Five: Money On The Nightstand **

As Rose was aware of me getting a new car she, thankfully, didn't drive round to our house, sorry, the Cullen house. Edward had made it very clear this was his house and I was just a temporary guest, living here with my mother.

Eventually she would be thrown out of his father's life too and there's no point getting settled here. That made me feel very welcome. I knew he was just testy because right now out parents would be having their honeymoon on his mother's island. That obviously didn't go down well.

I found out that the island had a name, Isle Esme, but now had been renamed Isle Renee. This made me think that after my mother would the next Mrs Cullen have it named after her? Probably.

Edward seemed to be aware of that too and the once special gift for his mother had lost its charm. That's why he was so angry all the time. I thought after last night it would be different as he acted like we were getting on and things were fine. Apparently they weren't though, as I found out at breakfast.

He had a complete hissy fit when I was loading the dishwasher and knocked the plates together accidentally. According to Edward I was doing it on purpose just to piss him off and make his life miserable. That then turned into a rant about my mother doing the same thing. During his tantrum I just stood there, waiting for him to calm his ass down.

Instead Edward stormed out the room, cursing at me, and calling me names. Very mature. Seeing as I hadn't done anything wrong I got a little angry and then when I was leaving he started spewing out bullshit about my mother. So by the time I pulled up at school I was pissed as fuck.

My mood then got worse thanks to the lovely students of Forks Public School. I parked my truck and got out to several shaking heads and disgraceful looks. They were looking at me like I was a fucking tramp who'd rolled in shit.

"Gold digging whore," the anorexic bitch said to me as I held the door out for her. Now I wish I had slammed it back on her frigid face.

I sighed and shook my head, practically stomping off to the form room. Of course everyone in that room gave me the same treatment. It was all some sick shit. None of them understood the situation one bit but that didn't stop them from judging me. I wanted to scream at them but knew that wouldn't help one bit.

So for the first three lessons I endured it but by the fourth one I was at the end of my tether. In the silence of the classrooms they still made their malicious thoughts known by writing lengthy notes, detailing cruel facts about me.

For example the note that was handed to me. I don't think they meant me to see it but the person sitting next to me just slid it across the desk then swore loudly when I opened it. It gave me a good insight into what they thought.

_Isabella I Fuck My Step-Brother Swan_

_Not only is she a gold-digging whore but she also screws Edward. _I'm surprised he even touches her. She's so poor she'd probably be covered in diseases so if any of us hook up with Edward now we'll have to get checked. So true. That bitch should just fuck off. She's a glorified prostitute. That car is the money on the nightstand for her. **Haha if I was her I'd ask for more. That truck isn't worth it. Though that could be a sign of how shit she was in bed. **_I second that. The whore is probably crap. Cullen will regret screwing her but then again he just wants to get laid and she's convenient. _She's just like her mother, Edward's rich so she lays back and spreads her legs for him. Stupid lapdog bitch. **Did anyone see her attempt in art? It was so fucking pathetic. Whore can't draw for shit. All she's good at is accepting cock. **_Lol that she is. I wonder how much Dr Sexy paid the school to accept trash like her. Must have been fuck loads. _Well he can certainly afford it but he shouldn't be using his hard earned cash on those gold digging skanks. They should be killed off. Maybe an accident could take care of them. _**I wish. That would solve all our problems. Cullen would finally be able to take his eyes off her and start paying attention to the rest of us. **_Yeah, what's with him anyway? Why's he lusting after her and defending her? What's he got to gain? **A blow job and sex whenever he wants. **_Lucky bastard, I'd like her smart little lips round mine. _Pay her, she'll willing do it. **Haha yeah, I think $1 will get you what you want. **_Damn right. Maybe I'll pay her too. I'd want some of that action. If Cullen's fucked her she's old news for him. __**The lot of you should shut the fuck up. Leave her alone, she's done nothing wrong. Take your head out your arses and slag off someone your own wealth status! **_

That was the end of the note. I scanned the desks quickly but couldn't work out who wrote what. They had past it around and reread the new additions. One person in this room defended me but the rest had made their thoughts clear.

It hurt, badly. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry though. That would be the beginning of the end for me if I did. They would just get more and more malicious. If I wanted to get through the remainder of the year without a mental breakdown I had to learn to keep my emotions in check until I was away from the prying eyes of the Forks 'elitists'.

The minute the bell rang I was out of the classroom and on my way to the bathroom. I needed to calm myself down. You can only be called names so many times before it takes its toll. Now was one of those times.

The stalls were all empty. I picked the one at the end and locked the door, putting the lid down before taking a seat. I was pissed as fuck and furious with myself for being in this position. I should have just left the god damn truck at home and walked to school. The wrath of the teachers for being late was nothing compared to the ridicule I was receiving.

Tears of anger rolled down my cheeks and my breathing became more laboured as I tried to control the rage running through my system. I just hated this…this new life. There was no place for just me. At home it was the Cullen's home, not mine. The truck was theirs. This school was Edward's playground.

I quickly pushed the tears away and grabbed some toilet paper for my nose. It was so pathetic of me to be so weak and cry over all this but yet I couldn't help it. The waves of anger kept crashing over me every time I thought about Edward and his attitude towards me, the house and how I was a stranger living there, school with everyone's bitchy comments, and my mother.

She had put me in this God awful situation and seemed to have no care in the world about what would happen. Renee only thought of herself and I just had to go along for the ride. Well this was one ride too many and I was not at breaking point. Though I doubt she'd care, too hung up on Carlisle to think about anything else.

The bathroom door opened and I heard someone's footsteps as they moved about by the sinks. There was no way I wanted everybody to find out I had been crying so kept as quiet as possible.

A couple of minutes must have passed but they, whoever they were, was still here. I snuck a look under the locked stall door and saw the tiny feet of Alice. Her shoes gave her away. She must have known I was here. This was so shit. But instead of opening the door and letting her see me like this I kept quiet and stayed in my stall.

Eventually I heard her sigh and for a quick second I thought she was getting up and heading for the door. Of course she wasn't though. I heard her moving around and her placing a toilet seat down. Looking up I saw Alice's familiar face just peak over the top.

"Look I know you're here and my suspicions are correct, you're upset. Please make this easier for me and just let me in to talk to you face to face. I don't think I can lean over this thing for long."

A part of me didn't want to make this easier for her. Unfortunately I knew I had to. Alice was just being a friend and looking out for me, which was very rare at the moment. If I was to turn her away now I'd really be a lost cause later on.

Still, I got up rather grudgingly and unlocked the stall door, letting her in. She jumped down off the toilet lid in the stall next door and came round into mine, shutting the stall door behind her. For several seconds she just stood before me and took in my appearance. I don't know what she hoped to see and frankly I didn't care. What concern was it to her anyway?

"You're angry?" Alice asked, completely confused.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well I thought you had been crying because of what everyone has been saying about you. Why are you angry?"

"For being in this position in the first place. I just hate it all and am pissed about it." I shrugged afterwards, trying to play this off. She didn't buy it.

"What went on this morning?" I frowned at her and shook my head, not sure what she was getting at. "With Edward. He came into school all moody and pissed. I gathered something had happened at home."

"He was just being his normal pleasant self." I was now beginning to feel trapped in here at the hands of Alice and her questions.

"Did he say something?"

"He said a lot of things." She looked at me exasperated and then pleaded with her eyes for me to open up to her. "He just wanted to make it clear that this was his house and I was only a guest, not to get comfortable."

"That boy can be bloody stupid sometimes."

"Sometimes? No, he's stupid all the time," I corrected her.

"I'm not that bad." My eyes widened in surprise and Alice just rolled her eyes before opening up the stall door, which was a task as there wasn't much room for either of us to move.

Leaning against the sinks was Edward, looking rather out of place in the girls' bathroom. He had his arms crossed across his chest and appeared bored with this situation. By now my tears had dried and you wouldn't have been able to tell I had cried. That I was so thankful for. It would have been worse if he had known.

"How you holding up? I hear they're got the claws out for you, along with some other things." He smirked at the end and pushed himself away so he was walking towards me.

I was still sitting on the toilet seat, tissue in hand, while Alice had moved out to stand near the wall. I think she was just sticking around in case we needed a mediator. No doubt an argument would form from this somewhere. It always did.

"I'm fine," I lied, not wanting him to know how I was angry and upset at everything being thrown my way.

"Liar," he sang, coming into the stall and taking my hands. Edward led me backwards so I was in the middle of the floor then shocked the hell out of me by wrapping his arms around my waist and hugging me. This was not what I was expecting. "You don't have to hide your emotions from me, I am your brother."

"Step-brother," I corrected.

"Same thing." He shrugged and then took my hands, bringing me back again so I was standing in front of him leaning against the sink. "Now, what got to you?"

"Like I said, I'm fine." He shook his head at me.

"That's not what I asked. What got to you? Something must have, now go on and tell me what it was." He was completely different to how he was this morning and it was confusing the hell out of me. How was I meant to keep up with his rapid mood swings?

"Why do you care anyway?" I spat out at him venomously. Edward didn't flinch at all and acted like he expected me to react this way.

"I care because you're my step-sister and part of the family. Nobody hurts the family." This he seemed deadly serious about.

"It was just some stupid class note, that was all." That's what had set this off. If I hadn't seen that I wouldn't have broken down in anger over what I call my life.

Edward turned to Alice, who nodded and then left us alone. They always had private conversations with each other like that though I never knew how as neither of them said anything. It pissed me off too, keeping me out of the loop like that. What was that nod for? Where's Alice off to? Didn't matter how much I wanted to know, they weren't going to spill. Just like Rose and what happened with Royce then.

"Bella?" I looked back up to Edward and saw he was being serious again. "You know I'll be there for you right, when you need me."

"I don't need you Edward." He didn't buy it.

"Yes you do. I'm Edward Cullen and at this school that means something. You're Bella Swan, that holds nothing around here. Hell, even the dinner ladies have more respect than you."

"Who's fault is that?! It was you who came out saying we were fucking and that made me look like a gold-digging whore."

"Well if the shoe fits," he snapped.

"Excuse me?" I asked, caught off guard by his remark.

"You heard me."

"Yes I did but that is complete bullshit. I am not a gold-digger or a whore." He laughed at me and shook his head.

"Sweetie that's exactly what you are. You Swan women are all the same. You're mother warms my father's bed and you'll warm mine. In return you get a car, good education and an unlimited credit card. What more could you want?"

I snapped.

My hand flew out at him and connected with his cheek. The stinging sensation rippled across my palm as I took my hand back. There was a bright pink handprint on Edward's cheek from where I'd slapped him.

His face was turned to the side and his eyes looked almost deadly. There were like coal staring back at me now. He was pissed but I was fucking livid.

"Do. Not. Slap. Me," he gritted out. "If you do it again I'll slap you right back."

Edward wasn't kidding when he said that and I knew he would. That wouldn't bother me though. He could slap me if he wanted to; it would just spur me on to kick his rich boy ass.

Both of us just stood there glaring at each other. I had nothing more to say to him and he didn't have anything new to add. It felt like this could go on and on but I wasn't willing to break first. Neither of us did though. Rather, Alice came in holding a piece of paper.

She looked at both of us, then my hand and Edward's red cheek. A wince crossed her face momentarily before she reached out and handed Edward the sheet. He finally dropped his eyes and unfolded it.

Curiosity got the better of me and I looked down to see he was holding the note from my last class. Where the hell had Alice got that from?

My eyes went back to Edward's face and he was staring at the paper with a frown. I don't know what he had to be confused about; it was plain and simple what they were saying about me. Edward looked back at Alice and she handed him another sheet. This one I hadn't seen before but wasn't getting the chance to.

Edward turned away from me, his back to my face and all I could see was his reflection as he read over the new sheet of paper. The deathly silence was irking away at me and I just wanted someone to say something now. Preferably telling me what was going on.

"This is complete crock," I heard Edward mutter. "Alice can you give Bella and me a moment please." It wasn't a question.

Alice looked between us for a moment then left. She obviously thought we'd be fine together now, seeing as I had already slapped him. Edward turned back round to me once the door had shut and gave me a pitiful look. That did nothing to calm me down or make me feel better.

"Don't take this to heart," he began, folding up the pieces of paper and sliding them into his blazer pocket. "It's all bullshit."

"Clearly it's not if you think the same." Edward stared straight into my eyes and then shook his head.

"Like I said, just ignore it." He began to walk for the door, giving up on me but I wasn't done with him.

"That's it? No apology?" Edward turned with a venomous look in his eyes.

"Why would I apologise to you? Seriously Bella, what they're saying is practically true. You know what I think of you so apologising would be pointless. Ignore it and you'll get by. Who cares what we think anyway?" With that he left the bathroom and I had to calm my anger before heading out.

I had no stable ground at the moment. Absolutely none. My mother was being her normal flaky self and probably had her eye on the next divorce payout. Other than her there was no one. Carlisle, as sweet as he was, wouldn't be any help since he's wrapped round my mother's finger. Then there was Edward, the mood swing king, who was clearly never going to be any help for me.

I was in this on my own and no one was going to help me get through the minefield before me.


	6. Chapter 6: Turning Me On

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Six: Turning Me On**

The alarm clock blaring woke me from my sleep and I scrambled out of bed. Moving out of my bedroom I was still in a haze. I stumbled over to the bathroom and opened the door, yawning and pushing my bed hair away from my face. Then I froze.

Standing before me was Edward, his chest glistening from water droplets making their way from his pecks, down his toned abdominal muscles and into the towel hanging round his waste. My God he looked good undressed.

"Bella?" I looked up suddenly, startled. Edward was chuckling away to himself. "You alright there?"That deadly smirk graced his features.

"Yeah I'm fine," I chocked out. He shook his head laughing and shut the door, trapping me in the bathroom with him.

"You come in here to shower?" I nodded, not really knowing what was going on, too busy concentrating on his body. God I'd like to save this mental image as my screensaver. "Well strip then."

My eyes widened instantly and I looked at Edward to see if he was being serious. It's just like him to mess with me. He was though, being serious and just expected me to strip right there and then. Well fat chance of that happening.

"No way," I said defiantly, crossing my arms over my chest. Edward pouted slightly but wasn't deterred.

"Come on Bella, we can conserve water together. Plus it's normal for siblings to bathe together."

"Yeah when both of them are like toddlers. So not happening. And, how would we be conserving water when you've already showered?" I asked, indicating to his drool worthy chest.

"Because I still feel so dirty and need to shower again." His arms snaked out and tried to pry mine away from my chest. It wasn't happening though.

"That's it, get out!" I demanded. God I actually felt weak enough to accept his idea of showering together. That would just be dreadful. I'd live up to his expectations about me.

"Are you seriously kicking me out of my bathroom?" he asked, amused by it all.

"Yes, yes I am. Now, out you go." I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him towards the door behind me. I did manage to get him out but clearly he didn't put up much of a fight or I'd never have got him out of here.

After locking the door I striped and entered the shower. My body went into overdrive knowing that I was naked where Edward had just been naked minutes ago. Bloody hell, I did not need to be sexually frustrated right now. Damn Edward and his perfect body.

When I went downstairs for breakfast it was like he knew I had been having illicit thoughts about him. There was that little smirk playing on his features. Worst of all I blushed like I had been caught doing something naughty. That just got him chuckling away to himself.

Ignoring him through breakfast seemed like the best thing and once I was finished I practically raced to my truck so I could go to school. Unlike yesterday people were acting like I wasn't even there, which was better for me.

There was no name calling, almost no dirty looks, and instead of people whispering about me they acted like I was invisible. It certainly felt like I was invisible lately. No one ever seemed to see me. Edward only did when he was teasing or winding me up. Everyone else though, nothing.

So when lunch came around I was a little surprised that Rose said I should sit with her. Yes, Rose had acted like a friend in the beginning but once the novelty of me wore off she was just like everybody else and ignored me. But then I found out why.

"If you wanted to know about my sordid past you should have asked me and not ran off to some loud mouthed bitch." Rose gave me an icy and calculated glare.

"So you found out about that then?"

"Of course, once one person starts talking it all comes up again, everybody starts talking." This looked like it hurt her and I felt bad for going behind her back like that when I should have just asked her. The guilt only lasted for a second though. I didn't need her shit right now.

"What are you doing?" Rose asked as I picked my tray and began to move to another table.

"I don't need your attitude right now." She laughed humourlessly and shook her head.

"It's your death sentence." Good, I never liked living much anyway.

A lot of the other students watched me move to another table at the opposite side of the lunch hall. It had caught the eye of Edward as well. He quickly got up from his table and came over to mine, looking amused and angry.

"What are you doing?" his tone was one of amusement, for now.

"Eating lunch."

"Alone?"

"Yes."

"God, you pissed that whore off didn't you?" he ran a hand through his hair and frowned at me.

"Couldn't you just make one friend, even if it is with that STD infected bitch?"

"Don't talk about her like that. Plus I doubt you're any better seeing as you'll fuck anything with a vagina." He chuckled and sat down across from me.

"Very smart. Now, are you going to cause me any trouble today?"

"Cause you trouble, why ever would I do that?" I mused.

"Bella, please, I just want a quiet day. No fights and arguments. So, can I trust that you'll just keep your head down?"

"You know that I actually don't cause trouble, it comes looking for me." Edward laughed and shook his head.

"Sorry I'm not buying it. Anyway, I'll see you at home." He leaned over, kissed my cheek then sauntered back to his friends.

I did as Edward asked and didn't start anything or cause issues. By the end of the day no one else had spoken to me and I still felt completely isolated. But as long as I wasn't making things hard for Edward it's okay. God forbid he has to step up for once.

Friday night was spent with my head in the textbooks as I listened to music, just keeping out of the way. Edward and his friends had come round after school and were currently occupying the living room after eating all the food in the house. However, I couldn't complain seeing as this wasn't my house.

Saturday didn't start any better either. I woke up to loud music blaring from downstairs and a cheer of voices. Glancing over at the alarm clock I saw it was 10:30am. What the fuck was Edward doing having a party this early in the morning.

I threw on some clothes, brushed me teeth and hair then nipped downstairs. At first I was met with three guys all in swimming shorts drinking beer. They grinned at me and leered, which made me feel very uncomfortable. I slipped past them and then Edward spotted me.

"Hey Bella." He handed me an opened beer. "Going to get changed into your bikini, I'd love to see you in it?" I rolled my eyes and looked around.

"What's this?"

"A pool party," he said as though that was the most normal thing in the world. Did he forget we lived in Forks? Just as though he read my mind he answered my unspoken question. "We have an indoor pool. Did you not know that?"I shook my head.

In all honesty I hadn't cared much to search the rest of the house. The only rooms I was ever entered was the kitchen, dining room, the bathroom on the top floor and my bedroom. I knew there was an office and two other bedrooms but other than that I hadn't had a look.

"Alright, okay," I said, handing him back the beer and going into the kitchen.

People had brought food over with them so I did have an option of what to eat. Once I had a satisfactory breakfast I took it back upstairs with me and planned on staying there for the rest of the day. I had a feeling that this pool party would carry straight on into the night and probably into Sunday. I didn't want that but wasn't getting the choice; it would go on around me anyway.

By the time 12 o'clock had come round I had done all my homework and was nestled down on my bedroom floor, wrapped in a blanket listening to my ipod and reading a book. This was the only place I could escape from it all, into the pages of my book.

Sometime later I was disturbed. A hand on my shoulder caused me to squeal and throw the book at the intruder in my room.

"Whoa!" Edward said, pulling out my headphones. "You okay?"

"You scared the crap out of me," I huffed, glaring at him. Edward chuckled and shook his head at me.

"I want you to come downstairs and join us."

"No." He rolled his eyes and sat down next to me.

"Please?" I shook my head.

"I don't want to." He frowned, seeing I was set on not going downstairs. Edward took my hand in his.

"Why not?" he said it in such a way that I felt bad for not wanting to join them all downstairs. Stupid boy and his good looks.

"Because they are your friends down there and I would end up alone."

"Well let's invite some of your friends."

"I don't have any friends Edward." He shot me a look then gave my hand a tight squeeze.

"What about at your old school, some friends there?" His fingers were now entwining themselves in mine. Just sitting there with him felt right.

"Nope. My mother's reputation killed my chances of making friends before I even entered the starting block."

"Oh, well how about you come downstairs and try and make some new ones?" I glanced a look Edward's way and saw his eyes watching our fingers and his thumb caress the back of my hand.

"They won't want to be friends with me." And they didn't. They had all made their intentions and thoughts perfectly clear at school.

"What about Alice, she could be your friend?"

"Look I'm sorry Edward I just don't want to talk about this anymore." It was actually getting me upset, knowing that I was all alone. Edward didn't get that.

"Alright." Thankfully for me he was willing to let this slide.

"You better get back downstairs before it gets out of hand and they trash the place," I said after seeing he had no plans of leaving yet. Edward snorted and shook his head.

"Like they would dare trash this place. It's not going to happen. Plus I have others down there who will make sure nothing gets broken." Did he not realise I needed sometime alone? Bastard probably did and for that didn't want to leave. "Look Bella I know you don't want to come downstairs but I'd really like you there. All I ask is that you come down for a little while then just go in the pool once and maybe spend a minimum of thirty minutes and after that you can come back up here. Can you do that for me?"

I began to say no but when I turned to tell him Edward had this pleading expression and I just couldn't say no. Sighing I nodded my head and watched his face light up.

"Fine. But I'm only going to be there for half an hour max," I warned, no doubt he'd try and make me stay longer.

"Good, glad we've come to some agreement. I'll see you in the pool." With that Edward lifted himself off the floor and left my room.

Then it sunk in. I'd have to wear my bikini and I really didn't want to, not in front of Edward anyway. Plus the vultures were down there and come Monday my body and all its hideousness will be the talk of the school.

They'd just pick at anything so I'd rather not give them any ammunition. Unfortunately I had just agreed to Edward and I wouldn't go back on that, his temper's worse than that of the wankers at our school.

I changed quickly into my bikini and then threw on a summer dress that I hadn't worn in years. It was a bit short but served its purpose to cover up my body. When I walked downstairs I was given leering looks from all the perverts in the house. Just what I wanted, their horny eyes on me.

It didn't take me long to find the indoor pool, I just had to follow the half naked bodies. Edward and Jasper were standing together drinking beer when I entered and both of them raised their bottles to me. I smiled their way, trying to smooth things over, and then walked to the edge of the pool.

With a group of eyes on me I grabbed the hem of my dress and lifted it over my head, discarding it to the side and then diving straight into the pool. When I resurfaced Edward, Emmett, Jasper and a bunch of other guys had stopped to watch me.

"Did you do that on purpose?" Edward asked me once I was out the pool, going to sit down at the side.

"Do what?" He chuckled and sat down with me.

"Take off your dress in some a sexy way that every guy in the vicinity got an instant erection?"

I looked at him shocked, not even thinking that I could have that power. Hell after all I had just taken my dress off, what was sexy about that? I didn't even do it gracefully, just pulled it away so I could get in the pool quickly and hide my body.

Then a thought struck me with what he had just said.

"Including you?" I asked, wondering too if he had gotten an erection from my little 'show'. Edward leaned forward, kissed my cheek and took my hand in his. He led it to his crotch and placed my palm down, rubbing against his prominent hard on.

"Does that answer your question?" Edward's eyes were now smouldering as he rubbed my hand back up and down his prick.

"Yes I think so." I removed my hand and wiped it on the towel nearby, which caused Edward to burst out laughing.

"Do you want something to drink?" He asked, scanning round the pool area.

"No thanks." Edward nodded then tossed his t-shirt to the side, exposing his gorgeous chest. The need to run my hands over his skin and devour him was so strong I felt myself leaning forward. Thankfully Edward stood up and dove into the pool.

He came up to the surface and then used his strong arms to pull himself out of the pool, his chest now glistening with the water. His swimming trunks clung to his legs and groin and the hard on he previously had was gone. The water did the trick, even though it wasn't actually cold. Edward smirked and came back over, practically sauntering to me.

"Were you checking me out?" he sang, drying himself.

"No."

"Bit defensive don't you think? Now Bella, I know you like me, fantasise about me and want me, so why fight this? Let's go upstairs and I'll fuck you like you crave it." For some reason he appeared confident that I'd accept this offer.

"Were you always such a cock Edward or did you just turn into one when your mother abandoned you?" The spark of fun in his eyes died instantly and he looked furious.

"Excuse me?" he gritted out.

"Did you become an intolerable sleaze after your mother fucked off or were you always like that?" I asked again.

"You're a daft bitch, you know that? When you play with fire your fingers get burnt. And in response to your question, rot in hell."

"Oh I already am, haven't you realised that you're the devil?"

"Fuck off back to your room." I laughed humourlessly.

"Are you dismissing me?"

"Yes I am you worthless whore. Now. Fuck. Off." I smiled sweetly at him, kissed his cheek and walked away confidently.

It was clear I had hit a nerve with him. Well good, that's what I meant to do. He was vulgar and insufferable. Living with him was a nightmare what with his temper tantrums and I seriously think he was losing the plot.

If there was to be any neutral ground in this house then Edward had to stop with his cheap and dirty antics. We needed to have this sorted before the parents come back. There's no way I would want my mother snooping into my business trying to find out what's gone on.

Aside from all that I was ready for whatever Edward had to throw at me. In fact I welcomed it. The sod needed to be confronted for his behaviour and I seemed to be the only one willing to.


	7. Chapter 7: Truce of Seduction

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Seven: Truce of Seduction**

The pool room was the only place that was a mess after yesterday's pool party. It was like they had ushered all the trash in there rather than have it all around the house. There wasn't a lot and it was mainly beer bottles, leftover food and things like that. I wasn't going to touch any of it though. Edward had the party so he can clean up the mess.

After our little run in at the pool we didn't really speak to each other again. He said goodnight to me when I went to get some water but other than that no words were spoken. He appeared a little bruised after what I said to him about his mother. I knew bringing her up would hurt him but I didn't think it would be that bad and I was feeling a little guilty now.

He wasn't up however so I couldn't apologise to him just yet. I don't think waking him for that would get me any points so I'd wait. In the meantime I cooked my breakfast and ate it while reading my book from yesterday, the one I had thrown at Edward when he came in my room and scared the hell out of me.

In the middle of my breakfast Edward came down in nothing but some small black boxers, his hair in complete disarray and that sexy look on his face he gets when he's confused. Whatever he was confused about I have no idea.

"Morning," he said, rubbing his eyes as he opened the fridge.

"Morning." I repeated, not sure what else to say to him.

Instead of saying something else I watched as he grabbed the milk, some cereal and then took out a bowl and spoon from the drawer. Edward sat himself down to the right of me and tucked in to his breakfast, waking up more by the second.

"What?" he asked once he'd finished his mouthful, seeing that I was watching him.

"Nothing." To be honest I just couldn't help admire the view of his perfectly sculptured chest.

"Okay then." With that he returned to his cereal and continued to read the info on the back of the box.

We sat in silence and it was sort of awkward. Both of us would took at the other and then look away again quickly. It was like we both had something to say but didn't know how or when would be the appropriate time to say it.

Edward finished his breakfast and put the bowl and spoon in the dishwasher before returning the cereal box to the cupboard. Rather than going back upstairs however he sat back down with me. I shot him a curious look to which he ran a hand threw his hair exasperated.

"Shit Bella I hate saying this fucking bit."

"No one's making you say anything," I reminded him. I didn't want Edward feeling like he had to act a certain way just because of our parents marriage.

"I know but I have to, it was wrong of me, real wrong. I'm…shit…I'm sorry for what I said. When I get angry I just spew crap out. You fucked me off."

"I meant to. I didn't like your attitude and knew what would piss you off. But I'm sorry for bringing your mother into it. That was low of me."

"Yeah it was." I glared at him and he chuckled. "I'm kidding. You don't deserve the crap I've been calling you and for that I am truly sorry. Although I do hold a low opinion of you it's not that low. You're not a whore or a gold-digger. I just know those things will hurt you more."

"They do but I don't want to hear your apologies if you're going to call me those names again." He may have said sorry but I doubt he really meant it. "Seriously Edward, all I hear from you is abuse. It's a complete shock if you're civil towards me and even those times I think you only are because you want to fuck me."

He frowned at the table and made no move to deny that. I sighed loudly and pushed my chair back, getting ready to go back upstairs. That was probably the main reason why he was nice to me, so he could get his release at the end.

"That's not how I feel Bella. Okay, at first, yes, I thought you were going to be just like your mother but I now know you're not. It's just shit that when we argue I go for the jugular and bring out the things that will cause you most pain. But after yesterday I know you'll do the same."

"That doesn't make it any better."

"I know that. Look, what I'm trying to say is that I don't think you're that bad. Can we just call a truce?" I had to think about it for a few moments and I could tell that my silence was getting to him.

"Alright, fine. But if you call me a whore etc. again I'll have your balls." He chuckled and shook his head.

"I don't think that'll happen anytime soon."

"Good. Now, go get dressed."

"Why, am I distracting you?" He rubbed his hand over his chest and all my thoughts flew to the gutter.

"Yes you are, stop it," I moaned, getting annoyed that he had that power over me. The power to seduce me in seconds that is.

Edward did go and get dressed thankfully. He headed off to clean the pool as I grabbed a blanket and a movie to watch in the living room. I just needed to relax a bit. My emotions had been everywhere this weekend and with no one to talk to about it I felt mentally and physically drained.

I settled myself on the couch, threw the blankets over my legs and hit play on the remote. This was going to be my time, where I didn't have to be cooped up in my room, and could just act like everything was normal. In other words, escape from the fantasies plaguing my mind over my exceeding attractive step-brother.

I was practically falling asleep when I heard his voice startle me.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Edward asked, standing by the door.

"No, go ahead."

"Thanks." He sauntered over and I thought he would sit down on the other couch but instead Edward flopped down next to me. I gave him a little look and he just shrugged. "I wanted some of the blanket."

He lifted up the excess blanket across me and draped it over his legs. I tried to return my thoughts to the movie I was previously enjoying but I just couldn't do it, not with Edward sitting so close. He looked as though he was watching the movie. Somehow I didn't buy that. He had an agenda; I just didn't know what it was.

About twenty minutes had passed before I was let on to what he had planned. I felt Edward's hand on my knee and at first it just laid there but as time went on he began to caress my knee. He had the look of pure innocence about him and for some reason I didn't ask him to take his hand away.

When it began to crawl up my thigh I was so tempted to tell him enough was enough and then leave but I couldn't. I wanted to see where he was going with this. Alright, I knew where he was going but I wanted to see what he would do. Okay, I also knew what he was going to do but I wanted him to so wasn't going to say a thing.

My breathing picked up and became a little laboured. Edward turned on the couch and planted his lips on my neck, lightly kissing and nipping. I threw my head to the side to give him better access as my brain concentrated on his fingers on the inside on my thigh but not applying pressure to the one place I wanted him to.

I couldn't see what he was doing as the blanket was in the way so when I could no longer feel his hand I thought he was going to stop. Thankfully he wasn't. He just moved his hand so he could slide it down the top of my pyjama pants.

His fingers lightly grazed the top of my panties and I moaned, bucking up into his hand and calling out his name. Edward chuckled against my neck but didn't move his hand any lower. The tips of his fingers every so softly caressed the skin just below the fabric and I felt like I was going to explode if he didn't give me what I needed.

"Edward, please!" I moaned again, shoving against his arm.

His fingers travelled lower and I cried out when he finally gave me the friction I was begging for. Edward's lips didn't relent and moved all the way to the bottom of my neck. He used his free hand to push my top out of the way and kissed, nipped and devoured the skin there.

Edward groaned when he gently pushed one finger into me, feeling how wet and tight I was. He inserted another finger and began moving them in and out, gradually picking up pace. I was tugging at his hair and begging for release.

All my inhibitions were out the window at this point and I couldn't care less that Edward was my step-brother. The only thing I could focus on was Edward's fingers making me feel better and better by the second. I was so close to coming undone under his touch but when I came close he would remove his fingers.

I groaned in frustration, my nails digging into his arm as I attempted to move his fingers back to the only place I wanted them. He finally complied and picked up his speed, rubbing my clit at the same time. It was certainly enough to throw me over the edge and I came hard round his fingers.

"Fuck Bella," Edward cursed, kissing his way up my neck again.

The post coital haze wore off quickly when I heard his voice. It was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on me.

"Shit." I threw the blanket off my legs, shoved his hand away from within my pyjama pants and jumped off the couch. Edward looked at me in surprise as he wiped his hand on his shirt.

"What's wrong?"

"This. This is what's wrong." I looked round in confusion, bewildered as to how I let it go that far. "We can't do this. It's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong about it Bella. We're not related."

"So what?! It's twisted," I cried. "Our parents are on their honeymoon having sex and sharing body fluids," He flinched, as did I mentally. "So it's wrong if we start sharing them too."

"Bella please that was fucking disgusting!" he said, standing up and looking like he was going to vomit. "You know that felt good so why would it be so bad for us to-"

"Don't finish that sentence," I called from the doorway as I began to make my escape to my room. "Let's just try and make sure it doesn't happen again." I left the room and headed upstairs as fast as I could.

Edward was my weakness. He was my Achilles heel. If he kissed me again I would react positively. If he put his hands on my body I'd moan in pleasure. Yes, I knew it was twisted and wrong but that didn't mean I didn't want it, want him.

That so call truce seemed like a green light for him to start seducing me. If he put his mind to it I'm sure he could have me in his bed easy. There was just something about him I couldn't resist and as much as I hated it, the thrill of secrecy about it makes it all that more exciting.

All I had to do though was keep reminding myself that it's twisted and wrong no matter how good it feels. That no doubt would be easier said than done.


	8. Chapter 8: Flaccid

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Eight: Flaccid**

After yesterday's events in the living room, under the blanket, I wasn't sure what to do around Edward. We left things on uncertain ground and I didn't know whether to expect him in a happy mood or in a pissy one. Though there was no question about it, he would have a grouchy edge to him seeing as I had gotten my orgasm and he hadn't.

School was on the agenda and I wasn't looking forward to that. The other students had begun to ignore me but that was before the pool party. They decided to ridicule my art work just after I arrived and now they had my body to mock, I know they won't pass that opportunity up.

Once I was showered and dressed I went downstairs for breakfast and met Edward in the kitchen. The top half of his body was dressed immaculately in the school uniform but the bottom half was missing a key part. He had his boxers, socks and shoes on but he wasn't wearing his school pants. They were thrown over the counter top with a sewing kit out.

"What are you doing?" I asked amused while my eyes checked out his legs.

"The button came off my pants and I'm trying to put it back on." He was concentrating hard on the needle, trying to thread it.

I nodded and then hunted out my breakfast. There was just enough space for me to eat without pushing his pants out of the way and pissing him off. I watched him struggle trying to sew the button back on and for once I felt a little superior for being able to do something Edward could not.

The dishwasher was on already so I cleaned them up in the sink and laughed silently when I heard Edward sighing away behind me. I was considering helping him out but he propositioned me before I got the chance.

"Bella?" Edward whispered, his head now resting on my shoulder and his hands on my hips.

"Yes?" I continued washing my bowl and tried to ignore the feel of his body pressed against mine.

"Can you sew?"

"Yes I can." His lips graced the skin of my neck and he kissed his way up to my ear.

"Will you sew my button back on?" Edward's hands ran up from the top of my skirt to the undersides of my breasts. I moaned in response and rocked back against him.

"Uhuh…I think I can do that."

"Good." He took his hands away from me and trotted back over to the countertop. I sighed in frustration, now completely horny, and decided just to sew the damn button back on.

Edward watched me sew the button back on and then kissed me on the cheek, looking chuffed. He came around behind me and leant against my back, holding me in my arms.

"Thank you, now how can I make it up to you?" He kissed the back of my neck then swept my hair out of the way and kissed my jaw.

"I…no, it's…uh…okay," I got out. We didn't have time to do this before school. "Maybe…later." He chuckled and kissed my neck, licking it ever so slightly.

"I'll hold you to that." Edward took the pants off the counter and put them on, somewhat challengingly due to him having his shoes on. "Good job here Bella, done like the perfect housewife you'll grow to be, cooking in the day time and blow jobs at night."

"What the fuck was that?" I asked angrily. Edward turned to me surprised, then he clocked what he said.

"Shit that was eh…fucked?" It came out as more of a question which angered me more.

"Yeah it was. Now you want to explain it?"

"I…don't know."

"Screw you Edward. Seriously, we take two steps forward and three back." I immediately left the kitchen then, grabbed my bag and went out to my truck. Edward came out just after me, locking up and went to his car.

I parked at school and then jogged into the building to get away from the other students. P.E. was first double and that just soured my mood. It was lacrosse this morning so I changed and went out onto the pitch with everyone else. I didn't own a lacrosse stick so the department supplied me with one. It was just another thing that made me stand out from the rest.

The coach blew his whistle and everyone gathered round to hear his orders. He randomly put us into partners and majority of the class has been paired off so were getting started. I waited to find out who I'd be with and glanced around at the others. There were some bitches left, a few perverts and some that seemed to be alright, I was just hoping to get paired up with them.

"You and you." The coach pointed at me, threw a lacrosse ball my way and then did the same to my partner. I quickly looked over and Edward smirked at me, throwing the ball up in the air and catching it.

Just fucking great.

"I have to say, you look delicious in those little shorts," Edward whispered as we walked across the pitch. His hand tapped my ass slightly as though to emphasize his point.

"Hands off." He laughed and jogged off in front of me for me to throw the ball to him.

I was challenged when it came to sports so it took me awhile to actually get the lacrosse stick to throw the ball adequately. We did this back and forward for about ten minutes and then the coach told us to cradle it then pass.

Cradling the ball, for me, was impossible. Every time I moved my stick, in what I thought was the correct way, the ball would fall out and then I had to try and scoop it up again. I was having a hard time so Edward thought I needed his assistance.

"How about I help you with your technique?" Before I could protest Edward stood behind me and put his hands over mine on the lacrosse stick.

For a minute or so he was actually helping and showing me what to do. Then his hands strayed. They moved from the back of my hands, up my arms to my shoulders then down my body to my hips. Edward rocked me back and I felt his erection pressing into my backside.

"This is what you do to me sis," he whispered, thrusting his hips forward to achieve the desired friction he wanted.

I had felt him by the pool and had his erection pushed against me before but from this angle he felt much larger than I thought he was. Edward was certainly well endowed in that department. He continued rubbing himself against me and then began moving his hands up my ribcage, to the sides of my breasts.

He was totally taking advantage of the situation and in the process making me horny as fuck. I was getting completely flustered and all I wanted to do was jump him. I didn't care who got a show at that moment, I wanted Edward so badly.

The whistle broke me from my lust filled haze and I spun round, ready to run back to the coach. The stick made contact with Edward and he fell backwards on the grass, cursing.

"Oh shit." I knelt down to see him and saw bloody coming from the side of his head, just next to his eyebrow.

"Well I certainly wasn't expecting that," he said, getting up off the ground. "I love it when you get violent with me." Edward kissed my cheek and then ran over to the coach, along with the other students.

When I walked over Edward was explaining why he had blood coming down his face and the coach, for some god awful reason, thought I did it on purpose so landed me with a detention after school. That was fucking irritating and what made it worse, Edward never stood up for me and told him it was an accident, which it bloody well was.

I was then sent off the pitch, told to change and report back to the coach at four thirty for my detention. Edward could have prevented that happening but no, the git decided against it. My angry mood from breakfast was still lingering and this just added fuel to the fire.

A part of me was glad Edward got hit, serves him right for being such a prick.

The day kinda moved by quickly after P.E. but I couldn't help think that things with Edward and I were changing. We were getting a lot more physical now and I was becoming weak to his charms. He knew it aswell.

At lunch Rose came over to my vacant table and rather than give me her classic sneer she smirked my way. Thankfully she made no move to sit with me; I wouldn't have been able to handle her snarky attitude right now, even though she was smirking.

"Loved what you did in P.E. About time someone smacked that pretty little face of his."

"Why do you hate Edward so much?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Haven't you realised Bella, they take what they want without asking? Well, you soon will. Good luck with your boy. Just remember, after he fucks you, he'll desert you." She walked off but I wasn't alone for long.

Alice came smiling over, taking a seat with her tray. She started off with the usual pleasantries and then we began to move on to what she really wanted to know. What else, Edward.

"How are things at home with him?"

"Alright I guess." I shook her question off and took another bite of my food.

"No seriously Bella, what are your thoughts on him? Edward can be…challenging…at the best of times, I know. The problem I have Bella is I think you like Edward and while that's not a bad thing in itself, it is if you do anything about it."

"Yeah Alice I know, we're step-siblings that's wrong."

"No, that's not what I'm meaning. Edward is like five people rolled into one. I don't think you've met his genuine side yet. Just be careful please, I don't want to see you getting hurt."

"This will sound rude but I'm past caring. Why do you care if I get hurt?" Alice took a few minutes before answering, as though she was trying to phrase her sentence correctly.

"I think…honestly, I think you could do Edward a lot of good. There is only one girl in Edward's life right now and that's me, we're just friends. He needs a more permanent fixture; someone who isn't just a friend but also isn't a fuck buddy. I think that could be you." She shrugged her shoulders then continued. "Maybe I'm talking crap, I don't know. What I do know however is that Edward thinks of you differently than other girls. He has some respect for you. That's rare coming from him. Don't let him think with his dick rather than his head."

"How am I meant to have any control over that?"

"Don't open your legs for him." She smiled innocently at me then left.

I put Alice's concerns to one side and continued my lunch but they did nag me the rest of the day. In detention they were all I could think about and that was driving me crazy. The task I was given was to do an inventory of everything in the equipment cupboard. It was boring shit so my focus was on nothing but Edward.

That boy had me royally stumped. I didn't know whether to trust his advances or not. Granted, he had given me no reason to trust him but there was also that rather tender side to him, the one that cared. God I wanted him to just tell me what the fuck he thought we were or are going to be. Hell, that sounded so girlish.

I drove home in some sort of haze. Today had taken its toll on me somewhat and I wanted to rest. When I arrived at the house I realised that wasn't what I was going to get unfortunately.

"Evening cupcake," Edward greeted me by the door, kissing my cheek.

"Hi I guess. Cupcake though, seriously?" He chuckled and took my hands, leading me into the kitchen.

"I think you're sweet, just like a cupcake. Awfully fitting don't you think?" I rolled my eyes and took a seat on the worktop as Edward moved about the kitchen. "I made us dinner."

"Really, why?" He turned and smiled, holding my face in his hands. The anger for him had gone the second he met me at the door.

"I just wanted to do something nice to make up for P.E."

"Ah yes. Thanks for the detention," I said dryly, snatching some bread from him.

"You're very welcome. I am sorry about that though. I was going to speak up but hell, thought you'd enjoy it." I threw the remainder of my bread at him as he laughed.

"And here I was going to apologise about hitting that pretty little face of yours."

"You were going to apologise, to me?" he asked, plating up our food.

"Yes but not anymore. You pushed your luck." Edward chuckled and sat down by the counter to enjoy his dinner.

"Well I'm sorry about that; I hope you can forgive me."

"Maybe." I slipped down into a chair and sat next to him to eat.

We kept conversation light and carefree. It was like we were two friends hanging out together rather than step-siblings who were at each other's throats all the time. The friend atmosphere died instantly though when we were putting our dishes in the dishwasher.

I was leaning down, as was he, to put our plates in. He said something that made me roll my eyes, and when I looked at him the laughter was gone. It had been replaced by lust. Edward licked his lips and then glanced down at mine.

Our minds were sharing the same thoughts when our lips touched. Calm and careful at first but the passion that had been building up since breakfast exploded, turning the innocent kiss into a hot and heavy one.

I stepped around the dishwasher, still kissing him, and ran my fingers through his gorgeous hair. Edward moaned and put his hands on the back of my thighs, hoisting me round his waist. I locked my ankles round his back as he led us through the house and to his bedroom.

I hadn't been in here yet but my thoughts were not on his décor but rather his hard on. Edward lowered me down onto the centre of his bed and began kissing his way down my neck.

"These need to come off," he panted, running his hands over my clothes.

Agreeing with him completely I helped him remove my school jumper, shirt and then bra. Edward's body was nestled between my legs with only three items of clothing blocking us from sex. He ran his fingers over me breasts, making me arch up into his touch.

The sexy chuckle followed but I didn't feel embarrassed at all, not from the way he was looking at me. He leant forward, leaning on his knees, and slowly kissed his way from my bellybutton to my right nipple. The boy was worshipping my body and I loved every second of it.

While that one was being attended to he used his fingers to stimulate the other, making me cry out in pleasure and buck up into him. Edward would hiss every so often when I'd rub myself against his erection, begging to be freed.

I wanted more skin on skin contact so worked Edward out of his shirt and ran my hands up his chest. He didn't seem too pleased about that and took both my wrists and held them above my head.

"This is all about you tonight, sis." He smirked and then took my depraved nipple in his mouth.

I was struggling to contain myself. All I wanted was for him to be stark naked and fuck me immediately. Edward had different plans though, as usual.

He slid his hands up my legs to my panties under the school skirt. On their way back down he slipped off the knee high navy school socks and then repeated the journey, bringing the panties with him. They were dropped to the floor and next to go was my skirt, which I was thankful for.

I was laid out before him naked. He groaned when he pushed my knees apart, me feeling shy suddenly, then kissed his way from my knee to my inner thighs. He was so close yet so far. I bucked again, wanting his tongue and lips to be the one place they had yet to devour.

"Patience," he whispered from between my legs, getting me wetter by the second.

"Edward please," I begged, needing release.

His wicked grin was the last thing I saw before his tongue finally gave me what I wanted. The rumours were all true. Edward Cullen was a lick out God. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it. I could only hold out for a few more seconds before I climaxed, hard.

"Beautiful," he said, kissing his way back up to my lips where I could taste myself on him.

Edward sat back and my eyes travelled from his face to the tent he was pitching in his pants. I rubbed my hand over it, earning a loud groan from him, before loosening his belt to free him from his constraints.

"Fuck Bella." I kissed his chest and worked his pants and boxers down. Edward kicked them to the floor and was displayed beautifully in front of me. He had the body of a God.

I leant up and kissed him once more then let him get the condom out of his nightstand. He ripped the foil packet open and I took the condom from him, holding the teat at the top then sliding it down to the base of his cock. Perfect condom application if I do say so myself.

Edward leant me back on to the bed and settled between my legs once more. Except this time I could feel him, prodding at my entrance. I was ready for this. He raised his eyebrows, asking to proceed and I nodded.

He thrust into me quickly. I moaned in pain that time as he froze. Fuck it hurt a lot more than I expected. He was too fucking big for me and I felt like I was being ripped open. Shit, I could feel the tears coming, it was just so sore.

Edward lifted his head back, disbelief across his face.

"You're a virgin?"

"Correction, I was." He looked at me for a moment like a fish out of water.

"Holy fucking shit." Edward pulled out of me and sat back, his erection going limp. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

I was hoping it wasn't going to be a problem but clearly it was. Instead of answering him I grabbed his shirt off the floor and slipped it on as I made my way to my bedroom. After slamming the door I locked it and crawled into bed, feeling like shit.

He had been repulsed by me, no other reason he would have gone flaccid so quickly. For a fleeting moment I thought that he wouldn't care about things like that, whether or not I was a virgin. Granted, I wasn't an angel by any means.

There was something about Edward that made me want him. Though after what just happened I knew he didn't want me. Stupid bastard, treating me like shit again.

For some weird reason, despite everything that had gone down, I was really happy that Edward never got his orgasm. He shouldn't get off on my misery and pain.


	9. Chapter 9: Typical Edward

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Nine: Typical Edward**

When the alarm clock went off I was filled with dread. I would have to face Edward today and that was going to be awful. To be perfectly honest, I don't know why he freaked out like that. It was as though me being a virgin was a disgusting sin and out of all the one's he's committed taking someone's virginity was completely forbidden. Well too fucking late, he had taken mine now.

The house was eerily quiet when I scrambled downstairs. I wanted to get my breakfast as quick as possible then leave, meaning I would be spending the minimal amount of time with Edward. The kitchen was empty and so was the entire downstairs.

I gathered Edward was upstairs still getting ready so had my breakfast and then left. It wasn't until I got to the garage that I realised Edward had left early. His car was gone. It was a clear sign he didn't want to be anywhere near me.

Angry tears welled up in my eyes as I threw myself into my truck. I had fucked up big time last night by kissing him back and letting that lead on to 'sex'. I wouldn't class what we did as proper sex seeing as it lasted all of thirty seconds.

The school parking lot was pretty full when I finally pulled up so I had to park far back from the building. In a way that was a good thing. It allowed me time to calm and prep myself for what was bound to be a killer day.

Edward left the house early for one reason and that was to avoid me. Shit, it hurt to admit that. I hated how he had this power over me too. God, Edward was such a bastard.

As I made my way across the lot it felt like everyone knew what had happened. I wouldn't be surprised if Edward had told folk but I was praying he hadn't. Hopefully I was just being paranoid and thinking they knew when they didn't.

Alice greeted me in my first class, Art, with a smile and began walking me through her sketch book. It was really good and mine looked like something a three year old had scribbled together. She then showed me Edward's, that had been left in the room, and it was, like hers, amazing.

I knew I would have to see him during this double but I still wasn't prepared when he walked in the room. God the boy was pure sin. The perfect innocent looks and the pristine uniform made him appear to be as sweet as honey. Too bad he was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

The only thing that marred his appearance was the bruise and cut on the side of his head from my lacrosse stick. I hope it hurt.

Edward caught my eye very briefly then turned round to a group of students behind him. Three of the other girls in our class were following him. He was giving off his charming smile and making them weak at the knees. Including me and I wasn't even over there.

After all he's done to me you'd think I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him when in fact I didn't want to be away from him. I had officially turned into one of those girls you hear about. The ones that get hung up on one guy and let them use her all the time. Fucking pathetic, but I'm only calling myself that.

For the whole of the double I watched as Edward flirted and charmed the brain dead girls. He was hitting on all of them and if I didn't know any better I'd think he was arranging an orgy. It hurt to see how little I meant. I was just going to be a fuck, another conquest, a new notch on his bedpost.

Now what was I? Damaged goods.

"Bella, are you okay?" Alice asked, making me tear my eyes off of Edward and his harem.

"Yeah I'm fine Alice, why?"

"You look like you're in pain and you've been watching Edward this whole time." She gave me a worrying look and then leaned a little closer. "Has something happened?"

"Nope, nothing at all." I smiled at her and she chose to drop the subject. I knew she didn't buy what I had said but whatever, she wasn't bringing it up so I was off the hook for now.

When lunch came around I was ready to wallow in self pity over last night. I knew some guys liked to use girls for a quick fuck then never talk to them again but with Edward I didn't get why he A) stopped, and B) is now ignoring me seeing as we didn't fuck.

I was off in my thoughts that I didn't even notice someone walk over to my usually empty table.

"What's up with you?" I looked up to see Rose, tray in hand.

"Nothing." She laughed humourlessly and shook her head.

"I don't buy it." Rose took a seat opposite me and folded her arms over her chest, waiting for me to spill.

"It doesn't matter Rose, let's just leave it."

"I don't want to leave it. Something has happened. What did Fuckward do?"

"Seriously, why do you care? I thought you were sending me off to the gas chambers?'"

"I care because I know what they'll like."

"Yeah, well why don't you tell me how you know cause the way I see it they don't talk to you and they regard you as a common prostitute."

"Much like you."

"Maybe."

"I'll tell you some of my story if you tell me some of yours," Rose bargained.

"Now?"

"No, after school. Meet me in the car pack, follow me."

"And where will we be going?"

"Every Tuesday I go to Jasper's house. So we'll go there. Plus it would be better if he was around for this."

"Why, I don't know him? How can I trust him? After all, isn't he one of them?" Rose sighed and got up, walking away. She had left her tray so I figured she was coming back.

I watched her walk across the lunch hall and over to Edward's table. He was sitting with a girl on his lap, arms round his neck, with another next to him. Also on the table was his usual crowd of followers and then there was Alice. Rose approached Jasper from behind and leant over, whispering in his ear. He stood up immediately and they began making their way over as the others at his table, minus Alice, looked on in disgust.

"Bella isn't sure she can trust you," Rose declared, sitting back down. Jasper followed her example and sat down next to her.

Jasper laughed and leaned back in his chair and but his hands behind his head, pulling his shirt taut over his chest. Alice was certainly a lucky girl, he had a nice chest. It had nothing on Edward's though. Oh God, I had to stop thinking of him like that, especially now.

"Bella, may I call you Bella?" I nodded and he continued. "Bella, do you think I could be friends with Rose and lovers with Alice if I wasn't trustworthy?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Okay, let me rephrase. Alice would have my balls on a platter for me to eat if I told the guys about what we get up to behind closed doors. Rose would probably come at me with a shear and chop of my dick if I broke her trust. Would they still talk to me if I bragged and spilled?"

"No, probably not."

"Exactly. Look, I'm one of the more upstanding guys in that group. If you can trust anyone there, it's me."

"Leverage?"

"You want something on me?" I nodded and he thought about it for a second. "I don't think I have anything that's not already common knowledge. Though I will say, someone treats you bad; they'll get dealt with accordingly, in time."

"You part of some secret mob?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"More like a band of merry men."

"And who's Robin Hood?" Rose raised her eyebrows in Jasper's direction, clearly wanting to know the answer as well.

"That's not my secret to tell."

"Smart answer." So he was trustworthy, good to know.

"Are we done now?"

"Yeah, thanks." Rose hugged him and let Jasper return to Alice and his food. "We'll see you later."Jasper left, leaving us alone.

I really wanted to know about Rose's past but didn't want to tell her about last night. It was just so embarrassing and all I wanted to do was crawl in a whole.

Lunch seemed uneventful but then there was a scene when I was just about to leave. There was a bunch of guys eating at a table, all laughing together and then one of them swore loudly. The lot of them jumped back, stumbling over chairs and cursing.

Everyone looked over to see what the fuss was. Across me Rose smirked and shook her head, pleased in whatever was going on. I couldn't make out what was happening so asked Rose.

"The guy spitting on the table is Dan, he's on the football team, lacrosse team and is a straight A student. Sounds like an alright guy then?" I nodded and she continued. "His girlfriend is sitting over there-" Rose pointed over to a small blonde girl who was watching her boyfriend with interest. "-and if you get close to her you'll see the black eye he gave her two days ago."

I tried to focus on the girl more carefully but couldn't tell if she had been recently punched. I would try and find out later though. Rose turned back to Dan floundering about by his table.

"His food is filled with maggots." I looked down and my plate carefully and Rose just laughed. "Only his food, you don't need to worry about yours. Remember Jasper mentioning something about a band of merry men? Well this is it in action."

"This sort of thing happen often?"

"Yep. Robin Hood and his band of merry men strike again."

"So they pick their targets how?" I asked, wondering what the criterion was to fall victim to one of these attacks.

"Most of the time their targets are guys but sometimes a girl will get this lucky treatment. All of them have one thing in common; they've treated someone appallingly or have pushed the boundaries one too many times and need to be dealt with. Every student knows what this is, a warning sign which brands that person to tell the rest of us to stay away from them. Hell, it works."

"So she'll break up with him?" I nodded at Dan's girlfriend who was watching in shock but with recognition on her face.

"Probably not, but he'll know that others are aware of what he's done and will most likely stop."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then they take it up a notch and things get physical. Last guy that ignored their warning 'fell' down the stairs at a party drunk and cracked three ribs and broke his ankle." Rose air quoted the word fell telling me it was no accident.

I looked back over to the guy Dan who was looking at his plate carefully, like it had the cure for cancer written across it. He looked around paranoid then stormed out of the lunch hall.

"What's on the plate?" I figured Rose would know seeing as she knew so much about this from Jasper.

"It says 'Punch Me'. They had the plate specially made for this, or so I was told." Hell they planned it pretty good.

The students had already begun to talk about what had just happened when I grabbed my tray and put it away. There just never seemed to be a dull day here, that was for sure. Class was starting soon so I headed off for that room. To my surprise Dan's girlfriend, the one with the black eye, was in my class.

She passed me on her way to her seat and right enough, if you looked closer you could see how she'd tried to conceal the bruise, albeit not very well. The girl seemed really relieved now, like someone had done her a favour by ousting Dan's secret.

Turned out some of the students here weren't as bad as I thought they were, meaning Robin Hood and his merry men. Made me wonder if Edward was a part of that group, and if he was then he certainly just went up a few levels in my books, despite last night.

For the rest of the school day I thought about what I was going to say to Rose later on. I didn't know how to even phrase what we did last night. It was kinda like one big foreplay session and I was the only one to get any type of release.

When the bell rang and changed my books and then went out to the car park to meet Rose. I drove my truck down next to hers and got out to see what she had to say. Rose pushed herself off the bonnet of her car and walked over to me.

"Okay, just follow my car to his house. Jasper will be driving the same route but about ten minutes later so if you lose me wait for Jasper's car."

"How will I know it's his? What does he drive?"

"That." She pointed across the lot with a look of envy on her face. I followed the direction she was pointing and saw a black and silver car that Rose was drooling over.

"And what's that?"

"That's a 1967 Shelby Mustang GT500." It felt like that was meant to mean something but I had no idea. Whatever, it was a distinct car that I certainly wouldn't be able to miss.

"Okay, I can follow that if I get lost." She nodded and jumped in her car as I went to get back in my truck.

We drove from the school into town and as everyone else was driving home aswell I did lose her. Then I thought I saw Rose's car so went for that route only to end up in a dead end. The car that apparently was Rose's was in a driveway. Sighing I drove back down to the main street and pulled up on the side by the pavement.

It wasn't long before another car pulled over and parked behind mine. Jasper turned off his car and walked over to the passenger side of the truck. He opened the door and got in with me. I shot him a curious look, wondering what the hell he was doing.

"I was hoping you'd get lost, it gives me a chance to talk to." He turned in the seat to look at me. "Rose is going to tell you about her past. Don't ask questions and just listen. Don't interrupt her and don't give her pitying looks. Offer no sympathy, just take it in."

"Okay I can do that. But why?"

"It's been just four years since it happened and I've spent a lot of that time trying to get her back to how she was before it happened. Hell, I hate when we have to tell someone about her past as she coils up and pushes everyone away. I'm trying hard to stop that."

They were so close and I did wonder if they had ever been more than friends. It seemed plausible but then again maybe Alice wouldn't be so keen on Rose if Jasper and her had ever been something more. Whatever, I had to ask.

"Have you and Rose ever been more than friends?" Jasper bit his lip for a moment then nodded.

"Yeah…two years ago. She was terrified of guys, men in general. Every time I touched her hand or hugged her affectionately she would jump three feet in the air. She hated it and I hated it so we planned to rectify that. Over time things got a little more serious and we had a thing together." He shrugged and looked out the window uncomfortably.

"Who called it off?"

"Rose."

"Does Alice know?"

"Of course. It was one of the reasons she was so worried about how close we were. When we got together I told her I had previously been with Rose but there was nothing there. After a while she had to be let in on why we were so close. Rose will tell you that later."

"Alright. Thanks for that."

"No bother, if you stick to what I said you'll actually be doing me a favour, so thanks." Jasper hopped out my truck and returned to his car.

He kept his pace slow and made sure I could follow him home. This time I did actually manage to get there. Jasper's house was lovely, almost as nice as the Cullen's. I parked my car in the drive and walked up the path. Jasper was holding open the door for me and I was ushered inside.

Jasper surprised me by taking my hand and taking us up the stairs to his bedroom. It was decorated in a soft green colour with grey furniture and there was what looked like small bar built in to his room. I wouldn't be surprised.

Rose was sprawled across the bed with a glass in her hand; no doubt the drink filling it to the brim was alcoholic. Jasper sighed at her and crawled across the bed to lean against the headboard. Rose repositioned herself so she was sitting in between his legs with her back against his chest. He then wrapped one of his arms around her waist and used the other to take away her drink.

"So let's get this over and done with," Rose began, glaring at Jasper for his theft.

"Alright, you go first," I said, taking a seat in Jasper's leather desk chair.

"No, I think you should. I don't know how many details you're going to give me."

"Okay then," I squirmed around in the chair and sighed. "I got back after detention last night to him waiting for me at the door. He had made dinner for us and was using all his charm and good looks on me. Well it worked. What could only have been two hours later he had me on his bed naked."

"You fucked him?"

"No, not really." Jasper and Rose both frowned at me.

"What do you mean not really? You either fuck or you don't." I sighed again and pushed my hair away from my face.

"He freaked out and stopped the minute he entered me." I shrugged but from Jasper's calculating eye I could tell he knew why Edward stopped.

"You were a virgin."

"What?!" Rose said as though that was unbelievable.

"Don't act so surprised." She smirked and shrugged.

"Hell I just thought you would have made your way around the block, at least once."

"Yeah well I hadn't. Not until last night."

"With Edward," Jasper stated before sighing. "You didn't tell him you were a virgin, did you?"

"No, I didn't think it mattered. Though clearly I was wrong and he was repulsed by me."

"That's not why he stopped. Bella, Edward has never taken a girl's virginity before. He doesn't think he's worth something like that. According to him virgins have this certain untouched innocence that he refuses to corrupt. No doubt he made the same assumption as the rest of us and thought you weren't one. That would have been one hell of shock to his system."

"It looks as though he's taken it in his stride, what with those girls on either arm." Yes, I was jealous.

"That's because he's put himself back where he thinks he belongs. You're the innocent virgin that he's corrupted and as punishment for that he goes and joins the lowlifes in our school. Those girls spend their lives on their backs with their legs spread just waiting for a guy to come along. You had never opened your legs for anyone but then suddenly chose him. He's freaked and scared as shit. Granted I knew he was pissed off at himself for something, I just didn't think it would be for this."

"Edward likes to harm himself but does it so he never leaves a mark, at least not a visible one," Rose said, nestling down into Jasper's arms. She was probably getting more comfortable so she could tell her part now. "How's he treating you?"

"I don't think he's acknowledging my existence."

"Typical Edward. Fucks you, fucks up, and fucks off." I felt drained from this conversation and I think Jasper could tell it was taking its toll on me.

"Thank you for telling us that."

"Don't thank her, she wanted something in return," Rose piped in but was soothed almost instantly by the blond boy behind her. "Guess it's my turn now."

A sad smile crossed her face for a second and it made me feel a little guilty for making this trade. Then again, I'm sure she would have done the same if she wanted to know something.

"Freshman year, there was a house party. I was invited by quite a lot of guys and I knew why. There's no denying it, I'm beautiful but then I had another thing going for me, I was as innocent as the day I was born. But also naive. Anyway, I went, figured I'd probably make some friends and just have good time. Turned out to be the worst night I've ever had."

Jasper handed her the drink he took from her earlier and she gladly gulped half of it down before it was returned to the nightstand.

"Royce was there and for some reason he was the big hot shot at school. Even the seniors looked up to him for Christ sake and he was only a sophomore. Whatever, Royce told me that one of his friends wanted to speak to me upstairs. I didn't think anything of it so went and he led me into a bedroom at the end of the hall."

I watched as Jasper pulled her closer to him and planted his head in the crook of her neck. If I didn't know he was dating Alice I would seriously think he was madly in love with Rose from the way he acted with her.

"The bedroom was pitch black but before I had a chance to say anything Royce had locked the door and was on me in seconds, his tongue rammed down my throat. I couldn't fight back but I tried even though I realised it was useless after a while. I thought if I kept fighting he'd give up the effort and go but he never did. Instead he tore my clothes off me, scratched, bit and bruised my body then raped me, twice. Once on top and the other from behind."

My breathing was getting a little laboured just listening to her story. Now Rose's cold and bitchiness fell into place perfectly. He had made her this way when he took her by force.

"Afterwards he buckled himself up and just walked out. Jasper walked in right after him and I thought he was coming for his turn." As she said this she gently caressed his cheek. "He stayed with me for three hours, gave me his shirt and boxers to wear as my clothes were ruined then took me out for some breakfast at 3am to the diner on the outskirts of town. He helped me pick up the pieces and for that I was thankful for. Everyone else thought I was whore cause of Royce's girlfriend."

She downed the rest of her drink and leant back into Jasper's chest. He was holding her so tenderly it looked very intimate. Rose kissed his cheek softly and shut her eyes, just trying to be content.

"That's it," she said and I took that as my cue to leave.

Half way down the stairs Jasper fell in step with me. He hugged me at the door and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, that was much easier than what it could have been."

"Can I ask you two questions?" He thought about it for a moment but finally nodded. "Was Rose's rape reported?"

"Yes but in Seattle, not here. If she ever gets the courage to talk it's there. He wore a condom but they did get a sample of his DNA from under her fingernails. If he gets a criminal record or put on the system for whatever reason, it'll come up. I'm just praying for that day to come. Next question."

"Do you still love her?"

"Of course, she's my best friend."

"Fine, let me rephrase. Do you love her as more than a friend?" Jasper looked at me for a few moments before answering.

"Yes I do and before you say anything, Alice knows that."

"And she's not pissed at Rose for that?"

"Under these circumstances no she's not. Rose and I aren't like that and won't ever be like that again. It was a short lived relationship due to the reasons why it started up in the first place. I love her very much as a friend but a small part of me still loves her as my girlfriend. Alice is aware but knows I'd never cheat or lie to her if something happened. Plus, the part of me that loves Alice that way is many times bigger than the part of me that loves Rose." I nodded and stepped out onto the path leading up to the house.

"Thanks for being honest, didn't expect that from you really."

"We're not all scum at our school Bella. Just give it time and you'll see we actually do have hearts, and redeeming qualities. Goodnight."

"Night."

I got in my truck and drove home feeling exhausted from that. My heart went out to Rose who, although was a pain in the ass, had her reasons. I wouldn't bring it up or act pitying towards her in anyway. That didn't mean I wasn't going to feel sorry for her behind closed doors.

No wonder Jasper was so close to her. Hell, he walked in right after she had been raped, that's going to be something he'll never forget. How Jasper could even stand to be around Royce after that is beyond me aswell. The boy certainly had amazing restraint.

On the journey back to the house I thought over what Jasper had said about Edward and his theory on virgins. Yeah that would probably explain the way he acted but it didn't make me feel any better. Especially not with the way Edward was now treating me.

When I parked in the garage I was hoping that Edward would finally acknowledge me. A small part of me had faith but I was trying not to get my hopes up. The house was warm and I could hear the sound of a television which told me he was home.

I went into the kitchen and saw Edward eating his dinner and watching the sports channel. He looked at me very briefly, as I had stopped in the doorframe, unsure how to act. Before I knew it Edward had turned off the television and grabbed his plate, pushed past me and made his way up the stairs.

I wasn't even good enough to be in the same room as him now. Self punishment my ass. No, this was just typical Edward, like Rose said, fucks you, fucks up and fucks off.


	10. Chapter 10: Honeymoon's Over

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Ten: Honeymoon's Over**

Seeing as Edward was a complete tool yesterday I didn't expect him to talk to me at all. Which was good as he didn't. For three days Edward ignored me at home and at school. He kept himself firmly away from me.

As if I didn't already know it was a mistake to 'fuck' him he kept reminding me about it by staying away. Before it happened we had an unusual relationship but there still was one, what with his flirting and our fighting. I miss that though I don't really know why. Heck, I think I just missed him.

Thankfully I wasn't completely alone. Jasper and Alice were a lot nicer to me now. Rose hadn't come to school since we had that chat at Jasper's house but according to him that's normal. Right after she told Alice Rose spent two weeks at home, drinking, sleeping and keeping to herself. The only person who saw her in that time was Jasper and he managed to bring her out of the whole she had fallen in.

Hearing that this is what she does every time that story is told I felt guilty as shit. Jasper didn't seem fazed by it though and told me not to worry. So I tried to push that to the back of my mind along with all the Edward stuff.

Our parents weren't coming home for another three days and as though that wasn't enough time Edward decided to make the most of it. He held parties each night, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Jasper, Alice, and Emmett weren't invited so I had no one to talk to at these things. Due to that I had to stay in my room.

I spent those evenings fixing up my room until I was finally happy with it and revising schoolwork. I was five weeks in front of most of my classes and for Art I had done more than enough work on it to get me a B at least for that last assignment. Alice had shown me her and Edward's drawings so I knew the theme and I jumped onto that right after.

I drew a landscape picture of a group of villagers, round a campfire and from the looks of things they were celebrating. At the edge of the picture I drew a small child watching on, wanting to get involved but not being able to as the villagers dogs were stopping her.

It seemed rather fitting given my circumstances.

The weekends just enforced my loneliness here, what with Edward having parties in the house and me having no one to talk to. Surprisingly that did change late on Saturday night. Edward's party was in full swing and I had already done all my work and was getting bored. There was nowhere for me to go though, seeing as they had the rest of the house. Then I had a visitor.

Alice knocked on my door and at first I thought it was a drunken couple looking for a bedroom to romp in I didn't answer. Then she knocked again and again so I finally got up off my bed to scream abuse at who was bothering me.

"Hey Bella," Alice chimed and strolled into my room.

I shut the door behind her and locked it, not wanting an actual drunk couple to think they could get lucky in here, that would just ruin my night. Alice hopped up onto my desk and sat crossed legged on their as I went back to the bed.

"Hey, what can I do for you?"

"Well I heard Edward was having all these parties and I knew you wouldn't be invited to go down and join so I thought I come and see you."

"I take it you weren't invited to this party either?"

"Nope. He clearly doesn't want you there and he knows if we're there we'll get you down to join us," she started playing with her bracelets and looking round my room. "Jasper told me that Rose let you in on her past."

"Yeah."

"I thought as much. How did that go for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"She yelled bloody murder at me when I was told."

"Oh, she didn't do that to me. But then again Jasper told me just to listen and not ask questions. I think that probably helped."

"Yeah, Jasper's good like that." Her eyes glazed over, she was clearly of her boyfriend.

"How do you not want to slit Rose's throat?" I asked bluntly, needing to know about the self control she had.

"Because she's one of my best friends and I love her."

"But your boyfriend also loves her," I pointed out. Alice shrugged, not thinking much of it.

"Yeah he does but he loves me more and still, Jasper wouldn't cheat."

"How do you know? His friends, hell your friends aren't that decent."

"I know but Jasper's different. Do you know that if James or Felix had walked into the room that night they probably would have raped Rose repeatedly. Seriously, they would have thought it was open season for them."

"What about Emmett or Edward, what would they have done?"

"Emmett would have freaked, shut the door and gone to get someone else; ironically he most likely would have got Royce. Edward, I think he would have done the same as Jasper. He would have stayed with her and tried to talk things out."

"Who do you wish had walked into that room?"

"Edward."

That answered it all for me. Although Alice didn't have a problem with Jasper and Rose's friendship she would have preferred them not to have the romantic background. It definitely makes me wonder if Edward had been the one to find Rose and they became as close as her and Jasper, would the two still be together.

If anyone had a chance of breaking Edward's attitude it would be Rose. Hell they would make one powerful couple. Both of them were impressively beautiful and had the same don't-fuck-with-me attitude.

"So, do you want to tell me why Edward is avoiding you like the plague?" Alice asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

Alice had been a good friend this week so I decided to let her know what happened. She was one of Edward's closest friends and relayed the same story Jasper had told me about Edward not wanting to corrupt virgins.

Talking to her was easier than talking to Rose and Jasper. For starters, she didn't seem surprised that I was a virgin, which went well over with me. And Alice listened when I needed her to and spoke at all the right times. It felt like she understood me a little better and I got to know her more aswell. It was like we actually became friends and it was the boost I needed.

When Sunday rolled around the house was spotless and the parentals were due back around one. Like most of my time in the house I stayed in my room and waited for their arrival. I could hear Edward moving about but I didn't know what he was doing and I knew if I went down he would just stop completely. I really shouldn't have to feel like this in what was meant to be my 'home'.

"Edward, Bella, we're back!" Renee called the second she had the door open.

I grudgingly put my book down and headed down stairs. Edward was hugging Renee and shaking hands with Carlisle when I got down which surprised me. I didn't think he'd ever touch my mother.

"Oh Bells, honey I missed you," my mother cooed, wrapping her arms around me.

"I missed you too mum. How was the honeymoon?" I honestly didn't want to know but it would be rude of me not to ask.

"It was great. The island is beautiful. I told Carlisle that we should all go there for a holiday next time schools out. How does that sound?"

"Great." God it would be awful.

"Let's go on through next door," Carlisle said, ushering us into the living room. Edward sprawled himself out on one of the couches as our parents sat together on another. I sat down in one of the free chairs and kept my eyes glued on my lap and not on the God lying out across from me.

"What did you two get up to? I saw the truck out there, do you like it Bella?"

"Yes thank you Carlisle. I love my truck."

"Really? I'm surprised; I thought you would want something a little sleeker and fancier. If you do just ask and we can get you a Ferrari or Porsche, it's up to you."

"No I'm really happy with it but thanks." They would not be taking my truck away from me; it was my only option for escape.

"Good, I'm glad we could get that for you, aren't we Edward?" His son just nodded glumly, not caring either way.

"So have you two had a chance to bond as brother and sister now?"

"We're not brother and sister. We're step-siblings," Edward said, sounding angry. "But yes we have bonded brilliantly and we're closer than ever." He added a smile just to prove his point. What a lying bastard.

I felt like saying: 'Yes we bonded. In fact Edward made me cum on the very couch you're sitting on and a few nights ago he took my virginity. Edward also happens to be a lick out God so well done Carlisle; you've raised a sex God of a son.'

"And Bella?

"Oh yeah everything's been great." The orgasms make up for his shitting attitude.

"Wonderful. I knew we would all be getting along perfectly." Carlisle kissed my mother and then she went upstairs to unpack.

I began to make my way upstairs when Carlisle called me back and asked me to join him in his study. I nodded, not sure what he wanted and followed him. I hadn't been in his study before so had a good look around.

One wall was made of glass, looking out to the side of the house, and another was a wall of books. God if I knew they were there I would never have been bored during Edward's parties. There was a vast desk taking up a majority of the room that had books and papers neatly piled on it along with a desktop for Carlisle to use.

"Please take a seat Bella." I did as I was told and sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desks. "I wanted to give you this before I left but didn't get the chance." Carlisle handed me a credit card. "I want you to use this for whatever you need."

"I can't accept this, I really won't use it."

"Bella just take it, it doesn't matter if you use it or not. Just have it for safety or whatnot." He wasn't going to take it back so I nodded and held onto it.

"Thanks I guess."

"You're welcome. Look Bella I want you to know that to me you are my daughter now. I will never replace your father in any way but I do think of you as part of the family. In fact I wanted to ask you something, you can say no but I would like you to at least consider it."

"What's that?"

"Renee and I thought it would be a good idea for you to change your name to Cullen." I felt like I had been thrown into freezing water. Thanks for the fucking warning Renee. Geez she really had no clue.

"Excuse me?"

"We would like you to be Isabella Cullen, become part of the family by name. I know that you'll need time to think this over so take as long as you want. Come and tell me when you've decided."

"Thank you." I was honoured that he'd extend this courtesy to me and want to give me his last name. I could never take it though.

It wasn't that I didn't want Carlisle to be my father, more that I couldn't be Miss Cullen. How weird is that? Especially since I had made out with a Mr Cullen and he had gotten me off. That just sounded wrong. Any newcomers to Forks, who found out about what Edward and I had done, would think it was incest, all because I was Miss Cullen and he was Mr Cullen.

"Thank you Bella, for joining my family, even if you don't want to change your name."

"What do I call you?" I asked, unsure how he wanted to be known as to me.

"You can call me Carlisle or if you feel want dad, father or something similar. It's up to you."

"Okay." He smiled at me and stood up from behind his desk.

"Is it possible I could give you a hug?" I nodded and walked over to him.

Carlisle wrapped his arms round me and kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you Bella. I always wanted a daughter and if I had had one I'd hope she was like you. Regardless, you now are my daughter." He stepped back and smiled, opening the door of his office. "I have to go to work, but I'll see you later."

"Yeah." He had really made me feel welcome, as though I was wanted here by someone. It definitely made up for his sons hostile attitude to me.

Carlisle left and Renee was still upstairs. I went to the kitchen to get a drink but this time when I entered Edward didn't leave. He was leaning against the countertop glaring at me. I made no effort to talk to him as he would probably spew crap back at me.

"So Miss Cullen, welcome to the family," Edward spat at me. "I see you warming up to my father, being the perfect little daddy's girl. You do with all of them? Worm your way into their hearts for their money?"

"You know what Edward; I can't take your shit anymore. Don't speak to me unless you have something nice to say otherwise just stay the fuck away from me." He looked at me in surprise and then stormed out of the room.

I got the drink I came in here to get and then went upstairs. Maybe now Edward would let up on me. Granted, I didn't like him ignoring me but I'd rather have him do that than yell abuse my way. It was like he didn't like the change taking over his family and was going to target all that anger on me when I hadn't done anything.

At least I knew I wouldn't be alone now. Alice, Jasper and Rose were gradually becoming my friends and with Carlisle's support at home I might have a chance of not feeling like the outcast Edward has set me on being. Things were actually looking up, despite one boy's protests.

A week passed with no run ins with Edward. He took my advice and didn't say anything unless it was nice, meaning he never spoke to me, and he just stayed out of my way. It was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders without the stress from him.

Sunday rolled round much faster than I thought it would have. I got up early so I could change my sheets and do my washing but when I went downstairs I ended up cooking breakfast with Carlisle.

I had put the laundry in the basket by the utilities room and came back out to see Carlisle holding a frying pan with an assortment of foods on the counter.

"Morning Bella, I didn't expect to see you up."

"Morning, I just wanted to get a jump start on things so I could have the rest of the day free."

"Fair enough. Would you like to help cook breakfast with me?"

"Eh…sure. Where's Renee?" He hunted out another apron for me to keep my clothes clean of the splatter from cooking, even though I was just wearing pyjamas.

"She's at yoga class but even if she was here I wouldn't ask her to cook." Carlisle took out the eggs and some oil for the pan while it heated up.

"You've had her cooking then?" He chuckled, much like Edward does, and nodded.

"Yes, on our honeymoon she attempted to make me lunch, obviously that didn't go well." I smirked and shook my head, knowing Renee cooking would be dreadful. "So how's your cooking?"

"Pretty good I think." He smiled at me and then we began to get things going.

Carlisle manned the frying pan while I used the grill to make toast seeing as I had broke their last toaster. Carlisle wasn't bothered at all about that and actually laughed when I told him the story. After I did the toast Carlisle had me plating the food up. He had cooked bacon, three different types of eggs, sausages and a bunch of other things.

He then went upstairs to fetch Edward. I grabbed some glasses out of the cupboard and then got the juice cartons from the fridge. We were going to be eating at the dining room table as a family for a change so I put it all through there.

"Hey honey. Smells good, I'll be right back," Renee said as she came into the house. She nipped away to dump her stuff upstairs.

"Edward let's talk in the office," I heard Carlisle say as the two of them walked down the stairs.

I watched as Edward went into Carlisle's office dressed in pyjama pants and a t-shirt with Carlisle going in behind him. The door was shut but I could still hear their voices as Carlisle was yelling, that surprised me as I never thought he'd yell.

It was wrong of me to try and eavesdrop but I couldn't help it, not when it was so loud.

"Christ Edward what's wrong with you?! I feel like I don't know you anymore."

"You don't know me."

"Well whose fault is that?"

"Yours! You're so hung up on that gold-digging floozy that you don't care or listen to me."

"Do not refer to Renee like that. She's your step-mother and you will give her some respect!" Carlisle roared.

"Fuck respect, she doesn't deserve any," Edward said, not bothered by his father's anger.

"Watch your mouth Edward Anthony Cullen, you are pushing your luck and I won't have it anymore!"

"What are you going to do, seriously? I don't have to like her or respect her, she's not my mother."

"Oh I know that, there's no confusion there. But if you want your mother in your life so much then you can go and live with her in L.A."

"Why should I have to leave my home? They should be thrown out."

"No that's where you're mistaken. They live here too. This is their house aswell and you will not make them feeling uncomfortable or guilty living here."

"I don't do that."

"Yes you do. Did you think I wouldn't notice Bella's change of attitude from when we left? At least then she made a small smile and was getting comfortable here. We come back and it's clear you've messed with her head!"

There was silence from the other side of the door. I wasn't sure if Edward was just talking really quietly or what. Carlisle continued though, like nothing had been said so I don't think Edward denied the fact that he had been fucking with my head.

"When are you going to realise they are family. Renee is your step-mother and Bella is your step-sister. That means you treat them how you would your mother and if you had one, your sister." I cringed at that. Carlisle just made me feel worse about coming undone at Edward's hands and tongue. God, it felt like incest now.

"They're not though," Edward said, not yelling.

"To me they are. To me Renee is the mother in this household, I'm the father and Bella is our daughter."

"What does that make me, the screw up?"

"In some instances yes Edward you are the screw up but you're also my…our son and therefore Bella's brother."

It was silent for another few minutes. Carlisle must have been looking for a response.

"I might be able to think of Renee as my _step_-mother in time but there's no way Bella will ever be regarded as a sister, step or not. I just don't think of her that way," He said, emphasising the step-mother bit to make his point.

Carlisle remained silent now and their little game of whose turn is it to be quiet next was pissing me off. I wanted to know what was going on. I could only think that Carlisle was going over what Edward had said in his head, trying to read into it.

"Don't. You. Dare," I heard Carlisle growl out at his son. That took me back instantly. Had Edward done or said something else? Christ sake why the fuck was I not in this room?!

"I mean it Edward," He continued. "Keep your hands to yourself and your dick in your pants. If I find out that you've been anywhere near Bella like that you're out of here on the first flight to L.A. I will not have you ruining my marriage." Edward laughed though I didn't know what was funny.

"Me ruining your marriage, get a grip. I think you'll be able to fuck it up with your working hours and lack of emotions all the time. Either that or your current wife will file for divorce for your money. After all, once a gold digger always a gold digger, right?" He had some balls to say that to his father.

"Get out. Go back upstairs and stay there." Carlisle's voice was quiet but the anger and rage was present.

I didn't hang around the door to hear anymore as Edward could have been opening it any minute. There was no way I was getting caught listening in.

The dining room was still empty when I returned and I wondered where Renee had gone off too. She did say she'd be right back. Right back my arse. I took the cooked food back next door and heated it all up for everyone. No point it all going to waste.

"Edward's not feeling well and won't be joining us," Carlisle said, smiling at me with his arm round my mother when I returned. "Shall we eat?" I nodded and took my seat, passing them the plate of now hot food.

Even though Edward was a complete prat half the time I did feel a little sorry for him. I don't know what the full story was with his mother but he clearly didn't want to go and live with her. His friends were here and so was his life. It became more apparent that no one else could find out about what we had gotten up to while they were away. Despite the fact I didn't like him I would make sure no one told.

Did I still care for Edward? Yes. Why? I have no fucking clue.


	11. Chapter 11: Hormones

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Eleven: Hormones**

I had fallen into a routine at school I was quite happy with and didn't want to change. Things were finally looking up now without Edward on my back all the time. Though I knew that wasn't going to last forever. Hopefully I'd just see the sweet Edward rather than the prick Edward.

In the meantime I was enjoying what I had away from him. We no longer glared at each other in the house or in the school hallways, but rather ignored each other completely. And it worked; I was Edward free and happy. But my time ran out before I knew it.

"Bella, you'll never guess what," Alice declared, coming over with her tray and dragging Jasper with her. The couple took a seat before she decided to fill me in on what was happening. "You need to look at this." She prodded Jasper and he handed me a piece of folded paper. God please not another bitchy note.

"What's this?"

"Edward wrote to me in French. Check it out."

I opened up the paper fully and was surprised to see it jam packed with their ramblings. One of them had been writing in pink, so that had to be Alice, while the other was writing in black. I could tell from the scrawl alone who wrote what.

_Alice, I was wondering if you'd be able to tell me about Bella. _**Why? After what you did to her I don't think I should. **_She told you about that? _**Of course she did. We're friends. **_Right, okay. Well…I…feel like a prick for the way I treated her and don't want it to continue like that. _**Then stop acting like a prick. **_Please be serious here, I'm coming to you for help. How often do I do that? _**Not very often. **_Exactly. _**Alright, fine. What do you want to know? **_How can I make it all up to her? _**You won't be able to. Though you should apologise for running away after taking her virginity. **_I didn't run away, she did. _**Whatever, just apologise for that night. You shouldn't have freaked out anyway. **_You know why I did. _**I do but that doesn't matter, you hurt Bella. **_I'm aware of that and I'm trying to make it up to her. I want us to be friends at least. _**At least? **_Yes at least. _**Don't play coy with me Edward, you like her don't you? **_If I didn't would I be talking to you about this? _**So you do like her! Oh that's great. You two would be an amazing couple. **_I think you're wrong about that. She'd have my balls for breakfast. _**Just what you need, a girl who doesn't take your shit. **_She certainly does that. Now come on, how do I get back on her good side? _**I honestly don't know Edward. I just think that maybe you should start acting sweet or nice to her and she may warm up to you gradually. Of course at first she'll want to know what you want and never trust you. **_I expect that but won't it take too long for her to even give me a chance? _**What's the rush? **_My father, he's going to send me to my mother's if I don't improve my attitude and relationship with Bella. _**Is that the only reason you're doing this?! If it is Edward I'll skin you in the lunch hall for all to watch. **_Calm down there munchkin. No that's not the only reason I'm doing this. Fuck…I can't get her out of my mind and it's driving me insane. I thought after we had sex she'd be out of my system but she's not. Before you jump the gun again I'm not doing this just to sleep with her. I think I actually might like her. _**That's definitely something new. **_I know. _**God Edward we might just be able to make something of you yet. **

I finished reading and I didn't know how to take this. Obviously I didn't trust him and I do think he's got some other motive to this but what it is I don't know. Only time would tell on that one. Plus he may not actually go through with this, acting nice to me and all, so I could be over thinking this entirely.

"Aw hell he got to you too?" Rose asked, planting her food down next to mine.

"What?" I asked, being pulled from my thoughts.

"Alice, he asked you about Bella?" Alice nodded and took the note from me to show her. "Wow you were actually a lot nicer than I was."

"I'll bet. You still got yours?" Rose nodded and handed her the sheet. Alice burst out laughing and slid it over to me. "Very like you Rose."

_Rose, I wanted to ask you about Bella. How do I get back on her good side? _**You stay the fuck away from her that's how. If I find out you're playing your games and tricks with her then you'll lose your dick and balls. Don't fuck with her Cullen; she's much better than the likes of you. **_Thank you for that advice, I'll keep it in mind. Now, hike up that skirt and get back to your corner, your pimp will want his cash today. _

His attitude towards Rose just made me angry. Why did he have to be such an asshole to others, especially Rose? I doubt he would be such a bastard to her if he knew about what happened with her and Royce. No, Edward would be grovelling to make it up to her. Makes me wonder why she doesn't just tell him.

"God Alice why would you help him out?" Rose asked, jabbing a piece of chicken with her fork.

"Because for once I think he's actually being sincere and he might like Bella. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt purely because this could be the best thing he's ever decided to do, go after a girl that doesn't like him."

"Well I think it'll end in disaster."

"There's a surprise," Alice muttered sarcastically. "Look Bella I just want you to give Edward a chance. The boy has done a lot of stupid things and has said a bunch of awful things but I honestly think this is him righting his wrongs." Rose snorted and shook her head as Jasper watched on composed.

"Well I think he's full of it and has another motive," Rose said, shaking her head at Alice.

"Are you really willing to turn your back on love?"Alice asked me, which caused Rose and Jasper to burst out laughing. She turned to her boyfriend first and gave him a pointed look to explain himself.

"Sorry darlin but Edward's not in love. Hell I don't even think he has that emotion. Edward in love is just not possible." He rubbed her shoulder gently, most likely hoping she'd turn her wrath on Rose.

"He might not be in love right now but given time I'm certain he could fall for Bella."

"Yeah I think that too," Rose piped up, shocking the hell out of us all. "However, it would take him several years just to get his head out of his arse and then another ten or so to actually realise he can fall in love. Don't waste your time Bella, waiting for some pussy-boy."

"Aren't all boys pussy-boys?" Alice asked, shooting Rose a curious glance. "I mean they're boys and they like-"

"What do I do about Edward?" I asked, not letting her finish her sentence or train of thought. I really didn't want to be talking about that over lunch.

"Ignore the bastard," Rose said, nodding at me.

"Give him a chance," Alice said. Neither of them helped me so I turned to Jasper for his opinion on this matter.

"Well?" I asked. He sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know, it's up to you really. Just remember though this is Edward you're dealing with. He can act all sweet and caring one minute but then return to his true self, the prick. He'll think with his dick most of the time and hell, even if he is genuine about liking you it's still a risky thing. You could like him a lot more than he likes you and giving him the power to break you will almost definitely result in pain and misery. He's just a dick like that." Jasper shrugged at me. "But it's your decision. Do what you want."

Alice rolled her eyes at him and took a bite of her food as Rose patted Jasper on the arm for his words of wisdom, thinking that she had one this round. They began to talk amongst themselves as I thought over everything again. I hated the confusion, that's for sure.

Like usual I pushed all those thoughts to the back of mind. I would handle the Edward situation when it arose and not a second before that. At the moment I'd still to decide whether or not to give him a chance but that all depended on his attitude. Any or his snarky rude comments then he can just fuck right off, I won't take them.

The bell rang, signalling the end of lunch, and we all began to make a move. Alice kissed Jasper goodbye and went off in the other direction to her class. Rose, Jasper and I walked along the corridor, all going to the same area.

I went into my biology class, wondering what treatment I would get from Edward. Our table at the back was still empty so I took my seat and waited for him to arrive. Class started and Edward hadn't turned up. I thought I was going to be sitting alone but then he came in, apologising for being late as his hand tucked in his shirt.

Now seeing as I live with him I know that Edward's uniform is always immaculate no matter what. So, he must have been up to no good. I figured it would have been a girl and planned on finding out.

He sat down and got out his books, trying to take in what he had missed. I waited until he was caught up before distracting him.

"You have lipstick on your neck," I said, eyeing an area below his ear. Edward's hand shot up and brushed it quickly causing me to laugh quietly, so I didn't get caught. "I was kidding."

He blushed a light pink and shook his head glaring. Curiosity had me peeked and I leant closer to him allowing me to get away with whispering.

"Who is she?"

"No one."

"Liar." He grinned and shook his head.

"Seriously, she's no one."

"Right," I said, not believing him one bit.

"Fine, she's just a girl that likes me. I don't like her back."

"Then you shouldn't kiss her."

"Hormones." He shrugged as though that was a good enough excuse.

I turned his head when the teacher's back was to us and pulled his lips to mine. I slipped my tongue into his mouth as he stayed completely motionless. A few seconds later I pulled back and started jotting down the new notes. Edward was still frozen in place.

"Mr Cullen, are you alright?" His head whipped round to the front and he nodded, catching up with reality. He grabbed his pen and wrote most of the notes down then turned to me.

"What the fuck was that?!" he whispered harshly.

"Hormones," I said, shrugging. Edward sent me a glare but then began chuckling.

I tuned him out after that and scooted back over. I'd like to say it was because I had lost interest in him but that just wasn't the case. Even though Edward hadn't kissed back my body remembered his kiss the first night we met and all the glorious things he's done to me with his tongue and fingers. I was wet and horny for the bastard and he'd done nothing.

Edward didn't say or do anything else the rest of the lesson, to which I was thankful for, and that allowed me to calm myself down. Hell, he was still an asshole. I had to keep reminding myself of that fact.

That was actually the first conversation we had had since we were both naked and on his bed. God that surprised me. I assumed the first conversation we'd have would be filled with yelling and abuse, not something that led to me kissing him.

Did I just show how pathetic I was for him? Yes.

Fucking great.

For the rest of the day I avoided Edward like the plague. When we were at home I kept myself away from him, in fear I'd jump his bones, and by the time ten o'clock came around I was beat. I just wanted to sleep and hope these weird thoughts for Edward died away.

Alas that was not the case. I ended up having a sex dream about him. I really couldn't catch a break. Edward was consuming my every thought and action. I found myself doing my hair and certain way and checking how I looked in the mirror, which was something I just didn't do. Either I wanted to look good for Edward or Alice was rubbing off on me. I was hoping it was the latter.

I trudged into school and met up with Jasper and Rose by the doors. Alice was in the art department, trying to convince the teacher to take us on a trip. The three of us wandered in but didn't get far before seeing a crowd of students all taking interest in something, or rather someone. Edward.

"What's happened to Edward's locker?" I asked Rose and Jasper when I caught a look. They both turned and started sniggering like little thieves who had gotten away with the gold. "Will at least one of you explain?"

"It's a warning shot of sorts," Jasper said, looking at Edward's confused face.

"Remember Dan?" I nodded at Rose's question. "Well there are levels of warning shots. Dan's was one of the highest levels due to the severity of what he was doing. That-" she said pointing at Edward "-is a low level warning shot. Both are as bad as each other. If Edward ignores that, then he'll get the physical treatment for punishment."

"What did he do?"

"Isn't that obvious?" They both asked together. I shook my head at them and turned back to see how Edward was taking it.

His locker, which was originally dark blue, had been spray painted black with a small white angel on it. The angel had red tears coming from her eyes, which I guess was meant to be blood, and broken wings. There was an allegory in there somewhere; I just didn't get what it was. The angel was painted with so much detail and care that it wasn't a slap together job. This was an important warning and held important meaning to those who gave it out.

Edward looked at the angel for a few more seconds before glancing around at the crowd watching. He then unlocked it, like nothing had happened, and hunted out his books. There was just something about him that looked so sad and I just wanted to run over and hug him. Though, that would be bloody foolish.

God, yesterday I kiss him, now I want to hug him. What's next, a quickie in the janitor's closet?

Sighing I walked on from the crowd now inspecting Edward's locker. I didn't want to know what he had done to deserve that but I did hope he took it seriously. I would hate for him to be beaten to a bloody pulp. They could mar his beautiful face.

Lessons went by oh so slowly and I felt like I was stuck in time, the clock not moving forward at all. My brain was just so tired that when it came to doing anything I ended up taking a longer and usual and making it late to the next class.

After sixth period I realised I'd left the rest of my books in the classroom so went back. Some twat had come in and tidied the place up which meant I had to hunt for the bloody things. They were in a walk in book cupboard at the side.

As I was in there I heard two people walk in and shut the door, I was about to walk out of the cupboard to let them know I was there but when they started talking I shut up immediately.

"You gave me a fucking warning!" Edward yelled at Jasper.

"I didn't do shit."

"Then one of your merry men did."

"Actually Robin Hood decided this one." Jasper pointed out, sounding bored with the conversation already.

"I don't care who. I want to know why?"

"Surely you understood the meaning?"

"Yes I did but I want to know why the fuck I'm getting a warning when I was already trying."

"I don't know all the details of this Edward but what I do know is that what you did was fucking low. Corruption."

"Fucking hell Jasper, I know that! Don't you realise I feel shit about that?"

"I do but it wasn't enough. You corrupted then abandoned."

"I didn't leave, she did." This sounded all too familiar and I was praying to God they weren't discussing what I thought they were.

"Yeah well you ignored her after that when you should have been apologising for your behaviour."

"I've heard all this from Alice."

"Then why haven't you apologised?"

"Do you think it's that easy? If I went up to Bella and said 'Hey, sorry about the night I took your virginity, it just surprised me cause I didn't think you were one. You know, you give off the impression you've fucked a few guys, so sorry about that' she'd slap me round the head and then some."

"Good."

"Screw you."

"Please Edward, stop being melodramatic. Apologise and mean it. Don't fuck with her cause she's got more loyal friends than you right now."

"Jasper I've fucked up worse in the past and never received a warning, why now?"

"Because she is too good for your shit and if you actually like her then you'll treat her right. If we so much as hear you've called her an offensive name or been derogatory then the rule books out the window, you're a goner."

"That another warning?"

"No, just some friendly advice." One of them walked over to the door but I didn't hear it open. "Seriously, don't hurt her."

"And what if she hurts me?"

"Then good on her. Got to be hard to break the heart of the heartless man."

Jasper walked out the room after that and I was stuck in hiding with Edward only a few feet away. It wasn't long though before he left too, giving me a chance to sneak out of the cupboard and go on my way to class.

Their conversation was ringing through my head and I didn't know what to think about it. I was sad that Edward might get punished for doing what he did but then the anger from that night came back with vengeance and I was happy me could get the shit beaten out of him.

Only one thing was for sure, I needed to get my feelings for Edward straightened out. None of this half ass bullshit about liking him one minute and hating him the next. I needed to make my mind up regardless of what he was doing. That could take some time though.


	12. Chapter 12: Let's Just Try

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Twelve: Let's Just Try**

Saturday, first day of the weekend, should be spent either going out or doing school work so there's none to do tomorrow. My Saturday was going to be different however. I had gotten up and started to clean my room as I had let the tidiness slide over the past few days, then went downstairs, still in my pyjamas, for breakfast.

Carlisle and Renee were in the kitchen acting all lovey-dovey in one corner while Edward was sitting at the table, having his butter and toast. They all greeted me when I entered, and then I went over to the fridge to get some juice.

There was toast on the table along with some plates so I just took my juice and sat down next to Edward where the clean cutlery was laid out. He gave me a soft smile and continued eating, keeping his eyes on his plate and not on our parents kissing.

"We're going to hold a dinner this evening, as a get together. So invite your friends and we'll invite their parents," Carlisle said, smiling at the both of us over the table.

"Okay." Edward nodded and turned to me. "Jasper, Alice, Emmett?"

"And Rose," I added. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Do we have to invite the prostitute?"

"She's not a prostitute and yes we do. She's my friend."

"Fine," he huffed, ramming some toast in his mouth.

"Don't be such a baby," I said, patting his knee.

Edward smiled at me and placed his hand on top of mine in what I thought was a sweet gesture. But no, it was Edward so he slid my hand up to his crotch. I immediately slapped his chest and glared at him.

"What?" Edward asked innocently.

"You're a pig."

"What did Edward do honey?" I looked up; forgetting Renee and Carlisle were there. They didn't see the interaction under the table.

"Nothing."

"Then don't be so rude." I was scolded to which I rolled my eyes at.

I'm pretty sure if I answered honestly: 'Edward put my hand on his cock' they would throw a hissy fit. He should have been the one getting in trouble, not me.

"Right, well we're going to call the caterers," Carlisle said, leading Renee away from the kitchen. Their excuse would have been believable had he not groped my mother's ass on the way.

"They are just disgusting," Edward grunted, putting his dishes in the dishwasher.

"For a change I agree with you."

"Good. Maybe that's the start of a new found friendship." I looked over and saw that he actually seemed sincere.

"Somehow, I don't think so." Edward frowned and got all serious.

"I want to apologise."

"No, I don't want to hear it." I tried to get up but he grabbed my wrist and held me down in the seat. Not in a demanding scary manner, more of a pleading and desperate one. Whatever, it didn't hurt.

"Bella I'm sorry about that night-"

"Edward if we're going to have this conversation perhaps we can go somewhere more private," I suggested, cutting him off. Really, what the fuck would we do if our parents came down the stairs and heard that?

"Good idea." He didn't let go of my wrist, rather led me through the house. We went up to the top floor and into his bedroom. Compared to the last time I was in here I could actually have a look at it.

Typical guys room really, nothing exciting apart from his vast music collection. I'd have to check that out at some time.

Edward sat me down on the bed as he clambered up by the pillows. We ended up sitting opposite each other, me with my legs crossed and him with his dangling off the side of the bed.

"As I began downstairs, I'm sorry with what transpired that night. You scared the hell out of me; I honestly didn't know you were a virgin and if I had known we would never have done that."

"Why not?" I was curious to hear his logic behind the whole 'don't corrupt virgins' thing.

"Your virginity was not something I should have taken. Seriously, you should have been with a much better guy than me your first time. All I do is corrupt things are people. I turn everything poisonous and don't…didn't want that to happen to you."

"But you already though I was corrupted?"

"Well, yes." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the sheets. "I wish I could take that night back."

"I don't. I just wish we could have continued and then you have you not ignore me the next day. That made me feel like complete shit."

"I'm sorry about that too."

"Why? What good was staying away from me going to do seeing as you'd already taken my virginity?"

"I was hoping you'd realise what a jackass I was and find someone else, someone better."

"Edward I already knew you were a jackass when I kissed you that night. Granted, I thought just maybe you'd treat me different but I wasn't expecting miracles."

"Can you forgive me?"

"I kinda already do," I admitted. It was stupid and foolish of me but for some reason I just couldn't stay angry at him, he just seemed too vulnerable. "But Edward I'm tired of you hurting me."

"I'm tired of hurting you too. I want us to get on."

"And this has nothing to do with the fact that Carlisle is threatening to send you back to your mother's?" He looked up at me suddenly and practically glared my way.

"Alice showed you that note, didn't she?" I nodded and wrapped my arms round myself. "I should have known."

"It's not my place to ask but I don't care, why do you hate your mother so much?" Edward glared at the bed and sighed loudly.

"I don't hate her per say. I don't understand why she left, especially without even saying good bye. Plus, I hate her husband, he's a right wanker." Answered in typical Edward Cullen style. He shoes some vulnerability then curses someone.

"I didn't know she had remarried." He certainly kept that one under wraps.

"Yeah, two years ago. At first I was fine with him; you know he made my mother happy so it was alright. Then he took me out golfing so we could 'bond' and basically hassled the shit out of me, going on and on about how I'm an irresponsible son and that I made Esme miserable. The relationship between us only got worse as I got older."

"So by making up with me you won't have to go and live with him?"

"Technically yes but that's not the only reason I want to make up with you. Bella I feel terrible about that night, and the weeks that followed. I would say I'd like us to completely start over but I don't think we can."

"And why not?"

"Because we've gone past the normal barriers of a friendship and I can't forget that. You're never going to be someone I see as a friend."

"What do you want to see me as?"

"I don't know. Currently I'm very attracted to you but that's kinda normal. Hell, I've lusted after you since the day we met." That was interesting to know, especially since I had been doing the same. "Plus you surprise me, I thought the first time we really had a conversation after what happened it would be filled with yelling, cursing and most likely some violence, not you kissing the hell out of me." He smiled at me as I blushed. Maybe it would have been better to have yelled at him instead.

"That probably wasn't one of my smartest moves." Edward chuckled and shook his head.

"I thought it was." I rolled my eyes at him and settled myself across his bed, lying down and curled up. "Bella, do you think we could ever be something?" I lifted my head and shot him a questioning look. "I mean like…go out together."

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yeah." I bit my lip and sighed.

"I don't think that would be such a brilliant idea. I mean we're step-siblings. Our parents would never approve."

"They'd never have to find out," He said, taking my hand in his. "I mean we could start off small, with light gestures and take it from there. We wouldn't have to jump into things like before."

"No Edward, I don't think we should." He nodded and glared down at the sheets again. "If this goes wrong for us everyone will know, our parents will know, the whole town will know, just think of what that'll do to us and our family. It would be dreadful."

"And what if it turns out good and we are perfect together?" I shook my head, the boy had lost it.

"That's not possible. We want to kill each other half the time. And the other half is full of lust. It's not an ideal mix for a relationship."

"Can we at least be friends then?" I smiled and nodded; glad it wasn't going to be all or nothing.

"Yeah I think we can try."

"Good." Edward returned my smile and lay down with me. "Now, I think we should get to know one another. You go first."

"What do you want to know?"

"Eh, you don't have to answer but I was curious, you seemed rather experienced before and I was wondering how. I mean you said you didn't have any friends." His gaze was making me nervous that he'd judge me.

"I didn't have friends at my old school but I did have some down on the reservation. That's where I met Seth and we became more than friends. We broke up last year. Most of them down there were friends with him so we don't really talk anymore."

"What age is this guy?"

"Seventeen. Now, tell me about your past relationships." I was done talking about that part of my life and especially Seth.

"Okay, well I haven't ever really been in a relationship. I mean I've been with girls but it's more of a fling or something rather than us actually going out together."

"But you've liked girls before?"

"I've definitely lusted more than I've liked." Edward started glaring again. "The girls I seem to like either end up with someone else or hates my guts. That was no dig at you, just the others."

"Who?"

"Well Alice was one."

"What? Alice? You liked Alice?"

"Yeah but we're only friends, she's made that perfectly clear."

"What is with all of you? You all seem to like each other secretly so it turns into this big mess."

"Jasper and Rose?"

"Yeah. You like Alice who is dating Jasper who likes Rose who doesn't like anybody. Alice isn't one hundred percent comfortable with their relationship and is also best friends with you, who she knows likes her."

"Yep, that's it basically."

"God you guys can't keep things simple can you?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"No we like to complicate matters. Now, how much do you know about Robin Hood?"

"Nothing really. I know Jasper's part of the merry men thing but other than that nothing."

"They haven't told you who Robin Hood is?"

"No. Why, who is it?"

"I don't know. I was hoping you did and would tell me."

"Sorry to disappoint."

"Not at all, it was a long shot anyway."

"So you're not part of it?"

"No, I tried to be but they said I wasn't what they were looking for."

"Who did you go to when you wanted to join?"

"Jasper. He's their most visible member. You want to join you go to him. That's the simple part. Now, although we just spoke about this I want us to return to it. More than friends?" I sighed and turned to him so I was lying on my side. "Just hear me out for a minute, okay?"

"Okay."

"I like you and I know it's more than lust. We may not have a brilliant track record but I'd like us to try from the beginning. Like I said, take things slow and easy. If there are any problems or worries we voice them and handle it together. How can that fail?"

"I…Edward." I bit my lip, completely unsure what to say. He was breaking down my resistance and there was almost none of it left. "I don't want you to hurt me," I admitted, feeling very vulnerable having this conversation.

"Why would I hurt you?"

"You tell me, you've done it before." He winced a bit at my tone but nodded.

"I know I have but I thought you forgave me."

"Just because I've forgiven you doesn't mean that I'll forget about it. I'm also tired of your apologies, then don't really mean anything to me."

"Why not?"

"Because you apologised for calling me and treating me badly but then did it again."

"No, wait, I never cold you a gold-digger or a whore after I apologised." Thinking back I realised he was right.

"Fine, but you still were an asshole to me." He laughed in disbelief.

"Bella can you blame me? I was angry about Carlisle trying to play the perfect father card when he's not. I mean when Rose bitches you out do you ever think that you should stop being friends with her? No, so why am I any different?"

"You're different because I know how I could feel about you in the long run and you could break me completely, as though life isn't hard enough."

"But I don't want to. I want to be with you, not hurt you."

"That doesn't mean you won't do it inadvertently. I don't want to take the chance."

"Please," he begged. "Have you even taken into account the fact you could hurt me?"

"I don't think that's possible. Like Jasper said, it's got to be hard to break the heart of the heartless man." Edward frowned at me, and opened his mouth but no words came out. "I went back to get my books, they had been put in the storage cupboard at the side, you two came in."

"And you didn't think to let us know?"

"No, I wanted to know what you were talking about. Don't take the moral high ground here because I know you would have done the same." He grudgingly nodded.

"So you don't think I have a heart?" His voice was so timid and exposed.

"No and if you do have one it's dead beyond repair."

"Do I not get a chance to prove otherwise?"

"When that chance involves mine being broken, no."

"Seriously Bella, why do you think I would hurt you? We're already established that I haven't gone back on what I agreed to when we called a truce. The only thing I've fucked up with recently was that night but you took me by surprise, I don't sleep with virgins because I don't want to hurt them, emotionally as well as physically, and I don't deserve to be with someone so innocent."

"Edward I'm not innocent. I'm not some precious china doll that will break apart in your hands. I may have been a virgin but I had experience elsewhere. Just because I hadn't had sex doesn't mean I'm innocent and it also doesn't mean you corrupted me by taking my virginity."

"You're proclaiming that you're not innocent and that I shouldn't have ignored you for two weeks. What would you have rather had me do?"

"Be there, finish what we started, sleep it off and…" I was going to say that we should consider having a relationship cause that's what I would have wanted from him then.

"Are you going to say it or am I going to have to?" My silence answered his question. "You would have wanted something between us, and so would I. Contrary to popular belief I've never slept with a girl once and then not offered some kind of relationship. They've turned me down, not the other way. I told you I haven't had any relationships before, well that's true but I've offered. No one wants to take the chance with me but I thought you would be different."

"Are you trying to guilt trip me into going out with you?"

"No, that's not what I'm trying to say. You would have wanted a relationship then so why not now?"

"Edward do you not think if it's this hard already it would be better if we didn't get together?"

"Absolutely not, relationships are meant to be hard."

"Not this hard."

"Yes they are. Its worth more when you fight for it because once we're past that the other shit is nothing. Now tell me you don't feel anything for me? Tell me that you won't think of what we could be?"

"I can't do that and you know it. Yes, I would love to know how we could turn out but I'm not going to risk getting hurt! What aren't you understanding?!"

"I don't understand why you won't give us a chance. Bella, my god, just one shot, that's all I want."

"Edward I've already given you two shots to redeem yourself and shit all has happened."

"Whoa that's crap. At most you've given me one chance."

"No, I gave you a chance when I met you but you were rude. Then I gave you another when we called the truce. That's two." Edward rolled his eyes at me.

"Just let me try something." I raised my eyebrows at him, waiting to see what he'd do.

Edward leant over the bed, put one hand on my cheek and pulled me closer. His lips lightly touched mine ever so softly. It was the sweetest kiss we've had to date. He knew a kiss like that would sink whatever resistance I had left, and it did. This kiss made me believe that we could be more than fuck buddies or friends. I wanted us to work.

"Now can you honestly tell me that you don't think there's anything between us?" he asked, shifting a bit so we were only a couple of inches apart.

"You know I can't do that Edward." He smirked at that so I rolled my eyes in response. "I'm not sure."

"How can I reassure you?"

"I don't know."

"I'm going to try my damn best not to hurt you Bella."

"And what's different since the last time you agreed not to hurt me?"

"I'm different for starters, and if I hurt you I'm only going to hurt myself. We won't be the ones trying to take this relationship apart, others will."

"Then they can never know."

"Does that mean we now have a relationship, as in you are now my girlfriend?"

"Yes. I think we can try." Edward smiled at me then leant over to kiss my lips. This kiss was not like the last one, it was filled with passion. "There has to be some ground rules here Edward."

"Why?"

"Because like you said, others will want to break us apart." He nodded and leant up on one arm, his hand supporting his head.

"Let's hear these rules?"

"No one can know, not even our friends. Only we can be aware of our relationship."

"Totally understandable. If Carlisle found out I'd be out of here instantly. Next one?"

"Take it slow, kinda." He chuckled after the kinda and leaned in to kiss my neck.

"Define kinda?"

"We're not having sex for a while. Let's just take it slow."

"I think I can do slow." His kisses became lazier, just skimming my skin, and driving me wild.

"I'm glad." I pulled on his hair so I could see his face again and kissed him softy. "Now, the next rule, keep your options open."

"What do you mean?"

"If a girl flirts, return it a little."

"Is my girlfriend seriously telling me to flirt with others?" He smirked and raised his eyebrows.

"Yes but only because if you suddenly stopped it would be suspicious for those that know you very well."

"Actually yeah, that's a good one. I wouldn't have thought about it."

"That's why I'm the brains in this relationship." He chuckled and brushed my hair away from my face.

"So what does that make me?"

"The sexy looks. Next, no bragging about what we do together. I don't care if you mask it with another name or something. If we both did that then people would find out instantly."

"Okay, makes sense. You got any more?"

"Nothing happens outside this house. I don't care if you think we're alone, it's best not to take the risk."

"Right, I think I can do all that. Now do I get a say in these rules?"

"Of course."

"Good. Whatever bedroom we're in that night controls what we do."

"How do you mean?"

"For example, let's say you wanted to tie me up we'd go to your room because you are the one in control. The next night I want to eat cream off your nipples, my room, cause I'm in control." I blushed at his words as he laughed. "You're just so damn cute." One slap to his chest later we were back to normal.

"I think we can do that."

"Great, I do look forward to it." I slipped out of his arms that had been wrapped round my waist and sat up. "Where are you off to?"

"I think we should do something normal." Edward nodded and pulled me up onto my feet.

"Let's go watch a movie or something." The wicked grin on his face told me he remembered what happened last time we sat and watched a movie together. I was not letting that happen again.

Instead of a film Edward set up his game console thing and challenged me to a couple of games. He then got pissed when I was doing better than him at some of it. Granted, most of the times he kicked my ass but there was the odd occasion where I kicked his. That was very satisfying.

We spent hours playing, laughing and sulking in Edward's case. I was actually surprised how I hadn't grown bored of it all. The only thing that stopped our gaming session was to get food or go pee. Before we knew it the caterers had arrived and Renee came in to bitch at us.

"Our guests will be here in an hour so why don't you get ready," Renee said, happy to see us getting along but wanting us to stop and change.

I decided to do as she asked for a change and went to the bathroom for a shower. Once I was clean and dried I did my hair the way Alice suggested. It turned out somewhat successful, with the light curls not looking mangled. Afterwards I put on the black dress that I had wanted to wear to the wedding. Renee said no though, thinking it was too funeral like. Didn't she get that's why I wanted to wear it, dressing up for the death of yet another failed marriage.

The dress still fit me which helped, so I then moved onto shoes. I had hundreds of pairs, majority I never wore. One of the previous step-fathers bought them for Renee, and we have the same size. She was going to throw them out when we moved in with the Cullens but I wouldn't let her get rid of thousands of dollars worth of shoes so took them instead. They now filled part of my walk in closet.

By the time I was completely dressed there was ten minutes to spare for dinner. May aswell go and find my boy.


	13. Chapter 13: Table Touching

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Thirteen: Table Touching**

_By the time I was completely dressed there was ten minutes to spare for dinner. May aswell go and find my boy._

I hopped across the hall to Edward's room. He was in a suit again, looking delicious as usual. When I entered he grinned at me and stood up, making his way over.

"You look fantastic," he whispered, shutting the door behind us as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "Seriously Bella, wow." I blushed and rolled my eyes.

"You looked pretty good too."

"Pretty good? Hell I look amazing." He grinned, rubbing my bare arms with his hands softly. "We look fucking fantastic, how about that?"

"Very good." I slipped out of his grasp and moved over to sit on the bed, somewhat uncomfortably as I didn't want any creases in the dress. "What's this thing going to be like?"

"I have no idea," Edward admitted, going over to his mirror to try and fix his hair. It was so cute to watch him get stressed with it. "We've never had something like this before. Carlisle wasn't very social before he met your mother. I mean he does a lot of things to do with his work but nothing involving folk coming here. I'm not sure what's going to happen tonight. So it'll be a first for us both."

"Okay." I watched him for a few more minutes before chuckling and calling him over. Edward sighed and knelt down in front of me. "Your hair looks incredibly sexy like this." I ran my hands through it, loving the feel of it, and moving it about to give him proper bed hair. "There."

He got back up and looked in the mirror frowning.

"You put it back to how it was."

"Yep."

"Sexy?"

"Oh yeah." He nodded and gave it one more look.

"Thanks."

"My pleasure." And it was, I loved running my hands through his hair.

"We should go downstairs," he muttered with a look saying he didn't want to.

"Yeah. I'll go down now and you come down in a few?"

"Good idea." With one last kiss I headed out.

Alice and Jasper were already there with their parents, chatting away in the living room. The two of them came over and hugged me before introducing their folks. Next to arrive was Emmett and his mother then Rose and her parents. Edward came down last, spending much more than a few minutes upstairs.

We spent about ten or so minutes chatting away in the living room before Carlisle told us that the caterers were ready for us. The dining room was set up how I'd never seen it before. The place looked good and incredibly fancy. Trust the Cullens to have a simple get together that feels like you're eating with the Queen.

Everyone took a seat, adults at one end and us at the other. I think they knew that we would amicable as the evening wore on if we were with sitting together. It just made sense really, we'd be talking about things they'd have no interest in and vice versa.

Our starters were already on the table so we began immediately. Edward sat down next to me and grinned, making me weak at the knees. The boy was too good looking for his own good. I settled down properly, feeling a bit uneasy with him, and took a sip of my water as Edward conversed with Mrs Hale who was as gorgeous as her daughter.

"Stop hitting on my mother you pervert," Rose spat once Carlisle had occupied Mrs Hale's attention.

"Now why would I do that? I've got to uphold my reputation as a motherfucker somehow." He grinned.

"Asshole." Ah their light banter had started already.

"Have you ever slept with someone older?" I whispered, curious of his sexual past now.

"Only person I've slept with being older was when I was sixteen and she was nineteen." I nodded and looked round the table again.

"And if you could sleep with anyone at the table who would it be?"

"Out of the adults?"

"Yeah."

"Jasper's mother. She is one good looking lady." Edward was right about that; Jasper's mother was a beauty. Looking round I realised they all were.

Alice's mother was a very small woman, no surprise there, with delicate features but a natural beauty. Her father was of medium height but was definitely handsome and it was clear from the look in his eyes he doted on his wife and daughter.

Mrs Hale, a striking woman like her daughter, didn't have the same harshness to her Rose did. Although she seemed like a lovely woman I wouldn't dare describe her as sweet. I'm pretty sure she held the vicious temper had. Mr Hale was a big guy, burly like and much bigger than Emmett. He looked like he played professional football, and probably did at some point. I kinda figured them as an odd couple but who was I to judge.

Emmett was the only one who came with a single parent, well minus Edward and I. Miss Brown, who was previously Mrs McCarty, seemed like an adorable woman. She had that sweet and kind nature to her and completely loved Em. How he turned out normal I'll never know considering his father's actions. I'd have to ask Edward at sometime what happened to him.

The best looking man at the table had to be Jasper's father. He was drool worthy, almost better than Edward and that's saying something. He had the southern charm in his voice that just made you comfortable. No wonder Jasper was such a sweetheart, he probably learnt from the best. I have no doubts that Mr Whitlock could get any girl or woman he wants.

His wife, Mrs Whitlock, had the looks too and it would have been blatantly obvious that if they had kids they were going to be gorgeous. And Jasper was proof of that. Alice was one lucky girl, though how she doesn't lust after her boyfriend's father is a mystery to me.

"So, who would you do?" Edward asked, smirking at me and not bothered in the least.

"Mr Whitlock." He chuckled and shook his head.

"Let's tag team them, you take him, I'll take the wife and we'll have them on their backs by then end of the evening." I laughed and then heard Jasper clear his throat at us.

"I'd really prefer if you didn't try and seduce my parents. God you two are as bad as each other." Alice smirked at me.

"Don't worry, I'd do the same. He's just dreamy." Her eyes ran over Mr Whitlock's body and she was eye fucking the shit out of him.

"Alright I'd like it if you just kept that to yourself. I don't want to know about your fantasies for my father." Jasper sulked, huffing in his chair.

"Aww, is Jazzy jealous?" Em asked, smiling away.

"Screw you."

"Aww babe, you know I love you. It's just; well your father is a fine specimen of man."

"And what am I, chopped fucking liver?"

"Stop being a child. You know I'd never do anything about those fantasies."

"Yeah but you would if you could." Alice shrugged, and leant over, whispering something to him. Jasper glared at the table and flopped backwards in his chair.

"That was fucking low."

"Jasper, don't be so rude. No swearing!" His mother called, hearing the end of the conversation. We all laughed as he apologised, glad we hadn't pissed them off.

"I never expected that from you Jasper, such a bad boy," Mrs Hale said, devouring the poor boy with her eyes.

"I think he's going to nick my crown as the motherfucker in the group," Edward said quietly to us. Emmett laughed loudly and clapped Jazz on the back while Rose shot us all a glare.

"Don't even think it," She warned, not impressed with our brazen comments on the subject. "Any lewd thoughts about my mother and I'll chop your boys off with the steak knife."

"I love it when you get violent," Edward said, giving Rose his lusty eyes to piss her off.

"Eat shit."

"Rosalie! Where you not listening when we told Jasper off. No swearing," Mrs Hale said, giving her daughter a pointed look of disapproval. Rose didn't apologise like Jazz though, but rolled her eyes at them.

The caterers came in and removed our plates for our starters and then brought in the main courses along with more drinks for everyone, like we needed more alcohol in our systems.

"Enjoy your main course," Renee said, smiling happily at Carlisle.

We all tucked into our food, keeping up the light conversation. Jasper and Alice seemed to be having a spat whereas Emmett and Rose were getting on immensely. That I was not expecting. I tuned into their conversation and found them discussing cars, something I had no interest about.

"You really do look amazing tonight," Edward whispered with his wine glass in front of his lips.

"Thank you," I mumbled back, wondering why he wasn't just speaking normally.

"Don't be alarmed," he said firmly.

"Huh?" I asked, confused, but I wasn't for long. Edward's hand lightly touched my knee to let me know that's what he meant. His hand then settled there and began moving upwards. "Edward what the F do you think you're doing?" I was not getting in trouble for swearing next.

"I'm going to make you cum," he said, his hand had pushed my dress up so much that my panties could be seen. "Just relax and enjoy it."

I tried to stay coherent to tell him to stop but then his fingers slipped past the material of my underwear and sought out the one place that was begging for his attention. When he made contact with me I just about moaned loudly, the only thing that stopped me was the direct question my way.

"Bella, have you considered what you're going to do after highschool?" Mrs Brandon asked.

"Eh…well I was thinking about going to…university. Yeah that would be so good." Edward sniggered next to me with the last sentence. He was teasing me, lightly touching my clit but not giving me what I wanted.

"And what would you study?"

"Ed-" I began, going to moan his name for his games under my dress. "Ed-d-ducation." I managed, great Bella, smooth recovery.

"Really, you going to be a teacher of the future?"

"Yes," I said, though it was much more like a moan. Edward was finally paying attention to the bit I wanted, getting faster with his fingers.

"And Edward what are you thinking of doing at university?" He grinned, feeling me getting closer to my release.

"I'd want to study medicine and then specialise and become a gynaecologist. I think I'd be really good at that."

"Ha, you have no clue," Rose said. "You're not allowed to feel up your patients Edward."

"Oh I know, I'd be very professional. But I'd love to learn everything I could about the female genitalia. For example, where all the nerves are." To emphasise his point he rubbed my clit with his thumb and I came hard around his fingers.

I put my elbows on the table and dropped my head in my hands. God that felt amazing, Edward's such a shit.

"Bella honey, are you alright?" Renee asked, concerned.

"Oh yeah I'm great." I settled back in my chair and returned to my dinner, seeing Edward looking smug as hell out the corner of my eye. Cheeky bastard.

"Trouble in paradise," Emmett muttered, looking at Jazz and Alice. He was right, they were still squabbling with one another, over God only knows what.

"I didn't expect that from them," I said, now returning to the real world from my euphoria.

"No, they rarely fight," Edward added, watching them carefully.

"Anyone what to take a bet on what they're fighting about?" Emmett asked, taking out his wallet.

"I will." Rose grabbed her purse and took out a roll of cash kept together by a rubber band.

"Are they one dollar bills?" Edward asked, looking at the wad of cash.

"Fuck off," she spat as he laughed. They were indeed one dollar bills.

"Rose where the hell did you get them?"

"Didn't she tell you? She's also a stripper. The prostitution business is slow at the moment," Edward said chuckling to himself.

"Alright alright, quiet you two. They were talking about fantasies so my guess is that they're fighting about something fashion related due to one of these. No doubt our little Tinkerbelle dressed to please one of Jasper's sick fantasies and he told her the outfit was wrong or some shit like that," Emmett said, getting ready to put in his money once we had decided on an amount.

"They're fighting about me," Rose said, flicking her hair over her shoulder. Edward snorted and shook his head.

"The world doesn't revolve around you princess. There's no way that's what those two are fighting about."

"Well if you're so sure, make a bet yourself," Rose spat back at Edward.

"Fine I will."

"Oh God," I muttered, not believing he'd actually fall for that. Sexual fantasies + Jasper + a scorned and pissed off Alice = Rose. No doubt about it. Rose knew that and just wanted Edward's money. Of course Jasper would have sexual fantasies about her, he still loved Rose.

"They'll be fighting about a fantasy Jasper wanted and Alice provided. It'll be some sick and twisted thing she wouldn't have wanted to do but did it anyway cause she loves him. It will have nothing to do with you," Edward said, looking at Rose.

"Okay, what sort of money are we talking? Keep in mind Edward that I'm still three hundred down until that other bet comes in."

"Well then you'll be waiting another five months for that then, if you think you're going to win."

"Oh I do." Em grinned, flicking the wad of cash he had. Seriously, do their parents just hand them bills at the door.

"What bet?" I asked.

"We bet how long your parents' marriage would last," Emmett answered, not fazed in the least.

"And what did you bet?" I asked Edward.

"No more than six months. Em thinks a year."

"If Emmett estimated the highest then he's won." Upon hearing this Em's face lit up completely.

"What? How?" Edward asked, getting flustered about the possibility of losing.

"Because my mother never divorces within the first year, it makes it harder for her lawyer to get your money." I shrugged, not really knowing the details. Edward's face darkened and he glared at Renee up the table.

"Well there's still my father, he might ditch her."

"I wouldn't hold your breath. She's going to be giving him everything he could ever want to make sure this lasts. He'll be surprised as hell when the divorce papers come through." And it's true, cause all the other men were too.

"Great so I just lost three hundred bucks, thanks a fucking lot." Edward sulked in his chair, glaring at his plate.

"Oh stop being a little bitch, let's bet. How much?"

"How much you got?" Emmett asked, eyeing the one dollar bills.

"Shit loads, probably six."

"Hundred?" I asked, wanting to see what six hundred one dollar bills looked like together.

"They're not all ones," Rose said, knowing what I was thinking. "I have two hundred in ones and then rest is in fifties."

"Six hundred, I can do that."

"Why are you all carrying six hundred dollars around with you?" Hell I'd turn to the life of crime and mug all these fools if I knew they were carrying all that.

"I haven't been to the bank today," Rose said shrugging and hunting out her bag from below her chair.

"And that translates to: I haven't seen my pimp today," Edward added, counting out what he had. "I'm short."

"I could have told you that," Rose said, bringing her bag up onto her lap. "A guy like you must have a tiny dick."

"Blow me," he ground out. "How much does it cost again?"

"Fuck off. If you're short we'll do five then."

"I can do four," Edward said, looking at Emmett to see if that was alright.

"Yeah I can do that, after all I'm going to be rolling in the cash in five months time. Can you do it Rose?"

"Of course." They shuffled the cash together and Edward handed it to me.

"What am I to do with this?" I asked, completely lost. I didn't want their money.

"Keep it safe until we find out what they were fighting about."

I didn't bring a bag with me, seeing as I lived there, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to leave the table so slipped it into my cleavage. Rose had thankfully not put in the ones.

After our main course we were served dessert and then the adults moved to the living room. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and Rose followed. The others were still in the dining room.

"Very classy," Rose said. "Cullen making you cum under the table." I turned to her with wide eyes. "What, you think I wouldn't notice that? Please, it was so fucking obvious."

"Yes it was, also, totally scarring. Thanks for that," Alice said, walking in and gulping down her wine. "I didn't want to see your cum face but wasn't getting the choice."

"Okay that was not my fault. I couldn't get him to stop."

"More like you didn't want him to stop."

"Yes I fucking did. Do you really think I wanted to cum in front of the whole dinner table, which included all your parents and my own?" They both just sighed and shook their heads. "Exactly."

"Either way it was still gross. That stuff should be reserved for the bedroom."

"We're not doing 'that stuff'," I said, irritated with the whole situation.

"If you were we wouldn't be angry."

"Fuck that, I would," Rose called, not wanting me to have anything with Edward. "And seriously, what the hell was with all that gynaecology talk? Is that some weird twisted dirty talk you two have?"

"I hope not. That's just freaky."

"Huh Bella, is it your fantasy to play Doctor and patient?"

"Shut up the both of you, I didn't know what he was saying. I could hardly breathe let alone listen to what you were all going on about."

"I can understand that, Edward's apparently a master with those fingers of his."

"Would you know Alice?" Rose asked, smirking now.

"Of course not. The most that's ever occurred between Edward and I has been one drunken kiss when we were fourteen, and right after that I vomited on his lap. There's nothing there whatsoever."

"Fair enough. By the way, what was that spat at the table with Jasper about?" She asked with deep interest, $1200 worth of interest.

"You know I love you Rose but I find it difficult with the past you and Jasper had," Alice said, looking guilty.

"So it was related to me then?"

"Yeah, though can you blame me? Any girlfriend would be the same in my situation too." I nodded in agreement cause I totally would regarding Edward and any girls he was with in the past.

"No not at all," Rose said, nodding and hiding the small smile over winning the large amount of money in my bra. I looked down my dress and began to feel the money out when Alice's voice stopped me.

"What are you doing Bella?" she asked, shooting me a curious look. Rose was violently shaking her head and glaring at me so I knew it was time to lie.

"Fixing my bra, it was a little uncomfortable."

"Are you wearing a padded bra?"

"Eh no."

"Oh, it's just your boobs look bigger."

"You were checking out my boobs?"

"That's what I like to hear!" Edward declared, practically waltzing into the room. Alice rolled her eyes and went back into the dining room. "What was actually going on in here?"

"She was giving me my money in front of Alice. Rookie error Bella. We never let the others know the details of a bet when it's about them," Rose said, as I did remove the cash, now knowing it was okay.

"How was I meant to know that? You all have so many rules." Rose took the money I had thrown off the counter and counted it up. "Can you really take that without feeling guilty?"

"Look there's nothing I can do regarding their relationship, it's not my business and I can't help. Plus, I'll buy Alice some new shoes or something." With that she left the room and we followed. It would be bad to be left alone with Edward when there were others in the next room.

Eventually everyone headed off home and I went upstairs to change. Edward had just shut his door so I changed my mind and went to yell at him for his actions under the table and under my dress.

"Let's take things slow my fucking arse!" I whispered harshly at him. "Edward you made me cum in front of the entire table! What is slow about that?!" He stayed quiet, just looking at the floor, not bothered that I had just barged in his room. "Answer me or so help me God I'll-"

"I don't know what came over me."

"I do, lust," I spat, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring at him.

"Well yes, did you not enjoy it?"

"I would have enjoyed it a lot more if our friends, their parents and our parents hadn't been sitting there with us."

"Then can I make it up to you now?" The fucking nerve of him.

"What? No. God Edward this whole sex thing is going to kill us. Well, no it'll kill you cause I'm considering butchering your body in the middle of the night. You can't just do that. Everything has to be kept private or hell, we may as well make out in front of Carlisle and Renee tomorrow."

"Okay, I know what you're thinking but please don't end us before we've really started."

"I wouldn't have to even consider it if you had kept your hands to yourself."

"Alright, that was wrong of me. It won't happen again."

"It bloody better not."

"So, are we okay now?"

"I think so. But don't think you're off the hook, I'm still pissed about that," I said angrily, my tone telling him I was not to be messed with. He nodded and moved across the room to me.

"So you hated me doing that?"

"Well you know I have no problem with you doing that, it just has to be in private."

"You didn't get even more excited at the prospect of them seeing you become uninhibited?"

"No." I bit my lip and sort of swooned into him. "Maybe just a little." He chuckled softly and kissed me.

"Me too."

"I'm going to go to bed," I said, yawning in his arms.

"Yeah, I can see you're tired." He yawned as well and kissed me again. "Have a good night's sleep."

"You too." I hugged him and then departed to my room.

I either had made the best decision to start something with Edward or I was a complete fool. Not only was I risking my heart in this relationship but also our family life and reputation. All of that rested on Edward's shoulders. He had the power to make or break us and only time would tell which one would happen. God, I hope he makes the right decisions regarding our relationship.


	14. Chapter 14: Happy Family? I Think Not

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Fourteen: Happy Family? I Think Not**

I woke up the morning after the dinner party with another body in my bed. Rolling over I found Edward snoozing, topless next to me, one of his arms wrapped round my waist. The boy had some nerve; he was seriously risking our hidden relationship.

As fast as possible I whipped myself out of the bed and ran to my door to lock it. Once I heard the click I rooted around in my desk, pulled out some duct tape and taped the gorgeous mans' mouth shut. Edward began to rouse when I straddled his lap and his eyes open quickly.

"MMHHM!" he moaned, startled. He was most likely trying to talk. Foolish boy, the duct tape should have told him I didn't want to hear him talk.

"Listen up, as nice as it is to wake up next to you, we can't do that. If our parents had come to check on us during the night and found this then the shit would have hit the fan." I pushed his hair away from his face and kissed his cheeks. "We have to be careful, I don't want this to end."

Edward nodded and moved one of his hands from my hips up to the tape. He pulled a small bit away, wincing while doing so then took my hand and indicated for me to pull it off. He braced himself for the pain and I quickly ripped it off of his lips, seeing the angry pink skin below.

"Motherfucker!" he cursed in a whisper, remembering to keep quiet. "Next time just put your hand over my mouth." Edward glared and little as he rubbed his mouth and then pouted at me.

"I'm sorry." I leant down and kissed him softly.

"Well if there's one thing I've learnt from this, it's that you aren't opposed to pinning me down and taping me up." He grinned and then flipped us over, so that I was pinned to the bed.

Edward ground himself against me, pushing his straining erection inside his boxers against my small pyjama shorts. He smirked at me and kissed my neck a little before pulling back, looking all serious.

"I came in here last night because I really missed you."

"Okay."

"I don't want you thinking I came in here for sex."

"That hadn't even crossed my mind until you mentioned it."

"Oh. Well don't think that I'll never come in here looking for sex cause we both know I will at some point. I also know you'll come to me for the same. Anyway, that's not why I came in last night. I just wanted to be with you." He leant down on his arms and kissed his way from my lips to my collarbone.

"Mhmm, as much as I'm enjoying this you need to go."

"No," he said defiantly against my skin.

"You really do have to."

"I don't want to," he mumbled, not moving away.

"Edward let's not risk it. Now please go, I'll see you later." He groaned his protests but did in fact get up and leave the room.

I lay there for a few minutes just thinking about him and how good it felt to wake up with him before rolling off the bed. I went over to the shared bathroom and knocked but was glad to see it empty. A half naked Edward encounter would kill my plan of acting like things were normal while the parents were in the house.

The warm water of the shower was very inviting and as I was lathering up my hair I heard the door open. Edward had to learn that we couldn't do this, piss about and hope we don't get caught. So, I voiced my thoughts.

"You shouldn't be here. What if they find out?" I'd ease him into this argument, and if my words of persuasion didn't work I'd flash him. Soapy breasts are bound to be a weakness.

"I know I should be with Carlisle but he'd get suspicious if I sat for five minutes in our bathroom. Plus I'm hoping they don't find out until I'm sure." Renee's voice startled me and I slipped when I tried to spin. On the way down I hit my hip against the tiled wall and then cursed loudly.

Sitting down on the floor in the bath I moved the shower curtain back and peeked out. In my mother's hands was the worst thing I could have ever seen. A pregnancy test.

"Oh my God, what the fuck is that?!" I yelled, ignoring the pain of the soap in my eyes stinging like a bitch.

"Bella shush, I don't want them hearing," she scolded. "I need to take this."

"Mum please tell me you're not pregnant. You're not allowed to be."

"Do you think I honestly planned this?" she asked, looking a lot more frazzled than usual. "Look I just need to find out. Finish showering and we'll look at the results after." I nodded, completely stunned and got back up again, albeit a bit shakily.

I finished showering and peeked back out, finding the bathroom empty. Where the hell had Renee gone? There's no way she can drop that bombshell and then fuck off. Angrily I stormed out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and went to Edward's room.

"Well ding dong." Edward grinned from his bed. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"My mother took a pregnancy test." All the blood ran from his face and he became so much paler.

"And is she?!" he screeched, exceedingly high pitched.

"I don't know, she buggered off before I saw. Go check and see if she's alone, will you?"

"Of course." Edward was up off the bed and about to leave when he turned to me. "If she is we'll sort it out. Now please go and put some clothes on cause you look too damn good in that towel. The fantasies are running crazy right now and we really don't want to push our luck by getting caught shagging on the floor." I rolled my eyes at him and left the room as he trailed behind me then went down the stairs.

I dried my hair and changed into some jeans and a top, waiting for him to come back. This whole situation was fucked up. I mean what the hell was going on in Renee's head. A child could and would change everything. It was not what we needed right now.

Renee has never really been the responsible one and having a child is the worst possible thing she could do. I was an accident, as I was told at twelve years old when I asked. Apparently she had a small fling with the town's up-and-coming cop, Charlie, and I was the proof of said fling. They married to play happy families, which they were until Charlie died.

All it took was one guy to run a stop sign and everything turned upside down. When Renee married husband number four I was at the age of understanding she was a gold-digger, and I had been told by many before. I did ask her why she always married rich guys and she said that she needed to find a way to support me. Although that would explain husband number one it certainly didn't explain husband number four, or Carlisle, number five.

If she had a baby that would either mean she stays with Carlisle for good or she runs with the cheque and I end up looking after the baby. That would be dreadful, the worst possible outcome of this whole thing. Plus, what would that mean for me and Edward?

Our family would be much closer, making our secret relationship that much harder. Hell, we just got together, why are things getting so complicated? Can we not catch a break? Apparently not, especially if that test is positive.

Edward's footsteps coming up the stairs broke me from my thoughts and I turned, ready to hear what he was going to say.

"She's glued herself to Carlisle; you won't be able to find out anytime soon." He shut the door and locked it, then walked over, wrapping his arms round my waist. "What do we do if she is? I mean, that would just fuck this up completely."

"I don't know but I think it would be better if we just didn't talk about this until we're sure."

"Okay." He placed his head in the crook of my neck and kissed the skin. "You look good but I think you'd look better without these silly things called clothes on." He began clawing at the t-shirt.

"Nope, you told me to change. I'm not taking them off." He pouted but didn't give up either.

"The top's going." I laughed at the look of determination on his face.

Edward pulled it off of me quickly, not bothering at all. His grin widened considerably as he unclipped my bra and threw it to the floor. He groaned and kissed me, but not taking his eyes off my exposed breasts. It sounded like he was whispering to them, as I just stood there.

"God I love these." His hands cupped them and I moaned at his touch. "And I think they love me too." Edward leant down and kissed each breast once before pulling me over to the bed.

He lay me down and crawled over my body, like a predator stalking his prey, which I think were my breasts. Right enough, he planted himself between my legs and began kissing the right nipple before working his way across. I let Edward do what he wanted with my body as I lay there, grinding into him.

He began unbuckling my jeans, trying to get them down my legs. I kept myself firmly planted down, so they wouldn't come off. Edward must have realised this so he started on his own, undoing his belt and then pulling down his zipper. Things were picking up pace, a little too fast for my liking.

I hadn't quite gotten to the stage where I trust Edward completely. There was that nagging feeling in the back of my head that we'll have sex and he'll ignore me all over again. I just had to take precautions here, like putting this off for another time.

"We need to stop," I said, pushing on Edward's chest.

"Mmmhhm, why?" His lips continued their path across my chest and then up my neck to my lips.

"Just stop," I said again. Edward pushed himself up on his arms and looked at me frantically.

"What's wrong? Have I hurt you?"

"No, no. It's just I think we're moving too fast. Remember, we agreed to take things slow?"

"Oh right, yeah. Sorry." Edward moved off of me and grabbed my bra and top from the floor. I put them back on and redid my jeans while Edward did the same. He came back over and sat down next to me once we were both dressed. "I didn't mean to rush or pressure you there into thinking that we had to have sex immediately."

"I know you don't mean to Edward, I think its second nature for you now."

"That's not a good thing," He said, frowning at his lap.

"No, it's not. Maybe we should take some more precautions when we do in fact have sex."

"I don't mind using a condom."

"Good but just in case it breaks I think maybe I should go on the pill or something. I'll go to the clinic this week to get something sorted out."

"Alright, thanks." He kissed my forehead and scrambled off the bed. "I'm going to go and get something to eat, kay?"

"Yeah." Edward kissed me softly once more before leaving the room.

I flopped back on his pillows; feeling like my head was going to explode. There were just too many thoughts going round it right now, and half of them were 'what if…'situations. This crap just needed to be sorted out and the only way that would be possible was by talking to Renee. Hopefully she'd be some help in my time of crisis.

Venturing downstairs I found Edward chatting to her and Carlisle who were sitting happily in the living room together. Playing and planning happy families it seemed. What a shit load of crock.

"Mum can I talk you a sec?" I asked, hoping she'd understand how much I needed to.

"Oh not right now Bella, we're having some family time together. Come join us." I sighed quietly, going unnoticed by her or Carlisle, and sat down next to Edward.

I frowned down at my lap until I felt Edward's fingers caress my cheek. With wide eyes I was wondering what the fuck he was doing, this would so get us caught.

"You have a hair in your mouth," he lied because no I did not. His fingers touched my chin and pushed it upwards slightly, as he whispered into my ear and at an angle so the parentals couldn't see. "Chin up, don't let things get you down."

"Thanks," I said once his hands had returned to his side of the couch.

"No problem."

When I looked back over at Carlisle and Renee they were both talking animatedly together about God only knows what. I had little to no interest in finding out what they were discussing so made myself comfortable and began the waiting. At some point Carlisle would have to part Renee's side and that's when I'd make my move.

My plan may have been good in theory but in reality it sucked. Edward and I had sat with them for over two hours, listening to stories about their youth and crap like that. All the while I'm panicking about the baby that could be growing only a few feet away.

God did take pity on me though, when the phone rang and it was work calling for one Dr C Cullen. _Thank you God, I truly appreciate this and promise to pray next time I'm at church. _Renee looked worried but she knew now was the right time to do this and after a little prodding we were both alone in the kitchen with Carlisle in his study and Edward going up to his room.

"Are you pregnant?" I asked, not caring about dancing around the issue.

"No."

"Thank God."

"Bella, would it be so bad? I think it would be good to have another baby."

"You cannot do that."

"Why?" she asked, genuinely not realising it was such a bad thing.

"Cause it would be disgusting."

"Please, try and act mature."

"I am, you seem to be the immature one here. Yeah, it sounds great, have a baby who'll love you etc but remember the night feedings, the crying at all hours, changing nappies, and all the other shit that goes on with it. How about when it starts teething? Or when it hits the rebellion years and you just can't cope? It's not worth it."

"Well I can see you're not going to give me grandchildren." I rolled my eyes, pissed that she was trying to brush this off. "When the test came back negative I was upset, I wanted to be pregnant, to create a baby that was part of Carlisle and me. To have a part of him inside of me."

"You can get that with sex, he's in you then. There's no need to have a baby," I said disgusted by this entire conversation.

"I'm going to talk to Carlisle and see what he says," Renee said, completely ignoring my first comment.

Shaking my head I went upstairs and straight to Edward's room. I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me. He looked at me with wide eyes, knowing I was pissed off. I threw myself on the double bed next to him and wrapped my arms round his chest, snuggling into it.

"I think they're going to try for a baby." Edward remained silent, stroking my hair as he did. "If they do we have to break up."

"Whoa, why?!" Edward propped me up so I was facing him.

"Cause if they have a baby we can't be together."

"Again, why?" As though what I said wasn't good enough.

"Because my sibling would be your sibling and that sounds twisted and weird." Edward pondered that for a minute or two.

"I don't see the issue here. We're not going to be related, ever. Yes, we'll have a half-brother or sister but we will never share the same blood, ever." That did ease my worries but I still wasn't sure.

"Edward I…this is just too weird and wrong."

"We're wrong?"

"No, not us. This, the situation we're in."

"Okay, it may not be very orthodox but who cares? I certainly don't. Look, if this is going to be a problem for you then we either end it here or sort this out right now because I don't have a problem. Yes, it could get weird, what with them having a baby but it doesn't change anything for me. I still want to be with you, regardless of what they're up to. It may be difficult for a while but I'm certain we can get past that. The ball's in your court now."

I looked at him for a few minutes, taking in all I could see. It was clear I was in too deep. Keeping my heart secure around Edward was impossible. He'd wormed his way in and seemed to have no plans of leaving, not that I would want him to. That was the problem now. They were considering having a baby which would complicate matters. With the ultimatum of get over it or get lost I was one hundred percent positive about which one I'd pick. Him, every time.

"I can get passed this, just give me a little time." Edward brightened up immediately, smiling happily at me.

"Good, I'm so glad." I couldn't help but return the smile. "Why don't we do something, just you and me?" I looked at him like he had gone crazy, us out in public? Then again people could just think we were bonding as siblings.

"I'd like that."

Just like that our worries were pushed away, to the back of our minds, and we were on to something new. Edward grabbed his car keys and we left the house, not even mentioning something to the parentals. He took my hand as we walked to the garage and kissed my knuckles, making me just feel safe in his presence. I had no qualms with taking his vanquish; I'd actually wanted to get back in this thing. It gave me plenty of opportunities to just stare at my boy as he drove.

We pulled out and Edward revved the car before speeding down the lane. Usually I hated being driven so fast but with him I had full confidence he wouldn't hurt me, or us. God, how things have changed. The silence wasn't a problem for either of us; in fact we both seemed more relaxed due to it. I was content just being, there with him.

Although I'd lived here all my life, once you get passed the reservation I didn't know the area. Edward appeared to know however, as we drove round and down all the roads. Who knows where we were going, but that didn't seem to matter. As long as I had my boy I was satisfied.

I don't know how long we drove around, with just the purr of the engine and the idle chatter and music from the radio as company. Edward had taken my hand and was caressing small circles into it, making me feel relaxed and calm. It really gave me some time to think.

If Renee and Carlisle did have a baby I'd try and make sure that while that child was growing up things wouldn't be weird or stressful in the family. Either due to the relationship Edward and I have or because of Renee. If Edward and I are still together at that time it would need to be taken into consideration. That baby would need to understand that Edward and I are not brother and sister, that incest is 100% wrong even if it seems like that's what we're doing.

I'd try and be the best sister I could, and hell even mother if I had to. There's no way I could let that baby grow up under similar circumstances as I have. That would just be a serious no. Carlisle seemed like the type of father who would step up, take charge and protect his kids. After all, there's no way Edward would have gotten away with so much without the help of daddy dearest. Which means there's a high chance if things do go wrong, again, and there's a divorce he'd stand by this baby and definitely be there. Though I'd have to ask Edward how much Carlisle is around a he does work an awful lot.

God, here I was worrying about a baby that hasn't even been, or might not even be conceived. Plus, it's not even my baby.

Shaking my head I looked over at Edward, focused on the road, looking like a complete sin.

"You're staring at me," he said, sounding amused.

"I know I am."

"Any reason why?"

"Just cause I can." He chuckled at that then kissed the hand he had been holding.

"Are you hungry?" I looked ahead and noticed the diner at the side of the road.

"Actually I am."

"Me too." He pulled over and parked, coming round to help me out of the car. "We are pretty far away from Forks but just to be careful, I say we keep affection down to a minimal, so just act like we're siblings. That okay?"

"Of course." Thank God he seemed to be taking the need for secrecy serious. I would just die if someone found out. Not because I'm embarrassed of him –who could be having Edward as a boyfriend?- but simply because I'd hate for our relationship to end and cause a riff in the family.

"Good." He smiled and then let go of my hand, but ushered me inside.

There were only a couple of other patrons in, an old trucker guy, and a family of four at the back. The waitress gave us a friendly smile as we walked over to one of the booths and sat down. She handed us some menus and took our drink order before giving us some time to flick through them and see what we wanted.

I was in some desperate need for comfort food so ordered a burger and chips, which looked amazingly greasy and fulfilling. I had wanted to pounce on it when the order went to the other table. Edward got the same and we waited for it to cook, quietly drinking our water and soda.

Once our food arrived conversation picked up between us. We both just needed something to eat to replenish our energy levels and then we were back to normal, chatting away without a care in the world. It felt good; to be worry free for just several hours and I'm sure it did us a whole load of good.

We left the diner happy, laughing and I felt like we were friends as well as boyfriend and girlfriend. So if that relationship ever failed at least I knew we could still be friends out of it. Though I had no intention of us breaking up.

The drive back was not like the drive out. Our discussions continued on right up until we parked in the garage. That trip had made me much closer to Edward than before and it was something I definitely needed. My trust for him grew and he no longer was a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked as we walked to the door.

"Play some games, you know, the shooting one we played last time?" I nodded; glad we were going to be doing something that would continue our light atmosphere. I didn't need anything dark right now.

"Em, Bella could I talk to you a moment?" Carlisle asked, giving me a soft smile and gesturing towards his study, after Edward and I walked in through the front door.

I turned to Edward and told him I'd be up in a minute to kick his ass then headed on in after Carlisle, shutting the door behind me. I had no clue what this could be about but was hoping it wasn't the name thing again, I didn't want to be pressured into that.

"What can I do for you?" I asked, taking a seat across from him.

"Actually I was wondering what I could do for you." I frowned and shrugged.

"Don't think so."

"Are you sure, because I am a doctor and could help you with these matters?" That stumped me, what the hell was he talking about?

"Sorry, what matters are we talking about here?"

"Birth control." I paled considerably, I didn't even need to see myself to know, I could feel it.

"Birth control?" Oh my God please do not tell me he heard Edward and I discussing that. Though, if he did wouldn't he be kicking Edward's ass for sleeping with me?

"Yes, I saw the pregnancy test in the bin and want you to know that there are precautions that can be taken here, if you are having sexual intercourse. Though if you would rather discuss it with another doctor let me know. I do understand but I am here for you, always."

My brain was scrambling to pick up the pieces of what he had just said. Clearly my mother hadn't told him she took a test. Bloody idiot.

"Carlisle that wasn't my pregnancy test." He frowned at me and held a bemused look.

"Well it certainly wasn't Edward's or mine so who el-" he cut off, eyes going wide, before flying out the chair and his office. "Renee!"

"Yes! What is it?! What's happened?!" she asked, frantic and worried.

I didn't want to hear their conversation so went upstairs just as Carlisle asked her about the test. Edward was waiting for me on the third floor, arms out open. I smiled and fell into his embrace, inhaling his scent and kissing his Adam's apple quickly.

"Cat's out of the bag then?"

"Oh yeah." He nodded and slipped me out of his arms.

"Want to go and kick my ass on the games console?"

"Why not." He smirked and led me back down the stairs again.

"That's my girl." I loved hearing him say that, claiming me as his.

I'd definitely made the right decision by sticking with him despite what our parents were up to. Yes, things just got complicated for everyone but I was sure we'd make it, with or without the possible baby on the way.


	15. Chapter 15: Dirty Sticky Mess

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Fifteen: Dirty Sticky Mess**

We were getting a family photo taken, to make us feel more united apparently. God knows why. Edward wasn't happy one bit when he heard, especially seeing as this amplified the fact that I'm his step-sister and in these shots it'll look like I'm his actual sister. I really wasn't that bothered, just wanted it all to be over quickly.

All of us piled into Carlisle's Mercedes after breakfast and made the drive to the photographer's studio. The place was immaculately clean on the inside, with white walls, light wooden floors and the furniture matched the simplistic theme.

We were a few minutes early so all took a seat in the waiting area by the reception. Edward and Carlisle sat on one couch while Renee and I sat on another. I would have preferred to sit with my boy but my mother wanted to talk to me about something.

"Bells honey, have you given any consideration to taking the Cullen name yet?" she asked, not fazed in the least. I was though. How the hell could she ask this here, out in public? Why weren't we having this conversation at home, in private? It's things like this that aggravate me about Renee.

"Actually I have. I don't want it. I'm staying Swan." If things had been normal between Edward and I then maybe I would have changed my name but as long as we're together it's just not going to happen.

"Oh right, I thought you would change it. Do you not want to be a part of this family?" I sighed, getting more irritated by the second.

"I do want to be part of this family but I want to keep my last name, it's the only thing I really have left of Charlie."

"Alright, that's fair enough but you do know Carlisle won't try and replace your father."

What father, I've never had one?

I've had so many step-fathers but never a true father. Yes, Charlie was one but he died before I could even remember him. There are no memories of him. All I have is his name and the pictures that were taken, and at best none of them are very good.

"Yes, I am aware of that but this is just something I don't want," I said, hoping that Renee would just drop it. Thankfully she did.

"Hey, y'all can come through now," a young guy said, smiling brightly at us. We all stood up and my mother dashed over to Carlisle, no doubt to tell him I wouldn't be changing my name.

"What's wrong with you?" Edward asked, lightly caressing my hand.

"Nothing," I answered, smiling at him. It was nice how he cared.

"Don't lie to me. Come on, tell me what's wrong," Edward said, giving me those eyes that I couldn't resist.

"They want me to change my name. Renee was insistent."

"And are you going to?"

"No." Edward thought that over for a few seconds.

"Why?"

"Well, for one, it's my only link to Charlie and two; it would just be too weird, what with us being together and all."

"Fair point I guess."

We walked into the studio and the photographer pounced on our parents, telling them what they were thinking about shooting. Edward and I just stood there watching and waiting. It wasn't long before they decided to do single shots of us all, then Carlisle and Renee together; followed by parent and child shots then we'd do one all together.

While Renee and Carlisle we getting their single shots set up Edward and I were sent to change. There was a small room off to the side that had a cubicle inside for us to use. Really we were just going to change in front of each other; I mean we've already seen each other naked, what does it matter. For pretences Edward said I should use the cubicle and he'd change in the bit before it, still inside the room. That seemed to satisfy Carlisle who looked like he was about to jump down our throats when we both went to shut the door.

I locked the door behind me and then got onto my knees before Edward. He looked at me in confusion until my hands unbuckled his belt, then unzipping his pants and pulling them down. His eyes widened and he began shaking his head.

"Bella, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"I'm not doing anything right now." I reached for his boxers and brought them down too; glad to see he was already standing to attention as it were. Smirking up at him I licked my lips and then wrapped them round the head of his cock.

"Kuh-huh!" Edward chocked out, breathing sharply. "Shit." His fingers laced in my hair, not pushing me forwards or pulling me back but just resting there.

I swirled my tongue over him and then took him deeper into my mouth, sucking as I moved my head backwards. Edward's moans and groans were my encouragement that he was enjoying my ministrations.

"Darlin you need to stop," Edward ground out, head back, neck muscles straining, as I took him in and out of my mouth. "Seriously…I'm…I'm going to cum."

"That's the point," I muttered before twirling my tongue round the head of his cock. He groaned as I grazed my teeth along his length.

"Shit!" he grunted as I began to take him further down my throat. "Oh Christ!" With that Edward came, shooting his cum into my mouth. I swallowed it quickly, tasting him.

I cleaned him up with my tongue, then pulled his boxers and jeans back up. I buckled his belt as he stood there, rather dazed, watching me. Ah the post-cum face, how I've longed to see you so. Once I was back on my feet I grabbed the clothes I was to change into and hopped into the cubicle. Outside I could hear Edward changing his shirt. Soon enough we were ready.

He and I came out of the room and stood to the side as Renee and Carlisle were being photographed. My mother looked very happy and I couldn't resent her for that but she had put me in a difficult position, what with her marriage and baby issue. I definitely hadn't forgotten about that but was intending to put it aside until we knew for sure. If they were having a baby then they would have to make that known to us, and I was awaiting that conversation any day now.

The two of us stood there and waited until they were ready for us. Given that we were all wearing complimentary colours they wanted to do the family shots now. The photographer and her assistant placed us where they wanted us and told us to all smile. Edward was on my right and Carlisle was on my left, so when a hand squeezed my ass I knew exactly who it was. My smug ass boyfriend, who I could still taste in my mouth.

I just couldn't help but smirk. Yes, we were pushing the boundaries. Yes, we could get caught. But yes, it was hot as hell. Edward just made my mind numb, throwing all rationality out of the window. As sensible as I tried to be I just couldn't act it with him around. One day it was going to get me in trouble but whatever, he was worth the risk. And I was clearly as well, with his blatant disregard for secrecy. Although, I'm pretty sure I goaded him into it today, what with my actions earlier.

After the family shots we moved through the rest of them pretty quickly. The only ones that were a little weird were the 'brother' and 'sister' shots. I mean, come on, I've gone down on this guy; there's no way he's my brother. I'm not some incest loving freak. That's just sick.

Mother and daughter shots were fine, not a problem, despite my growing anger at my mother. She didn't seem to notice the looks I was giving her. She could play happy families all she wanted, that didn't' fix the mess we were currently in, and our family was a mess. Renee's a gold-digger, Carlisle's a workaholic, Edward's a jackass most of the time, and I'm screwing my step-brother. Family of the year, I'm sure.

When Edward and Carlisle were being photographed together you could feel the energy in the air. It's not that they didn't get on, but clearly something had happened. They wouldn't be so short with one another otherwise. I fully intended to ask Edward what had gone on once the photos were done, and he would tell me whether he liked it or not. In such a delicate situation like our relationship we couldn't afford to keep things from one another. It would not do us any good and no doubt be our downfall.

Carlisle and Renee were sent to go change, and I just bet they were having as much fun as Edward and I had in there. You could tell that their minds were on that path from the smug look that crossed their faces. I do not want to know what they were going to do. Instead I turned my attention to my boy, who now had a pout gracing his features. After all my efforts earlier to make him happy I was not impressed to see him so down. I don't swallow for nothing.

"What's up with you?" I would kiss that pout away if other folk hadn't been in the room.

"Nothing." I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him, then repeated the words he used earlier.

"Don't lie to me. Come on, tell me what's wrong." Edward smirked at me when he realised what we just did, role reversal, and then ran a hand through his hair.

"Carlisle and I had a talk last night, about the family. Some things were said, about our relationship- how he thinks we're too close, and about my attitude with your mother. We threw insults back and forth for a bit. I'm just not happy with him right now and he's obviously not happy with me. It's really no big deal. So, let's just forget about it, and focus on what's happening tonight?" I raised my eyebrows at him and smirked.

"And what do you think is happening tonight?"

"I'm planning on seducing you." He wore that sexy grin that made me weak. Edward wasn't playing fair, and I hated that I had to turn his offer down.

"We can't." His face dropped slightly and he looked at me with concern.

"Why not?"

"Cause I need to get birth control sorted out. We're not having sex until then." Edward nodded in understanding, not wanting to take the same risks. Even though I would be going on birth control, he'd still have to wear a condom. I just don't know where he's been.

"Actually, I'd also like for you to do something for me." I eased into it. He might take offence by me asking, but really, I'm just being smart and not taking unnecessary risks. As much as I hate to say it, being with Edward is a risk.

"Alright, sounds dubious, what do you want me to do?"

"Get an STD test." His eyebrows shot up his forehead and he ran a hand through his shining bronze hair.

"Okay, I'll see if I can go for one today."

"You'd do that?" I asked surprised. I just thought I'd have to fight of this.

"Yeah, of course I would. Bella, you can ask me anything, no matter what it is." He sounded a bit like Carlisle there.

"Okay, thanks, that means a lot to me."

"You're welcome. I want you to know that you can trust me; if you're unsure whether or not I'm clean we'll get that seen to so you have no doubts. Seeing as I'll try and get that done today why don't we both go along? You can get birth control sorted and I'll get tested. That way we're prepared for next time."

"That would be good, yeah."

"Alright then, so after this we'll go home, have some lunch, and then go there. That sound good to you?"

"Yeah." I wanted to kiss him for being so good about this all but that wasn't possible. I'd definitely make it up to him later.

Carlisle and Renee came back in, looking flustered as hell. Oh they'd gone a round or two in there, that much was obvious. Thankfully the photographer and her staff either didn't notice or decided not to. I hoped it was the former but was sure it was the latter. They must get that a lot. If they do, they should make it separate cubicles. Though I don't know why I'm complaining seeing as I had fun in there earlier.

I was ready to get out of there soon after and luckily we only had a few more shots before we could. Edward and I were both relieved when Carlisle and Renee finished their shots, and we got the hell out of there. The drive back was a little tense, with Edward angry at Carlisle and me angry at Renee.

As soon as we could we were out the car, saying a quick thanks to be polite, and marching off to the house. Edward threw me my keys, for some reason I was driving today, and we walked back out to the garage.

"Where are you two off to?" Carlisle asked, giving us a calculating look.

"We made plans with our friends; we're going to their house now." And with that we carried on our way.

I drove out of the garage, aware that Carlisle was still watching us. Edward had yet to say anything but I knew he'd have a little rant once we were out of sight. And right on cue, the second I pulled out of the lane onto the street he blew.

"What the fuck is his problem? At first he wants me to welcome you in, then apparently I'm too welcoming. What does he want?!" I reached over and took his hand, giving it a soft squeeze for reassurance.

"I think he's just a little worried that we'd become what we have. Remember, he doesn't know what happened between us and I'm sure if he found out he'd flip."

"I know but this is where we are. I'm trying to make it look like we're at least friends now, and that isn't good enough. He either wants us to be 'friends' or not. Bastard needs to make up his mind."

"Come on, you don't mean that. He's your father; cut him some slack, for me." Sighing Edward nodded. I leant over and kissed his cheek, pleased that he'd listen. It was clear he was angry and frustrated by it all, and I don't blame him. I honestly don't think Carlisle has taken into account his son's feelings at all. This was a big change for him, makes me wonder if they ever had an actual discussion about how things would be affected. I get the impression that they didn't, hence why Edward's confused on how to treat me now and how Carlisle expects us to act.

From my relationship with Seth I knew exactly where the clinic was. Edward was at a loss of where it was, which surprised me. His past as someone who got around was never hidden and at some point in that time I'd at least expect him to have come here. Then again, he could just have gotten condoms off his father.

After we parked the two of us made our way in, Edward taking an interest in everything in sight, as I went up to the nurse at the counter. It was an emergency clinic so I'd just have to wait until someone was free and they'd see me, same applied for Edward. We both took a seat, at opposite ends of the waiting area, and sat it out. Thankfully no one we knew was there and it wouldn't be odd seeing us around. After all, what teenagers haven't gone to one of these places?

Edward was taken in first and he did so without even a glance my way, such a good boy. Roughly ten minutes later I was called in and told to take a seat, where I was then given pamphlets on sex, drugs, alcohol and contraception. What a welcome.

The nurse took a seat opposite me and we went through the leaflet, looking at the pros and cons of each method. It just made sense to have the implant put in my arm. That way I won't get pregnant as long as it stays in.

I was determined for them to do it today and after going through a long and lengthy process about my medical history they agreed. The specialist nurse took me through to another room where I had to roll up my sleeve on my left arm. She measured about nine centimetres up from my elbow and then injected my arm with local anaesthetic. As that set in she prepared a special needle for the implant, which would be injected into me.

It didn't hurt, thanks to the anaesthetic, and I was quite glad to have gotten that out of the way. As it hadn't been inserted during my period Edward and I would have to wait seven days for it to take effect. I'm sure we could last that long.

The nurse told me to wait for five minutes and if I felt fine then I could leave. Well five minutes later I felt as good as I did when I walked in here so walked back out into the waiting room. Edward was sitting there, waiting on me by the looks of things. He shot me a soft smile and the two of us headed outside.

"You took longer than I expected, you alright?" he asked, all concerned. It was too cute.

"Yeah." I gave him a reassuring smile and we got in my truck. "How did yours go?"

"Okay, I honestly didn't know what they were doing with that swab, thought it was going to be rammed down my cock." I chuckled and shook my head as he continued. "But it wasn't that bad. Should get the results in the next few days. They'll call me."

"Well good."

"How did yours go?"

"They put the implant in my arm. It will be effective in seven days. Think you can hold out on sex until then?"

"Ooh I'm not sure," he joked, "I really need it all the time. No, of course I can. It'll definitely be worth the wait." I bit my lip anxiously.

"Are you sure about that? I mean, you know I've never been with someone before. I don't class what we did as sex, cause it just wasn't."

"I agree with you there but honestly there's nothing to worry about. It might not be very comfortable the first few times but if you're willing we'll keep at it until you're enjoying it as much as me."

"Thank you Edward."

"Hey, don't mention it. Now, seeing as we didn't have lunch at the house, why don't we see if the others want to do something?"

"Alright but can we just do something first?"

"Sure." I pulled over at the side of the road, leading back to house, and got out. Edward followed suit and walked with me into the woods after I had locked my truck. We walked for about ten to fifteen minutes and then I turned round to face him.

He was giving me a bemused look, but it didn't last for long. I practically launched myself at him, putting my arms around his neck and running my fingers in his hair, crashing my lips to his and teasing his mouth open with my tongue. God, I had been deprived of these lips too damn long.

Edward groaned as the intensity picked up, and he began pulling me closer. Despite the fact that we couldn't take things further I ended up with my legs wrapped around his waist, and my back pressed against a tree.

"We…have to come back…and do this properly," I muttered, rubbing myself against him.

"Absolutely." Edward's lips kissed my neck as his incessant thrusting continued between our clothes.

I was getting the desired effect from this and so was he. Our groans picked up, along with our fight for dominance. He won out in the end, as I came first, but just. Almost immediately after he came too.

"Shit that was bad," he ground out, letting me back on my feet. "I just came in my boxers like a thirteen year old boy, what the fuck's wrong with me? Actually, the more important question, how much power do you have over me? No girl has ever made me do that before." I leaned up on my tip toes and kissed him softly.

"Cause I'm one of a kind. Now, let's get back and see what our friends are up to." I took his hand and led the way back, him walking a bit funny like behind. There just has to be some gross mess in his boxers right now. Glad I'm not him.

Back on the road Edward took out his phone and called Alice. To keep me in on the call he put her on loudspeaker as I drove us towards the town.

"What?!" Alice snapped.

"Whoa munchkin, what's up your ass?" Edward asked, scowling at the phone.

"Nothing, or rather, no one. Now, what can I do for you?" she began to sound much like usual once again.

"Bella and I were wondering if you guys were up to something and if not, would you like get together?"

"Bella's with you?"

"Hey Alice," I called, trying to focus on the road and not her. Talking or typing on a phone causes too many deaths. I was not going to be distracted and either kill others or myself.

"Loudspeaker?"

"Yep," Edward answered. "So, do you guys have plans?"

"Not really."

"Then let's do something." He whined, pulling at the front of his jeans and looking like he was in pain. No doubt, he probably was, what with that dirty, sticky mess in there.

"Jasper and I were going to watch a movie; you guys are welcome to come over. I'll invite Rose and Emmett if you want." Edward turned to me, placing his hand over the phone.

"That sound alright to you?" I nodded and he went back to Alice. "Yeah we're up for that. Meet at your house?"

"Yeah."

"Good, we'll see you there. But, before you go, tell us why you were in such a pissed off mood when you answered the phone?" Alice sighed before answering.

"Jasper."

"Oh?"

"Look it's…something I'll handle another time. See you guys later." And with that she hung up. Several minutes of silence passed between us.

"She's fighting with Jasper?" I asked, completely bewildered by that. "You don't think this has anything to do with Rose, do you?"

"I have no idea, I wouldn't think so." Inwardly I cringed, it seemed as though Edward didn't know one of his closest friends was madly in love with the bitchy buxom blonde. "But they don't fight so whatever it's about it has to be some pretty serious shit."

"Things are getting pretty fucked up," I observed.

"You can say that again."

Alice and Jasper, who apparently never fight, were arguing nearly all the time, Edward and I were dating, albeit secretly, Rose practically hates everyone- expect Jasper, and you know that just fuels Alice's fire, and Emmett, hell Em is the only non-fucked up person out of the lot of us.

Five of us were on a path of clear destruction. People, thoughts, secrets and lives were clashing or would soon. At some point it's going to blow up in all our faces, and the only one left will be Emmett. Let's just hope he can pick up the pieces to put us back together again.

A.N.

I need to take a break from everything. This will be the last update until June.

Oh, and cause I'm all for the promotion of safe-sex, use contraception and get tested for sexually transmitted infections. That way you avoid all risks and know if you and your partner and 100% clean. Right, health talk over.

See ya in June.


	16. Chapter 16: Trouble Ahead

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Sixteen: Trouble Ahead**

We pulled up at Alice's house and Edward stopped me just before I got out the car. He looked pensive for a moment and then began.

"After what happened at dinner the other night they're going to be watching to see if we're anything. We need to convince them we're not if we want this to be a secret." I shot him a grateful smile and nodded.

"I'll make sure Alice and Rose know that we fucked up that night and have now decided just to be friends for our family's sake. You apologised and we moved on from there. Everything's good now."

"Great, shall we?"

"Yeah." The two of us got out and after locking the truck behind me we walked up to the front door. Edward rung the doorbell and Emmett answered it, a glass of milk in one hand and a cookie in the other.

"Are you having a nap after that?" Emmett smirked and shook his head.

"Get your lazy asses in here." Edward shut the door behind me and we followed Em through the house to the living room in the back.

Jasper greeted us with a smile and a nod as Alice hugged us both. Rose gave me a smile and glared at Edward who blew her a kiss just to piss her off. Rolling my eyes at the pair of them I followed Alice, with Rose trailing after me, into the kitchen.

"Explain," Alice commanded as she gathered things out of the fridge.

"What's there to explain?" I asked, looking between the two of them.

"Why don't we start with what are you and Edward doing together?"

"We had a family photograph this morning, and had gone out after that." I shrugged, trying to make it look like no big deal. They certainly didn't need to know about our activities in the woods or our trip to the clinic.

"No, I mean after him making you cum at dinner are you two together now?" Alice said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Whoa, no!" I lied. "That was a fuck up on both our parts. We spoke about it and have decided it's better to just be friends. I mean come on, imagine how awkward it could get if we were to break up?" I gave a shaky laugh and shook my head. "That's not something I'd want to deal with."

Both of them looked at me for a few seconds before breaking out in smiles.

"As much as I would have liked you two together I think you're making a smart decision," Alice said, giving me a small hug.

"Well I'm just glad you're smarter than the others who fall into bed with that prick," Rose added, turning to look into the living room.

"He's not that bad." Alice smiled as I defended Edward and Rose turned her nose up in disgust.

"Yes he is Bella. You're just too blinded by his good looks to see it."

"Well I am happy that you think he's not a bad guy," Alice began. "It's about time Edward had more than one female friend. Though, has he started hitting on you?"

"He never stopped," I said, watching as Alice put all the snacks and drinks onto a tray to take next door.

"Ah, well you need to get use to it. He's been hitting on me for years, so don't think he'll give up easily." Hearing that he hits on Alice shot a pang of jealousy through me. It was stupid, I know, but I couldn't help but feel jealous over that piece of information. "Now that we're caught up on your news Bella, it's time that you explained yourself Rose."

I looked at Alice confused and then over to Rose. She had a soft smile playing at her lips but didn't seem like she was going to say anything.

"News about what?" I prompted.

"A guy in the next room," Alice answered, smiling evilly at Rose. Surely they couldn't be talking about Jasper. I mean, that's a little weird, unless they're into threesomes or something.

"What?" I asked, now really confused. "Which guy?"

"Emmett." Rose smiled more and shook her head.

"I'm sorry ladies I don't kiss and tell." That piece of news caused Alice to squeal loudly.

"You guys kissed! Oh that's fantastic, Rose!" she gushed, running over and pulling the blonde into a tight hug. "When did this happen?" Rose rolled her eyes and pointed at the closest chair.

"Sit," she commanded. Alice obeyed and dragged me down next to her. "Well, as you know, Emmett had been talking to me recently."

"I didn't know this," I interjected.

"Well you do now," Alice said, hushing me. "Continue please."

"Anyway, it started off as a simple 'hi' and finally we began speaking to each other. He's really quite sweet." Her eyes kinda glazed over in thought. "Emmett wanted to see me this weekend so we agreed to meet up at mine. He…was just a complete gentleman."

"When did he kiss you?!" Alice had been holding back her excitement only to have it burst out.

"As he was leaving. We were out by his Jeep and he asked politely if it would be okay. I. of course, said yes."

"Are you two dating?"

"I don't know." Rose shrugged her shoulders and glanced downwards.

"It'll come," Alice said, reassuring her. "Emmett isn't one of those wankers to string girls along. He will ask you out."

"We'll see," Rose said before walking next door.

Alice sighed and then grabbed the tray of food off the counter. We went back to the living room where the guys were all spread out chatting and laughing away. Emmett rubbed his hands together at the sight of the food and sat up.

"Thanks girls," he said, leaning over the tray once it had been placed down on the coffee table in the middle of the room.

"Excuse me for a minute," Edward excused himself, dashing out of the room. I shot him a curious look but he gave nothing away.

The others all dug into the food as Jasper scanned through the movies we could watch, reading some out and then moving on when we all rejected it. When Edward came back he looked a lot happier and planted himself down on the couch, smiling. I leaned over to see what was going on.

"What's up with you?"

"I ditched my boxers, gave my boys a clean, and feel all fresh again," He said, grinning. I couldn't help but laugh and shake my head.

"What did you do with the boxers?"

"Ditched them in one of the bins. Hopefully Alice won't be rooting through them anytime soon. I don't know how I'd explain that."

"So what, you're going commando?" I couldn't help but look down at his jeans, knowing that he had nothing below. God, that was a turn on.

"Yep." Edward smirked at me. I shook my head and flunked back onto the couch.

"Right, get comfortable movie is about to start," Alice called. Quickly I got up and went for a drink. When I returned to the living room Alice was sitting on the couch next to Edward, Jasper was curled up with Rose looking very cosy and Emmett was sitting by himself.

I took a seat next to him, surprised by the seating arrangements. It seemed unusual that Alice wouldn't sit with her boyfriend. Plus, why wouldn't Rose sit next to Emmett if those two were getting close? I just didn't understand it at all.

Throughout the movie I couldn't pay it any attention. There were more important things going on in the room. Alice had moved into Edward's arms, becoming wrapped up in them. She was watching Jasper and Rose though, who were in a very similar position to the one she was currently lying in.

Even though I trusted Edward there was a small amount of jealousy coursing through my veins. Edward and Alice were just friends but I couldn't help think Edward would run to her given the chance. His feelings for her ran deep, much deeper than I think he realised. I was certainly aware of it, as was everyone else by the looks of things, and that's what was making the current situation much worse.

As Rose was leaning against Jasper's chest, practically planted between his legs, it looked like a position one would be in with their girlfriend, not their best friend. Alice clearly knew that. She sat with a pained expression, watching as her boyfriend would cosy up to another girl, her best friend. Ironically I was in the exact same position, with the closest thing I had to a best friend snuggling up to my boyfriend.

Back to Jasper, every so often he would lean down, whisper something in Rose's ear that would make her smile, and had been caressing small circles against her waist. Hell, at this point in time, I wouldn't be surprised if he kissed her. Neither would Alice by the looks of things too.

Something seemed to shift in the room when Jasper turned to and gave a meaningful look to Alice. I don't know what passed between them but it must have hurt our dear pixie, as she looked ready to cry. I would be certain Alice didn't cry, she was so upbeat and strong, after all, but this must have knocked down her last defence.

Rather than leave the room, she quickly pushed her hair about, slyly wiping her silent tears. Edward caught what was going on and immediately pulled her closer to him, glaring at the back of Jasper's head. My boy changed then, to Alice's boy.

Edward was going to stand up and protect her, despite the fact he couldn't really do that. In order to protect Alice he would have to have prevented whatever changed between the two of them, and that wouldn't have been possible. For him to do that he would needed to have been the one to walk in after Rose was raped, not Jasper. But in changing that everything would be different.

Alice began to move and I thought she was getting up but instead she shifted positions and ended up with her head in my boyfriend's lap. Edward started running his fingers through her fine hair, watching the movie but occasionally looking down.

Worry and dread filled me instantly but there was nothing I could do. This complicated situation was out of my hands and I would just have to sit back as it played out before me. The next few days were going to be crucial for how this played out.

Once the movie ended Emmett got up and ordered a few pizzas for us all. We then spent the next two hours or so flicking through the channels, eating and chatting about nothing in particular. We could all feel the animosity in the room but were acting like it was nothing.

"We're going to have to call it an evening," Jasper said, getting up and taking Rose's hand. Alice looked at their hands entwined and bit her lip.

"Alright, well we'll see you at school tomorrow," Emmett said, also looking rather sad by the pair's closeness.

Jasper didn't even bid his girlfriend goodbye, just walked out with Rose. She smiled and thanked us all before leaving however. Immediately Alice stood up, shaking a little and began nodding.

"So, I'm going to begin cleaning up things here, why don't all of you find something to do, alright?" With that Alice darted out the room. Edward ran a hand through his hair then stalked out after her.

"What the fuck is going on?" Emmett asked, shaking his head.

"I have no idea."

Now it definitely felt like I was losing my boyfriend, and to who? My closest friend.

"I'm going to take off."

"Me too babe, me too."

Emmett and I both got up off the couch and headed straight outside. Alice and Edward would understand why we left; there was nothing left for us to do here. Plus, we couldn't exactly go and comfort her.

I unlocked my truck and then gave Em a hug goodbye. We both seemed to be reeling from tonight's unusual atmosphere. The drive back home gave me more time to think. There was nothing I could do to hold onto Edward if he decided that he wanted Alice, and that fact hurt.

When I got home I headed straight up to my room and plugged in my headphones. Blasting up the music I grabbed a book from my shelves and settled down on the bed. I'm not sure how much time past but Edward opened my door and stood, waiting for me to acknowledge him.

I turned off my music and sat up on the bed. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, looking at me with sad eyes. I nodded at the bottom of the bed and Edward got the message, taking a seat.

"You left."

"Yeah I did."

"Why?" Edward asked.

"What, you actually thought I'd stick around?" I shook my head as he frowned at me.

"Well yeah I did."

"How did you get home?"

"Alice dropped me off."

"How is she?" I asked, curious to see what he'd say.

"Messed up. I don't know what the fuck is going on with them. Now, you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said too quickly.

"Don't lie, we did this earlier. Talk to me."

"You're awful close to her." Edward frowned and took my hand in his.

"Who?"

"Alice." Recognition dawned on his face, and then a smile.

"You're jealous," he stated.

"Of course I am. My boyfriend had the girl he's been in love with for the last four years wrapped up in his arms for half the night."

"Bella, don't be like that. Nothing is going on between Alice and me." I noticed he didn't deny loving her.

"Oh I know that but if she wasn't dating Jasper then there would be something." Edward sighed and scooted over next to me. He took my face in his hands and caressed my cheek.

"Bella, you have nothing to worry about, I promise you. I can't explain it but Alice doesn't hold the same interest she did before you came along."

"That's because you found someone who was more forbidden." He grinned at me and licked his lips.

"Although that's true that isn't why she's no longer desirable. Bella you…I don't know but with you things are different. I can see us having more than great sex." He joked. "With Alice that's all I really see, or saw cause I don't want her."

"So if she became single you wouldn't try anything?"

"No. I'd be there for her, supporting her through the breakup but…I wouldn't try anything." That was a little more reassuring but I still had doubts and knew they wouldn't be going away anytime soon.

I smiled at Edward and leaned forward to kiss him softly. He kissed me back and I could feel him grinning throughout it. One of his hands that were holding my face moved up and ran through my hair while the other ran down my neck, ribcage and settled at my waist.

"I would love to continue this but we got to be safe, wait until the results come back." I pouted at him, causing him to chuckle.

"As soon as you get those results back we're implementing that rule you made."

"What rule was that?"

"Whoever's room we're in that night has control. Well, I want control." Edward grinned wickedly and moaned.

"Thanks for the erection." He joked, shaking his head.

"Welcome." I kissed his cheek and left my hand adventure down his chest to the bulge in his jeans. I distinctly remember him being commando and I couldn't help but lick my lips.

"Don't get any ideas," Edward said, taking my hand away.

"I'm not going to catch any STDs by giving you a hand job," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"I know that but we're playing with fire here." I was going to protest but then we heard the door shut downstairs. "Parents are back," Edward said, grabbing my hand and leading me into the hallway.

We separated and both headed down the stairs. Carlisle was nodding along with whatever Renee was saying when we reached the bottom step. They smiled at us and Carlisle said that he wanted to talk together, as a family. Edward and I shot each other worried glances before following them into the family room.

"We've been thinking and want your opinions," Carlisle began. "After the pregnancy scare Renee and I began talking about what it would be like to have another child. Obviously, that would change a lot of things but we think we could manage. So, Renee and I want to have a baby. How do you feel about that, Edward?"

Carlisle had shocked the two of us into silence. The blood had drained from my face when he said they wanted to have a baby. Edward was clearly in a similar position. He opened his mouth, stuttered over his words and then flew off the couch into a mad rage.

"You can't be fucking serious?!"

"Edward, calm down and watch your language."

"No I won't fucking calm down. You want to have a baby, what the fuck for? It's not like either of you did a good job taking care of the first ones you had!" I nodded in agreement, listening to his every word.

"That's enough Edward," Carlisle said, trying to control his son.

"What's wrong with you two? Do you want to fuck up another human being? Cause that's what will happen if you two have a baby."

"Thank you for your opinion Edward but now we'd like to hear from Bella." Edward glared at his father before throwing himself back down onto the couch.

"Bella, honey, how would you feel about us having a baby?" My mother asked, looking saddened by Edward's words.

"I…-" She looked hurt and I knew this was something she wanted more than anything. I couldn't be the one to deny her that. "- do what you want. It's your life, not mine." I bowed out of the argument. Edward shot me a dirty look and shook his head.

"Don't make the mistake of bringing someone else into this twisted family," Edward said, standing up.

"Look, we hoped that you two would be happy for us but Edward you're clearly not, and I'm sorry about that son. However, this is what we want so we're going to try for a baby. Hopefully when it's born you will be there to support them as their older brother."

Renee and Carlisle gave us one more look then left, heading upstairs to retire to their bedroom. I sighed and rubbed my eyes, tired with all the drama in this household. Without opening my eyes I could tell Edward was pacing the floor.

"Let it out," I said, waiting for his reaction. He stopped pacing the floor and just stood there, looking vulnerable.

"I don't have the energy to. They're fucking up but there's nothing I can do. Plus, they were going to do it anyway."

"Exactly. Now, let's go to bed. You look shattered and so am I." He nodded and held out his hand, helping me up off the couch.

Edward locked up downstairs and then followed me up. I kissed his cheek goodnight and went to my room as he went to his. Today had been a bloody rollercoaster and I was desperate to sleep. Unfortunately it didn't come easy and at three o'clock in the morning I thought I was hearing things.

It sounded like someone had entered the house and come up all the stairs. I was terrified to say the least. Cautiously I crawled out of bed and padded across the floor into my walk in wardrobe. In there I grabbed a pole that needed to be put up and went to the door.

Opening it gently I peeked through the gap. Across the hall, outside Edward's room, was Alice. The lights were off but I could tell it was her from her silhouette in the small amount of light fluttering through the window at the end of the hall.

She softly opened the door and entered Edward's room, shutting it quietly behind her. I stood shocked in my doorway. My grip on the pole in my hand tightened as I thought of what they could possibly get up to, in his bedroom, at three in the morning. No good could come of it.

Somehow I managed to clear my mind and fall asleep, but only for a few hours. When I woke up I had to check if Alice coming over last night was a figment of my imagination. I was praying it was but knew it wasn't.

Downstairs I could hear Renee and Carlisle chatting over breakfast, giving us a bit more of a lie in. We did have school today and would need to be getting up soon. I wasn't bothered about getting in the shower or making sure I was on time for first class. Instead, I needed to know if Alice was still here.

When I opened Edward's door my eyes scanned the room quickly. The back wall, completely made of glass, supplied all the light I needed to see what I was dreading. Across the floor were discarded clothing and hell, there was even a bottle of gin sticking out from under Edward's jeans.

He had gone commando, which meant when he took them off Alice would have-

I cut that thought off when one of the two bodies in the bed moved. Edward rolled over and smiled softly at me, as though he didn't care about being caught. He took in my face and gradually frowned. Then his eyes shot open wider as he surveyed the scene before him.

Alice was still sound asleep in the bed next to him as he sat up. Shaking my head I turned for the door, not wanting the excuses. Those nagging doubts that I thought were silly were most definitely not.

Now I had no idea what the fuck to do. I had just caught my boyfriend in bed with another girl. That stung. Without giving it another thought I headed for the shower, hoping to wash away the pain. It obviously didn't work but it had set me off into my routine for the day.

All I had to do now was avoid Edward and Alice.

* * *

A.N.

Thanks for being so patient and I hope it was worth the wait. Next update will be in a few days time.


	17. Chapter 17: Space & Issues

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Seventeen: Space & Issues**

After showering and numbing the pain in my chest, I darted back next door to my bedroom only to find Edward camped out on the bed. He had a plate of toast on his lap and a glass of orange juice on the nightstand.

I looked at him but decided not to say anything. If he wanted to talk then he could start. There was no way I was going to bring this up if he wasn't going to give me the proper answers. Edward remained silent however and just sat on my bed eating his breakfast and watching me change.

Not caring about being modest around him I dropped the towel I had and threw on some underwear, at this point not caring if it matched. Going about as though everything was normal I dressed for school, dried my hair and was ready to go. For some reason I had gotten ready much faster than usual and had twenty five minutes left before I even had to leave.

Well, I wasn't going to spend it with Edward. Even though I didn't know where Alice was I took a bet she wasn't downstairs with the parentals. More likely she'd still be in Edward's bed. Shaking my head of those hurtful thoughts I moved to the door. The second my hand was on the doorknob Edward spoke.

"Wait," he all but whispered. "We need to talk."

I didn't want to talk and I didn't want to listen but something inside made me turn to him.

"Please, sit." I eyed the room carefully and then took a seat on my desk. "What you saw earlier wasn't what it looked like." I snorted and rolled my eyes, of course he was going to say that. "No, Bella, please hear me out."

"Fine." His pleading and vulnerable voice had worked their charm and I couldn't help but agree to listen to him.

"It wasn't what it looked like," he repeated.

"You said that already. Edward for fucks sake just tell me," I demanded.

"She has a spare key, that's how she got in. I told her to come over if she needed me. This is what we do, Bella."

"What, fuck each other to fix your emotional problems?" I spat at him, not being able to hold back my anger and frustration.

"I've never had sex with Alice. I've only ever kissed her, and we were fourteen at the time. What I mean is, when one of us is upset we go to the other for comfort. She only ever comes to me if Jasper has fucked up big time. In all our years of friendship, she's come to me once. Hell, I practically lived in her bedroom for months on end."

"And what do you two do?"

"We talk, and whoever is going through the problems drinks."

"Did you drink last night?"

"No, I didn't. The alcohol makes it easier to let it all out so Alice was glugging it down." He shrugged at me.

"What did you talk about?" It wasn't my place to ask but frankly I didn't care at this point.

"Jasper broke up with her. He chose Rose. With their history I can understand why he'd be so close to her but I honestly didn't see that coming."

"Their history?" I feigned confusion.

"Royce raping her and Jasper putting her back together again."

"You knew about that?"

"I found out last night. Like I said, the alcohol makes things easier." Edward sighed. "I was aware that you didn't trust me that much but I thought you'd give me the benefit of the doubt. It's not like I have a track record of cheating."

"I know, but…seeing you with her, in bed together…what was I meant to think?"

"No, I understand but we need to work on our trust if this is ever going to work." I looked up at him and nodded.

"What are we going to do about Alice?"

"What about her?" he asked.

"You like her."

"She's a friend."

"She's more than that," I insisted. Edward sighed, shook his head and remained quiet for a few moments.

"I'm not going to sit here and lie to you, Bella. Yes, I liked Alice, a lot. If Jasper hadn't asked her out I'm pretty sure I would have. He beat me to her and that pissed me off but now I can't help but feel relieved that he was with her. If I had been with her I never would have had a chance with you."

"You can say all the right things Edward but it's not going to make me feel any better."

"Well what do you want me to do, cause I'm trying? Do you want me to stop seeing Alice? Just say it and I will. You mean more to me than she does. Yes, she's a great friend but everything's so fucked up it would help if we could take a step back every so often."

"Explain the clothes scattered across the floor," I said, changing the subject.

"What about them? She was dressed to the nines and I told her to change. I went to piss while she put on a pair of shorts and one of my t-shirts."

"I saw her bare shoulder," I pointed out, frowning.

"You do realise I'm much bigger than her, right? My t-shirts are like dresses on that girl." He made a fair point there. That would explain it.

"Anything else?"

"Your clothes, across the floor. More specifically, your jeans." Edward looked at me confused for a moment before exhaling softly, a small smile on his lips.

"Alice arrived around three o'clock in the morning, is that correct?"

"Yes." I didn't know where he was going with this.

"Well, I left you at about midnight. Do you think I slept in my jeans that entire time?" I pondered it and shook my head. "I left you and changed into some boxers before going to bed. Alice pitched up and to be perfectly honest, when I heard the door open I thought it was you coming for a wild night of sex, obviously it wasn't." I rolled my eyes at him.

Edward said he didn't know Alice was coming so then he wouldn't wait up for her. I do believe him there as his light was off when she opened the door. It's not like he would plan ahead for me to be awake and see her come in so he could use all these excuses. Though the more he explained the less I thought he was lying.

It all kinda made sense in some God awful way.

"Now tell me, where do we go from here?" he asked, putting the decision in my hands.

"I still like you Edward, even though I shouldn't like you at all. However, I'm pissed off and will be for the next few days. I need some time. Will you wait?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay."

"Do we tell people that we're together, if that's still what we are?"

"We are still together but no, we're not telling anyone."

"If we did that would make things easier," Edward added.

"True but then there's the chance of our parents finding out and I don't think I could deal with that right now."

"Fair point." I sighed and stood up, getting ready to go down the stairs.

"In those few days you need to set up boundaries with Alice cause if you don't we can't be together." I leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek, giving his shoulder a rub. "I hope we can work this out."

Edward nodded and kissed my hand before I walked away. Carlisle and Renee were cuddling up in the kitchen, which I gladly ignored. Thankfully Alice was nowhere in sight and that did make things easier. She wouldn't understand why I would be angry with her as in her eyes she's done nothing wrong.

"Morning Bella," Carlisle said, giving me a smile.

"Morning." I grabbed a plate of food and took a seat.

"Bells, we just want to thank you for being so understanding. Your support means the world to me, to us," Renee said, giving me a one armed hug.

"It's nothing, don't mention it."

"But it is something Bella. We are all a family so adding another member matters to us all. Edward does have his worries but we hope he'll get past them when the baby is born." I nodded at Carlisle, not wanting him to think I was too supportive or opposed to it either.

"When the baby is born? Are you pregnant?" I asked, wide eyed and stunned.

"Oh no, not yet." I exhaled in relief, which didn't go unnoticed by Carlisle. He didn't mention anything though.

"Ah Edward, morning." I turned my head slightly and saw him walk in, dressed for school.

"Morning." He put some food on a plate and sat down at the end of the table, furthest away from me.

I couldn't help but wonder where Alice was, though there was no way I'd voice this query. If Carlisle and Renee didn't know she had been here then I'd land Edward right in it. Despite my anger and confusion about us I wouldn't want him getting in any more trouble with his father.

They had an unusual relationship. It was clear Carlisle loved Edward but sometimes it felt like he was too strict on his son. We all make mistakes but everyone of Edward's gets scrutinized by Carlisle. The fact that Carlisle seemed to be aware of almost everything going on didn't help either.

I glanced across the table at Edward. He had his head down and was eating away quietly. There was a pensive look about him, as he inspected the scrambled eggs. I wanted to know what he was thinking, if he regretted how things worked out yesterday, and if he was really going to put up boundaries with Alice.

Glancing up Edward gave me a tiny smile and then returned to his food. I was mad and upset at him, yes, but I couldn't help yearn to go to him. Edward had become a big part in my life and as much as I hated to admit it I really cared for him. In fact I cared for him up unto the point of no return.

Currently my emotions for Edward were dancing around a thin line between caring for him and falling in love with him. Under the right circumstances that wouldn't be a problem, I'd welcome it, but given our delicate situation as of late falling in love with Edward would be a problem.

I would have to learn to push those feelings for him to the back of my mind and not acknowledge them until things have calmed down. Easier said than done I admit. Immediately I removed those thoughts from my head and quickly finished off my breakfast. There was no point over thinking something I shouldn't even be thinking about.

Renee and Carlisle bid me goodbye as I raced out the front door and towards my truck. Alice's car wasn't in the garage so I gathered that she went home first thing this morning. That made things a little better for me. However I knew it was going to be no picnic at school.

I parked my truck at the back of the lot and headed inside. Other students were milling about, none of them paying me any attention which I was thankful for. The form room was empty when I entered so I took a seat, brought out my ipod and book to read. For the next twenty minutes I was cut off from the twisted world I lived in.

There was a notice on my first class door saying that the teacher wasn't coming to class apparently so I had a double free. I wasn't going to waste that time by pissing about so I gathered up my things and headed to the library. The other students were heading off in different directions, none going the same way as me. In a way that was a good thing, the library would be quiet.

Not many students were about as I took a seat on one of the available couches.

"Hey." I looked up to see Rose giving me a weak smile. "Can I sit?"

"Sure." I picked up the books on the couch next to me and placed them on my lap.

Rose sat down and curled up into the armrest. I moved my body round so I could talk to her properly and then placed my books on the floor. She was pushing her long blonde hair back and looking round the library carefully, as though she was going to be jumped on any minute.

There were dark circles under her eyes and they also were bloodshot. I gather she got no sleep last night. Rose also smelt like cigarette smoke and booze. She didn't look or sound drunk but then again she could just hold her liquor really well.

"So you heard about Jasper and Alice?" Rose asked. No slur was evident in her voice.

"Yeah I did."

"She's not talking to me." Rose looked down into her lap. "I didn't ask for this. Hell, I didn't even know he was going to break up with her and certainly not so he could be with me. This has ruined things. You don't hate me though, right?"

I could see the terror in Rose's eyes. She clearly thought we were all going to abandon her. Granted, she never did have many friends but there were still some around her. This must have looked like total abandonment.

"Of course not." She was relieved by that.

"Okay, thanks."

"How are the others treating you?" I asked, braving her wrath if she thought I was suddenly being nosey.

"None of them are talking to me. Emmett doesn't want to get involved, Alice hates my guts and your boyfriend sent me a dirty when I tried to talk to her." My head snapped round to hers. Rose smirked at me. "God, you actually seem surprised that I knew."

"I am. How did you find out?"

"I've perfected the art of lying. You were just too obvious about it." I thought I had done a pretty good job actually.

"Alice bought my lies," I pointed out. Rose shook her head and chuckled humourlessly.

"Yeah she did but she doesn't lie well enough to know the signs."

"You're not going to tell anyone are you?"

"No I'm not. You guys obviously don't want people knowing so I'll keep it to myself. Unlike some people I'll not break my promise," she muttered.

"What?"

"Alice told Edward about me being raped."

"Yeah, I know but how did you find out?" I asked again. Rose grinned and wrapped her arms round herself, thinking about what to say.

"Your boy came to me first thing this morning and stuttered out an apology for being such a tool all these years. I asked him what he was smoking and he told me off for making jokes. After several threats he blurted out about how inconsiderate some of his comments had been and that he wishes he had known earlier so he could kick Royce's ass. It kinda gave the game away."

"How are you sure Alice told him?"

"Because you would have told him sooner if you were going to tell him at all. It's no big deal though; he's not running his mouth which helps."

"No, Edward wouldn't do that. I'm sure he wouldn't have been such a bastard to you if he had known."

"But I didn't want him knowing. He treats me like shit and I know we're on the same page. It's weird him acting all apologetic. I don't like it. I want the asshole back." I laughed and nodded.

"I'll be sure to tell him that."

"When you're talking to him again?" I opened my mouth and shut it again, frowning at Rose.

"How are you…?" She laughed and shook her head.

"He was bitching about it to Em. I'm glad you put your foot down with him. I doubt he'd listen to anyone else."

"He'd listed to Alice."

"No, he wouldn't. Alice has been trying to keep Edward in line for years and she's never managed it. That girl likes to have control. She's the puppet master. Her puppets are now revolting against her and she can't cope."

"What's going on with Jasper?" I asked, feeling like I could get away with asking that now she'd opened up a bit.

"He's confused. There's nothing more to it." Rose bit her lip and sighed. "I had a bad day yesterday. Some wanker at the grocery store grabbed my ass. Suffice to say, I freaked. Jasper came and calmed me down. He was still worried though. Last time something like that happened I drank until I had to have my stomach pumped.

"That's why we were so close when watching the movie. I had told him to go and sit with his girlfriend but he didn't want to. He wanted to keep me safe, in his arms and never let go. When he said that I thought he was joking. So imagine my surprise when he comes over last night telling me he broke up with Alice. I immediately laid into him for it. Jasper loves her but for some weird reason he thinks he loves me more.

"He spent four hours arguing with me about why we should be together and how his feelings for me had never changed. I tried to tell him that he'd fucked up but he wasn't having it. The boy has a hidden stubborn streak, almost as bad as Edward's." Rose rubbed away the tears in her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I can't be with Jasper. We have too much history. He helped through the hardest times in my life, and still does. But, every time we kiss I remember our first kiss where I burst into tears and wouldn't go near him. Being with him as more than friends hurts like hell cause I remember what I was back then. I'm trying to close that chapter of my life but he's not letting me.

"I know Jasper doesn't realise he's doing this but how we remember those events are completely different. He recalls falling in 'love' with me as each day passed that we spent together. I recall being scared shitless of him and terrified he'd rape me. When I did have enough trust to let him touch me I didn't think we'd go as far as to become something more.

"I don't love him and never will," she finally admitted. The tears were making their way down her cheeks but she didn't seem to care. Without thinking about it I reached out and pulled her into a hug. I wasn't sure how she'd respond to my physical touch but she didn't seem to mind.

Rose buried her head into my shoulder and silently sobbed. Her perfect mask of ice cold bitchiness had finally fallen from her face, revealing a terrified and scarred girl behind. I doubt she ever really got over what happened to her and that had to be rectified.

"You may slap me for saying this but as your friend I don't care. You need to get help Rose." Rather than I acknowledge that I'd said anything she calmed herself down and wiped her face. Her red puffy eyes gave the game away but at least she felt like her mask was back on.

"You should also tell your parents," I said, looking her straight in the face.

"No way in hell."

"Why not?"

"Cause that would be impossible to tell them. They'd never believe me."

"I'm sure they would. Something like that isn't taken lightly."

"They'd want to press charges and I'm not ready to go to the cops again."

"Will you ever be ready, Rose?" That question stunned her. Her silence answered my question. "You need to tell your parents and then get professional help to deal with this. What were you, fourteen when it happened? No one handles rape easily, especially not a kid. The only way to get past this is to start talking about it."

"I spoke to Jasper about it all."

"He was a kid at the time too and obviously had no idea how to truly help you. Please Rose, deal with this now so it doesn't fuck up anymore of your life," I begged.

"I can't tell my parents. They'd be horrified."

"You don't have to do it alone," I said, taking her hand as a sign of reassurance. She gave my hand a light squeeze and frowned.

"I'm scared."

"You don't have to be. Everything will be alright."

"You'd be there when I tell them?"

"If you wanted me to be there then yeah."

"I don't think I'll be able to tell them without you." Rose let go of my hand and began composing herself once more. "Look, I'd better get to class. Thanks for all your help."

"It's nothing. What are friends for?" She smiled and nodded before getting up and leaving. A lot had just happened so I understood her need to be alone and process it all.

Sighing I gathered up my things. With all those thoughts running through my head I wasn't going to get any work done. The bell rand and told me it was first break. The hallways were crowding up and I needed to just get some fresh air. When I went outside though the was another crowd of students. Spotting Emmett I walked up and then saw why everyone was gathering round.

"What the fuck are they doing?" I asked, shocked by the sight before me. A standoff was taking place between Edward and Jasper.

"Clearing the air," Emmett said shrugging. "It has to be done." The real fight hadn't started yet.

Edward shoved Jasper backwards, glaring daggers at him. The blond wasn't fazed in the least. Jasper chuckled humourlessly and threw his blazer and tie to the ground. Next he rolled up his sleeves and took off his watch. Edward repeated these motions until they were both standing opposite each other, fists at the ready.

There was something slightly erotic about this sight but I was not even going to think about that now. This was like a pissing contest with bad consequences.

I couldn't stand to watch but plenty of others could. Students gathered round in complete silence, eager to see who would come out on top. This was so fucking stupid. Both of them were going to get hurt and in a lot of shit from the school as well.

"Aren't you going to stop this?" Emmett shook his head.

"Nope. They should have done this years ago."

Before I had a chance to register what happened the two of them were on the ground scrapping. I was too far away to hear but they were both spitting remarks at each other. The sound of fists hitting flesh, shirts tearing, grunts of pain, bodies hitting the tarmac was too much. It had to stop but I knew stepping into that cleared circle would only cause more problems.

"Please Emmett, stop it."

"Sorry Bella I can't do that. If they stop now they'll just have to fight again at a later date, and they will fight again. This is just inevitable." He pulled me into his embrace. "It's nothing personal but I got to let them do this." He had my head pressed against his chest so I couldn't see what was going on.

When Emmett grunted in pain I looked up worried. He gave me a nervous look and shook his head, telling me that I wouldn't want to know what had just happened. I'd never really been close to Emmett but right then he was my saving grace. He was protecting me from the violence taking place and looking out for me.

Somehow the guy with the most fucked up home life was the most normal out of the lot of us. How the hell did that work?

Jasper and Edward's began getting louder but none of us understood what they were talking about. It was all a mess. The conversation they had to cause this fist fight played a big part in what they were going on about. If only we knew what it was?

"Almost over, Bella," Emmett said softly. I nodded my head against his chest and willed it to finish up quickly.

"You had enough yet?!" Jasper yelled. This was then followed by shoes scuffing along the ground and a grunt. The students watching made a collective cry of pain and I just knew that the two of them were tearing pieces out of each other. "Preach to me now motherfucker," Jasper spat.

"Eat shit you daft cunt." I cringed at their vulgar language and shook my head. The only reason I was hanging around was to assess the damage. "You done now?" Edward asked venomously.

"I didn't start this, you did but yeah, I'm done."

Emmett's grip loosened on me so I turned round to see the two of them in quite a state. There was dirt and dust on their once crisp clean shirts, buttons had been torn off, there was blood on the sleeves, and their faces, along with bodies no doubt, were bruising.

I winced at the sight of Edward and felt Emmett rub my back comfortingly. He could tell I was worried about them and was trying to look out for me, which I really appreciated.

Across the crowd I saw Alice step forward towards them. Edward and Jasper both looked at her as she gave them a tongue lashing about God only knows what. Jasper stepped forward, tried to touch her arm and was promptly slapped. Edward sniggered at that and was then hit on the arm by Alice. Apparently he wasn't getting off without being reprimanded either.

Next to step forward was Rose. Jasper practically rushed forward to her, putting his arms on her shoulders and from the looks of it, telling Rose to leave. Edward shook his head at something and Alice's breathing was picking up. The whole drama was unfolding in front of everyone.

Rose pushed Jasper away as Alice turned to leave. We were closer to hearing this and caught every word coming from the two of them. Rose reached out and grabbed Alice's arm to stop her from leaving.

"Alice you need to understand I don't-"

"Stay the fuck away from me!" Alice swore, glaring at her.

"Alice just let me explain-"

"No, I don't want your excuses. Now leave me the hell alone." She fought off Rose's grasp and left. The students parted to let her through and then a lot of them began to scatter.

"Shit, rector's coming," Emmett said next to me. I guess that was why people were moving away from the scene of the crime.

"Fix this," Rose yelled angrily at Jasper. He nodded slowly and opened his mouth to talk but Rose wasn't having any of it. "I don't want to hear it. Now fix this fucking mess."

She stormed off and Emmett went after her. If anyone could comfort her it would be him. I turned to see who else was going to storm off but neither Jasper nor Edward had the time.

"Mr Whitlock, Mr Cullen can you both follow me please?" The rector asked. He didn't look impressed at all and no wonder.

They guys nodded and walked after him, being led into the main office. I could guarantee they were going to be in so much shit. The whole situation was shit to be honest. Jasper and Edward clearly had issues, Rose and Jasper had issues, Alice and Jasper had issues, Alice and Rose had issues, Alice and Edward had issues, Edward and I had issues, and these issues were destroying the twisted normality that we lived in.

Shaking my head and sighing I went back inside the school for next class. It wasn't even lunch and already fists had been thrown. Something told me this was going to be one hell of a day.


	18. Chapter 18: Normality, What Normality?

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Eighteen: Normality, What Normality?**

The bell above me rang, signalling next class, as I traipsed through the hallways on my way there. The fight between Jasper and Edward caused such a shift in our twisted group's dynamics. I mean, who knew what was going to happen from then on. It certainly wouldn't be how it was before, and in a way that was sad as things were finally starting to look up.

Sighing, I entered my class and took a seat in the front row. Early on I'd learnt that this particular teacher liked to call on the ones in the back, and never the ones in the front. So, I settled myself down for a double period of sleep when Alice walked in.

I was very surprised to see her, as she didn't take this class, but didn't show it. She gave me a small smile and sat down next to me. To say I was bewildered was an understatement. Glancing at her I raised my eyebrows in question.

"The teacher has the hots for me, like he's going to complain that I'm in his class." I rolled my eyes and slumped back in my chair. Apparently I wasn't going to get sleep after all.

"What can I do for you Alice?"

"You hate me, don't you?"

"No, why?" What was with folk asking me that question today? First Rose and now Alice. Who would be next, Emmett?

"Because you like Edward, and I'm a threat," Alice answered and I couldn't help but narrow my eyes at her.

"Excuse me?" I said it in the least threatening voice possible. Alice laughed and shook her head.

"I'm not a threat to you Bella. Please, like I would date Edward," she said as though that was the stupidest thing she'd heard.

"Why not, what's wrong with him?" I couldn't help but ask. For some reason, I felt the need to defend him.

"Nothing, he's just not my type, Jasper is. Anyway, I just wanted you to know, nothing is going on between Edward and I. He may have had something for me in the past but seriously, since you pitched up it's all been directed at you. That boy is crazy about you, and hell, he doesn't even know it."

I didn't believe her, but why would I? To me, she was still a 'threat'. There were no ill feelings towards her though as she didn't, and still doesn't, know Edward and I are together. However, that doesn't stop me from doubting their so called platonic relationship. They were just too chummy for my liking but once that changed I'd have no issue with Alice.

I expected her to leave once she had said her bit but instead Alice stayed. After a couple of minutes of silence between us she spoke up.

"Have you spoken to Rose today?" There was no malice in her voice, just genuine curiosity.

"Yeah, we spoke earlier."

"How did that go?" I looked over at Alice, to read her emotions. She was looking straight ahead at the board, waiting for my answer. Her mask was on and I was getting a front row seat to her act of composure.

That's all these guys did, wear masks. Rose wore one to keep everyone at bay so no one could get close and hurt her. Jasper wore a mask to conceal his true feelings and also with Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Edward wore a mask of arrogance and swagger to hide the small boy abandoned by his mother. Emmett, well my guess would be that he didn't wear one, and just showed his emotions as he pleased. I couldn't decide if I wore one though.

"It went okay," I replied finally.

"Okay?"

"What are you fishing for Alice?" I asked bluntly. "What are you hoping to hear, cause I doubt you'll get it."Sighing Alice dropped the act sooner than I thought she would and turned to me.

"Did she know Jasper was going to break up with me?"

"No, she didn't have a clue, and went mental when she found out." Alice nodded and I plucked up the courage to ask a question of my own. "How do you feel about Jasper now?"

"I still love him. I know, how pathetic, especially seeing as he wants nothing to do with me. I just can't forget what we had and how much it meant. Well, meant to me."

"It's not pathetic Alice. I'm certain I'd be the same in your position." She just shrugged.

"So he wants Rose, Edward wants you, who does that leave me with? Emmett?"

"What's wrong with Emmett?" Again I wanted to defend them as these guys weren't all that bad, and hell Alice should know that.

"Other than the fact I see him as an older brother, nothing. You see him the same way. The only person who doesn't is Rose and she's-"

"Not with Jasper," I added in before she had a chance to finish her sentence.

"How do you know, for real? She could just be saying that."

"Alice, you do remember who Rose is right? She's not changed just because the shit hit the fan. She's still Rosalie Hale, ice queen and bitch to all, except her friends."

"Exactly Bella, except her friends. Rose and I aren't friends anymore!"

"And whose doing was that?" I asked and was met with silence. "Come on Alice, answer the question!"

"Fine, I did that. I didn't want to be friends with her. Can you blame me though? She stole my boyfriend, the guy I was in love with."

"She didn't steal him. I think she did you a favour." Alice immediately frowned at that, not liking what I had said.

"What? How?"

"Jasper stopped loving you some time ago it seems. I wouldn't want to be completely devoted to a guy only to find out he just likes me in return. Plus, she didn't steal him, he walked away willingly. Rose did nothing to encourage his behaviour. Maybe you should have been stricter with him."

"What like you are being with Edward? You think I don't know that he's backing off from me because you asked him to?"

"I don't care if you know or not. Frankly Alice, you're blaming the wrong person for this."

"I'm not to blame!" she cried angrily at me, enraged by the thought.

"I never said you were. Jasper is. Jasper is to blame for all of this. You want to hate someone, hate him. He left you. He broke your heart. He doesn't want you around. That's not Rose. She didn't leave you, betray you or tell you to leave her alone. That was all his doing. Open your bloody eyes and see that he's not the God you think he is!" Alice didn't say anything else after that. I think I gave her a lot to think about.

Just like she had said, the teacher didn't care at all that she was in his class, once he turned up that is. He was at least twenty minutes late and that pissed me off. If he had been on time I wouldn't have had to have that conversation.

For the rest of the lesson I doodled on my page and watched as the teacher kept eyeing up Alice's legs under her desk. He was definitely a pervert but she didn't seem to care at all. When the bell rang she bounded out of her chair without a glance back. I assumed she wasn't happy with what I had said.

Rolling my eyes I went to lunch. Emmett was standing by the doors with Rose, chatting quietly. They both greeted me, Rose a bit half heartedly, and then we went in. I didn't know where Alice had gone but really didn't care.

We took a seat and began talking about nothing in particular. Emmett was relaying details to Rose about a car he was attempting to build from scratch. He wanted to know if she'd go over and maybe help him with it. From then on I tuned them out and began surveying the lunch hall instead.

Jasper and Edward were nowhere to be seen, which I expected, and Alice was sitting with another set of girls who were all in her drama class. She saw me looking over but just turned her head away. I expected that too, but still, I hadn't done anything wrong other than voice my opinions.

Emmett finished his lunch first and excused himself to go and write an essay that was due next lesson. I knew he wouldn't get it finished but with that charming smile, dimples and all, he wouldn't get in trouble for not having it done in time.

With his departure that left Rose and I alone, and Alice's gaze didn't leave our table. Rose shook her head and returned to eating her food when she saw who was watching. I tried not to do much of anything other than eat my lunch.

As I was about to leave to get my books Rose reached out and lightly touched my arm. She looked all vulnerable again, like she was in the library earlier that day. I had a funny feeling I knew what she was going to ask or at least talk about, and it turned out I was right.

"Bella, do you think you could come with me after school? I know I need to tell my parents and if I don't do it now I just won't do it at all."

"Of course I'll come Rose," I said smiling softly at her. "I'll follow you home, okay?"

"Yeah, and thanks for this." Nodding I walked away and emotionally prepared myself for that rollercoaster.

By the time the end of the day did come around I was knackered and wanted to sleep. However, I knew I had to go with Rose. She did need to handle what happened and the only way to do that was to seek proper help. Her parents could get her that no problem.

In the car park she shot me a soft, worried smile as she got into her vehicle. I followed and drove behind her the whole way to her house. Much like the others in our little twisted group, she had a lovely home.

Rose parked her car and signalled for me to park in her driveway. I did so and then got out, walking over to where she was standing, running her hands through her hair anxiously. Trying to calm her down I sent her a reassuring smile and rubbed her back.

"You alright?"

"I don't think I can do this," Rose said instantly.

"You can and you will. This needs to happen, its better not to put it off any longer. Give yourself a chance to heal those wounds permanently." She nodded and bit her lip.

"You're right. Okay." I watched as she prepared to face her parents. Obviously this was going to be exceedingly hard on her.

Rose opened the door and dropped her bag by the bottom of the stairs. There was a strong smell of baked goods coming from the kitchen that had me practically drooling. I followed in behind her and watched as she removed her school blazer.

"Smells good, huh?" Rose asked, smirking at my facial expression.

"Yeah, it really does."

"My mother loves to cook, which completely baffles me but whatever. I think she likes to spoil my father for when he gets in. He won't be home for another few hours. Anyway, let's get this over with."

"You not going to wait for your father then?"

"No, she can tell him." I wasn't going to push her decision as she was doing brilliantly to get this far so I just nodded. Rose sighed and then bit her lip again. I thought she needed a bit of encouragement and safety so entwined my arm with hers and then we walked towards the kitchen.

"Evening Rosalie…oh and Bella too, nice to see you again," Mrs Hale said, smiling kindly at me. She actually didn't seem as scary as she was last time we met.

"Evening."

"Mum, can you just stop baking for a minute?" Rose asked, leading me over to the breakfast bar area and sitting down. Mrs Hale nodded but didn't actually stop baking. She then began to yammer on about God only knows what. Rose wasn't happy.

"Mum, please, this is important, can you just stop?" Mrs Hale looked at her daughter, who was now standing. She had stood up to force her point across.

"Alright, Rosalie, what is it? What's important?" I watched as Mrs Hale's eyes kept glancing back and forth between Rose and me, and our entwined hands. This totally looked like Rose was about to tell her mum she was changing her sexual orientation, and I was the girl that convinced her to do so.

"I…I…I was…" Rose turned to me floundering.

"It's okay, you can tell me anything honey," Mrs Hale prompted.

"I can't say it," Rose whispered to me, silent tears running down her cheeks. She turned into me and I hugged her, trying to spit out the words she couldn't.

"Rosalie what's going on?" her mother asked almost frantic.

"She was…was…" The words were stuck in my throat and I didn't know what to do, especially with Rose hugging me so tightly.

"I was raped," Rose whispered, just loud enough to hear and then flew out of my arms and into her mother's. I watched as Mrs Hale's face seemed to crumble when she registered what Rose had said. Tears were streaming down her face she comforted her daughter. Not wanting to impose I left the kitchen quickly and went outside.

Inside I heard Mrs Hale and Rose talking amongst themselves with a lot of tears and sobbing. That must have been really hard to hear. Glancing around and noticing nowhere to sit I just sat on the doorstep, rubbing my hands over my legs. It was getting a little colder but nothing too drastic.

I'm not sure how long I sat there but eventually I heard footsteps behind me. Mrs Hale sat down next to me and then hugged me. I was very shocked by this action as I was not expecting it in the least.

"Thank you, for being such a good friend to her in such a short time. You're always welcome here Bella."

"How is she?" I asked, pulling my sleeves down over my hands.

"Sleeping at the moment, I had to give her something to calm her down. I still can't believed that happened to her, and we never knew. She's lived with that for so long." The tears appeared back in her eyes but this time they didn't fall. "I can't thank you enough for convincing her to tell us. We can now get her the help she needs."

"That's what I was hoping would happen."

"I've already called a friend of ours and Rose is going to go and see her for the next few weeks. She won't be back at school for a bit." I nodded, thinking that was probably best, especially given the dramas currently taking place.

"While she's gone will I still be able to be in contact with her?" I asked, not wanting to abandon Rose, or have it look that way.

"Of course, I think she'd really like that. Once things are settled I'll make sure she calls you, alright?"

"Yes, thank you."

An SUV roared up the street and parked right in front of the house. I recognised the driver as Mr Hale. Deciding now was time to make my exit I stood up, along with Mrs Hale who was looking worriedly at her husband.

"I hope she's okay, and please tell her to call anytime she needs something," I said, brushing the dirt off of me and fiddling with my keys.

"I will, and again, thank you." Mrs Hale hugged me once more and then patted my back softly as I walked away.

I got in my truck and pulled out of their driveway, all the while watching Mr and Mrs Hale talking on the front lawn. He was still smiling so I gathered she hadn't told him just yet. I turned away and drove home knowing that things with Rose might actually look up and that in itself was a great thing. She could finally be rid of that prick Royce.

By the time I got home I expected everyone else to be ther. Instead the place was empty. Carlisle could have been working late but I doubt that was it. If my mother wasn't in by now she was definitely with him and he would definitely be with Edward at the school.

First, I went upstairs and changed out of my school uniform before going and getting something to eat. I was pretty damn hungry after smelling Mrs Hale's fine baking earlier. There wasn't much in the house though but I did manage to find something to eat. While it was cooking I took out my homework and then began on that.

As I was sitting at the table, reading over the assigned text and having my dinner I heard the front door open. Walking into my line of sight were Edward, Carlisle and Renee. The former two looked pissed as hell. I could only bet that the meeting with the rector and the headmaster did not go well.

They all walked into the kitchen where I was and I finally had chance to take in Edward's range of injuries from earlier. God, he looked rough. There were grazes on his face, arms, hands, bruising around his eyes, and I was pretty sure he had more bruising under his torn shirt.

In all the time he'd been away he wasn't cleaned up one bit. His trousers were completely filthy with dust, his shoes all scuffed, the shirt was torn open at the top, his sleeves were fraying round the cuffs, and there was a mixture of blood, sweat and dirt on him.

Immediately I got this overwhelming feeling to run and clean him up, kiss him better. Scolding myself I folded the corner of the page in my book to mark where I had gotten to and waited for what was about to transpire before my very eyes. They clearly had no problem with me being in the room, and I was kinda glad about that as I wanted to know how much trouble he got in to.

"Despicable behaviour Edward. I did not raise a hooligan, and you will be punished for such acts." The way Carlisle was banging on it was like Edward had been caught having sex in a nunnery or something, not just a fight at school.

Edward didn't look fazed in the least. He shrugged and scratched his exposed chest, leaving a red angry mark.

"I guess I'll go pack then." His eyes met mine briefly and it felt like a silent goodbye. My heart started thumping wildly and I could feel the tears coming on. If he left…fuck it, I'd go with him. He meant a lot more to me than I realised but presented with the prospect of him leaving was far too much to take. I'd fight for his stay here if I had to.

"We're not sending you away, honey," Renee said, looking positively frightful at the idea. "Oh no, we wouldn't do that, would we Carlisle?" Her gaze fell on her husband but he was still glaring at his son.

"It's okay Renee." Edward offered a weak smile and turned towards the door, my mind and heart screaming out for him.

"No, Edward. You're not being sent to your mother's. That's too easy a punishment. You'll stay here and face up to your actions, deal with the consequences." It was blatantly clear that this was not what Carlisle had intended to happen.

From the looks of things he was definitely prepared to send his one and only baby boy away due to his bad behaviour. Frankly, that was beyond me. It was like getting a puppy and taking it to the pound if it pissed on the carpet once.

"Well if you're not getting rid of me, what's my punishment?" Rejection was written all over his face and I was struggling to hold back my emotions. He looked so defeated by his father's plan that I wanted to whisk him out the room and do anything to take the pain away.

"Car keys," Carlisle demanded in a no nonsense voice. Edward sighed and shook his head, hunting them out his pocket and placing them on the counter. "The spares aswell Edward."

"They're upstairs."

"Then go get them." Edward looked like he was biting his tongue as he walked out of the room and ascended the stairs.

I sat there worried over what was going to happen next, and with my heart crying out to my boy upstairs. Yes, I was upset with him and yes, I was hurt by his no boundaries relationship with Alice but right now that seemed to have faded into the background.

Edward came back down the stairs and slid the keys to his waiting father. Carlisle pocketed both sets and then nodded for his son to take a seat next to me. I moved my chair a bit, giving him room as he sat down.

"You're piano's going. You're privileges are gone. No internet, no phone, no television, no gaming, no friends over, no going out, no girls, no sex, no life basically. You'll do as you're told and that will be it for the next two months."

"Two months?! I only got suspended for a week! This is fucking bullshit," Edward cried, standing up and flailing his arms in rage.

"You're not eighteen yet, so while you live under this roof you will obey by my rules. If, when you're eighteen, you want to stay here same applies. Don't like it, leave." Edward opened his mouth to reply but he was cut off. "Sit down, Edward," Carlisle ordered, getting his son to do as he was told. "Its two months and any bitching about that I'll make it three months. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand what a cruel bastard you've turned into." I couldn't help it; my hand shot out and squeezed his thigh to shut him up. Carlisle shook his head at Edward and turned to Renee.

"Shall we?" My mother nodded but I could see she was not happy at all with what had just happened. The two of them left the kitchen and went upstairs.

"You got suspended?" I asked once they were out of earshot.

"Yeah, Jasper too."

"What were you fighting about? From what I could hear it certainly wasn't about Alice or Rose."

"No, it wasn't directly about them, but don't worry about it."

"You're not going to tell me?" I asked, looking straight at him. Edward turned and shook his head.

"Nope, I'm not going to tell you. Now, excuse me while I go and salvage what's left of my room, no doubt that sod is taking away half of my things." I nodded and waited for him to leave. "Eh, Bella, I need you to let go of my thigh," he pointed out.

"Oh god, right, yeah sorry." I took my hand back immediately and probably blushed bright red. Edward chuckled and patted my shoulder on his way past.

The first thing I felt was relief, Edward wasn't being sent away. In my opinion, Carlisle was coming down too hard on Edward and just had no patience for him. Their relationship really seemed strained and I couldn't help but think my mother and I were the cause of that.

The following day at school was lonely to say the least. Jasper and Edward, having been suspended, weren't there and either was Rose. Alice still wasn't acknowledging me and I had given up hope with her. She needed to grow up as far as I was concerned. So it really was just Emmett and me.

During that time I got to know the big bear better. He was alright with me knowing about his father and seemed to not have a problem discussing it. Em was just very trusting and it was refreshing. Everyone else had their guard up.

The day after that Alice didn't show up for school. I don't get why she didn't but I gather she must have had her reasons. Emmett figured she was hiding from her problems and that did seem likely. The school was still talking about her break up with Jasper and how he picked Rose over her. Hearing gossip about you all day must get tiring.

At home, things with Edward were just as usual. We weren't avoiding each other or anything, just taking time out. I did miss the physical contact and frequently lost myself in thoughts of touching his hair, kissing his jaw and generally being with him.

However, despite missing him, I wasn't ready to open myself up for the pain that dating him properly would surely entail. He had backed things off with Alice, and that I was glad to see. Without any prompting she returned the house key she had. It was like she wanted us to be together, and was playing matchmaker, or being the puppet master as Rose had once described it.

Among all that tension was still high between father and son. They just weren't getting on at all and that was sparking problems between Renee and Carlisle. Edward played the role of uncaring teenager brilliantly and acted like nothing was bothering him. It really was though, that much was obvious, and I wanted to be there to help him.

Three days after Edward had been suspended the two of us were alone in the kitchen and I couldn't help but ask about his father and him.

"What's going on with you and Carlisle?"

"He's been chafing my nuts since you moved in. Right now, he thinks our relationship is of an inappropriate nature," Edward replied, leaning against the counter casually.

"Well he's right," I pointed out.

"Maybe so but I'm not telling him that. Plus, it's not anymore. You won't let me anywhere near you."

"You know why." Edward shrugged nonchalantly, showing indifference to the topic. "Don't be like that, please Edward." He met my eyes and nodded softly.

"Sorry, I'm just…not in the right state of mind at the moment."

"Oh I know that, you've been all over the place lately." He grinned a little and nodded again.

"That I have."

"And I can't be helping any, what with putting the brakes on our relationship."

"No but I understand why you did, and in a way I'm thankful. Alice and I have a close friendship but sometimes it does feel like the noose is tightening round my neck with her. With you, I don't get that so it's a nice change." I smiled back at him.

"Will you get annoyed if I ask you about us?"

"No, go ahead. I'd actually like some clarification."

"On what?"

"Whether or not I can be around you. I don't know if you want me in the same room as you or what."

"No I don't care about that. I just don't want you initiating anything physical."

"But it's okay if you initiate something?" he asked, licking his lips as he looked at mine.

"Yes, cause by then I'll be satisfied that we can really do this. But to begin with I think we should just focus on us."

"How do you mean?" he asked as I walked a little closer to him.

"If they have problems then it's their problem, not ours. If we keep getting involved then we're not going to make it very far if at all."

"I don't want that, I want you so if that's what it takes, I'll do it." I nodded and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you."

"But you still need time?"

"Yeah, it's too soon. Know this though, I'm crazy about you. I just hope I'm not going to regret giving you my trust." _And my heart._

"You won't regret it, I promise."

"Your promise doesn't mean anything to me Edward, but thanks for the gesture." With that I left the kitchen. Asking about the situation with Carlisle somehow turned into something much more important: us. I actually wasn't ready for that conversation but clearly Edward was and had no problem with just asking away.

From then on things did get a little bit easier. We were hanging out a little more and just acting like friends. Granted, the thoughts I was having about him were a million miles away from being just friends but outward he had no clue.

The only times we didn't get along were when he was in a foul mood from having nothing to do. He was trying to do as much as he was told so Carlisle would lessen his sentence but that just didn't seem to be working.

Six days after Jasper and Edward's fight I finally got a call from Rose. I was watching a movie in the living room when my phone started going off upstairs. There was no way for me to hear it but Edward did and kindly brought it down for me, smiling softly as he handed it to me.

"Hi," I said, answering it quickly before they gave up hope that I was there.

"Hey Bella, it's Rose." I smiled and sat down. She sounded much happier.

"Hi Rose, how are things?"

"Alright I guess, could be better. I never had a chance to thank you for your help so thanks."

"Don't mention it." I sat back down and turned the sound down as Edward disappeared from the room. "How's it going anyway?"

"The doctor's okay, nothing too thrilling."

"Have you told anyone who did that to you?" I asked carefully.

"No, not yet. We're working on that, among other things."

"Well as long as you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm coming back to school so am fine. Just needed some time off to wallow in self-pity." I thought she was joking but from the tone of her voice she was deadly serious. "How's school anyway, I hear Alice isn't going in and the guys got suspended?

"Yeah, they did and she's not. I don't know why yet but no doubt we will find out soon enough. So how'd you hear about that?" I gathered she hadn't been in contact with many folk given no one really talks to her.

"Emmett," she answered. "He's been coming by a recently, last few days."

"And how's that going?" I asked, remembering that they had previously kissed.

"It's not really. We're just friends and I think that's all we'll ever be. Em seems to think I'm madly in love with Jasper despite my tirade at him the other day."

"I'm sorry Rose."

"There's nothing for you to be sorry for, you didn't do this, you're just stuck with the job of cleaning it up. Have things changed with you and Edward yet or are you guys still taking a bit of a break?" she asked, clearly wanting the attention off of her.

"No we're still taking a break."

"Why, haven't things changed with Alice?"

"No they have, I'm just not ready yet to welcome him with open arms. Meh, I just need some more time."

"And is he alright with that?"

"I guess he has to be. So far he's been okay with it, I don't think that's going to change."

"Well hey, hope it works out. One of us should at least be happy." I wanted to tell her that eventually she would be but I didn't think that would go down very well. "Anyway, I'm going to go and let you finish what you were doing, just wanted to check in."

"Yeah it was good to hear from you. I guess I'll see you at school." With that we said our goodbyes and I went back to watching my movie.

Edward came in a few minutes after the phone call ended and took a seat, offering me some of his food as he did so. I shook my head and curled up some more into the arm of the couch.

"How's Rose?" he asked, keeping his eyes on his plate the whole time.

"Getting better, I think." He nodded and swallowed his mouthful.

"Good."

"Yeah, it is. She told me you apologised to her." I commented, waiting to see his reaction.

"Em…yeah I did or at least tried to. She didn't want my apology," Edward said, frowning.

"She doesn't like you being nice to her."

"What, why?"

"I don't know, something about it being weird. When you're a dick to her she likes it." I shrugged not understanding the situation at all. "So I guess, go back to being a dick and things will be better."

"Oh, alright. I'm pretty sure I can do that."

"Thanks, I know she'd like it." Edward nodded and brushed his hand on his jeans as he stood up.

"I'll leave you to it, pretty sure the Dictator would freak if he saw me within five feet of the television while it's on." I couldn't help but smirk at the nickname he'd given Carlisle. It did seem rather fitting, especially when Carlisle wasn't listening to reason.

Edward departed shortly afterwards and I was left alone again. The need to put things back to normal was getting stronger and stronger every day. It wouldn't be long before I wanted my boy back completely, regardless of how much had really changed with Alice. If he was willing to change so much for me I knew he wouldn't piss it up on purpose.

When Monday rolled around the guys were back at school. The only one who was still absent was Alice. No one apart from Edward had spoken to her and all he was saying on the matter was that she needed some time. I think it had finally hit her how much she'd lost. I know that if I was in her situation I'd need some time too.

Emmett was on guard all day as the other two were on the defence all the time. You could see it in the way they moved and held themselves. Both were ready for a verbal or physical attack from the other. It seemed rather ridiculous to me, until I caught them arguing in a spare classroom over lunch.

I had been on my way to my locker when I saw them standing at opposite ends of the room, glaring at one another. Stopping I stood back from the doorway, ready to go in if I had to, and just listened.

"You're a fucking hypocrite, Jasper. I think you've got your head shoved so far up your ass that you don't even realise how bad this is."

"I didn't cause this so don't put the blame on me."

"Well I'm not the one who broke up with Alice for Rose so it sure as hell isn't my fault. Did you ever stop to think about the damage you would do?"

"I've not done anything wrong." Edward shook his head laughing.

"That's not what I asked. In ending your relationship you've torn apart friendships, forced out issues that people weren't ready to handle and killed any chance of two people who were actually starting to like each other being together."

"Who?" he asked curiously.

"What do you care?" Edward asked, glaring at Jasper. "You ruined their chances anyway."

"Don't put that shit on me, Edward. I'm not being the scapegoat for every little problem we all have. Next thing you'll tell me is that I'm to blame for Rose getting raped."

The two of them stopped arguing when Edward caught sight of me standing within hearing distance. Jasper left first, shaking his head and going off into the school. Edward came over to me and ran his hands through his hair.

"Don't tell Emmett, alright?"

"Why not?" I asked.

"He'd be pissed that we're fighting."

"No wonder," I muttered. Edward clearly heard it as his facial features softened.

"I'm sorry about this." I shrugged not knowing what to say and waited for him to continue. "It'll stop eventually, I promise."

"S'okay." He held my gaze a moment then lifted his right hand and cupped my face, gently caressing my cheek. Turning my head into his hand I welcomed his affections. Edward leaned forward and I thought he was going to kiss me on the lips but that was not the case.

"Miss you," he whispered after kissing my cheek. I couldn't help but melt on the inside. Oh how I had missed him too. But before I could say anything Edward had walked away.

That encounter left me in a daze all day. I stopped caring about Alice and what was going on between them. He wanted to be with me and for some crazy reason I was putting that off. What the fuck was wrong with me?

I promised myself that when I got home I'd tell him that I've had all the time I needed and that I want him back, all of him. I wanted his kisses, his lustful looks, his sexy grin and I wanted to be able to claim him as mine. Edward Cullen, _my _boyfriend.

God that sounded good.

After school I walked out of the building and was going over to my car when I caught sight of Edward, Jasper and Emmett standing spread apart on the grass. Curiosity got the better of me and I walked over to see what was going on. This time I wouldn't stand back and let them fight again, it just wasn't worth it. Plus, Edward had just started looking better again.

Rose seemed to have the same thought I did and we walked over together in time to hear Edward ranting and raving at Jasper. I don't know what their problem was with each other but it had to get resolved cause their constant fighting was driving me mad.

"You've gone power fucking mad! Don't you see what you did was ten times worse that what I did? I was a complete fucker to her but at least I didn't string her along for years until she was in love with me before fucking off to be with her best friend. You're a low, selfish bastard Jasper. But of course, no warning for you-" Jasper lunged forward at this and Emmett ploughed between them.

"Will you two stop this shit already! Fucking hell, I'm tired of it. Alright, Jasper you're pissed with Edward. Edward, you want to beat him silly. We get it so stop with the damn fighting. Don't you see what you two are doing?! Look at the devastation you two are causing. Jasper, you've screwed Alice over and dumped her like she was nothing for Rose, ruining their friendship in the process. Edward, you know who you hurt in all this."

"If you're talking about Bella I'm well aware of their relationship," Jasper butted in, looking grossed out by it. "She's your fucking step-sister, how sick can you get?" he asked rhetorically.

"What, and you're any better? Fuck Alice but cry out Rose's name when you cum, that's much better isn't it?!" Edward yelled back. Rose looked completely horrified upon hearing that.

"Like you've not imagined Alice when you've been with other girls."

"Oh I have, and I can admit that but at least when I'm with a girl I get their name right, especially when I've dated them for two fucking years, you prick!"

"But that's never happened for you Edward, because no one wants you. No girl's willing to hang around long enough, even Bella's trying to bail on you now. Your mother didn't want you either, she left without a care in the world for her worthless son and your father sure as hell wishes you weren't around. So what does that tell us?" Edward laughed humourlessly and shook his head.

"It tells us that you're a bigger wanker than I thought you were. Quite frankly, you can just go fuck yourself."

"Are you two done now?" Emmett asked, one of his hands on Jasper's chest and the other outstretched in case Edward made a move.

"Oh yeah, I'm done," Edward said, shaking his head still. He turned to Alice and nodded to Rose and me before beginning to walk away. "I'm out of here."

"Don't get hit by a car on your way home," Rose called, waiting to see what he'd say and relieving a bit of the tension. Edward smirked and gave her a leering grin.

"If I do I'll let you suck me off to make me feel better, how does that sound?"

"Eat shit." He chuckled and wandered back to his car. Glancing over at Rose I saw she was smiling.

"Just like old times there I guess. Now we just need to fix all the other shit," Rose said to me, linking my arm with hers and walking us back to the cars.

The 'other shit' as she had put it was gradually beginning to sort itself out. However, we wouldn't get anywhere if Jasper and Edward didn't resolve their issues with each other. I had to find out what that was and then we stood a chance of things going back to normal. Though, with this lot, what was normal?


	19. Chapter 19: Just Relax And Let Go

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Nineteen: Just Relax And Let Go**

I went home on the Monday Edward had come back to school and was in a rather happy mood. It all had to do with the fact that hopefully I would be getting my boy back. Emmett had given him a lift home from school and no doubt he received a tongue lashing during that trip. Though I think Emmett would also have done some damage control after Jasper's hurtful words. What an effing douche bag.

Walking into the house I could hear rustling in the kitchen. Rather than see Edward I was met with Renee who, from the looks of things, was trying to cook. Wincing I shook my head and quickly alleviated a house fire by taking the dish cloth off the gas she was about to use to boil water. Too much water in the pot might I add.

"Mum, please, we've talked about this. Step away from the kitchen and order take-out." My mother laughed and swatted me off.

"Come on Bella, this can't be that hard."

"No mum, it is. Stop now and save us all." Rolling her eyes she thankfully did stop.

"Fine, but you can apologise to Carlisle for me not having his home cooked meal ready."

"If you were cooking it I think he'll be thanking me. Now, go make yourself useful in a less dangerous part of the house."I grabbed a bottle of water out the fridge and made my way into the hallway.

"Oh Bella, why don't you come and join me, just for a minute?" Glancing up the stairs I couldn't see the harm in holding off a few more minutes.

"Coming mum."

Renee had set up fort in the dining room. It was still too close to the kitchen but I wasn't going to say anything to piss her off. Left out from earlier were sheets of paper and pamphlets for about a million different charities the Cullens, or rather we, would be donating to at some point. Renee had the task of picking this month's three charities to receive a generous lump sum in the Doc's name.

"So honey, what's up with you?" Renee pried. I took a seat across from her and propped my legs up on the chair next to mine.

"Nothing."

"What, no young men caught your interest at that school of yours?" I grimaced in disgust but tried to hide it behind my water bottle.

"No, not yet." I did not want to talk guys with my mother. It always felt like she was trying to marry me off to some rich bachelor so I could carry on her lifestyle of sucking men dry for their money.

"Oh, that's a shame. I'm sure there are plenty of suitable men out there. Do you need me to find you someone?"

"No, absolutely not." I had Edward, well I was hoping that I still had Edward, if he'd take me.

"But Bella, it's not good to have no opportunities lined up." Those opportunities she spoke of were simply rich, foolish guys who could easily be conned into a marriage. I wouldn't put it past her to tell me to get pregnant so I could marry one of them.

"Why are you encouraging this?" I asked, finally getting ticked off.

"Because you're always alone. Don't you want to be happy?"

"I am happy, and I certainly don't need a man to make me happy."

"What about money?"

"That won't make me happy either. Can you honestly say that the five ex husbands and their cash made you happy?"

"Now Bella-"

"No, answer the question. Oh wait, you won't because then you have to admit to being wrong. The marriages were all for nothing, their 'love' was for nothing, and the only things you got from it was a bad reputation and shit loads of cash. Did that make you happy?"

"I may have mistakes but you can learn from them."

"Oh right, yeah I'm sure I can. This is what I've learnt, when choosing the first husband make sure he's rich as fuck, can easily be manipulated, and is practically falling into his grave. That way you'll have enough money for the divorce lawyer if you need it, can convince him not to sign a prenup cause you two will be together 'forever', and there is a good chance he could cop it leaving you with everything," I ranted. "Sleeping with dirty old men has always been my lifetime ambition and with your helping hand I can see I'm going to be a pro!"I flung myself from the chair and headed straight for the door, pissed as hell.

"Bella wait!" Despite how angry I was there was a part of me that needed to hear what she was going to say. I stopped in the doorway with my back to her. There was no way I could face her at that time.

"This time it's different." I snorted and shook my head.

"It's always different."

"No, it's not. I use to tell you it was so you wouldn't worry or stress. This time it really is different. With Carlisle things are better. I never once sought him out as my future husband but we just kinda happened. I fell in love with him Bella and I have no intention of getting a divorce. Hell, we even signed a prenup agreement!"

"I thought you hadn't," I said, turning round slowly.

"No, we did. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me and by doing that it worked. Plus, do you really think I would start a family with someone I didn't love? We're trying for a baby Bella, although rather unsuccessfully. It's been two months and granted, I'm not as fertile as I use to be but still. I do wish I was pregnant by now."

This was a completely new side to Renee, one I had never seen before. She never spoke about love and expanding the family. It was just never on the cards. I always expected to be an only child but obviously that was going to change, or at least they were attempting to change it.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, unsure what I was apologising.

"Don't be honey, you were honest about my life and I'm thankful to know how you really feel. I'm just sorry things couldn't have been a little bit different, though I am happy to have met Carlisle. He makes me just as happy as your father did." I nodded, not certain what to say to that.

"I'm going to go." I made my move towards the door only to hear Renee's voice again.

"I really am sorry Bella if I disappointed you as a mother."

"Don't be, we all fuck up." I shrugged and left, heading straight for the stairs.

Renee was free to live her life how she pleased. Granted, I wasn't happy with some of her decisions but there was nothing that could be done about that now. It was all in the past and maybe after that conversation we could look forward, with a fresh start. Who knows, that might have just made our relationship stronger.

While I had strengthened the mother and daughter bond I had almost ruined the boyfriend and girlfriend one. Taking a break seemed like the right thing to do, what with Edward being so close to Alice, but I shouldn't have punished him for their friendship.

As I took the stairs I planned what I was going to say to convince him for another chance. Okay, we hadn't broke up but this really felt like a getting back together speech. I was nervous like it was one too. After a few calming breaths I placed my hand on Edward's bedroom door knob and walked inside.

"Hey," I said, shutting the door behind me and taking him in.

He was sprawled out across the bed on his stomach. Slowly he lifted his head and then rolled onto his back when he saw it was me. His school shirt rode up over his stomach as half the buttons were undone and I got a nice view of his abs.

Rather than smirking like the Edward I was use to would when he caught me ogling his body the Edward before me sighed and shut his eyes. He looked so sad for some reason and I wanted to know why. Walking over I sat myself on the edge of the bed next to him. Ever so softly I caressed his cheek with my hand and then cupped his face in my hand.

"What's wrong? Talk to me." He turned his head into my hand, much like I had done earlier to him, and then kissed my wrist. I managed to pull him up so he was sitting against the headboard but he still looked beaten. My planed speech was out the window, I just had to comfort him. There was no way I could project all that on him when he was in this state.

The only way I could really think of comforting him was with my body. I let go of his cheek and kicked off my shoes before straddling his lap. Edward barely moved but rather looked close to breaking point. I shuffled up his body a bit, trying to get as close to him as I could, and kissed his cheeks, leaning my head against his temple.

"Please, talk to me." He nodded a little and I felt his hands land on my hips. They softly caressed the skin under my school shirt, running over the top of my skirt. His breathing picked up a little and I chanced a look at his face only to see him fighting off tears. The whole situation was scaring the shit out of me.

Edward doesn't cry, that's just not possible. It was weird to see and I floundered for what felt like ten minutes but was probably only ten seconds. I pulled him to me quickly, probably engulfing his face in my chest, as my fingers ran through his hair.

"I've missed you so God damn much," Edward admitted, lifting his head ever so slightly.

"I've missed you too," I said, kissing his temple. "And I'm sorry for making us take a break."

"S'okay, just never again. Promise me, we'll not do that again." I nodded and whispered my promise in his ear.

We were silent for a few minutes and then his breathing picked up again. I never knew he could be so vulnerable and it was terrifying. I wanted my Edward back, the jackass who kissed me on our parent's wedding day, the prick that got me off on the couch downstairs, and the cocky guy I gave head to with our parents on the other side of the door.

"Don't leave me," he whispered, kissing my neck and holding me tight against him.

"I won't,"

"Please, don't ever leave me." Jasper's words must have really struck a chord with him, what a fucking wanker.

"I promise, I won't leave you." I kissed him properly, pouring all my emotions into it. Edward seemed to thrive upon them as suddenly his hands were everywhere, pulling at my clothes, running up under my skirt, caressing my inner thighs, slipping under my bra, running through my hair, and just everywhere.

I was hardly any better. My hands were rapidly undoing the buttons of his shirt and unbuckling his belt. My hips were grinding into his erection with three layers separating us. That was far too many for my liking, and Edward's too apparently.

He pulled my jumper over my head and broke our kiss in the process. I whimpered with the loss of contact but quickly found his lips again once the offending item of clothing was off. His fingers then began working on my shirt as I was slipping his off his shoulders. That's where we got in a bit of a tangle but eventually sorted it out.

Edward thankfully wasn't wearing anything under his shirt which allowed my hands to feel his well defined muscles. Just like I was touching his he wanted to touch my chest so freed me from my bra. I groaned out quietly, briefly recalling Renee was downstairs, and began tugging at his pants.

From there we undressed ourselves in record time until we were both naked, kissing frantically and well aware of where this was going. Seeing as we were in Edward's bedroom I knew he had condoms at hand and went to reach for one when I stopped, remembering a few weeks back.

"Did you get your results back?" I whispered, kissing his jaw.

"Yeah, totally clean, letter's in the drawer if you want to see it."

"No need, I trust you." With that settled I returned us to where we were.

I was still straddling Edward's lap, his erection pressing against my stomach, with him sitting against the headboard. This way seemed a little easier as at least I could control things. Plus, what with his vice like grip on my body, holding our bare chests together, I figured he needed this to go off without a hitch, unlike last time.

"We have to be quiet," I whispered to him, momentarily stopping.

"Why?" he asked, bucking his hips towards mine again.

"Renee's downstairs." Edward grunted in annoyance but I knew he'd not make any loud noises. I on the other hand wasn't sure I'd be able to stay quiet. When with him I just wanted to cry out from his simple, pleasurable touches.

Before I had a chance to recollect myself from my thoughts Edward kissed me tenderly, a kiss unlike all the ones we had just recently shared. I searched his eyes for the meaning of it and when he clearly saw me confused he explained.

"Don't feel like you have to do this, we can wait." I leant my forehead against his.

"I don't want to wait any longer. I want you completely, that includes your body. And, I want you to have me too." Edward smiled softly and kissed me again.

"Are you sure about this? You remember that last time, right?"

"I do but this will be different, it might not hurt as much, just take some time to get use to it. And yes, I am sure about this. I want to Edward, so please, let's."

He nodded and kissed me again before his hand moved down my body and checked to see if I was ready for him yet. I practically purred with the feeling of his fingers, remembering how magical they were under the dinner table.

Edward manoeuvred himself so he was pushing at my entrance and not wanting to prolong the moment any longer I pushed myself down causing him to enter me fully. I couldn't help but moan out from the sensation. This time it felt much better than last, granted, it was a little uncomfortable but it felt really good having him inside of me.

I looked at Edward and saw him concentrating really hard. Slowly I moved my hips, causing him to whimper. He opened his eyes and watched as I raised myself up and down his shaft, albeit a bit awkwardly. A bit later he couldn't help but buck his hips along with me, making it that much better. I think he was holding back so he didn't hurt me.

I was writhing on top of him, kissing him forcefully and pulling at his soft, soft hair. Edward's hands helped me move and really get the hang of it, increasing the pleasure for both of us. It was still uncomfortable but not overly so, and it was starting to feel a bit better.

We were both breathing heavily from our movements and Edward's head was lying in the crook of my neck, whispering away to me. His words were sweet rather than dirty and it just added to the whole experience. I was getting close and I could tell he was too. I wanted him to fall over the edge and just let himself go, regardless if I came or not.

Edward groaned as I clenched myself around him purposely, trying to drag him over the edge. I kissed him quickly, hoping to suppress any future groans and then with the final thrusts he came undone beneath me. Despite not getting off myself I was elated that I could do that for him, especially when he was in such a crappy mood.

Afterwards Edward cupped my face in his hands and kissed me fully and passionately on the lips. Slowly I moved off of him and started to gather some of my clothes. I felt Edward's arms wrap around my waist as he handed me his shirt, then felt his lips on my neck telling me to put it on. Doing as I was asked I slipped his shirt on and buttoned up the front, which he quickly amended by undoing the top three.

Edward threw on his boxers as I put on my underwear. He indicated for me to come back and join him on the bed so I did so, laying on my side and looking up at him. Affectionately he copied my position, facing me, and kissed my exposed skin.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?" I asked, taking his hand in mine.

"Giving yourself to me." Edward shrugged one shoulder and it was clear he had gone back to being unsure. I wasn't having that one bit. Seriously, next time I saw Jasper I was going for his nuts. They would be served on a platter within the hour.

"You don't need to thank me for that." I scooted closer to him. "Edward, please, tell me what's wrong?" He frowned and eyed up the bed sheets.

"What Jasper said was right." I opened my mouth to protest but he shushed me with his lips on mine. "Please, let me finish, okay?"

"Yeah, sorry." With another kiss he carried on.

"He made very valid points. If it wasn't for your mother I'd be in L.A. right now. Carlisle doesn't want me here. Esme doesn't want me there. So where the hell am I meant to be?"

"With me, always with me."

"Until when? Until they find out about us and break everything apart?"

"What are you saying, you want to cut your losses and run?"

"No, God no."

"Then what Edward? You're kinda worrying me here."

"I'm sorry, I don't me to. I'm just…fucked up. I should come with a warning: Please be advised, commitment and abandonment issues present." I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Stop being silly. Come on, I'm not going to leave you, even if they do find out that's not going to break us apart. We've done nothing wrong."

"Perhaps."

"No, not perhaps. Edward, seriously, I'm crazy about you. There's no way I'm going to up and leave you now. You mean too much to me. So please, stop worrying about this. You'll always have me."

"Again, thank you." I leant down and kissed his cheek. "By the way, you didn't have to use sex to make me feel better."

"Did it work?"

"Well…yes."

"Then that's all that matters. And, like I said, I want to be with you completely, that means my body too. I'm yours."

"And I'm so glad about that."

"So…" I began, "…what do you do now that you're not allowed to do anything?" I asked, trying to change the topic onto something lighter.

"Masturbate." I laughed and shook my head at his joke.

"No seriously, what do you do?"

"Masturbate," Edward replied, deadly serious. "What? I think about you while I jerk-off, no worries," he said as though that made everything better. I blanched at him and raised my eyebrows.

"Thanks, I guess."

"No, no. Thank you." He grinned at me and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"You just broke one of the rules, well, two I guess," I pointed out.

"And what rules were they?" Edward asked, laying on his back and looking up at the ceiling.

"No sex and no girls." He frowned in confusion at that. "What is it?"

"Why did he make them separate? He knows what I'm like, girls equal sex so why have them as two different rules."

"Maybe he's trying to reinforce his point."

"Possibly, or he did it on purpose to prove a point."

"What's the point?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"I have no idea." Something clearly wasn't sitting right with Edward and this. "Never mind, I'll think about that later." He rolled back onto his side and settled his body against my own. "Can I kiss you?"

"Why are you even asking? It's not like it's stopped you before." Edward chuckled at that and then met my lips again. God, I could kiss him forever.

"Aren't you two glad I'm not your parents?" A voice asked from the door. We broke apart and were very relieved to see Rose standing there, grinning at us.

"Yes, thrilled. Shut and lock the door please?" Edward asked politely.

"Sure thing." Rose locked the door and then took in the bedroom. "Well you two had sex. How was it, crap? I thought so," she said, speaking directly to me.

"It wasn't crap," I said, about to defend Edward.

"But it wasn't good either. What is he, teeny tiny?" She wiggled her pinkie finger at us and Edward practically growled at her. "Ooh, down there boy. Though even if you were up we couldn't tell through your boxers, what with you being so small and all." Rose smirked, looking down at Edward's boxer clad crotch.

"Fuck off!" he called, scowling at her. I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

"Rose, what are you doing here?"I asked.

"Oh right yeah, I didn't come here to break up your post-coital haze if that's what you're wondering. I actually had a purpose."

"There's a change," Edward muttered, earning an elbow in the ribs from me, which was promptly followed by 'Ow!'.

"You deserved that. Anyway, Jasper is off hashing out things with Alice so I figured I'd come and hide here, you know, just in case she comes looking for me."

"Great, so we're not going to get any peace at all. Brilliant!" Edward said, shaking his head.

"Oh, I can go," Rose began. "You know, I'll just tell Renee and Carlisle what I walked in on, I'm sure they're dying to know about how good together you two are!" She clapped her hands together, faking excitement.

"Fine, we get your point. You can stay," Edward grunted, crawling off the bed to get dressed. I followed by his example and gathered my clothes before taking them and Rose over to my room.

"Do you have to antagonise him so much?" I asked as she inspected my room.

"Yep. You just know he gets off on it."

"No he doesn't!" I cried from within my walk in wardrobe.

"Ooh, defensive and possibly jealous."

"Shut up!" I hunted around until I found some decent clothing, stashing Edward's shirt at the back of one of the shelves. I'd wear that later, when I wanted to intoxicate myself on his scent. "So what do you want to do?"

"Meh, I don't mind. As long as I'm kept save here I don't care," Rose said, shrugging.

"What makes you think Alice would hunt you out?"

"I don't know, just think she's not really in the right state of mind so I wouldn't put it past her."

"Fair point. And you know why she's been off the last week?"

"Not yet and frankly, I don't really want to know. At best she spent the week off doing retail therapy, and at worst she topped herself with sleeping pills and Johnnie Walker Blue. Though I think it's more likely that she just realised how fucked up everything was and that she and Jasper are truly over."

"What's he gone to hash out?" I asked as I finished changing.

"He wants to apologise to her and explain the situation. I told him that he should have done that before they broke up. The boy just doesn't listen."

"I'm not too happy with him right now."

"That have anything to do with your boy next door?"

"Has everything to do with Edward. Jasper was a prick to him. What kinda friend acts like that?"

"News flash Bella, they're not friends," Rose said, watching me move about the room. "They haven't been for quite a bit now."

"Why not?"

"Robin Hood and His Merry Men strike again!" she chimed.

"What have they got to do with it?" I asked, frowning at her.

"Everything. They're not just fighting over the break up. They're fighting about what happens now it's over. Jasper isn't going to get reprimanded and Edward's pissed."

"Why isn't he going to get reprimanded?"

"Cause Jasper sucks Robin Hood's cock, I don't know," Rose rolled her eyes at my foolish question. "All I know is that Jazz and Edward are going to be at each other's throats for a while now. Neither will let up until the other has fallen so to speak."

"Great, so we have that to look forward to."

"Yep." Rose sighed and shook her head. "Jasper's all kinds of messed up right now. Unfortunately the situations only going to get worse before it gets better. Your boy is still pissed about getting that warning and others interfering, I think that's also adding to the tension."

"Didn't you know about that warning?" I asked, gathering myself on the edge of my desk.

"Yeah, but I had nothing to do with it. Yes, I found it amusing but that's because it's Edward. He's a prick."

"I love you too Rosalie," Edward chimed, waltzing in the room. "Now, enough gossiping, what you all up for doing? Oh, I hope you don't mind, I invited Emmett over."

"Nope, no problem with me," Rose said, watching the two of us.

"What's going on with you and him?" I asked. "I mean, you two were taking steps to becoming more than friends. What happened?"

"Jasper happened," she said, as though that explained everything.

"Emmett likes you if that means anything," Edward pointed out.

"Of course that means something to me. I like him too, but I know he's not going to do anything about it."

"Well why don't you do something?"

"Don't you think I've already tried? The other day, he was round at mine, I kissed him and he stopped us immediately, apologised and said it's best if we're friends. I'm not looking like a tit in front of him again." Edward rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath.

"I'll sort Emmett," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That doesn't mean that I owe you anything if you do, does it?" Rose asked with clear distaste. Edward laughed and shook his head.

"No, consider this an apology of sorts for-"

"Being a dick all these years?" she finished for him.

"Yeah."

"No worries, I can do that. Though you don't need to apologise for it."

"Wait, are you two actually having a civil conversation?" I asked, rather shocked with what was taking place before me.

"What?! No." They both spluttered out.

"Rose is still an icy bitch who rips off your nuts with her talons," Edward explained.

"And Edward's still a premature ejaculator with a penis the size of a crayon." They smiled politely at each other and sneered once they looked away.

"Wonderful, things are back to normal, "I muttered, leaving the room and having them both follow, bickering about God only knows what.

The three of us went down the stairs and settled in the media room. Edward and Rose quickly challenged each other to a dual at one of the games so I settled myself on the couch and watched them battle it out. Rose was kicking his ass.

Emmett arrived soon after and wanted in so we all ended up playing together. Rose and Emmett were on one team and Edward and myself were on the other. They felt sorry for me cause I was stuck with the worst player in the room but I couldn't help but defend my boy for his efforts.

We were all playing happily, ripping the shit out of each other, when Carlisle came in. None of us heard him come back so were surprised to see him. Edward sighed immediately and told us he was out and would be going upstairs. His father paused him and took him out into the hallway for a chat. I don't know what they were talking about but whatever it was it worked in Edward's favour as he came back in grinning, picked up his controller and we went back to what we were doing.

I couldn't help but lean over and kiss his cheek softly, and ask him if he was alright.

"Yeah, I'm really good." Edward smiled and unlike earlier it actually looked genuine.

"And Carlisle?"

"He…he's backing off for a bit. I'll explain later." I kissed him once more, with many protests coming from Rose and Em, then returned to the game.

In that brief time it felt like I had gotten Edward back completely, he seemed less worried and stressed about everything. Either he had dealt with some of those issues or he was ignoring them. The problems with Jasper obviously hadn't been dealt with but in time they would be. I would just have to be patient about that one.

For the rest of the night we all hung out together, acting somewhat normal and not having any worries. The drama from school and with Jasper and Alice wasn't looming over us and we could just breathe again. It felt good and I could tell the others thought so too. No doubt there would be many more of these relaxing game nights in to come, and that I looked forward to.

A.N.

I'm on holiday so TheSpoiltOne is updating for me. Cheers for that.


	20. Chapter 20: Overwhelming

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin **

**Chapter Twenty: Overwhelming**

The days after Edward and I got back together were filled with a few things: sex, laughter and an all round easy mood. The sex was still a bit uncomfortable and not exactly great fun but he seemed to enjoy it and I was just glad I could do that for him. With the easy mood and laughter, well that was mainly contributed thanks to all the time we were spending with Emmett and Rosalie.

The two of them came over almost every day after school, or we went to either of their houses. It was just easy to be around them and not worry about keeping our relationship quiet or stepping on others toes with what we were saying.

Everything with Jasper and Alice was still tits up but gradually you could see the beginning of change, even though Alice hadn't returned to school. From what we knew, Jasper went over and spent hours upon hours with Alice. There was tears, screaming, yelling, sobbing and a flurry of other emotions. Though, we do believe Jasper hadn't received Alice's forgiveness for what he had done. We were all happy about that, it would be crap if he got off easy.

With Alice's apology Rose also received one. She was also less forgiving and told him to back off for a while. They would still be friends but right now Rose just didn't need the problems Jasper was stirring up. In a way it was kinda sad, Jasper ended up all alone. Okay, he did bring it upon himself but still.

Emmett was probably the only one who openly spoke to him. Edward, of course, was not talking to him and for that we were all glad. Every time the two of them were within ten feet of each other the area got tense and it felt like a riot was going to break out any minute.

All that aside, things were looking up and I was loving being with my boy. We were getting a little sloppy with being careful and hiding it but neither of us seemed to care much. We hadn't been caught yet so it was fine.

A small part of me was suspicious of Carlisle though. He watched us an awful lot when we were together, as if he was specifically looking for something. Edward thought I was being paranoid but I was sure his father suspected more than he was letting on.

Therefore whenever Carlisle was around I shut down all of my emotions for Edward. They were pushed to the back on my mind and ignored, even if he did something really sexy. The risk of being found out was too much and I knew that outcome would lead to Edward being sent off to his mother's.

However, when no one was around or if those that were knew about our relationship, we were all over each other. It was like we couldn't get enough and needed the other to survive, to breathe and to live. Dramatic? Yes. Accurate? Again, yes.

Despite all that things weren't all good. We bickered constantly and about everything. Alright, nothing really new there but at times he drove me insane, and I him. Living with your boyfriend of a couple a months is hard work. School was the only time we had apart from each other and that was only due to classes. I still saw him in biology and at lunch but the space helped.

Biology itself was a challenge. It had started turning into a groping lesson. Whenever we could we would basically feel each other up for the thrill and excitement of getting caught. With each passing lesson we would raise the stakes and I was beginning to wonder how long it would be before we had sex in that lesson. If we could pull it off without getting caught that would be unbelievable.

Before Edward I didn't quite get the constant thrill or the need to be with someone suddenly. With Seth, the only time we ever got adventurous was in his or my bedroom. With Edward, if the feeling struck us we'd find somewhere to go and relieve the pressure. He was turning me into such a sex crazed teenager, though he had no complaints with that.

Currently we had the house to ourselves. Carlisle and Renee were out shopping for baby things I think. They weren't being specific but with the look on my mother's face it had to be something like that. I didn't suspect she was pregnant yet but they must have just wanted to be prepared for when that does indeed happen. Edward, of course, was being a moody bugger about it.

He still didn't want them to have a baby and I could understand his worries as they were my own. We differed though when it came to my mother's commitment to the marriage and being a mother. Edward was sure this was one big trap for his father whereas I was sure she loved Carlisle and wanted this baby for them, not for a big payout.

Anyway, with the house to ourselves we spent majority of the morning in Edward's bed. We found out earlier that it doesn't squeak as much as mine. No prizes for guessing what we got up to. Though that morning was different. I had been finding it difficult to cum during sex and Edward was doing his very best to help me reach that peak. He successfully did so around eleven a.m., much to my delight.

Once we had our fill of each other and were dressed we invited Rose and Emmett over. In the week and a half that had passed they still were no closer to being together. Edward had tried convincing Em that Rose had no feelings for Jazz but he thought Edward was biased seeing as he hates Jasper. I was up next and also tried but Emmett laughed and shook his head, telling me that Rosie was too good for him.

For whatever reason, Emmett was clearly scared of entering a relationship with Rose. I knew it had nothing to do with her but was all him. For the life of me though I couldn't work it out. After voicing these concerns to Edward he came to a realisation but didn't let me in on what it was.

Edward and I were in the living room, camped out on the floor, eating Oreos together. He was breaking them apart so I could have the side with the most vanilla filling on it, which I thought was sweet of him.

Whenever he was done with his biscuit his hands would get adventurous and explore my body. I swear, he's constantly horny. Knowing that Emmett and Rose were due over at any moment I didn't want to get into something we couldn't finish.

"Edward, stop that now," I warned, swatting his hands away from my breasts.

"Shh," he cooed, kissing my neck and jaw. I wanted to moan with the feeling of his lips against my skin but would not give him that satisfaction.

"No, come on," I said though it sounded too much like a moan. I heard him chuckle and that set me off. He was purposely getting me worked up and probably had no intention of fulfilling my needs. "Stop being a little bitch!" I turned in his arms, reach over and pinched his chest, earning a very girly squeal.

"You pinched my nipple," he said pouting while running his hand over said abused nipple.

"Oh grow up," I said as the doorbell rang.

"You wouldn't like it if I did it to you!" I raised my eyebrows at him, recalling earlier in his bedroom. Edward chuckled and shook his head. "Okay you do like it…but that doesn't mean I like it! Don't do it again."

Rolling my eyes I went to answer the door. Rose and Em were laughing at something as I showed them in. When we walked back into the living room Edward was sitting glaring at me. I practically pranced over to where he was sitting and kissed the hell out of him.

"You'll get over it," I muttered, pulling back from his lips.

Emmett finished wolf whistling at the kiss as Rose and I went into the kitchen to get food, leaving the boys to discuss what Edward did to get a kiss like that.

"How's it going?" I asked Rose once out of the earshot of Emmett.

"He's as resilient as ever. I can't break through that bloody defence mechanism of his." She sighed, referring to Emmett. Rose had taken it upon herself to change things with Emmett, which I was all for.

"I'm sorry Rose," I gave her a one armed hug and then went to fetch drinks for our movie day.

We gathered up the usual treats and went back through where Emmett was prepared to walk us through the movie selections of today. Every weekend we spent one full day watching movies together and each time it alternated between who chose what to watch. This week it was Emmett's choice.

With the first movie in and playing I settled back down beside Edward, kissing his pout away again.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, running my hand over his chest. He nodded but moved my hand down over his crotch.

"Rub there, it'll feel better." I couldn't help but smack his chest again. "Bitch," he muttered, smiling at me.

"Arsehole," I chimed back.

"Can you two stop with the sexual foreplay?" Emmett asked.

"Sorry," Edward called back, wrapping his arm around me so we could watch the movie in silence.

The rest of that day we watched all of Emmett's choices and just had a good laugh. The time spent with all of them really was some a lot of fun, definitely an improvement on what it was like previously.

Sunday was a free day that Edward and I spent in Seattle. He wanted to take me out and about so we made the early drive and had a good time in the city. Out there we could be a couple rather than worry about being caught which made for a nice change. Both of us agreed that each month we should do that, go away to where we could be together naturally, and I was looking forward to the next time we went.

On the Monday Alice returned to school looking as composed as ever. She had been off school for three weeks and it was just crazy. I really didn't expect her to talk to me but was surprised when she stopped by my locker in the hallway. It was awkward for all of five seconds but then Alice gave me a soft smile.

"Look, I just wanted to thank you for what you said. You were right about a lot of things and I needed to hear it. Sorry for being a bitch about it and I hope we can still be friends."

"Yeah, no worries. I'd like that," I said, smiling back. She had probably been through hell and back to come to that conclusion.

"Thank you Bella, and do you know where Rose is? I kinda need to talk to her too."

"Eh, no sorry I don't know where she is but if I see her I'll tell her you want to talk."

"Yeah, it's nothing bad. I want to apologise for how I treated her. Like you said, it wasn't Rose's fault and I shouldn't have blamed her. Jasper really reinforced that fact when he came over. I'm just glad things between us are better, so thanks for forgiving me." Alice surprised me by giving me a small hug.

When she departed Edward walked up and leant in behind me.

"Everything alright there?" he asked.

"No, she's a right bitch that's why we hugged," I muttered rolling my eyes.

"What's wrong with you? Is it that time of the month again?" I glared at him but a small smile was playing at my lips.

"Shut up, please."

"How polite of you to say please. Come on, let's go to biology." Edward pulled the sleeve of my jumper, it was our secret way of holding hands, and we headed to class.

We took our usual seats at the back of the room and braced ourselves for what was to be a dull class. Mr Banner was dealing with something when we came in but after a few minutes he shushed everyone so he could have the attention of the class.

"Alright everyone, we're going to be doing an experiment today so get the equipment stated on your sheet then come and collect the stuff at the front. On you go." Mr Banner wandered over to the foreign exchange students who were looking at him confused. Poor guy was going to have to try and break the English/Croatian language barrier.

"I'll get the things, you just stay here." Edward said, giving my hand a tight squeeze.

I opened up the textbook where they had the method, conclusion and results all tallied up nicely. We just had to do the same. Moving Edward's and my belongings to one side gave enough room for the small water bath Edward had set up on our desk. He then brought back the test-tubes and a rack for them along with the solutions we would need. This really was pointless in my mind but whatever, let's waste a lesson.

Like we had done this thousands of times Edward and I set everything up and then put the test-tubes in the heated water, watching at the timer counted down when we were to check the colour of them and keep doing so until it was the one specified in the book.

I was leaning forward, arms folded on the desk, with my legs out straight behind me. Apparently this was too much of a tempting position to have me in, bent over a desk, that Edward just had to push our precious boundaries and the limits of this class.

"You look so fucking hot right now. All I want to do is lift up that tartan skirt of yours and fuck you senseless," he whispered, leaning next to me but eyeing up my ass in said skirt.

"Wait until lunch, we'll find an empty classroom," I said, ignoring how wet he had just made me.

"No, I can't." Edward stood up, grabbed the sheet of instructions and stood directly behind me. I turned and shot him a vicious glare while telling him quietly to stop immediately. He, of course, didn't listen.

Instead Edward placed the sheet on my back, which went unfelt, and then pushed himself into my backside. I could feel his erection through our school uniforms and the friction felt fucking fantastic. The bloody bastard knew that as well, which just spurred him on.

He placed his hands on my hips and ground into me a few more times before coming impatient. Thank God for us having a desk at the back of the room and for the teacher being occupied. I felt him lift up my skirt and fold it on my lower back. Turning round, from the way we were, it looked like my skirt was in its proper place. Such a smart boyfriend I have.

Edward then unzipped his pants and moved everything out of the way, freeing his erection, which I felt when the head of his penis ran along my ass. I desperately needed him. His fingers cupped me through my underwear and if we weren't in the middle of class I would have moaned then screamed at him for teasing. As I couldn't do that though I settled for pushing back roughly, getting the friction I wanted so much.

Thankfully he seemed as impatient as I was and he moved my underwear to the side, softly ran his fingers at my entrance, teasing me so much more. Then I heard his sexy growl and could practically feel the wetness making its way down my thighs.

"Brace yourself," he whispered. I needed something in my mouth to shut me up so grabbed a pencil quickly and bit into it as he thrust in, somewhat slowly but very deep. Biting down hard was the only way I could hold in my moan.

This was the hottest fucking thing we'd ever done. Nothing would top it. Ever.

Edward grunted and quickly disguised it as a cough, not to draw attention. The other students were chatting away, all with their backs to us, and the teacher was leaning over the Croatians' desk, practically pulling his hair out. Perfect for a mid class fuck.

I felt Edward pull back, almost all the way out of me before he slowly thrust back in. It was all so painstakingly slow but with the depth he was hitting here I really didn't give a fuck. It felt too damn good.

Whimpering, I moved my hips back just as he was about to thrust back in again and the feeling was surreal. He had me hanging on for dear life and hell; I know that he probably desperately wanted to slam into me over and over again but couldn't for obvious reasons. The thirteen other people in the room no doubt would have had a problem with it for one.

"Babe you have to be quiet," Edward grounded out.

I nodded, still biting the pencil and how good it all felt. Each. Time. Hitting. The. Same. Perfect. Spot. And. So. Fucking. Close. To. Cumming. I whimpered again, a little longer than last time and Edward took this as his cue for us to reach our peaks.

The thirteen other people in the room faded out as Edward picked up speed, really getting ballsy here. If one turned round they would definitely know what we were doing. He used one of his hands to keep me still and continued his movements until everything came undone for me.

I couldn't take anymore, it felt too good. With me tightening around him, Edward stood no chance. His thrusts became wilder and he didn't give me a chance to calm down after my first high.

Holding in the moans, groans and cursing was killer, so much that I bit the pencil so hard it broke in my mouth. I quickly took the two halves out my mouth, and replaced it with knuckle of my thumb. If I didn't bite down on something I was going to let the whole room, and probably corridor, hear how much I was loving being fucked by Edward. And I really loved it.

"So. Fucking. Close," Edward grunted quietly, spilling into me, having reached his release. Just like that, I came again, groaning loudly and dropping my head in my hands.

When I looked up a few people had turned round to see what I was moaning at. I blushed and smiled shakily at them.

"I hate biology, experiment didn't work." They smirked and nodded, turning back to their own looking smug. Not as smug as Edward though.

"Maybe I can help you there," he said, pulling out of me and returning our clothing back to normal. "I'm very good at biology." He planted himself down beside me and grinned, knowing how much I had loved what we just did.

We both smirked at each other and then checked our experiment. Looked like we finished just at the right time- it was the exact colour it said it should be in the textbook.

There was still plenty of time left in the lesson so we started on the homework which was written up on the board after cleaning everything up. Despite having to actually do work that was the best biology lesson ever.

"Alright, the bell will be ringing shortly, so write down the observations of your experiment and then you can go," Mr Banner called, giving up on the exchange students.

Edward and I were happy to get out of there and head to lunch. Rose and Emmett were already waiting for us. Rosalie took one look at me and snorted.

"You had sex!" she declared too loudly for my liking. Emmett grinned broadly and started clapping.

"Where about?" he asked.

"Biology class," Edward answered, taking a seat with his lunch. I took a seat next to him and ignored Rose's smirk.

"Wow, brave of you. The teacher not there?" Em asked curiously. Edward happily explained the story to our friends as I just sat and listened. By the end of it Emmett had one thing to say: "You're a God." Edward was rather chuffed with that title and I could see his ego growing and chest puff out.

"Oh behave yourself, you're not superman." I lightly pushed his arm, trying to deflate said oversized ego.

"I so am," he declared and then started unbuttoning his shirt. I looked over at him in confusion and then clocked what he was showing me.

"No Edward, you're not superman, you're a complete geek." The t-shirt he was wearing under his school shirt had the superman logo on the front.

My boy pouted at my insult as Rose and Em watched on in amusement only to then have Emmett show us that he was wearing the same t-shirt under his. Rose thought that was brilliant and applauded them both for co-ordinating their clothing before asking if they did that because they were secretly a gay couple. That shut them up.

The rest of lunch was amusing as always and things were finally becoming normal. The four of us could just be ourselves around each other and not bother. It wasn't tense and it wasn't stressful so I loved it.

That continued for several more weeks with the only thing messing up our little group was when issues with Jasper and Alice affected us. Alice had apologised to Rose and she had forgiven her somewhat. They still weren't friends but there was no screaming matches which helped.

As Alice wasn't hanging around with us she found another set of friends who were all in her drama class. They all seemed to have the same interests and she seemed happy for a change. I didn't think I'd see that after what happened with Jasper.

He also found new friends. According to Rose he was hanging out with a lot of Merry Men. Edward wasn't happy to hear that at all but with some persuasion from me I convinced him not to do anything rash, like punch Jasper in the face.

Robin Hood and his Merry Men were still warning those as they saw fit and with each new warning Edward would get angrier about it. Thankfully his rage at the situation only lasted a few minutes before it washed away. Though I do think he had some elaborate scheme to overthrow or revolt against Robin Hood that he was keeping me out of. I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

Before I even realised, four months had passed since the wedding. It was really weird to think about it that way as so much had changed, some for the better and some for the worse. I realised that I was probably much happier with the Cullens as I was with any of the other step-families. Edward played a major part in that but I also had a chance to make friends and I definitely think that Rose and Emmett were going to stick around for the long run.

As some sort of celebration Carlisle and Renee were taking us out to dinner. Neither Edward or myself were really looking forward to it but would go anyway, it's not like we had a choice. Renee instructed us to dress up smart like and be ready to leave the house at seven thirty.

I immediately headed upstairs to shower and wash my hair. For once Edward didn't try and highjack my shower and turn it into a sex fest for which I was thankful for. The boy had one hell of a libido; it made it hard to keep up.

Once I was showered and dried I hunted through my cupboards for something that would be deemed as acceptable and settled on a dark purple dress Rosalie had recently purchased for me. She specifically said: 'your boy will drool when he sees you in this'. And she was right.

I threw on the dress, did my hair and makeup, found the perfect shoes from the mass I had acquired from Renee and then went to check on Edward. He was fighting with his tie but stopped completely when he saw me at his door. His arms flopped to his side and he took a slow deep breath, his eyes raking up my body.

"You like?" I asked innocently, twirling round. Edward whimpered and nodded profusely.

"I love." _Thank you Rosalie! _

Walking over I began fixing his tie and then his hair as he watched me move around him. With a kiss on the cheek I departed him to go downstairs. The two of us coming down together might raise suspicion with Carlisle so I wasn't taking the chance.

The man himself was all ready to go; drinking a glass of what I hoped was water and not vodka in the kitchen while reading over some files. When I came in he gave me a polite smile and told me I looked lovely, that Cullen charm shining through.

"Thanks, you look well yourself." Alright this may be a little sick but Carlisle was a good looking man and him in a spruced up suit was like eye candy. I just couldn't help admire him in it. Just as my slightly dirty thoughts approached wild, wet fantasies Edward strode in.

"We all ready?" he asked, looking me over again. I went to stand behind the counter on the opposite side so he couldn't so brazenly eye up my tits or ass.

"Not yet, we're waiting on Renee. She's just coming," Carlisle answered, glancing up at the clock. Within a few minutes Renee finished getting ready and joined us. We all went out and hoped into Carlisle's Mercedes before making our leave.

Edward and I were in the back and found amusement in playing all the applications Carlisle had on his iPhone. Using Edward's jacket at cover he took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze, holding it the entire car journey. It felt good just being normal with him, despite our unusual circumstances.

On arrival at the restaurant Carlisle parked his car and we all made out way inside. Apparently reservations had been made so were immediately led to our table. The place was amicably decorated and had a nice feeling to the place with rich woods and dark colours providing a warmth that was hard to fine in Forks given the weather.

The round table we were situated at could clearly seat six people but for some reason they spaced us out a bit, providing more room where it wasn't needed. The waiter came by and took our order after enough time to decide what we wanted. As our first ever family meal out together it was going well so far.

Then they dropped the bombshell.

I was in the middle of eating my delicious pasta main course when Renee and Carlisle cleared their throats together. Edward and I stopped our light banter to see what they wanted; all the while I was still chewing.

"Edward, Bella," Carlisle stared. "Renee and I have some good news we want to share."

"I'm pregnant," My mother gushed. Immediately I choked, as did Edward.

The two of us sat their spluttering and coughing, attracting the attention of many other patrons. Carlisle was quick to act, getting up at once and assisting us both. He had a frown on his face as he took his seat when we could finally breathe again.

"Are the two of you okay?" Renee asked, looking on in concern.

"Yeah," I mumbled out, feeling sick but not due to practically coughing up a lung.

"Sure," Edward answered, then gulped down all his water.

"So, you're really pregnant?" I asked Renee.

"Yes, we found out earlier today." God, it felt like just yesterday she was telling me she couldn't get pregnant. In reality, a month and a half had passed since then. "Tonight just seemed the ideal time to tell the both of you."

"Are you both happy about this?" Carlisle asked, keeping a particular eye on Edward's reaction.

"Of course, whatever makes you both happy," I said, returning to my meal and ignoring the sudden need to run for the door.

"Edward?"

"I can't say I'm happy right now but hopefully by the time the baby comes along I will be." He gave them both a soft smile and I could tell he was really trying not to hurt their feelings.

"Thank you," Renee said, reaching over and giving his hand a squeeze. Edward nodded and then went back to his food, sitting quietly as his thoughts consumed him.

For the rest of the meal the baby subject was slightly avoided. It came up a few times but not often. Instead we discussed school, our friends, Carlisle's work, any upcoming charities events and everything else that went on in the Cullen's house I was unaware of.

The journey back home was awkward for Edward. He barely said anything and kept avoiding eye contact with everyone, myself included. I wanted to just get him up to his bedroom so we could hash all of this out.

"Thank you for the company tonight," Carlisle said, holding hands with Renee as they made their way to retire to their room for the night.

Edward and I nodded our thanks as well and then went to our rooms. I changed out of my dress and into one of his shirts and boxers that I stole from him. Knocking on his bedroom door I waited to hear him grant me access before entering.

"Come in!" I stuck my head round the door and smiled at him.

"Hey."

"Hi," Edward said, beckoning me into the room. I shut and locked the door behind me then made my way over to him.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed and as I approached he opened his arms for me to settle down onto his lap. I complied and took a seat, snuggling into his chest, wrapping one arm around his neck. With a soft kiss on his neck I looked up at him, waiting for him to begin.

"It was just a shock, that's all."I didn't buy it. It was a shock for me too but something else was bothering him and I wanted to find out what that was. Rubbing his back and neck gently and breathed in his wonderful scent, pleased just to be in his arms.

"You can tell me anything," I whispered to him.

"I know," he said sighing. "Honestly, I'm worried that if they have a baby that means the end to us." He confused me there.

"The end to us?" I asked, wanting clarification on what that meant.

"What future can we have if we have the same brother or sister? It will be too weird for them and I don't want that stigma branded on them."

Edward had a fair point there, one I hadn't taken into consideration. If and when Edward and I became public about our relationship then it would have to contend with knowing the fact its brother and sister were together. At a young age that's got to mess them up.

"This will just have to be something we deal with at the time. I'm not going to end the best thing that's happened to me because Carlisle and Renee are having a baby. It could and probably will be weird for them but I with proper explaining a bad situation could be avoided. Don't threat about this, Edward, everything will work out." He nodded and kissed my forehead.

"Stay with me tonight?" he asked, picking up my hand in his and kissing my knuckles.

"I'd love to."

As a change to our normal routine Edward and I didn't have sex when I stayed over that night. Instead he nuzzled and kissed me affectionately until he was completely exhausted, falling into a deep sleep. That was my boy's way of needing comfort. The abandonment issues popped up again and he didn't want me leaving him. Though I never could leave him, he meant too much to me.

Lying in my boy's arms I realised that I had in fact fallen for him, head over heels I was in love. That brought a smile to my face. I had no intention of telling him yet but hey, it was good to know how I felt. Then and there I decided no matter what happened we wouldn't be kept apart unless he chose to do that. If he still wanted me I would never leave him, even if we were found out.

Having never been in love before the feeling was overwhelming and I hoped that it would stay for good. And maybe, one day, Edward would feel the same about me.


	21. Chapter 21: Minefield Up Ahead

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Twenty One: Minefield Up Ahead**

With Renee and Carlisle's pregnancy Edward and I kept ourselves scarce. We didn't want to be around them at all. The morning after they told us they were having a baby we ended up witnessing their affections towards one another over breakfast. It was enough to make me hurl, and Edward felt the same way too.

The two of them were practically beaming and it just made everything uncomfortable. Neither Edward nor I wanted to imagine our parents together in any way. Knowing they had created a life together was also sickening. Due to this we avoided them at all costs.

Edward was still having trouble dealing with the new development so I knew it was best to distract him as much as possible. Unfortunately my body only seemed to make matters worse. It was as though he was scared of us accidentally getting pregnant so he avoided sex altogether.

This did hurt me, to know he didn't want me physically but I was relieved to know he still wanted me around. If he was to cut ties now I would be a broken mess. After all, this was the guy I had fallen completely in love with.

The lack of intimacy lasted for about a week. It was incredibly hard for me, taking the physical aspect out of our relationship seeing as that was how we got together in the first place. Edward made it so kissing was uncomfortable, meaning we just stopped.

Emmett and Rose looked on worryingly throughout the week. No doubt they thought this was going to be the end of everything for me and my boy. I had a more hope than that, and rightfully so. The phase Edward was going through passed and he welcomed me back into his arms with a kiss on the Friday evening. It felt amazing just to be in his arms again. He spent that night making up the lost time and when I woke up Saturday everything seemed to be back to normal with us.

Edward had gone to meet some of his friends while I was going to lounge about the house. From what I knew no one had made plans. However, just after lunch I heard a group of them come in so knew Edward must have set something up. Without having to wait he came into my room.

He gave me a soft smile as he shut the door then came over, kissing me softly. I held him close to me, revelling in his scent and warmth while he spoke.

"Emmett and a few guys wanted to play rugby so I said they could play here. You want to come and watch?" My distaste towards the idea clearly shone through as Edward chuckled and shook his head. "Rosalie is here too."

"Alright then, I guess I should keep her company."

"That's the spirit." Edward helped me up off the bed which meant my body was inches away from his. I stepped forward and gave him a gentle kiss, not wanting to get too into anything with a group of folk downstairs.

"I missed that." He nodded and kissed me back.

"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry the whole baby thing freaked me out."

"I know, it's okay. Now come on, they're waiting."

The two of us stepped apart and made our way downstairs. Emmett had taken the rest of them outside, minus Rose, and was throwing a ball around. This set of guys I hadn't seen before and I had expected to see James, Felix and the others. Not minding either way I greeted Rose and grabbed a jacket prior to going out into the cold.

Edward kissed my cheek, clearly telling me the parents weren't home, and went on out, running over to Emmett. Rose linked her arm with mine and we walked out after him.

"You ready to play?" Em asked, smiling at Edward.

"You ready to lose?" he replied, grinning. Rose and I rolled out eyes and went to sit by the sidelines to watch. The other guys ran around some more, warming up, before starting.

Once they were in full game-mode and they were making plenty of noise Rose began talking. She clearly didn't want them to listen in on us, though I couldn't see why as we weren't exactly going to be talking about anything private.

"So, tell me, what's it like being in love with a prick?" she asked, eyeing up Emmett as he ran full out towards the trees, ball in hand. Earlier on in the week Rose had hunted me out to ask if I was in love with Edward and as I couldn't lie to her I admitted that I was.

"It's actually really good, not that he knows how I feel though."

"You better not tell him," she warned.

"Why?"

"Bella, it's Edward. That guy has serious commitment issues and I don't think he's going to welcome you with open arms if you said that to him. In fact, I'd bet on it that he would push you away."

"Is this another one of these things he has?"I asked, looking over Edward. He appeared normal on the outside -okay that's a lie, there's nothing normal about him but still- it just seemed weird that he had all these problems hidden under the surface.

"One of these things as in the virginity thing?" Rose asked for clarification.

"Yeah."

"Yep, this is one of these things. He doesn't believe he deserves love."

"What an idiot," I muttered, shaking my head.

"I agree with you there."

"His parents really did a number on him."

"Oh yeah," Rose agreed.

"Same with Emmett though," I pointed out.

"True, which is why he won't go out with me. Edward was kind enough to find out." That was news to me.

"Why won't he go out with you?"

"Edward never told you?" I shook my head and she grinned. "Someone's going to be in the dog house for that; glad I could help."

"Rose, answer the question."

"Yeah right, sorry. Emmett won't go out with me because he thinks he's going to turn into his father."

"His physically abusive father?" I asked.

"The very one." I whistled in shock and Rose nodded along in agreement.

"Emmett would never do that," I said, shaking my head at the thought of him hitting Rose.

"Oh I know, but he doesn't trust himself enough to take the risk. He worries that he'll suddenly get angry and do something stupid to me."

"Has he ever lost his temper before?"

"Not around me, and Edward says he hasn't in all the years he's known him. Jasper also agrees with that. They've never seen him lose his temper. Granted, he's beaten the crap out of some guys but when it comes to girls they said he's barely even lifted his voice. The guy's a saint, yet he doesn't trust himself. I trust him though."

"Do you think there's a chance he'll come around in time?"

"Possibly, the guys are working on him for me. Jasper is talking to him about it and so is Edward."

"Can I ask, in all honesty, do you really hate Edward?" I enquired. Surely she couldn't after all he's done for her regarding Emmett.

"Honestly, no I don't but if you tell him that I'll tear you limb from limb."

"Then why all the fights and arguments?"

"I did hate him. Before you came along Edward was a twat, like a Royce cardboard cut out and I couldn't stand it. You pitched up and he changed. I actually regard him as a friend now, just one I love to bicker with. Again, if you let him know about this I'll chop you up into little pieces and feed you to him." I laughed and shook my head.

"I won't tell him. I only asked because you're my closest friend and it would be easier knowing you don't hate my boyfriend."

"Well I don't hate him, most of the time." That was as good an answer I was going to get from Rose. "What are we doing after this?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" I asked, shrugging.

"Your boy's birthday is next week," she said, looking over at me.

"I know."

"Did you really?"

"I overheard my mother and Carlisle talking about it, so yes, I did."

"Fair enough. What are you getting him?" Rose asked.

"I have no idea. I don't know what he would want."

"Then would you like to go shopping for something? I need to go anyway to get him my gift but I need you there for that too."

"You're getting him something?"

"Yep, and don't act so surprised. I can be nice when I want to. So do you want to?"

"Yeah, sure," I answered, nodding my head. To be honest I was still a little shocked that Rose would want to get Edward a gift. Thanks to our earlier conversation I knew she didn't hate him but I would never have thought she'd go out her way to buy him something. "Where are we going to go, Port Angeles?"

"No, I want to go to Seattle."

"Seattle?"

"Yep. You have a problem with that?"

"Nope, it's fine." I shrugged and returned my focus to the game.

I hadn't quite grasped the game, despite my brief time playing it when I first moved in with the Cullens, but it was as brutal as I remember. Although I was trying to follow it I couldn't help but think my boy looked far too sexy running around shirtless and sweaty.

Of course they ended up being too warm while Rose and I sat freezing our asses off on a nearby bench watching. As they were too hot all the guys removed their tops, t-shirts, shirts etc. giving us a pretty fucking awesome view of their bodies. Even though there was all that eye candy I refused to acknowledge it, what with Edward's body in view. He had completely captured my attention with his gorgeous chest on show and with his flushed cheeks making him that much cuter.

The other guys ran around some more, throwing the ball back and forth, tackling and making some hard hits. It was sometimes a little sore to watch but overall it was good to see. A complete turn on to be honest, especially when Edward was involved.

God I wanted to jump to him.

There was no denying it, I was one hundred percent horny for him, and he didn't have a clue. The game still had another thirty minutes to go so there was nothing he could do about it. I would have to take matters into my own hands, literally.

"I'll be back in a minute," I said to Rose who was too busy drooling over Emmett to even hear me.

With her taken care of I scurried up to the house before anyone else outside noticed and let myself in. Once inside I moved quickly through the house and up the stairs to my bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

Ten minutes later my breathing was laboured and I was much closer to reaching my peak. It was taking longer than I thought it would. For some reason I just couldn't get the release I needed so much.

"What are you doing?" My eyes flew open at the sound of a voice and I looked straight to the door to see who caught me. I hadn't even heard anyone come in the house.

"Shut the fucking door will you!" Edward came in, looking rather peeved, and slammed the door, locking it behind him.

"You're pleasuring yourself!" he cried, shaking his head.

"Well what else would I be doing with my hand down there? Checking to see if I had a dick? Of course I was 'pleasuring myself', shit-face." I tended to get pretty angry when I had been startled.

"Why?"

"Why do you think?" I asked, now having completely stopped what I was doing.

"Stop answering my question with a question. Am I crap in bed?" he asked, wounded by the thought. I rolled my eyes and got up to bring him over to the bed.

"No, you're not, and you know that. I just wanted to get off and you weren't around."

"Call me; I'll come running if you told me you wanted sex." I rolled my eyes again and propped up my pillows, making myself comfortable despite being very uncomfortable down below. I was so fucking close and then he had to come in and ruin it.

"Can we make a deal?" I eyed him dubiously for a moment.

"What would the deal be?" I asked.

"Promise not to pleasure yourself."

"You follow that too?" He frowned but then nodded.

"Okay, we can do that. I promise not to do it again as long as you can get me off. But keep in mind you'll get some calls."

"And why's that a problem?" he said grinning and looking all cute again.

"Now come on, I have some unfinished business and you're going to help me out."

Edward's eyes lit up like a fucking Christmas tree at the prospect of sex. He practically pounced across the bed at me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes as he pulled and pushed at my clothes, fighting to get them off.

"Will you hurry the fuck up?!" I groaned, throwing all of my clothes to the floor and began on his.

Once we were both undressed Edward began kissing at my neck. Gradually he leaned me down onto back and crouched over me. His eyes were full of lust as he moved my legs to either side of him, and quickly entered me.

We both moaned and then picked things up a bit but I wasn't really enjoying it. There wasn't exactly a lot of pleasure taking place, well at least not on my end of things. I tried to manipulate Edward's movements to get the satisfaction I was looking for but it just wasn't happening. Sighing I threw my head back on the pillow and just lay there, waiting for him to get over with it.

Suddenly Edward stopped and glared at me.

"What the fuck is wrong? You're lying there like a dead fish," he bitched. "Are you not enjoying yourself?"

"No, I'm not. This could be better."

"Well what do you want me to do?" Edward asked, glaring.

"Just cum already, I'll sort myself out afterwards."

"No you won't. We agreed not to do that."

"Only if you could get me off, we agreed not to. But you can't do that so looks like I'll be doing it myself."

"Whoa, no way. I can make you cum." I snorted and shook my head.

"Bullshit," I challenged. Edward glared once more at me and then gently caressed my cheek.

"May I show you how good I am?" he whispered.

"Go on then."

Edward kissed me softly and then began showing me how 'good' he was. There wasn't much of a difference but hell, he was trying so rather than burst his bubble I began faking. My moans seemed convincing for all of three minutes before Edward pulled back completely, looking me over before gasping loudly in shock.

"You're faking!"

"Well duh!" He practically fell back, one hand on his chest, like he'd been shot.

"Why?!"

"Cause I wasn't enjoying it. Why else would I fake? Plus, you were trying so hard, I didn't want to offend you." Sighing Edward crossed his arms over his chest. The entire conversation seemed weird seeing as we were both naked on my bed having a chit chat.

"You wouldn't offend me." I snorted again and he shrugged. "Alright, I'm a bit offended but show me what to do and then you won't have to fake. We never usually have this problem," he pointed out.

"I know we don't. For some reason it's just different today, I don't know why. You want to give it another go?" I asked hopefully.

"Sure, but help me out a bit please."

"I will." I kissed him softly and set us in the motions again.

With new found purpose and we got back down to business and this time it was a lot better. No faking needed whatsoever. Within minutes he had me panting and moaning, clawing at his skin and thoroughly enjoying myself. Then the git stopped, pulled back and looked at me much like before. I wasn't having any of that.

"Don't fucking stop!" I cried, slapping his shoulder.

"You're faking again!" Edward accused.

"No I'm not, now get back to it!" I bucked my hips against his and he finally got his arse back into gear.

What felt like hours after he arrived in my room I finally achieved what I wanted the entire time, I came. Edward needed a bit more time but hell, I wasn't complaining, well not anymore. His body collapsed back onto the bed next to mine afterwards and I leant over to kiss his cheek before getting some clothes back on.

"Thank you and in future, I'll call you if I need you." That put a grin on my boy's face. "Oh, what happened to the game?" I asked, remembering they were all playing.

"Em wanted to keep Rose company, the others all wanted something to eat, and I saw you had vanished. It seemed wiser to call it quits."

"And are you glad you did?"

"Oh yeah," Edward said smiling widely, watching as I put on my clothes again.

"Right, well I'll be off," I said once fully dressed again, grabbing my keys off the nightstand.

"Off?"

"Yep, Rose and I are going shopping." Edward frowned and shook his head.

"Yeah you have fun with that."

"I will. While I'm gone, can you get your naked ass out my bed? That might be a little hard to explain to our parent s if they find you," I said, looking over his body briefly. "Bye!"

I closed the door behind me then headed down the stairs. Rosalie was in the kitchen with Emmett and the other guys. One of them I knew was called Garrett but the others I didn't know and hadn't seen before. Regardless they all greeted me politely so I figured they couldn't be that bad.

"You ready to go?" I asked Rose.

"Yeah. Whose car are we taking?"

"Take mine? We'll have to come back here anyway," I replied.

"Think we can take Edward's?" she asked.

"You want to take his Aston Martin?"

"Yeah." Emmett started laughing and shook his head.

"Rose he will kill you if he finds out you were in his car. Poor boy will probably want to bleach the whole thing." She rolled her eyes at his statements and turned back to me, looking hopeful.

"Oh fine, why not? But I'm driving!" I called quickly as she trotted off outside to the garage."He's going to be pissed," I muttered, thinking it probably wasn't a great idea to take it.

"Yeah, he will be. However, he loves you so he won't be mad for long. I'm sure you could convince him to forgive you," Emmett said, grinning wildly.

"Ugh, no thanks. Just tell him I have it and that it hasn't been stolen?"

"Of course. Now go before she hotwires the damn thing."

After rooting around a drawer in the hall I found the spare set of keys. Rose was practically giddy when I came outside. She was far too excited in my opinion. Hell, I was crapping myself just thinking about opening the bloody thing. Driving it was going to be another nightmare. I knew that if I got one scratch on this baby Edward would never forgive me. He loves his car too damn much. Though, according to Emmett, he loves me too.

Pfft, as if.

"Don't break anything," I warned Rose as I unlocked it. She jumped in eagerly and put her seatbelt on before inspecting everything she could. I got in nervously and turned the key in the ignition, listening to it come alive.

As carefully as possible I drove out of the garage and into the drive. Rose was telling me to speed things up a bit but I ignored her completely. I had a funny feeling this car would just take off if I put any more pressure on the accelerator.

"Oh come on Bella, it's not going to blow up! Give it some power," she whined as we travelled well below the speed limit.

"No, I do not want to crash this thing. Edward would murder me if I did."

"Please, just give it a bit of oomph." Shaking my head I drove carefully and cautiously through Forks. "I need you to pull over," Rose said suddenly.

"Why?"

"I'm going to be sick." She held her hand up to her mouth as I pulled up to the side. Quickly Rose threw open the door and dove towards the bushes. I got out the car and walked over to her, rubbing her back.

"I didn't know you get car sick," I said, then noticed she hadn't actually been sick. "What's going on?" I asked.

"I'm alright now." She stood up and began moving back to the car, except she headed straight for the driver's side.

"Oh no you don't!" I raced there but she beat me.

"Get your ass in the car before I drive away," she warned, giving me her no nonsense look.

"Shit Rose, you're not allowed to drive this. Get out."

"Nope, and technically, neither are you allowed to drive this beast. So, stop whining and get in. I will leave you." Her tone told me enough and as I didn't want to have to walk back to Forks I got in the passenger's side, huffing.

"You were never sick," I mumbled, shaking my head for being so foolish.

"Of course I wasn't," she said smiling.

With Rose at the wheel we raced and weaved in between the traffic. She was set on us going into Seattle to shop rather than going to Port Angeles for some reason. Apparently there would be more variety.

In some ways I guess this was good as I had no idea what to get Edward for his birthday. This was going to be the first time one of us had to buy the other a gift so I didn't want to stuff it up. Unfortunately that didn't make it any easier. My boy never really expressed a want for anything so I didn't know where to start.

When we finally hit Seattle Rose seemed to know exactly where she was going. No doubt the girl had gone shopping here hundreds of times. I hadn't had that luxury of coming here so often. I had only been a handful of times so really didn't know my way at all.

She parked the car and then dragged me off to the key shopping locations, according to her. Knowing that I didn't have to get anything for myself really made the whole experience much better. Or at least that was the case until she started handing me some clothes.

"It's your boy's birthday in a week, don't you want to get him something special?" Rose asked, trying to get me to shut up about the clothing.

"Rose, I really doubt he'll care what I'm wearing, he seems to care more about what's beneath my clothes rather than the clothing themselves." She rolled her eyes.

"Trust me when I say this, he'll care about what we buy."

"What are we going to buy?" I asked, watching her carefully as she moved through the racks with purpose.

"Lingerie of course." Looking up ahead I saw where she was taking me and I groaned.

"Right well then I can definitely tell you that's a waste of money. He wastes no time taking me out of mine so won't even notice something new."

"Oh my God, have you seriously never enticed him or made him work for it?" she asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

"Well no we just-"

"Fuck?" she said, filling in the end of my sentence.

"Yeah. I mean, not the first time or the few times after that but now-"

"You just fuck cause why waste the time? Your boy is such a charmer," Rose mutter sarcastically.

"He doesn't seem to complain."

"Of course he doesn't. He's getting his rocks off, why complain about that?" She took a deep breath and turned to me. "He will cum like he's never cum before if you make him work for it. Trust me, I can tell your boy wants to be dominated by you."

"Ugh please," I said, shaking my head.

"Seriously Bella, he does. Plus, even if you guys don't mix it up a little you could always slow it down a bit. Rather than fucking, take it easy, stop rushing, no more quickies in class or anything. Sex is much better with someone you love."

"Speaking from experience Rosalie?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"No," she replied, trying to look interested in something else.

"Are you sure?"

"What are you implying?"

"You didn't love Jasper when you slept with him?"

"Yeah fine, I did. I loved him, very much. I was dependant on him like he was the life support keeping me alive. It wasn't until later that I realised I could survive without him. But yes, I am speaking from experience because when I had sex with the man I loved it was a hell of a lot better than what happened with the man I didn't."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed that."

"No it's fine, don't apologise. I actually should be the one making an apology."

"To whom?"

"Alice. She said sorry to me for losing it over Jasper but in a way I'm kinda to blame. I've never stopped seeing him as my life support, my saviour, and when she came along that didn't change things. He was still the guy who walked in and found me shattered but took the time to put me back together again. I shouldn't have relied on him so heavily, especially seeing as he was dating Alice. I need to apologise to her for that. I think I played a very big part in their breakup and up until now, I didn't even realise."

"She'll forgive you," I said with confidence because I knew she would.

"She shouldn't. I don't deserve her forgiveness. I was one of her best friends, I shouldn't have done that, despite the history there."

"Alice will understand, trust me on that."

"Ugh, right, enough of the serious stuff. Let's go buy you some sexy undies so Edward can cum in his pants."

"Lovely, thanks for that mental image."

"Oh shush, you know you loved it." I cringed away from her as she pulled me along. I certainly did not love the mental image of my boyfriend ejaculating in his boxers. Frankly that was just not something I wished to think about.

Rose was on a mission then, whipping me round the stores. She purchased far too much underwear for me and at times I did feel a bit uncomfortable. She wasn't fazed at all though and I found it kinda unusual. I don't know why but I'd expect her to be a little tamer when it came to sex, given her previous circumstances. Maybe that was foolish of me to think, but it just seemed a little odd.

After Rose was convinced she had bought enough she then instructed me on how to make my boy work for sex. I tried to tune her out as we walked round the shops looking at what to buy Edward from me. Eventually I found something for him that I figured he would like. Once I had paid for that Rose took us back to the car.

I was too tired to fight her this time so just agreed to let her drive. On the way back Rose continued giving me tips on how to get my boy all worked up. She noticed my frown at one point and immediately called me out on it.

"What's wrong with you?"

"How do you know all this? I mean, no offence Rose but you don't exactly have a whole load of experience."

"None taken. That may be so but I had to start from the very beginning of intimacy. With Jasper we couldn't rush things or I would end up sobbing all the god damn time. It took me two years with Jasper to become confident sexually. I didn't just want to endure through sex, I wanted to enjoy it. So my experience comes from him. He told me everything he liked and what he knew other guys liked. We worked on it and my confidence improved."

"I never realised the two of you had that type of relationship. I knew you guys had sex but I assumed you only did it to get past the fear."

"Honestly, it was a pretty serious relationship. Probably the most serious relationship I'm ever going to have. Pity it was founded on such awful circumstances." She genuinely sounded saddened by that and I had to wonder if she wanted to end things with Jasper.

"Why did you two break up?"

"I couldn't stop thinking about Royce. It was eating away at me. Every time I was with Jasper I would always remember how we met and in turn what Royce did to me."

"But you loved him?"

"Yep."

"And he loved you?"

"Yep."

"Did it hurt to break up with him?"

"Hardest thing I've ever done, and that includes telling my parents about the rape." She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I miss him."

"Jasper?"

"Yeah, he'll always have a place in my heart I guess."

"Do you still talk to him?"

"We stopped for a bit, you know, after the break up and everything. But now we talk a bit yeah. I speak to him at school mostly."

"Do you ever wish that the two of you could still be together?" I asked even though I knew I was pushing my luck.

"I used to, yeah. There are some times now when I think that aswell but…Jasper's better with Alice. He just needs to wake up and realise that."

"Well I guess we'll just have to see how long that takes, and if she'll take him back," I said, shaking my head. I doubted Alice would but stranger things had happened.

For the rest of the journey we were silent, just thinking. I was worried I had brought up too much about her past she wanted kept there. That didn't seem to be the case though. She was acting like her usual self and was thoroughly enjoying driving Edward's baby.

When we pulled up outside the house I could see Edward watching us at the window. I winced, knowing he'd go crazy, and got out the vehicle. Rose helped me with the bags out the boot and we began walking towards the front door after locking the car.

"You're dating a prick but you're dating a prick with one fucking sexy car. When do you think we'll be able to take that baby out again?"

"Looking at Edward's reaction, I'd say never." Rose cursed at that as the door opened, revealing my peeved looking boyfriend.

"I'll take these upstairs," Rose said, grabbing all the bags and slinking away as Edward honed in on me. I grinned up at him innocently but he just shook his head, wearing a blank expression.

"You took my car," he said slowly.

"Eh…yeah, I did." I tried to keep the smile in place but it was falling gradually.

"Why?"

"Rose wanted to go for a spin in it," I said, biting my lip.

"Thanks for ratting me out!" Rose yelled down the stairs. "Let me take the blame why don't you!"

"You let Rose drive it?" Edward asked, not listening to her.

"Yeah. She was bitching about me driving too slow so she took over."

"Rosalie Hale was driving my car?"

"Yep."

"What's wrong with that, do you have a problem with me driving your car?" Rose asked, coming back down the stairs. Her eyebrows were raised and her hands were on her hips.

"Actually yes I do have a problem with your skanky ass driving my car-"

"Before you rant on, maybe you should think of it as payment for all I've done to cover for your asses."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, openly glaring at her.

"Oh that's right, you don't know because your heads shoved so far up your ass."

"Rose, cut to the chase. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Due to your biology escapades I've had to go out of my way to squash any rumours about the two of you being together."

"Someone saw us?!" I asked, completely alarmed, freezing instantly.

"Well, yeah. Are you really that surprised? Did you think you would get away with it? Come on, the two of you had sex in a classroom full of people!"

"Look, have you taken care of it?" Edward asked seriously.

"You bet your ass I have. The whole town is talking about your parent's having a baby that this tiny bit of gossip would spread like wild fire. It would probably reach your parents within hours of getting out. So, I stopped it. They now believe they saw you making inappropriate gestures behind Bella's back," Rose said, smiling sweetly at Edward.

"So I come off as the asshole here?"

"What else is new?" she chimed.

Edward began grumbling away, calling Rose abusive names, and shaking his head. I reached out, grabbing his hand and gave it a squeeze. He looked at me and calmed slightly.

"Fine. Thank you for helping us out," he muttered, clearly unhappy about thanking her.

"Oh you're welcome, but letting me drive your car was thanks enough."

"I didn't let you drive my car, you stole it," he pointed out.

"Actually, she didn't, I did. Well okay, we didn't steal it. We borrowed it," I said, trying to clarify.

"Without my knowledge and permission?" Edward raised an eyebrow at me, most likely thinking how dumb did I expect him to be to buy that.

"I'm your girlfriend, what does it matter?" I smiled lightly.

"It matters, but yes you are my girlfriend. How about next time you just tell me when you want to take it, okay?" I nodded and hugged him, slipping the spare keys into his back pocket as I did.

"Thank you," he whispered, kissing my forehead.

"Ugh, what kind of fight was that?" Rose asked, shaking her head. "Where's all the yelling, the screaming?"

"We resolve matters without that sort of thing," I answered, only to hear Edward snort. "What?" I asked defensively.

"Can you even remember how we handled our little disagreement earlier in your bedroom?" I blushed and nodded.

"Fine, on some occasions we handle things without yelling, slapping and swearing. That better?" I turned to Edward, waiting on his response.

"Much better. Now, if you'll just excuse us Rosalie, I need to speak to Bella for a moment. Emmett's in the kitchen if you want to go and talk to him." She nodded and walked away as Edward led me through into the living room.

To be perfectly honest I was slightly worried about what he had to talk to me about. There was nothing I could think of that would need this sort of privacy. He seemed to have gotten over me taking his car so it couldn't have been that. However, that was the only thing I could think of and the fear of not knowing was worrying me.

Edward walked to the middle of the living room and turned to face me. We were just standing there for a minute or two as I bit my lip anxiously waiting for him to start. He sighed and shook his head then opened his mouth to speak.

"You love me?" My eyes widened instantly and I tried to dart for the door, not wanting to have this conversation. Edward's expression was one of curiosity but there was a bit of what looked like disgust there as well. Regardless if it was or not I was out of there, if only he hadn't caught me

His hands grabbed my wrist and he pulled me back to him. Now I was practically shitting myself. The one thing I knew about him with complete certainty was that he had commitment and abandonment issues. They ruled his life and caused him to push everyone away, like I expected him to do with me. Given that, I couldn't understand then why he was pulling me back to him.

"You've been saying it in your sleep," Edward said, holding my hands so I wouldn't try to walk away again. He noticed my reluctance to talk and sighed. "It scared me shitless the first time I heard it which is why I've been-"

"So distant," I finished for him. He just nodded, looking down at our hands.

"I was…terrified Bella. I had to take a step back from our relationship and I am sorry about that. But this week gave me the chance to come to a realisation."

"And what realisation was that?" I asked, still biting my lip nervously. I was waiting for him to tell me it was over, we were done.

"I realised that I…I love you," he whispered, leaning his forehead against mine. I looked into his beautiful green eyes and grinned when I saw how sincere he was. He chuckled and kissed my cheeks, cupping my face in his hands. "We're in this for the long run now, you know that right?" I nodded and pushed hair away from his face. "And you know what the next step is right?"

"Tell the parents," I supplied. God that was going to be fucking awful.

"Yep."

"When do you want to do that?"

"I'd like a little more time with you before they try and take you away. Let's give it a while." I nodded again and kissed him softly.

"If that's what you want then that's what we'll do." Edward kissed me once more and led me back next door towards the others.

"He's not that scared of commitment," I said to Rose as I sat down next to her. She smirked and raised her eyebrows at me. "You were wrong about him."

"This time I'm very happy about being wrong," she said, smiling.

And so was I very happy about her being wrong. That could have completely blown up in my face but for a change it didn't. Granted, telling Edward I loved him in my sleep wasn't exactly what I was hoping for but still, it got the job done.

For now I would revel in my happiness of knowing the gorgeous bronze haired boy I was lucky to call my boyfriend loved me. Telling the parents would be the real challenge. I know I won't be feeling that happy then. However, as long as Edward and I were in it together then surely we could make it through that minefield. Right?

A/N

Longest chapter yet as I took much longer than I expected updating so I hope this made up for it. *shrugs* I don't know, I'll let you be the judge of that. Another thing, I joined twitter (God only knows why). That's the best way to find out when the next update will be, so if you're interested look me up- going by AeHaS. Right I'm done, I hate these things. Until next time…


	22. Chapter 22: Awkward Introductions

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Twenty Two: Awkward Introductions**

The week had passed rather quickly and before I knew it Edward's birthday was upon me. I had spent Friday night in Edward's bed so woke up there, with my boy sound asleep next to me. He looked gorgeous, with his tousled bed hair and soft looking lips. I couldn't help but smile and cuddle in to his body more, accidently stirring him from his sleep.

He grunted and pulled me closer to him, nuzzling into my neck. I pushed back his hair and began kissing his face lightly. I could feel Edward's arousal getting harder against my thigh, pressing through his boxers. Despite it being my boy's birthday I wasn't going to play nice.

Rosalie had told me to tease him throughout the day and maybe initiate something but to definitely not finish it. It was cruel, yes, but apparently it had to be done for Edward to truly appreciate his other gift later that night.

"Happy Birthday," I whispered, seeing Edward's eyes open slowly.

"Hmm," he mumbled, lightly kissing my neck and moving my leg so it was hoisted over his hip.

"I'm going to go shower," I said, trying to slip out his arms.

"No," Edward grunted, shaking his head.

"Come on Edward, I need to get up before Carlisle and Renee come up here to get you. We don't want to get caught."

"Mmmm, I don't care." His hands slipped down into my shorts, making me slap it away. That got his attention. "Did you just hit me?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Why?" He was frowning and pouting.

"You're not allowed to touch." With him distracted by that thought I slipped away and snuck into the shower. Once I was all clean I nipped back to my bedroom only to see Edward spread out across my bed just in his boxers. "What are you doing?"I asked.

"You were right, Renee and Carlisle came up to my bedroom just minutes after you went into the shower." I smirked and dropped my towel, causing him to groan loudly.

"Why are you punishing me? Shouldn't I be spoilt today?" I chuckled and shook my head.

"You'll get spoilt later, trust me." That perked him up but you could still see the longing in his eyes as he watched my body move around the room, getting my clothes.

"I want it to be later."

"Oh shush, just be patient. Anyway, what did Carlisle and Renee want?"

"They want to see me downstairs so they can give me some gifts."

"So why are you here?"

"I want you to come down with me. I don't like being around those two together. It freaks me out."

"How so?"

"Well they act all in love and that crap. I hate it." Rolling my eyes I finished getting dressed and then walked over to the bed. Taking Edward's hand I led him back into his room to put on a shirt so we could go downstairs.

Carlisle and Renee were sitting in the dining room, eating breakfast and reading the newspapers. They both stopped what they were doing and smiled as we entered; now not holding hands.

"Happy birthday son," Carlisle said, looking much happier than usual.

"Yeah, cheers," Edward replied, running his hand through his hair.

"Come take a seat, join us the two of you. And happy birthday," my mother practically sang. We both did as we were instructed, taking seats opposite each other, and grabbed some food.

At the end of the table, closest to Carlisle, lay a small pile of neatly wrapped presents, with cards on top. The lot was passed down to Edward as he poured us some juice. He finished what he was doing then thanked our parents, gradually opening each one.

Carlisle and Renee gave Edward six tickets to a concert he had wanted to attend in two weeks time, several books, some movies, and a bunch of other little things. I was just watching my boy, seeing how he reacted to his presents. The one he was most excited about by the looks of things were the tickets. As there were six of them and I knew that no way in hell would he invite Jasper that meant there was an open spot. We'd no doubt discuss that later though.

"Thank you, both of you, for the gifts," Edward said, smiling softly to our parents.

"You're very welcome. Now, Renee and I are going out. We've decided to turn the spare bedroom in to the new baby's room. So today we're going to look for furniture. You two enjoy your day and we'll be back later," Carlisle said, politely excusing my mother and himself.

The two of them vacated the dining room, grabbed their jackets and within minutes were out the door. Edward and I continued eating our breakfast and then he made his way back upstairs to get dressed while I cleaned up.

Once Edward returned he jumped up onto the kitchen counter and watched me move about him, occasionally reaching out to push the hair out of my face or touch my arm.

"Will you go with me to that concert?" he asked, sounding slightly worried.

"Of course I will, why wouldn't I want to?"

"I don't know just maybe you wouldn't."

"Well I do, thank you for asking me." I leant over and kissed him on the cheek then went back what I was doing. "Who else are you inviting?"

"I was thinking of asking Emmett and Rosalie, do you think they'd go? No screw that, I know Emmett will come. Will Rosalie want to though?"

"I'm sure she would, just ask her and find out. I know this is like breaking a rule with her, being nice and all, but I'm sure you can put your differences aside to invite her to this." Edward rolled his eyes at me and nodded.

"I was also thinking of inviting Alice?" It came out like a question, making me stop and turn to my boy.

"You can invite whoever you want, you know that right?"

"Yeah I do I just don't want you upset if I invite her."

"Oh God, I'm one of those girlfriends aren't I?" I put my head in my hands and groaned.

"One of what girlfriends?" Edward asked, frowning in confusion.

"The ones who don't let their boyfriends see their friends. God, I'm sorry Edward. I didn't realise that's what I had done. Shit, really, I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey, stop it. You're not like that. Do I have to remind you that you found Alice and me in bed together? You did the right thing by asking me to take a step back from her cause in all honesty, I sort of viewed Alice as my soon to be girlfriend, not just a friend."

"I know you did but still, I don't want you thinking that you have to run everything by me before you do it. She's your friend, and I'm actually meant to be hers but clearly I'm not a very good one. Look, just invite who you want, I don't mind either way. I'm sorry I pushed the two of you apart." Edward shook his head and hopped off the counter.

"I wasn't like that at all, but thank you. So that's you and me, Emmett and Rosalie, then Alice and her boyfriend."

"Whoa, what?! Alice has a boyfriend? It's not Jasper, is it?"

"Pfft, of course not. If it was Jasper I'd be going mental, and certainly wouldn't invite that bastard along."

"So who is her boyfriend?"

"You met him the other week, Garrett. He's a good friend of mine, minus the pot."

"Is this not a shock to you?"

"Well no because I knew about it. But yeah to begin with, when I found out who she was dating it was. Garrett, although he's a stand up guy, usually goes for girls looking like Rose, not like Alice. However, Alice was in a real mess after the break up with Jasper and Garrett sought her out to look after her. He's a selfless kinda guy and would help anyone. The two of them hit it off and now are dating."

"Does Jasper know?"

"How the fuck would I know? I don't keep tabs on that prick." I rolled my eyes at Edward's response and moved away from him.

"So it'll be the six of us then?"

"Yep, or at least I hope so. They've still got to say yes first."

"Don't worry about that. Now, seeing as the parentals are out I was wondering if you'd maybe like to celebrate your birthday early?" I asked, kissing his neck and running my hand through his hair.

"That sound like a great idea," Edward replied, grinning crookedly at me.

I untangled myself from him and took his hand, leading him out of the kitchen and into the living room. This was the part where I would initiate something and then no finish it, being extra cruel so he was all worked up for tonight. Rose kindly said this type of torture would bring him the best orgasm of his life. Meh, we'll see later if that's true.

"Sit," I commanded at Edward. He smirked and did as he was told, taking a seat in the centre of the couch.

Casually I spread his legs apart and slipped down to my knees. He was then grinning widely and biting his lip. I couldn't help but chuckle and shake my head at him. Granted, it was pretty obvious what he was doing but from the look on his face it was as though I'd never done this to him before. Silly boy.

Unbuckling his belt I opened up his jeans. Edward was already hard as hell, which I could feel as my hands brushed over the front of his crotch. He was whimpering with each movement, lifting his hips up so I could slide his pants down his legs.

With him finally free of his constraints I took Edward's erection firmly in my hand. Instantly he bucked his hips up for more friction, earning a tut tut tut from me. My boy began whining but abruptly stopped when he saw me raise my eyebrows at him.

Thinking I had maybe teased him enough I decided to give my boy what he wanted, by taking him into my mouth. A throaty groan was all I heard as I began swirling my tongue round the top of his erection. This wasn't exactly my favourite past time but by god did my boy love it when I went down on him.

"Bella….oh shit…amazing," he moaned out, practically panting. I hollowed out my cheeks and groaned, trying to make this a good as possible for him. Well he seemed to bloody love it.

Gently he placed his hand on the back of my head, not forcing me to go faster or slower, just laying it there. His fingers became tangled in my hair and then he did start to set the pace but I was expecting that so didn't mind as much.

I increased the speed and began taking more of him into my mouth, so he was hitting the back of my throat. Surprisingly I wasn't gagging like crazy which was great as far as I was concerned. It would have been a turn off if I had.

Without any warning of what was going on Edward cursed loudly and instead of cumming like I was expecting him to he shoved my head away from him. My jaw clamped down in surprise but thankfully for him he was out of my mouth at the time. I don't think he'd be pleased at all if I bit off his dick.

I fell backwards due to the force of his shove and hit my head against the coffee table. It hurt like a bitch and was exceedingly pissed for his sudden actions.

"What the fuck was that for you jackass?!" I screamed at him, slapping him on the chest from my position on the floor. "If you wanted me to stop you just have to fucking ask, not shove me off. That bloody hurt you daft prick!"

Edward wasn't even paying attention to me, which infuriated me more. I whirled round to see what he was looking at and just about shat myself.

"Oh my fucking God," I whispered.

In the doorway was Edward's mother, Esme. She looked just like her photos I had seen. Upon realising that I was just caught in the act of fellatio with her son I blushed and looked down at the ground in shame.

"Hello mother, how long you been standing there?" Edward asked, standing up after putting himself back in his pants and running a hand through his hair.

"Too long," she replied, clearly pissed off. "I had only been here a few seconds before you lifted your head. I was completely frozen to the floor at the sight of this shameful behaviour."

Edward helped me up off the ground so I was standing and avoided all eye contact. The boy didn't want to look at anyone, especially Esme, who was just standing there watching us closely. Once I was standing I pretended to brush some dirt of my thighs and keep myself occupied while the awkward silence continued to hang in the air.

"I'm going to get my bags from the car. When I return, you can introduce me to your girlfriend here." With that Esme walked off.

I collapsed back onto the couch, putting my head in my hands and holding back all the emotions I could. I felt like I was going to cry. Edward sat down next to me and put his arm round my shoulders, leaning his head against mine.

"It'll be okay, we'll work this out."

"Do you think she knows who I am?" I asked.

"I don't think so, not as of yet anyway. It won't take her long to suss it though."

"Oh God, we're totally screwed," I whined, my legs shaking in fear.

"Come on, we can do this Bella, don't shut down on me now," he pleaded. I nodded, sighing, and got up, grabbing his shirt and pulling him to me.

Without giving it much thought I kissed him with everything I had. Edward returned the kiss with as much eagerness as possible and soon enough we both pulled back panting. It was like we were trying to get one last fix of each other before we were torn apart. However, I really hoped we weren't going to be split. It would kill me to not being around him.

"I love you," I whispered, kissing him softly again.

"I love you too, and don't worry about my mother, I'm pretty sure we could both take her."

"I wish I had your confidence," I mumbled, slowly running my hands through his hair.

We stopped our interactions completely when we heard the front door close loudly. Esme's footsteps could be heard quite noisily now across the wooden floor. Knowing that we had to go and face the music Edward grabbed my hand and pulled us out into the foyer.

"So shall we formally introduce ourselves now that you no longer have my son's penis in your mouth?" Esme asked, one eyebrow cocked up. Edward sighed loudly and shook his head.

"Mother, be nice please."

"I'm always nice," she said, but I did beg to differ. This woman was as cold as ice it seemed and no bloody wonder Edward had so many problems regarding her, she was the Ice Queen.

"Bella this is my mother Esme, Mother this is Bella."

"Nice to meet you," I said politely, giving a soft smile.

"I wish I could say the same thing. Edward, take my bags upstairs will you." It was not a question but an order.

"You're staying here?!"

"Well of course. Where else would I be staying?"

"A hotel or you know, just not stay at all, go on back to L.A."

"Don't be ridiculous Edward, this is your eighteenth birthday, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"So eighteen is important, what about thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen and you know, seventeen. Are those birthdays not important for you to attend?"

God this was so awkward.

Esme straightened out her skirt, looking down at it while doing so as Edward gave her a hard stare. My boy was pretty pissed and clearly did not want Esme staying here at all.

"You know, I don't give a fuck. Stay here if you want, I'm sure that's all we need. Does dad even know you're staying here?"

"Yes he does. His new wife invited me to stay here actually. How is the new family? Awful I'm sure. And the girl, ugh, she shouldn't be in this house at all. They're so beneath us it's appalling to have them here. I hope she knows her place. But I'm sure you have your opinions of her, how is she?"

"My step-sister is lovely actually. We're very good friends."

"Well don't get too comfortable with her, and make sure your father doesn't either. We do not want him handing off half of your inheritance to this girl. She doesn't deserve it."

"Do you know her mother?"

"I haven't met her, thank God. Though I do remember the gossip about her mother, the no good gold-digger. I'm still ashamed that Carlisle fell for her floozy tricks. Oh and this morning, Mrs Peterson told me that they're having a baby together. I wanted to have more kids but Carlisle said no, and now he's having another eighteen years later. What a stupid man."

"Yes, the baby was a surprise."

"Surely you're not happy with it?"

"I'm not but it is they're life they can do what they want. I don't have to live here anymore so what does it matter?"

"Yes, you can move away. I was hoping you would come and live with me in L.A."

"That's not going to happen. I'm planning on staying here. There's no way in hell I'd move to where you are."

"No need to be rude about it Edward, you could have just said no. I am your mother; I do deserve some form of respect."

"I have given that to you, by not throwing you out the house."

"This is still my home."

"No it's not, don't be foolish."

"Is he as rude to you as he is to me?" Esme asked me directly. I shook my head, not really sure what to say. "Well anyway Bella, let's start over, shall we?"

"Sure." Though I don't think I would be able to given her opinion of me. When she found out that I was in fact the step-sister she just spent time insulting I don't think everything would go over too well.

"So dear, what's your surname? I didn't catch it."

"Swan."

"Swan…hmm, that's the same name as Carlisle's new-"she stopped mid sentence, her face going pale. "Oh dear God, you're not, please tell me Edward that you are not fornicating with your step-sister?" Before Edward even had a chance to open his mouth Esme was off again. "I can't believe this! What the hell are you thinking! This is like incest, what were you thinking? I know you weren't, well at least not with your head. God Edward, this will bring shame to the Cullen name, how could you?"

"Mother, shut up, please." Esme raised her eyebrows at her son, clearly not impressed with his response.

"At least answer me this Edward, does your father know?"

"No he doesn't, and you're not going to tell him." Esme laughed at us and shook her head.

"This is dreadful." She shook her head once more and then turned to me. "I would like to speak to my son alone so please leave us." It was like I was the hired help being sent away.

"Don't talk to her like that," Edward said, glaring. He grabbed my hand and took me into the kitchen, muttering to his mother that he'd be back in a minute. "I'm sorry about her," he began, whispering to me.

"It's okay," I said, looking down at our entwined hands.

"No it's bloody not. But look, she may not like you but I love you so it doesn't matter." I smiled up at him softly, loving how secure he made me feel.

"Thank you, now go, I don't want her hating me even more." Edward frowned but gave me a weak smile anyway. Gently he kissed me, caressing my cheek and then walked back out over to Esme.

I watched him go then deviated back round to go up the stairs. I didn't want to be anywhere near her right now, knowing that they were probably about to have a big argument. It just seemed better to go upstairs and wait for Edward rather than be a nuisance and stick around. Plus, I doubt I'd want to hear some of the things she was going to say about me or my mother.

Once in my room I hunted out some wrapping paper and set to work on my boy's present. I didn't know really what to get him when Rose and I were out shopping so I went for something simple and practical. With Rose I bought a watch for him, as he didn't seem to like the one he had.

It was just like a regular guy's watch, which was what I was going for to begin with. However that seemed rather dull so earlier on in the week I took it in to get engraved. At the time I had it done it seemed fitting, but now the cat was out of the bag it didn't really.

Engraved on the underside of the watch were the words: '_My Secret Sin_' as that is what he was to me. Edward was pure sin in every manner, the fact that he was my step-brother made it more taboo and then there was how it was kept a secret, until half an hour ago that was.

Either way I had to give him the watch, it was the only gift I had, apart from my body which was more of Rose's gift to him. Shaking my head I continued to wrap up his gift in blue paper and stuck a silver bow on top. Hopefully Edward would like it when I gave it to him, if not, oh well I tried.

With the present wrapped up nicely I tucked it away to give to him later that night. Of course once I had finished doing that I really didn't have anything else to. Grabbing my phone I decided to call Rose, hoping she'd keep me amused. Right enough, she did.

Rose was very surprised by Alice getting a new boyfriend too and she didn't think Jasper knew. That would definitely be interesting when he found out. Though I did feel a little sorry for him, I don't think he thought it would turn out this way. However, it wasn't like he didn't bring it on himself.

"So did you get a chance to talk to Alice this week?" I asked, lounging about on my bed.

"Not yet, I chickened out," Rose admitted. "Ugh I do have to do it though, don't I?"

"Yes, yes you do. When are you going to do it?"

"I don't know, when do I have to do it?"

"Do it now," I said, seeing no issue with doing it immediately.

"Really, just go over now? Do you think she would mind me going over? Honestly Bella I don't think she'd let me in the house. Would you come with me?"

"Sure, if you want. And I don't think she'd mind. I get the impression that Alice would actually like to get some friends back. I mean, she only hangs around with the drama group and apparently now Garrett but other than that there's no one. We were her friends, and now we're not really."

"Yeah I know. So I take it we're going to Alice's house then?"

"Yes. Can you come pick me up?"

"I can do that yeah. What about your boy? It is his birthday, he want to come along?"

"He can't. His mother's here." Rose practically cackled upon hearing that.

"You're shitting me?"

"Nope," I replied, rolling my eyes at her reaction.

"Oh God, that's got to be awkward for you."

"You have no idea," I muttered.

"What do you mean?" Sighing I explained what previously happened, earning Rose's wild laughter down the phone. "Glad you're amused," I deadpanned.

"Oh come on Bella, that is fucking funny. If that had happened to me you would be wetting yourself." I grunted in agreement, knowing I would probably be in hysterics but sadly my head was still sore from the bloody coffee table.

"Right, anyway, are we going to Alice's?"

"Yeah I'll be there soon, see you then." Rose hung up, leaving me about fifteen minutes to get ready to go.

I got myself ready and then decided to put Edward's present on his bed for him, so he would be able to open it alone. I don't know why but I didn't want to be there when he opened it. I guess I was just nervous about his reaction.

My phone buzzing in my pocket alerted me to Rose's arrival. Grabbing a jacket off the back of my door I began making my way down the stairs, only to hear the end of Esme and Edward's argument.

"It's a bloody disgrace Edward, you messing around with that girl! What if you she gets pregnant? What are you going to do then? She has no morals, you would have to raise it all on your own, she would just freeload off of you, off of us!"

"It doesn't concern you and don't talk about her that way, I love her!"

"Do you hell! You love the idea of her, the taboo and the sin involved, you do not love her. There is nothing about her to love!"

The step at the bottom of the stairs creaked and within seconds Edward had stuck his head round the door to see what was going on. I winced and shook my head, muttering sorry before heading for the front door.

"Wait!" Edward called, reaching for my arm. He stopped me by the door, and engulfed me in a hug. "I love you no matter what she says, okay?" I nodded and gave him a peck on the lips.

"I'm going to Alice's with Rose. See you later?"He nodded and let me go, kissing the back of my hand.

Shutting the door I ran down to Rose's car and jumped in. She didn't hang around, just flew down the driveway and onto the main road.

"So tense moment inside there?"

"Yeah, I just want his mother gone now," I muttered, shaking my head.

Esme's arrival was so sudden and unexpected that she really threw me. Now I didn't know what was going to happen. She had all the power now, and could tell Renee and Carlisle, essentially ripping us apart.

Carlisle would send him away, no doubt. He would most likely end up going to some rubbish boarding school on the other side of the country from me. Although Edward turned eighteen today he was still very much under his parents thumb. They paid for everything, owned his car, got him through school, and were going to be paying his university fees. We couldn't risk them taking that away. I had things set up for me so I was safe but I knew Edward wouldn't have that luxury.

Our relationship could basically screw up the rest of his life, and if it did I would feel appalling.

Rose parked the car outside Alice's house and we both got out, giving me a chance to leave those worries behind and focus on some other ones. It really wasn't right that I just abandoned Alice, despite us apologising to one another, and carried on like everything was normal. I should have been a better friend.

Rosalie had her own things to apologise for, mostly related to Jasper. I didn't have all the details about that relationship but I did know it couldn't have been easy for any of them. Alice must have found it near impossible to always watch her boyfriend return to her best friends, and his ex girlfriend's, arms. I knew I certainly wouldn't have been able to handle it. In fact I distinctly remember not handling it when I found the two of them wrapped up in bed together, no matter how innocent that was, and it happened only once.

Ringing the door bell the two of us waited on the front steps rather anxiously. We could hear the jingling of the keys on the other side of the door, at least letting us know that someone was in. However, when the door opened we weren't met with Alice or either of her parents, but rather Garrett instead. Well, at least I thought that was Garrett.

"Hey Rose, Bella, what you guys doing here?" Even though I wasn't entirely sure who this was they seemed to know me. That's got to be a good thing, right?

Rose smiled up at the guy in the doorway and then gave him a hug, which I thought were very unusual. The only two guys I had seen Rose physically touch were Emmett and Jasper. Her just randomly showing affection to another was a bit odd to see.

"Hey Garrett-" I had his name right, that was a start. "-we're here to see Alice, she around?"

"Yeah, come on in. Say happy birthday to your step-brother for my Bella, I haven't had a chance to catch up with him in a while."

"Will do," I replied, just nodding.

"Alice is upstairs, come up."

"I'll stay down here, you go," I said to Rose, making sure she didn't back out from what she came here to do.

"Oh right, okay, well I'll stay with you Bella, keep you company," Garrett added, clearly catching on that Rose and Alice were to speak in private.

"Thanks."

Rose made her way upstairs while Garrett and I headed into the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for me and then sat down himself. I briefly recalled Edward saying he smoked pot but at that time he didn't look high at all, which I was glad about.

"So how is Edward?"

"He's okay. His mum's home."

"Shit, God that's not good." Garrett shook his head, sighing. "I'll call him later; see how things really are going there. Can't be good, that's for sure."

"No it's not. He's a bit of a mess right now, sadly."

"So, you didn't wince when I called him your step-brother, good on you."

"Why would I wince?" I asked, feigning innocence. Garrett laughed and shook his head.

"Bella I know you're seeing Edward. He was never very good at hiding his emotions." I was beginning to think everyone knew about the two of us. "Don't worry; I'm not going to say anything. Edward is one of my closest friends; I wouldn't do that to him."

"So you and Alice?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Without a doubt I would have to have conversations about our relationship later, for now I just wanted to talk about anything but that.

"Yeah, she's…great." He was looking off at the kitchen counter though it was clear his thoughts weren't' on that but on the girl upstairs.

"What do you think of Jasper?"

"I think he's one messed up guy. I don't hate him or like him, just pity him for letting such a great girl go. But, his loss, my gain."

Garrett and I continued talking about Alice for a bit and I learnt that she wasn't hurt by my distance. According to him, she understood how I must have felt seeing the guy I liked with another girl. It was still evident that Alice didn't know Edward and I were together and the guilt hit me a little harder.

It was about time she found out so I was going to tell her once Rose was done apologising. Garrett heard me out and agreed that would be the best thing to do as he didn't like keeping secrets from his girlfriend either; it just wasn't nice having to tiptoe around the issue when it could be all out in the open.

Not long after I came to this decision Rosalie and Alice made their way down the stairs, laughing about something. Alice smiled brightly upon seeing me and handed over a gift.

"For Edward, his birthday," she explained. I nodded and placed it to the side then got up and gave her a hug. I wasn't one for just hugging folk for the sake of it but I felt that in a time like this, having not really seen a whole lot of Alice, that it was only appropriate.

Her small little arms squeezed me back and then she trotted on over to Garrett's waiting embrace. He kissed her on the cheek and spun her round so her back was against his chest.

"Eh Alice, I have something to tell you and I'm sorry for not telling you sooner," I started. Immediately she frowned at me.

"What is it Bella?"

"Edward and I have been seeing each other, for quite a while."

"How long is a while?" she asked. I saw Garrett's arms hold her to him tighter and couldn't help but wonder if she was fighting against his grip so she could claw my eyes out. Somehow I doubted it though.

Rose helped me fight my case as I explained everything. Alice was a little hurt by not knowing but then seemed to understand things a lot better, mainly why I freaked out about him being in bed with her.

When Rose and I left Alice's house things had been sorted out completely and Alice was actually very happy for the two of us. She said she could tell that Edward liked me but had no idea things had moved passed like and were now into love.

Talking about my boy made me want to go back and see him so right after everything was patched up Rose took me home. She spotted Emmett's jeep in the driveway so got out and accompanied me inside. She was just going to give me instructions on how to dress myself etc. and how to do my hair to wow my boy tonight but decided just to do it herself.

"Hey you two, where you been?" Emmett asked the second we had the door open.

"Alice's house. Where's Edward?" I asked, looking round. As I did he walked into the hallway smiling at Emmett and holding two games for his console up in the media room.

"Cheers mate, you want a game?" Edward spotted us and winked at me. "Nice to see you both."

"She still here?" I asked, trying to look over his shoulder.

"No, she's gone to see my step-father, thank God. I would be pissed if he was staying here too. So Em, you want to play?"

"Of course." Edward handed him the games and Emmett set off up the stairs, Rose following behind.

My boy was by me in seconds, pulling my body against his and nuzzling into my neck.

"I loved your gift, thank you. Though why didn't you give it to me yourself?"

"It seemed rather silly now that we've been found out. Is she going to say anything?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"No, she's not. And what do you mean it's rather silly? Bella, I love it. It's very fitting and practical. Thank you," he said, kissing my lips. "The engraving was brilliant, one hundred percent accurate."

"Glad you liked it," I said, kissing him once more and heading on up the stairs.

Edward followed behind and we joined Em and Rose in the media room. The two of them were battling it out and to save time we just joined in their battle, talking about random things and generally having a goodtime.

"Where are Carlisle and Renee?"I asked, glancing at the clock to see it was coming up to dinner time.

"They've gone to meet friends. Pizza is on its way. We ordered a bunch just before you got back."

"Oh cheers." I kissed him on the cheek as thanks, making him lose a life in the process.

Not long after we said that the doorbell rang. Edward went to get the door, paid for the pizzas and brought them up to us with bottles of water. The four of us sat around eating and playing. It was good, hanging out like nothing was wrong, and I assumed that maybe Alice and Garrett would join us when we did this next time. That would certainly be a way to bring them back into the group.

"Okay I hate to break this up but I need to go get your present ready, for which I need Bella's assistance," Rose said, standing up and brushing herself down.

"You got me something, really?" Edward asked, frowning. "I thought you all were kidding when you said that.

"Well we weren't. Not only did I get you a gift I got you the best gift," Rose declared smugly.

"Yeah, I'll be the judge of that. But please, I'm intrigued, go."

Rose smiled and entwined her arm with mine, leading me up the stairs. She was quickly reminding me of all the things I had to do tonight in order to make my boy cum like he's never cum before. To appease Rose I nodded along but really was shitting myself on the inside. I didn't think I'd be able to pull it off at all, confident and sexy just wasn't me.

"Right, let's get you dolled up." I just nodded and followed Rose into the bathroom.

Inside, on the counter, lay an elaborate selection of lingerie. Rose started handing me things and telling me to strip down. Not really caring about modesty I did as I was told and eventually she had me sexed up in a black satin gothic lace corset, matching briefs (because apparently the thong was too much), suspenders and heels.

Rose then set on doing my hair and adding some light make-up. Standing back from me she grinned mischievously and nodded.

"I would fuck you so that's saying something. Your boy isn't going to know what's hit him." Grabbing my arm Rose set me by the door and peeked her head out. "Edward, sit down over on your couch please." Her voice was too sweet, which I think was what held Edward up.

"Why? What are you going to do?" he asked, sounding very worried.

"Oh just shut the fuck up and sit over there….whining little bitch." Of course, the same old Rose was still in there.

"Bugger off blondie, no one asked you to be here and ruin my day."

"Do you want to get your present or not?"

"Knowing you it's going to be shit, so no, I don't want it." I couldn't help but snort at that.

"Fine, Bella and I are going out to this new burlesque club that's just opened up." Rose grabbed my arm and pulled me out the bathroom.

""What the fuck?" Edward groaned, looking me over. I could already see him hardening in his jeans, gah my boy loves it, superb.

"This is my present to you," Rose said, smiling brightly and waving her hand in front of my body. "But you didn't want it so we're going out." I was dragged again across the floor.

"No! Wait!" Edward cried, not wanting me to leave. "You're pimping out my girlfriend, like she's your whore? That's my gift?" Edward asked, smiling a little.

"Basically, yeah. So do you want it?"

"Fuck yeah," Edward muttered, nodding wildly.

"Good. Now enjoy!" Rose called, shutting the door behind her. I was left standing by the door, dolled up like a sex kitten, with my boy's eyes burning into me.

"You look bloody amazing." Edward whispered, biting his lip.

"Thank you." I smiled softly at him, then change character completely, like I was told. Rose said I had to deliver this with confidence or it wasn't going to work but all I wanted to do was just go over and let him do as he pleased. As though Edward would sense my nervousness he walked over and pulled me into a hug.

"Just be yourself, please," he whispered, kissing my cheek. "I don't want you to be someone else; I just want Bella, not sexed up Bella, just my Bella."

He kissed me softly and led me backwards to the bed, running his hands over the corset and groaning.

"At some point though, we're going to have to come back to this outfit, okay?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, kissing his jaw and working my way to his lips.

"You really do look sinful."

Edward hoisted me up, so my legs were around his waist, and then moved us on to the bed, so I was below him. His erection was pressing right against me, making me whimper in anticipation. I bucked my hips up, causing him to take a sharp breath.

"I love you, and I'm sorry for what my mother said earlier. She doesn't know you like I know you and she doesn't want to get to know you, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising," I whispered, running my hands through his soft bronze hair and kissing him. "I love you too, don't worry. You're mother won't scare me away from you."

"Thank the lord," Edward muttered, running his hands up my legs, and playing with the top of the suspenders.

His whole body was above mine, using one of his arms to hold him up while the other adventured. My body was in tune with his touches, acting accordingly and letting him know I loved what he was doing, as if the noises I was making weren't enough.

I wanted to get the same reactions from him so worked on getting him out of his clothes. He helped me take off his shirt and the t-shirt he had on below it but didn't help me with his pants. I was to do that on my own apparently.

His smooth hands went to the front fastening on the corset and began undoing that. I arched my back up into his hands once he had freed my breasts, showing them an ample amount of attention. While he was getting reacquainted with them I was unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans.

This was the second time I had done this today but I knew this time round would be more successful. I really doubted we'd receive another surprise visit from Esme. And if we did, then we're both just fucking unlucky. She'd turn out to be our cockblocker and on my boy's birthday that's just not good enough.

Edward, having grown tired of using his hands, resorted to using his tongue and lips to show me how much he loved my skin. With the increased amount of skin on skin contact the pressure was building and I couldn't help but grind myself against him.

With the corset on the floor next to go were the heels. Edward kissed and licked down my body, paying special attention to the inside of my thigh, and removed the black heels I had been instructed to wear. The hit the floor with a thud, signalling we were that much closer to being together.

My boy's eyes devoured my body, only in the briefs and suspenders, then set to work taking them off. As he was doing that I was stroking his skin, tugging at his hair, grinding into him and just generally trying to get the pleasure we so desired.

Every so often Edward would whisper things to me, mostly about how much he loved me. This heightened the whole experience as for the first time it actually felt like we were on the brink of making love rather than just screwing. He must have felt the same way as he dragged the foreplay out considerably more than usual, not that I was complaining.

Eventually though enough was enough and I wanted my fill of him. He had refrained from giving me my orgasm in order to make it better for later but I hated being patient. I set out on removing him of his jeans properly and getting him out of his boxers. He removed the suspenders and the briefs, causing a whole new frenzy on my body.

My panting and whimpering was growing louder with each touch, kiss and lick. His grunting, moaning and groaning was growing louder with each caress, stroke and grind. If anyone had come in the house it would be blatantly obvious what we were up to.

Finally we were both naked, devouring each other's bodies in a slow and careful manner, like we were doing this for the first time all over again. His touches were soft and gentle but held enough passion to keep me from begging for more.

The longer we prolonged the actual act the more the ache grew, for both of us. Edward was throbbing for release and I was close to crying out. So when he did enter me in one swift thrust it was glorious. The need for him had been off the charts.

Despite wanting to just thrust wildly Edward kept his cool and self-control. He was taking long slow thrusts, torturing me. I began bucking my hips for a quicker result, only to have him hold him hip down with one hand.

Edward had buried his head in the crook of me neck and was kissing and whispering to me. At that point in time I felt so loved it was unbelievable. The cocky asshole I knew and hated was still in there but now he only showed me his caring and compassionate sides, for which I was glad.

Of course, my boy wasn't able to hold back his self-control at all times. With each passing thrust the next was harder, faster, deeper and despite it being a little uncomfortable at times the pleasure out weighed it all. I was flying high, about to fall and hit the group with one fuckworthy orgasm. Then it came.

Crying out Edward's name I tightened round him and pulled at his hair, loving the feeling. He was close to follow behind me. Edward grunted and with one last thrust came undone, his head in the crook of my neck breathing deeply, one hand in my hair and the other on the bed. I kept my legs wrapped around him, holding his body to mine, and making sure he wasn't planning on moving anytime soon.

Our breathing eventually calmed down and Edward then began kissing the skin of my neck. He seemed to have a fixation with that part of my body, not that I was complaining. It felt great when he paid special attention to me.

We lay like that for quite some time, just relaxing in the post-coital bliss that was upon us. Only when my legs started to hurt did we have to move, and I was reluctant about that. I wanted us to be able to stay like that indefinitely, just my boy and me, joined together as one, a united front. Sadly the ache in my muscles was too much for it to last any longer.

"As much as I don't want you to move you need to," I whispered, kissing his neck and kneading the muscles on his back.

"Why's that?"

"My hips are killing me." Edward chuckled and pushed his body up off of me.

"I'm sorry," he said smiling. "I'll make it up to you later, alright?"

"I'll hold you to it." Edward grinned wildly and walked across the floor stark naked, getting some clothes. He bent over, giving me a bloody brilliant view, and grabbed some boxers and a t-shirt. He put them on then threw me a worn shirt.

"No, I don't want this. You got some fresh clothes I can wear?" I asked, smelling the shirt, and definitely not wanting to wear it.

"Sure." Edward rooted in his drawers and threw a clean Rugby shirt my way. I crawled out from under the sheets and put it on.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have socks? My feet are cold." My boy chuckled and passed me some socks.

"We wouldn't want you to get cold feet now, would we?" I sensed there was a double meaning, specifically related to Esme and what may come of her knowing.

"I'm not going to leave you," I said, walking over to him. "Never forget that because I won't leave you." Edward nodded and kissed me, holding onto the excess shirt hanging off of my body.

"You want to go and kick my ass on these new games Emmett bought?" I nodded and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Yes please."

The two of us fixed the bed so it wasn't obvious what we had been up to and then headed down to the media room. My boy set it up for me so I could play as I was technically challenged with that bit, and then we got down to playing.

Edward was losing badly but seemed to be in good spirits about it, I loved how he wasn't a sore loser. We played a few more games, laughing and joking about while doing so before we heard the front door close and the noise of footsteps. The parentals were back sadly.

"That must be them home, come on, let's go see what they bought before they come up here and get us," Edward said, setting his controller down and shutting the games console off. I stood up and stretched prior to following him down the stairs.

Carlisle was in the hallway, sorting through the mail when we reached the bottom. He looked up smiling but it faltered slightly, then I realised why. Edward was only standing in his boxers and a t-shirt while I was in his Rugby shirt and socks, which were bunched up around my ankles. Our look didn't exactly scream step-siblings, more boyfriend and girlfriend after sex, especially with how our hair was.

I was getting very worried with the possibility that we might have blown our cover for a second time today that I began biting my lip nervously. Before Carlisle could say anything about our attire the doorbell rang, signalling Esme's arrival.

"I'll get it," my mother called, coming into the hallway smiling happily. I had never seen her act so warm and friendly in all her other marriages, it was a rare sight to see and one that scared me a little. She obviously loved Carlisle very much and therefore would have no plans of breaking the marriage off. Guess we'd all have to play happy families for just a while longer, unless Esme has anything to say about that.

"Please come on in." Renee ushered Esme into the house, taking her jacket and hanging it up as Carlisle greeted his ex-wife.

I suspected the two of them to be glaring daggers at one another but that was not happening at all. Instead Carlisle pulled Esme into a hug, kissing her on the cheek and stepped back smiling. It was completely bizarre.

The adults conversed for a few moments before we were invited into the conversation. Edward gave his mother a brief nod, ignoring his father's pleas to greet his mother more affectionately than that. And then the introductions began for me.

_Well at least this time round you don't have her son's dick in your mouth. _

"You must be Isabella," Esme said, plastering on a fake smile. I nodded and shook her hand then took a step back so I was in line with my boy, as though using him for protection against. "It's lovely to meet you."

"You too," I added, hoping her attention would turn away from me.

"You look just like your father Isabella, do you know that?" I paused and looked over at Edward then to Esme.

"I have been told that yes, thank you." I actually hadn't but figured it best to just agree, maybe then she'd leave me alone faster.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to him."

"Her father died when she was two, fifteen fucking years ago, how the hell would you know what her father looked like?!" Edward asked, grabbing my hand. I tried to pull away from him but he wouldn't let it go so instead I opted for moving closer. Our hands ended up being concealed behind his body.

"He's an honoured member of the community, son. Don't be so disrespectful." Esme turned away from us to look at Renee. "Thank you for letting me stay here Renee, so I could be closer to Edward. That was very kind of you."

"Not a problem at all. In fact, why don't you invite your husband to stay here aswell, it's only fair."

"Fuck no," Edward declared loudly. "That prick is not living here."

"Edward, language please. It's not appropriate to swear like that," Esme scolded. It was blatantly obvious however that Edward was not going to listen to his mother. That was clear from the muttering under his breath about someone being a fucking wanker; I could only assume it was in reference to his step-father.

"Look, we're going to go upstairs," Edward said, shaking his head and knowing he wouldn't be winning this argument.

"No Edward, stay down here and talk to your mother," Carlisle said, making it a clear command.

"I'll see you upstairs, okay?" Edward whispered, giving my hand a squeeze.

"Yeah." Nodding at Esme I departed.

Upstairs I waited in my boy's room for him to come up. Roughly forty minutes after I left him he joined me, looking worn out. Like our usual routine we got ready for bed and then settled into his. Even though the parentals were downstairs seeing as they never came to the third floor we assumed we could get away with just sleeping in each other's beds no bother. And so far there had been no problems, or at least none we knew of.

The two of us got under the covers and curled up into one another, both of us wanting comfort and warmth. I listened to his steady heartbeat, waiting for him to talk.

"Esme won't say anything…yet. She's going to give us the chance to tell Carlisle and Renee ourselves. We have until she leaves then she's going to do it herself."

"When does she leave?" I asked, caressing my boy's chest.

"No idea, she never said. All I know is we should tell them before she gets to it. She won't be shy with the details and I'd rather not talk about you giving me a blowjob in front of your mother or my father."

"Talking about it surely won't be as bad as actually getting caught doing it," I muttered, causing Edward to chuckle.

"True, but still, it would be too awkward." We both fell into silence, thinking about the possible outcomes of the revelation to the parents and all outcomes seemed bad. Much like earlier I pushed those worries to the side and changed the subject.

"You know you never had a birthday cake," I said, wrapping my arms round Edward's chest.

"Oh no, I did. Today I got my cake and ate it too," he said, grinning lightly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. My incredibly sexy girlfriend blew my rocks off then allowed me to get her off, pretty fucking superb if you ask me."

"Sounds like a great girlfriend," I muttered, snuggling in to him more.

"She's the best." Smirking I kissed his bare shoulder.

"Thank you and for one last time until next year, happy birthday."

"Thanks. I look forward to hearing you say it next year, when we're still together." Edward kissed my forehead and I shut my eyes, knowing that was the first cue that he was getting too tired to stay awake.

"We'll make it, no matter what," he whispered after a few minutes. I don't think Edward expected me to hear him but I did, and God did I hoped he was right.

Time was ticking away from us and it would only be a matter of days no doubt before everything blew up in our faces. In order to get through it we'd have to stay strong together. He clearly had confidence we could so why was I so worried? Why did the idea of Esme's presence make me think I was going to lose my boy? God only knows, I just hope I'm worrying over nothing.

Only time would tell.

* * *

A.N.

I'm not sticking to when the birthdays would be, I'm just slotting them in where I want. This would have been out sooner but I'm having a really crappy time now at school and I wanted to make it longer for you all. God only knows when 23 will be up though. Oh one more thing, there is a poll on my profile in regards to this story, please go check it out and vote.


	23. Author's Note

Yep, this isn't a chapter but I hope you'll read it anyway.

I'll be posting this message in all my incomplete stories so if you are reading more than one then the same applies.

I need to take break from everything. I don't know when I'll come back to this, and I am sorry about it, but right now I need to get my health back in order. Basically, as I feel you should probably know the reason behind this, I have a chronic illness (nothing life threatening) and it's getting very hard to life my day to day life without problems. I would really appreciate your patience and understanding in this matter, and I hope that when I do come back the next chapter will be worth the wait.

Thank you,

Michelle


	24. Chapter 23: LoseLose

**I just want to say a huge thanks to everyone who reviewed my last author's note and for those of you that sent me pms. Your support and understanding really means the world to me and I was overwhelmed with everything you all said. Seriously, you've all shown me more kindness in this matter than those I see almost every day. I cannot thank you enough. Hope this chapter has been worth the wait and see you at the bottom. **

* * *

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight etc. That much should be obvious by now._

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Twenty Three: Lose-Lose**

The week following Edward's birthday Esme was still there. It didn't seem like she was ever going to leave and I was losing my mind. There was the constant worry that she was going to just suddenly say something to Carlisle or Renee and throw us in the deep end.

Her attitude towards me hadn't picked up either. She was still the grouchy bitch she was the first time we spoke and to be frank, I was getting sick of it. It was like I was some subhuman in her eyes, not good enough for her son or good enough to be a part of her family, despite her walking out on said family.

Carlisle and Renee, for some strange and unusual reason, had no problem with Esme's presence. My mother was bonding with her brilliantly actually. Carlisle and Esme didn't spend much time together but were both polite, which I think was more for Edward's sake but I'm sure Edward would appreciate it more if Carlisle sent her away.

Another thing Edward would appreciate was if his step-father jumped off a cliff – his own words. As my mother invited him to stay over he did just that. For the duration of Esme's stay her husband would be staying too, much to Edward's dismay. And seeing as they were married, Esme was very happy to spill the beans and let him in on Edward's and my relationship.

Randall, Esme's husband, actually didn't seem like such a prick at first. He was genuinely nice to me to begin with, and then things changed once Esme let him in on the fact I was dating Edward. From that point on it was like there was a target painted on my back. The man just did not like me. Edward said not to take it personally, that it was only because Randall hated Edward, and that actually seemed like a good enough reason, in Randall's eyes, to hate me.

Although I knew Edward and his step-father didn't get on it was ten times worse to literally witness it. The smallest things would be enough ammunition on the other to warrant a full out attack, usually resulting in Esme trying to play the diplomat and bring an end to it. That was pretty funny to see as she just had no control whatsoever. All I had to do was put my hand on Edward and tell him it's not worth it and he'd stop. Esme had to practically drag Randall away from Edward to stop his side of the attack as she had no hope in hell of stopping Edward.

However, all that fighting was making my boy just pure angry and a pain in the arse to be around. He would brush me off, snap at me and treat me like shit over the simplest things. Edward really was not nice to be around. I was not one to take his crap so when he snapped at me I snapped right back, resulting in us fighting, much like I predicted Esme and Randall hoped for. They were tearing a wedge between us and it was fucking annoying, to be frank. I would happily pack their bags and drive them to the airport if that's what it would take to get them to leave but it seemed as though they had dug their heels in. And then Esme dropped a bomb.

"I really like Forks, and Randall and I are thinking of buying a house here so we can all be together as a family," she said smiling and holding her husband's hand. Edward had dropped his fork at her announcement and it clattered under the dinner table.

"You can't do that," he said, completely giving up on his dinner and just glaring at his mother.

Carlisle was watching on with interest but had refrained from saying anything. He seemed to be gauging Edward's reaction before stepping in. My mother was oblivious to all that and had ignored Edward's statement to chit chat about all the nice available houses with Esme, who was listening eagerly, also having ignored her son's statement. Randall, on the other hand, had most certainly heard Edward and was not pleased one bit.

"You can't tell us what to do, boy," he said, glaring at Edward. "Now be quiet and eat your dinner." Randall pointed his fork at Edward's plate and then returned to his own food.

I decided to be helpful and went and got Edward another fork. He thanked me somewhat angrily but didn't return to eating. Carlisle asked him politely to eat his food to which Edward did as he was asked. Esme then stopped talking to my mother and turned to her son.

"So darling, how would you feel if I moved here?"

"I would hate it so don't even think of doing it. I don't want you here, and I especially don't want that piece of scum you call your husband here either. So pack your bags, put him on a dog leash and fly both your asses back to L.A. The sooner the better," he replied, scowling at his mother.

"Edward that is enough, you will show respect to your mother," Carlisle said, now unhappy with the turn of events.

"Respect is earned, not demanded," Edward said, not bothering in the least that this once quiet family dinner had turned into a very tense and uncomfortable situation.

"Edward, I'm hurt you would feel this way, and please don't be so rude to Randall. I would very much like to live here."

"Then you should have fucking stayed here and not abandoned your family," Edward spat at her, clearly ignoring the comments made about Randall.

"I did not abandon you," she answered, to which Carlisle snorted. I looked at him and he was shaking his head as he lifted his wine glass to have a drink.

"Have something to say Carlisle?" Randall asked, narrowing his eyes. God he was such a fucking snake.

"I think it best to change the subject. I doubt we're all going to agree on this matter."

"We have to talk about things Carlisle or we won't be a good family unit," Esme said, pressing the issue.

"Because you would know all about being a good family unit now, would you Esme?" Carlisle asked, raising his eyebrows in what was a clear challenge.

"Bella, would you have a problem with me living here?" Esme asked, ignoring Carlisle's question and smiling so politely that I felt like vomiting. She was so fake it was painful.

"May I be excused?" I asked, placing my knife and fork down correctly on the plate. I had absolutely no intention of answering her question. It would only make matters worse for me in the long run.

"That's right, run away like usual," Edward muttered, shaking his head. I turned and scowled at him, not even attempting to say anything as he was in one of those moods.

"Yes Bella, of course," Carlisle said, smiling at me. He could probably sense how uncomfortable I was with the whole situation. I was actually surprised that my mother hadn't abandoned the table yet, seeing as it was all Cullen family issues being aired.

I stood up and then tucked my chair in before heading upstairs. Within seconds I could hear another set of footsteps coming up the stairs behind me and I knew it was going to be Edward. When we reached the top he grabbed my wrist, something I hated.

"Thanks for helping me out down there," he spat, shaking his head once more.

"What did you want me to do? It wasn't my fight and it was a lose-lose situation for me either way so back off."

"Back off? You want me to back off?" he asked, looking at me incredulously.

"Yes, stop being such a prick. If I had said yes Esme would have made my life that much worse, if I had said no she would have known I was lying and used that as another reason why we shouldn't be together."

"I don't think I need her assistance in finding reasons why we shouldn't be together," Edward said.

"Oh you bastard." I shoved his hands off of me. "Is that what you want, you want to end this?" He never said anything, just looked at me. "No, please, be fucking honest for once. Is that what you want? Am I such a bad girlfriend that you want us to break up?" Again with the silence. "Answer me!" I slapped his shoulder and tugged at his shirt with my other hand.

"No, that's not what I want and you know that," he ground out.

"Then stop acting like being around me is fucking torture, I'm sick and tired of it. You treat me like utter crap and I can't stand it. Pull yourself together or you know what, I'll make the decision on whether or not we should be together. I won't stand for how you're treating me anymore, it's out of line. You're pissed off at them? Fine, be pissed at them, not me. I've done nothing wrong."

I immediately walked away and went into my room, slamming the door behind me. God he could just get me so bloody angry, stupid wanker. Throwing myself on my bed I screamed into my pillow. The whole situation was just so horrible that it needed to end sometime soon before I lost my mind, and my boyfriend.

* * *

The following morning Esme cornered me in the kitchen and proceeded to tell me how wrong I was for her son and that he could now see all the flaws she saw in me the second we met. I knew this was bullshit as she was actually, very slightly, polite to me the first time we met- minus the penis in the mouth comments. Regardless, her words still stung, especially after last night's argument with Edward.

When the man himself walked into the kitchen, seeing it was only his mother, he walked over and took my hand, kissing the knuckles. I smiled up at him softly and stood to kiss his cheek. At times he could be very sweet.

"The two of you stop this, right now," Esme said, shaking her head. Edward rolled his eyes and gave me a quick peck on the lips before grabbing his cereal. "I've thought more about our situation and by this time next week I expect you to have told Carlisle or else I am going to tell him," she said, not glancing up from her paper.

"Why so soon?" Edward asked, not looking bothered in the slightest.

"Randall and I are going back to L.A. that day."

"Not moving here then? Thank fuck for that." Edward raised his glass of orange juice, as though in celebration, and took a sip.

"Language Edward, and no, I never intended to move here."

"You just thought you'd be a mean bitch and ruin dinner last night?" I asked, completely losing the filter between my brain and my mouth. Edward burst out laughing and pulled me into his arms, kissing my neck and muttering how much he loved me in my ear. All the while Esme was glaring at me like I was Satan.

"You would do well not to test me Isabella," Esme said curtly, standing up with paper in hand. "Or I may feel inclined to tell Carlisle much sooner." With that she left and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"She really gets on my fucking nerves," I said, leaning into Edward a bit more.

"Me too, me too," Edward replied, nuzzling into my neck. "Think today at school would be an alright time to ask everyone to the concert?" I nodded and kissed Edward softly.

"It should be yeah. Now, I'm going to leave you and take my toast upstairs as I'm running late. See you later." I kissed him once more and grabbed my plate.

Like usual, Edward and I drove separately to school, but that didn't stop him from dragging me into his car to cop a feel before class started. It was as though last night's fight had been a figment of my imagination, the way we were both acting. Though, I wasn't going to complain. I liked having my boy back.

"Very classy Bella," Rose said, seeing us get out of Edward's car. "Why not let your boyfriend touch you up first thing in the morning, in the school parking lot. Nothing classier than that."

"Oh shush, like you wouldn't willingly let Emmett do the same." That shut her up. She glared and rolled her eyes.

"Thank you for reminding me that I'm all alone and the guy I like thinks I'm too fragile to date him."

"He'll come around," I said, entwining my arms with Rose and Edward's.

"Rosalie, I'd like to ask you something," my boy began, sounding somewhat nervous.

"No, I won't lap dance for you, you sick perv. I'm not your fucking prostitute and frankly, I'd like those comments to stop so early in the morning."

"If you had actually bothered to let me finish you would have known that I wasn't going to make some comment like that. But you clearly can't use your ears having used your mouth so much over the years. Too many blow jobs taking their toll Rosie?"

"You're such a fucking jerk. I listen just fine thank you. And don't call me that."

"What I was going to say, _Rosie_, is that a group of us are going to see a concert this weekend and I was wondering if you wanted to come. If you're going to be a bitch about it though, then I don't want you there."

"Oh shove it, I'm coming and you know it." Edward relaxed next to me but sneered at her. The boy really was glad she was going to come, just wouldn't let her know that. And I'm sure that Rose was happy to be invited, just didn't want Edward to know that either. They were so immature.

While those two traded insults and Edward filled Rose in on the details of the concert I observed Alice and Garrett across the lot. She was sitting on the hood of his car with his body in between her legs. They were laughing at something and looked genuinely happy. It was such a refreshing sight to see, and I could help point them out.

"Alice and Garrett look really good together." Edward and Rose both stopped calling each other names and sought the pair out to see for themselves.

"Yeah they do," Edward said, sounding a bit off. I got the impression that there was more to his words, as did Rose.

"But?" she asked, glancing over at him.

"But, I think he likes her more than she likes him."

"What makes you think that?" I asked, frowning at the couple. From the looks of it Alice liked Garrett a hell of a lot, seeing as she was outwardly displaying their relationship and being willing to date him. Putting trust in someone after what happened with Jasper sure must have been hard.

"Garrett barely dates," Edward began. "He's been friends with Alice for a while, before she began dating Jasper, and now that she's finally single again he's asked her out."

"You think he's liked her for the duration Jasper and her were together?" Rose asked, watching the couple again.

"Yeah."

"And you think Alice is just using him as the rebound guy?" I asked, frowning at that. I really hoped that wasn't the case as the two of them did make a cute couple.

"Yep," Edward said, then he sighed and looked over the lot to another person watching Alice and Garret. "As much as I hate to admit it, I think she still harbours too many feelings for Jasper."

Following his gaze my eyes landed on Jasper himself, looking worse for wear. He clearly wasn't happy to see his ex-girlfriend with another guy but it wasn't anger displayed on his face. No, he just looked miserable, as though someone had killed his puppy or something.

"Does Garrett think that too?" Rose asked, not even bothering to look at Jasper. I could tell that there may still be a few open wounds regarding him.

"I have no idea. He might but rather than mention it and lose something he's wanted for so long he's going to stick it out, take what he can get. After all, Alice warms his bed at night, something he must have fantasised about for some time. Anyway, shall we go to class?"

"I have frees," I said, earning glares from both Rose and Edward.

"Sadly, I'm not as lucky," Rose muttered as we all walked into the building.

The two of them went off to class as I headed off to the library. On my way though I got distracted and stopped. Inside one of the empty classrooms sat Jasper, all alone and working furiously away at something. I didn't want to disturb him but a part of me wanted to check to see if he was alright. After all, he must have been having quite a hard time, being by himself most of the time, even if he did bring it on himself.

I knocked on the door lightly and his head shot up in surprised. He visibly relaxed when he saw me however and I was glad that he didn't see me as a threat. That may sound foolish but I was dating a guy he hated so he may have thought I was gunning for him too.

"Hey, can I come in?" I asked, not wanting to just start badgering him.

"Of course, please do." He smiled and waved his hand at one of the desks, which I hopped up on. "So can I do anything for you?" he asked, getting up to shut the door. That action told me that although I may not ask anything from him he's going to ask something from me.

"No, I just came to see how you were. You looked pretty awful in the car park."

"Yes, well, what can I say? It hurt to see her with someone else."

"Even though you broke up with her?" I asked, not sure why he would be hurt by that when he didn't want her in the first place.

"Just because I broke up with her doesn't mean I completely stopped loving her. She was a huge part of my life, and I miss her."

"What about Rose?" I asked, uncertain how he would take me asking that.

"I love her, as well as Alice. It's just different."

"Care to explain?" I didn't know if I was pushing my luck but he hadn't shut down on me so far so I was taking that to be a good sign.

"Rose was everything. From the second I met her she became everything. I was a scared fourteen year old boy looking at a girl who had been raped. My whole world changed. She became my world. From that night at the hospital to making love to her two years later, she was everything. And she still is today. I would do anything for her in a heartbeat. I just didn't count on her not needing me anymore. That's where Alice came in." He stopped and took a deep breath before carrying on.

"Alice was carefree and easy to be around. She's gorgeous as well so that didn't hurt. I don't know, it was comfortable. But she wasn't Rose. I love Alice, dearly, and I know I don't deserve her as I've hurt her so but I do love her. Rose is like the girl you fantasise about but never get to date. Alice is the girl you date and settle down with."

"So you're settling for second best?" I asked rather angrily, not happy with Jasper saying being with Alice was settling.

"No, it's not like that."

"Well it sure as hell sounds like it is."

"Bella, I love them both, only slightly differently. With Rose I have this need to protect her, to worship her and it's a very unhealthy dependency sort of thing I have going on. With Alice I love her unconditionally and know that she'll always be there…well that she would always be there."

"Do you regret breaking up with Alice?"

"Yes. And it's not because Rose wouldn't go out with me before you say anything," he added sounding rather defensive. Though, I couldn't blame him.

"I wasn't going to," I said, biting my lip.

Jasper was just sitting there, looking down at his hands in his lap. For some unknown reason I felt this need to give him a hug and tell him everything would be alright. So that's exactly what I did. I slipped off the table and walked over, embracing him softly. He hugged me back, his head pressed against my stomach.

"Thank you," he murmured, pulling back from the hug. "You're much nicer than I expected you to be."

"What does that mean? You've known me for months now."

"Yeah but I assumed that Edward would have ensured that you hated me and for you to take joy and laugh at my misery." I could hardly believe the words coming out his mouth.

"What are you going on about?" Jasper shot me a curious look then reached into his bag and pulled out a folded piece of paper. I took it from him and opened it up, becoming more confused.

**The Sheriff v. Robin Hood**

"What is this?" I asked, completely lost with its significance.

"You don't know?" Jasper was now smiling a little.

"Clearly, now explain."

"Edward seriously hasn't told you?" He was full out grinning by then.

"No he fucking well hasn't so you're going to tell me." I hated being kept in the dark and it was obvious Edward was keeping me in the dark about something.

"I'll make it easier for you," Jasper said, grabbing the piece of paper back. He took out a pen and made amendments to the sheet.

**The Sheriff (Edward) v. Robin Hood (Jasper)**

"I even put my name so you wouldn't get confused." He was leaning back in his chair smiling at me still. I couldn't really grasp what I was reading.

"You're Robin Hood?"

"The one and only." Jasper didn't seem to care about that. "So what do you think of your boy keeping this from you? I mean surely he would have told you."

"You know he didn't," I ground out, getting angrier with Edward. How could he not tell me this? For fuck sake he was going up against Robin Hood! The least he could have done was told me who Robin Hood was. That would have given things more clarity. God, my boy was in so much trouble when I found him.

"Edward's such a prick," Jasper said, shaking his head. "You deserve to be with someone better. Dump him." The animosity for Edward was so obvious in Jasper's tone and in his eyes that I just didn't get it.

"Why do you hate him so much?" I asked, confused as to where their once decent friendship went.

"He's a cardboard cut out of Royce, and needs to be punished for his past actions."

"Are you punishing him for what he's done wrong or for what Royce did wrong?"

"For what he's done wrong." Liar, liar, pants on fire! "You don't know him Bella."

"No, as his girlfriend I really don't know him. We live together but I don't know him. He's practically a stranger to me. In fact, what does he look like again?" I asked sarcastically.

"Stop being a bitch and fucking around. You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Are you shitting me? _I _have no idea what I'm talking about? Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Jasper, you're punishing Edward for Rose being raped when it had nothing to do with him. You say he's a cardboard cut out of Royce, well seeing as you can't get to Royce anymore you're going after someone you think is like him. Am I right?"

"No, you're not. It's not like that at all."

"Yes it is, don't kid yourself. You blame Edward as he reminds you of Royce. Rose won't let you tell the cops it was Royce nor would she let you punish him while he was here so you're doing the next best thing, taking out his second in command, Edward."

"Like I said, you don't know what you're talking about." I laughed humourlessly and shook my head.

"Seriously, you can justify your actions as much as you want Jasper but that's what really is going on and we both know it. I wonder if Edward knows it too, or Rose. Do you think they would like to hear my theory?"

"Stay the fuck away from Rose," Jasper ground out, standing up and glaring down at me. He was pissed but so was I so we were even.

"Or what? What are you going to do if I don't stay away from her?"

"Watch it Bella, I still have a lot of power around here," he warned.

"Is that a threat?" I asked, knowing that's exactly what it was.

"Just watch it." Jasper walked away from me and left the room. Apparently he was done with the conversation.

I walked out of the classroom and headed off to the library, where I was going originally. I finished off my free periods by doing homework and then spent the rest of the day avoiding Edward. Rosalie asked what was wrong at one point but I blew her off, saying it was nothing. She knew me well enough not to press for details. The thing was, I didn't want to lose my temper at school. No, I was going to wait for when Edward and I were at home, alone, and then I would lose it.

And that's exactly what I did.

Carlisle, Renee, Esme and Randall all went out to dinner together. They invited Edward and I along but we both turned the offer down, knowing getting paper cuts between our toes would be more fun than a night out with them.

Edward had shut himself up in his room, clearly sensing I was in a foul mood, while I paced my own room, trying to stop myself from crossing the hall and killing him. I was furious. Edward was playing a dangerous game. Like Jasper said, he's still got a lot of power, and he does. Jasper could very easily get Edward expelled without even trying. Carlisle's practically chomping at the bit to fly Edward off to L.A. so I didn't want another reason for him to do just that. This whole 'The Sheriff v. Robin Hood' was dreadful and I really feared that I could lose my boy over it.

By eight thirty I couldn't stop myself and I crossed the hall. Stopping outside his door I reminded myself how much I loved my boy and that he was too pretty to die young, plus I was too pretty to go to jail. That seemed to reign in my anger a bit, but then I opened the door and it all came back.

"Howdy Sheriff," I spat, slamming the door behind me.

Edward froze at his pc, his back to me. Slowly he spun his chair round to reveal a mask of indifference on his face. Stupid bastard.

"You know it's a different kind of sheriff right? Not like the wild west ones, but more the King's men type."

"ARG!" I grabbed a pillow off his bed then began beating him with it. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! You can't just take on Robin Hood. What the fuck do you think will happen?!" Edward's hand grabbed my arms and he pushed me backwards into the wall.

"It's a bit too late for 'you can't just take on Robin Hood' as I already have."

"Well if you had told me about this shit stupid idea before you went ahead with it I could have told you then."

"Is that why you're really mad?" he asked.

"What?"

"Is that why you're really mad? Are you pissed that I didn't tell you?"

"Yes. Yes I am. And you should know that a move like this won't go unnoticed. You're going to get dicked on by everyone now Edward."

"You're talking shit Bella. The only person who will get 'dicked on' as you so eloquently put it is Jasper. He's got to be punished for what he did to Rose, Alice and Emmett."

"Why are you doing this? What is your obsession with him?!" I cried, not understanding Edward's logic at all. Surely Jasper being miserable is enough punishment. I mean he's lost his girlfriend, his best friend/ex-girlfriend –who he loves, and he's also lost all his friends. That seems like a fitting enough punishment to me.

"He's made himself judge, jury and executioner, I can't have that," Edward stated, shaking his head.

"Cause you want that job," I supplied, reading through the lines.

"No! I don't want that job! What I want is for people to stop being scared of this wanker! We're in highschool for fucks sake! We make mistakes but move on from them."

"This is personal," I said, thinking to Edward's undeserved warning, and he knew it too.

"Of course it is! If they gave me an unnecessary warning, how many others do you think they have done?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

"Lots. I've found other students who have been wrongly accused of doing something they didn't do, and then they were given a warning. Do you know what a warning can do to some students? They're branded a bad person, someone you don't want to be around. For a few who are trying to make friends, receiving a warning is the worst possible thing that could happen, especially if they haven't done anything worth warranting one."

"So you're challenging them?"

"No, I'm challenging him. I'll be happy when he's gone."

"You're off your head."

"No, I'm perfectly sane. Now, you're either with me in this or you're not. What will it be?" he asked, looking at me expectantly.

"I'm not. You're on your own." And with that I walked away.

I wasn't breaking up with him. I just wouldn't stand by his side during this. It was another fight that wasn't mine therefore I wasn't getting involved. Hopefully he would see it that way too and understand, though that is doubtful. Just bloody brilliant, another lose-lose situation. How I get myself into these circumstances, I really don't know.

* * *

**And there we have it. **

**Here was the result of the poll: Rose= 25% Jasper= 21% Garrett= 19% Emmett =17 % Alice= 7% James= 2% Royce= 2% Felix=1% and Demetri= 0% . Anyone else notice that it doesn't add up to 100%? **

**Anyway, as you can see from this chapter, only 21% of you got it right (95 voters). I am very interested in knowing what made majority of you think Rose was Robin Hood so if you would be happy to share that would be great. **

**A big thanks goes to emmadtf2 because without you this chapter would not be up tonight, so thanks! Anyway, cheers for reading and I hope to give you a new chapter sometime soon (before Christmas- I promise). **


	25. Chapter 24: Family Secrets

**My Secret Sin **

**Chapter Twenty Four: Family Secrets**

I stewed in my room after leaving Edward in the hall. That was not how things should have gone. I wasn't trying to alienate my boy and make him do it alone. I just didn't want to lose him. Edward was no doubt going to go into this with all guns blazing, not worrying about the consequences. Well, I was worrying about the consequences. If Edward was to get in trouble at school Carlisle would shit a duck and send him packing. Although Edward may be eighteen now he still had to rely on his parents financially and let's face it, there's no way my boy would give up the lifestyle he leads currently. That just wouldn't happen.

So yes, I didn't want to get involved. But of course I was involved as Edward's my boyfriend and I should stand by him. I knew that, yet I didn't want it to be that way. Yes Jasper deserves a piece of his own medicine seeing as he's totally gone power crazy but I didn't want Edward to be the one to do it. Surely there was someone else out there who would do it and save me the trouble of worrying about the future of my relationship.

Edward's comments about me always running are only partly true. I really only run when Esme is around or when she could hurt us as a couple. She scares the crap out of me because she holds all the cards. Her little mouth could land Edward and I into a lot of trouble and she's practically frothing at the mouth to do just that.

I'm not running from the Jasper situation. I'm just being more cautious than Edward is. His act of revenge or attempts of a coup could destroy us. If Esme was to find out about him doing that then we were royally screwed as she was looking for every excuse possible to tear us apart.

Rather than walking away from him I should have explained that thoroughly but I just needed to get away before I ended up beating in his head. Knowing there was no point going back to him now I remained in my room for the rest of the night, only coming out to the go to the bathroom.

Like usual I got up in the morning and got ready for school. However, half way down the stairs I had a change of heart and decided that I wouldn't be going straight to school. I just felt like there was too much going on for me to cope with. Remembering what used to work for me when I became stressed I continued down the stairs, with that location in mind. I would probably miss most of the morning but right then I didn't care. I needed to get my head sorted out.

My father's grave was somewhere I used to retreat to when Renee was either getting divorced or about to. There I could just sit and tell him everything that was going on and what I was worried about. Granted, I knew he couldn't talk back and technically I really didn't have a connection with the man that was buried as he died when I was two but still. It helped me so I wasn't going to turn my back on it just because I had no memories of him.

Edward was in the kitchen when I entered. He was sitting alone at the counter drinking orange juice and eating toast. His eyes followed me around the room as I put some bread in the toaster and poured myself a glass of juice. I suspected that he wanted to talk about last night and knew I wouldn't be able to leave without that. Hopefully he'd at least let me eat my breakfast first.

"Are we going to talk about last night?" Edward asked, sounding rather void. I turned to face Edward and watched as he pushed his hair around his head, eyes boring into mine.

"What's there to talk about?" I wasn't meaning to play coy but wanted him to be specific.

"Did you break up with me?"

"No," I said vehemently, shaking my head at the same time. "You never asked me whether or not I wanted to break up with you, and if you had I would have said no. Just because I don't agree with what you're doing doesn't mean I'm walking away from you completely."

"You gave the impression that you were," Edward said, crossing his arms over his chest. He was dressed in his school uniform, with his blazer on the back of the chair.

"No, I walked away from this whole Robin Hood vs. The Sherriff bullshit cause frankly, we don't need that right now. Do you know what will happen if Esme finds out? She'll use this as another excuse to break us up."

"And how will she do that? I'm eighteen Bella; I can see who I want."

"Yeah, you can. However, it's not so easy to see your girlfriend who lives in Washington when you live in California."

"I won't go. They can't make me."

"No, they could if they wanted to. They pay for everything and are going to fund you the rest for your life. You won't turn your back on that no matter what."

"Money isn't everything. I would choose you over that any day."

"Well I'm glad to hear that but you won't turn your padded lifestyle away. You're words are just that, words. If made to choose you would walk away from me. I don't want to give them the ammunition to put you in that position, hence why I'm so against this whole Sheriff thing. It's only going to end in disaster, and probably a fight between you and Jasper. Carlisle's just started treating you nicely so why go and ruin that?"

"You really don't understand. Jasper has had this coming for a long time. I'm not the only one who wants him gone; I'm just the only one with the balls to actually do it. If he steps down from Robin Hood, leaves that all behind, I'll walk away."

"Yeah, and then what, the two of you just go back to being friends? Get real Edward. You and Jasper are never going to be okay with each other. If it's not this then it's going to be something else. Sheriff versus Robin Hood now and then it's going to go back to Edward versus Jasper. You two will never stop and to be honest, I don't know why the fuck you do it."

"I am doing this because he wants to control everyone."

"Not that. I mean why do you constantly go up against him? What has happened between the two of you that makes you hate each other so much? I know you're pissed about the warning and I know he doesn't like you cause he thinks you're a cardboard cut out of Royce but other than that, what else is there that I don't know about?"

Rather than answer me Edward stood up and put on his blazer. I stood there, pissed, as I watched him gather up his dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

"Now who's running away?" I said as he made to leave.

Edward sighed and turned to me, looking sad and worn. He brushed down his uniform as he walked over to me, taking my hands in his. Wordlessly he laid his head against my shoulder, placing his face in the crook of my neck. His breath was tickling me but I assumed he was going to say something therefore held off pointing that out.

"Bella, I love you and I understand your worries but you need to understand where I am coming from. I won't side with my parents over you. There is no way that I'm going to let you go. This thing with Jasper just needs to happen. And you're right, I don't know when it will ever end but right now that doesn't matter. People have to stop fearing him and he has to stop throwing his weight around like he owns the place. In reality he is no different than you or I and the rest of the student body need to realise that too."

Edward was correct in saying that Jasper needed to stop throwing his weight around. Only yesterday did he do the same to me, trying to make me fear him and keep my mouth shut because he was unhappy. Ugh, maybe Edward was doing this for all the right reasons, but that didn't mean I wasn't going to worry.

My boy kissed the skin of my neck lightly and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around him and held him to me. I knew there were things Edward was keeping from me about Jasper and that should have really bothered me but all my energy was on him and his pain in the arse mother. She was standing in the doorway, arms crossed, watching the two of us.

Edward's hands moved about my body, as he began marking my neck, and pushing me backwards into the counter. Let's just say, recently we were going through a dry spell, more focused on yelling at each other than undressing each other.

Esme walked away once I was lifted up onto the counter, allowing me to focus my attention on Edward. Pulling his head up I kissed him as he stepped in between my thighs, pushing my skirt up. His kiss was as fiery as I could have hoped for. Suddenly he stopped and groaned, dropping his head forward.

"What's wrong?"

"We have to go to school. We'll be a little late but we should leave now."

"I'm not going to school," I said, rubbing his chest, wishing his shirt wasn't there.

"Why not?" Edward asked, frowning. "And in case you haven't realised, you're dressed for it." I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"I'm going to visit my father's grave." That silenced Edward. "So yeah…I better get going." I pushed him away and slipped off the counter, heading towards the door.

"Can I come?" It was Edward's turn to silence me.

"Seriously?" I asked, a little stumped.

"Yeah, but if you don't want me there I understand."

"No, let's go." I held out my hand and he lifted it to his mouth, kissing it once, before leading me into the hall.

"Ah, good to see your morning quickie has finished. Do I need to wipe down the counters?" Esme asked, rounding on us. She was standing with Randall at her side, by the stairs. The two of them had their no nonsense faces on.

"Aren't you both meant to be at school?" Randall asked, glaring.

"We're going there now," I said, squeezing Edward's hand to tell him I would do the talking and that he should just remain silent.

"Well the two of you better get a move on. You're already late."

"Yes, we're aware of that." I tugged Edward along as I grabbed my keys and bag. He picked up his belongings before we slammed the front door shut behind us.

"When will the two of them fucking leave us alone?" Edward asked, angrily.

"When Carlisle and Renee have been told that we're a couple. And seeing as we have a week to do that in, my guess is that they'll be leaving us alone pretty soon."

"Yeah, we trade one set of pain in the ass parents for another. Carlisle will have my balls for our relationship."

"You don't know that."

The two of us got in my truck and I drove us to the cemetery where Charlie was buried. During the ride Edward filled me in on the things Jasper had done wrong during his reign. My boy had found seven other students that were still at school with us that had been given warnings for something they didn't do. Apparently twelve students had left last year and there were others that he hadn't found out about yet. He was getting all his information from a merry man that seemed to hate Jasper as much as Edward did.

I was trying to be supportive for Edward without becoming directly involved. All Jasper had to do was let it slip to Carlisle or my mother that we were dating and then Edward and I would be screwed. However, if I made it clear I wasn't picking sides Jasper may choose not to play that card and we could have a little more time before we actually had to tell the parentals. God I was not looking forward to that.

Parking the truck, Edward got out and came round to open my door. He took my hands and helped me out, kissing me quickly before shutting the door. We walked across the cemetery hand in hand as I led him to where my father was buried. Renee had clearly been there recently as there were fresh flowers. The only other time there were fresh flowers was on the day he died as the folks from the reservation come up.

"Well here we are," I said, giving Edward's hand a squeeze.

"I'll give you a minute," Edward muttered, kissing my cheek just before he walked away.

I turned back to my father's grave and gave it a soft smile. Removing my blazer I placed it on the ground and took a seat, glad to have worn the school jumper that morning as it was particularly cold.

"Things are really difficult at the moment," I said, biting my lip.

After so many years of visiting Charlie's grave it no longer felt weird to just sit and talk to him. Apparently he was a quiet man anyway so I shouldn't have been bothered that there was no response. He was more of a listener than a talker according to my mother.

"Edward's mother is driving me crazy. I've done nothing but love her son yet she despises me and it's taking its toll. Her vicious comments and offensive attitude hurts at times because sometimes I believe she's right, that Edward and I really shouldn't be together. It's hardly a normal relationship. Hell, we can't even publically show our relationship as it's that taboo.

"You would hate Edward. In fact, I'm pretty sure if you could you would have killed him already. But I love him, and am terrified of losing him. Carlisle holds all the power and when he finds out about us…well I stand to lose the most important person in my life. And God only knows how Renee will act. I'm praying she'll see sense and keep Edward here. It's just all so confusing and at times like this I wish you could just help me out a bit, let me know what to do."

I sat there for another twenty minutes, talking about Robin Hood, Royce and Rose, Edward's hatred for Jasper and just anything that I could think of really. I had to get it all off my chest, get it out there. I could probably have spoke to Edward about some of these things but for many of them he was a part of it therefore I would be getting his biased opinion when I wanted impartial. Charlie was impartial because he was silent and that gave me the chance to consider all sides to a situation before making a plan of action. And that's exactly what I did regarding the big issue of Jasper and the parents.

Standing up I walked straight over to Edward who was sitting under a nearby tree. He looked at me a little startled as I practically threw myself at him. Not caring about where we are I sat myself in his lap and hugged him as tight as I could.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Edward asked, holding me close to him.

"I love you." Edward chuckled and looked at me confused.

"I love you too but what is it? You're kinda worrying me here." I sat back and took his face in my hands, brushing his hair back as I did so.

"I don't want to fight with you anymore. I know you don't think it could happen but if Esme manages to get you to go away or we do end up separated somehow then it will tear me apart. I don't want to waste what time I have with you."

"Bella it's not like I'm going to die or anything."

"I know but I could lose you for awhile." Edward sighed and shook his head, looking at me sadly. Although he didn't want to admit it he did know that there was a chance of that happening.

"Let's just focus on us for now, alright?" I nodded and gave him a quick kiss. "I'll hold off on Jasper for now, until we're good again." I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you."

"S'okay."

I hugged Edward and kissed his cheek before standing up and going over to fetch my blazer. Edward followed me and helped me put it on, being all gentlemanly for a change. My boy could be sweet at times but it was rare to that attitude since his mother had pitched up.

"Can you give me a minute?" Edward asked, looking from my to Charlie's grave.

"Eh…sure." I nodded and walked over to the truck. Looking back I saw Edward speaking to the gravestone. Smiling I unlocked the doors and jumped in, turning the key in the ignition and putting the heaters on full blast.

After a few minutes Edward jogged over and hopped in. He was rubbing his hands together in front of the heaters to warm them up. A wicked smile crossed Edward's face as he turned to me. I frowned at him and then realised what he was going to do. He leant over and placed his hands on my cheeks. They were pretty bloody cold. I squealed instantly and tried to shimmy away from him but had nowhere to go. He was laughing and getting closer, not letting up.

"Edward, please!" I cried in laughter, trying to pull his hands away. I finally broke contact and pushed his hands back, slapping at them when they tried to get back to me.

"Let's go to school, shall we?" he asked, laughing still.

"Fine, but you keep your hands over there until we get there."

"They'll be warm by then."

"I don't care." I wasn't going to risk his cold hands again. Driving away from the cemetery I couldn't help but smile. That was one of the rare carefree moments both of us had shared recently.

When the two of us arrived at school Edward gave me a soft kiss then headed in to register us. We lied and said one of us had a dentist appointment while the other had a doctor's appointment. Edward told me he would see me at lunch and gave me a parting smile then left. I went off to my class, already twenty minutes late, and began counting down until lunch. What can I say, I missed him.

School that week carried on like nothing had happened between Edward and Jasper, just like Edward had said. That poster Jasper had shown me was the first one Edward had printed. So basically the rest of the school had no idea about the sick power play that was about to happen. The only ones that did know were Jasper, Edward, myself and the Merry Men and their associates (which meant Alice).

Rather than focus on that whole situation though Edward was focusing on the upcoming concert we were all going to that weekend. It was going to be on Saturday night in Seattle. Carlisle decided that it would be better if we drove up Saturday morning, enjoyed the concert and then checked into a hotel rather than drive right back. He didn't want us possibly getting into an accident on the way back, which was understandable. So he reserved rooms for us at a hotel and was going to pick up the bills. The man was a saint.

Rose, upon hearing about this, immediately put together a plan of action to get Emmett to kiss her. She was tired of them just being friends when she knew that together they could be a great couple. Hell, we all knew it but apparently Emmett wasn't willing to risk hurting her. We all knew him to be our big bear and were sad to see that he didn't trust himself fully because it was clear he would never hurt her physically.

By Saturday morning the two of us were itching to go already. We were waiting downstairs in the kitchen for the others to arrive and Carlisle had just popped in to check on us. He was going running things over with me as Edward kept quiet. I couldn't quite work out whether or not they were on good terms or not but I was hoping they were. It would certainly help things when we had to tell him and Renee about our relationship.

Edward's phone buzzed across the kitchen table, which went unnoticed by Carlisle. He continued to question me until his son hopped up onto the counter, taking a seat there despite there being perfectly good seats at the table.

"Everyone is on their way over," he said.

"And you're packed I assume?" Carlisle asked, not glancing up from the mail in his hand.

"Yep," he replied, looking bored.

"You'll all behave yourselves, right?" Edward turned to his father and nodded.

"Nothing is going to happen. We'll be fine. I'll make sure everyone is tucked into bed nice and early, right Bella?" Carlisle narrowed his eyes a little before returning to normal as he turned to me.

"Yeah, don't worry Carlisle. I'll keep everyone in line."

"We're here fuckers, let's go!" Rosalie called having just opened the front door. The barge of footsteps made their way towards the kitchen where a bemused Carlisle stood. "Oh shit," Rose muttered seeing Mr Cullen smirking at her. "I'm so sorry sir." Carlisle laughed and shook his head.

"Nothing to worry about Rosalie. Edward has said worse." He smiled and shook his head again then turned to all of them. "I hope you all enjoy yourselves and I shall see you back here on Sunday afternoon. Is that correct?"

"Yes sir," Emmett said, grinning like a boy scout.

Carlisle nodded and departed, leaving us alone. We all waited until we heard his office door shut before breathing easy. Rose bit her lip and tried to hide her smirk.

"Aren't you two glad I didn't yell what I had originally thought of?"

"What did you originally think of?" Edward asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I was going to tell you to get your dick out of Bella and to come help with the bags. Good thing I didn't, huh?" She smiled and left the room, heading out to the cars.

"So we all packed?" Garrett asked, holding Alice's body against his. It looked rather unusual seeing as he was pretty tall and she was so tiny.

"I've not finished packing," I admitted, looking down sheepishly.

"Well get on it Bella, then the fun can begin!" Emmett said, smiling widely at me.

Nodding I made my way upstairs to my room. Rose had followed me up to help me pack upon hearing I hadn't finished and I guessed Alice would have done the same had it not been for her boyfriend's wandering hands. The two of them made a quick exit after me and nipped out to her Porsche. Thank the Lord we were not taking that car.

"So, what have you already packed?" Rose asked, jumping up on my bed. She crouched over my bag and started looking through it, shaking her head as she did so. "Bella, you're not seriously taking this kind of underwear, are you?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, rooting through my cupboard for my good jumper. Rose held up the apparently offending articles and I shrugged, not understanding her issue with them.

"Bella, we're staying at a hotel for the night, that means you and your boy aren't going to have to worry about the parentals. Do you really think Edward's going to pass up the opportunity to get some action?"

"Probably not but what's wrong with the underwear I'm taking?"

"Nothing, if you're a nun. Let me change this for something he'll like better."

"And how would you know what Edward likes?"

"Because Edward's a guy and all guys like sexy lingerie."

"Learn that working the streets?" the man in question asked, waltzing into my room. Edward just smirked at Rose and then began looking through my bag as well.

"Fuck off. No one invited you in here."

"This is my house and if I remember correctly, no one invited you and your skanky ways in. Instead you just barged in and set up shop, like an unwanted case of genital herpes."

"There are wanted cases of genital herpes?" I asked, frowning. Surely there couldn't be. Rose smirked at me as Edward glared.

"Shouldn't you be packing?" he asked rather testily, clearly not happy with my question.

"Shut up. I was packing before you two came in and became a nuisance." I grabbed my bag off the bed and folded everything nicely as it had been messed up by them. Rose had removed my underwear and I decided to just take her advice and put in better sets.

Even though we were only staying for one night Alice had managed to talk us into bringing three outfits. It was so we could change after the drive, change after the concert and have fresh clothes to drive back in.

While I finished packing the rest of my clothing Rose and Edward continued to bicker incessantly. They were going on and on, never letting up on the insults. It was getting rather annoying to listen to. I couldn't help but roll my eyes when they got onto the subject of Edward's 'small' penis again. It seemed to be one of their favourite topics, the other being Rose's 'hooker history'.

"I do not have a small dick!" Edward cried, sounding outraged.

"What is it with men and their cocks? Why is there that obsession?" I asked, knowing neither Rose nor Edward were listening to me. No doubt I could have been engaging in a threesome over here and they wouldn't have looked.

"Uh-huh I'm sure you don't," Rose replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Fine, you don't believe me," I heard Edward mutter.

Shaking my head I turned back into the closet, only to hear Rose squeal, which was very unusual. I spun round to see Edward with his pants and boxers around his ankles.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Pull them up!" I screeched, running at him and yanking his boxers back up. "Did you seriously just flash my best friend?!"

"She said I had a small dick!" he cried once more, thinking that answered for everything.

"So, you didn't have to show her it!" Behind me I could hear Rose sniggering away, clearly not that bothered about what she just witnessed.

"Can I just add, showing me your teeny tiny cock only proved my point. You still have a small dick."

"Bullshit," Edward called, reaching for his boxers. I grabbed the hem and yanked them right up, causing him to wince and grunt. "Shit Bella, watch the goods."

"You'll lose your 'goods' in a moment if you don't shut your mouth," I warned him. He glared at Rose and slapped my hands away from his briefs before pulling his pants up.

"What the heck is going on in here?" Garrett asked, leaning his head round the doorframe. "Edward, mate, keep your pants on when others are present. It's rude." My boy just rolled his eyes. "Alice wants to know how close you are to being ready, Bella?"

"I just finished, and will be down in a minute. If it's not too much trouble can you take these two down with you? I'll be faster if you do."

"No problem. Come on the pair of you, get your asses downstairs before Ali comes up and whips them," Garrett said, ushering them away. The two of them grumbled, making wisecracks at Garrett and Alice's sex life as they went. And with their departure I could finally get everything done in a relatively quick time.

Within four minutes we were all loading things into the cars. It was decided that we would be taking my truck and Emmett's Jeep, seeing as that way we could fit all our crap in them along with us. The boys were going in one car while us girls went in the other. Emmett and I were both driving there as neither of us were willing to hand over our keys to our passengers. Alice and Rose would both speed their way to Seattle

The drive was filled with incessant chatter about our guys in the other car, the concert to come, and Jasper. The last topic was a bit of a sore subject but we all braved through it. He only came up when I asked Alice where she got her bracelet as it was lovely. I didn't realise it had been a gift from Jasper. Let's just say things became awkward.

After that Rose decided to fill Alice in on Edward flashing her. They slagged my boy off, despite my attempts to defend him, but then Alice pulled a shocker and told Rose to stop lying about Edward's dick being small. How she had seen my boy's dick was beyond me and something I really didn't want to know. It was best to keep that can of worms firmly sealed. We had already been through enough drama with her.

Once we arrived in Seattle Rose and Alice had to direct me to where exactly the hotel was. I had heard of it but had never been there and knew I would get lost unassisted. The guys were already waiting for us when we arrived which told me Emmett had most likely ignored the speed limits on their way there.

Edward checked us in and came back with two room keys as we stood in the lobby. As we were away from Forks we didn't have to hide our relationship anymore so when he put his arm around me and pulled me backwards into him I didn't need to worry.

"Okay, we have two rooms. One is a single room and the other is a double. Apparently there is no divide in that room either. So that means, one set of us are not getting laid tonight. Who's it going to be?" Edward asked, deadly serious. I laughed and smacked his leg.

"So basically you're rooming with Bella and Alice and Garrett are rooming together?" Emmett asked, shooting glances at Rose.

"If you guys don't want to share then we can split it differently in the double room. Girls in one bed, guys in the other or something like that," Edward replied, catching on that Rose might not be too comfortable sharing with Emmett.

"What makes you think I want to share a room?" Rose asked, hands on her hips.

"You're hardly going to use it, are you?" Edward asked.

"That doesn't matter. To make this fair we should all draw straws or some crap like that."

"Fine. Alice, Garrett, you two okay with that?" They both nodded and Edward nipped over to the bar. He spoke to the bar man for a few minutes then ushered us over.

To make it completely fair the bar man had cut the straws and was holding them so none of us knew which one was best to pick. We decided that the shortest straw would win the single room and that whatever was decided had to happen, no one was allowed to kick up a fuss (i.e. Edward).

I went first and seemed satisfied with the straw I got. It wasn't majorly long which was good. Rose was second and I was gutted to see hers was shorter than mine. So at least we knew then that Edward and I would not be having sex that evening, much to his dismay. Alice was last to take the straw and was also pretty sad to see that she had the longest. However, Garrett only needed to point out that they did have sex earlier and could always take the car keys again if they were desperate. I was going to be guarding my keys all night due to that comment but from the look in Edward's eyes I could tell he didn't think that was such a bad idea.

Emmett looked a little flustered at first but Rose convinced him on the way up the elevator that them sharing wouldn't be a problem. We all dumped our bags in our rooms then went back downstairs to find somewhere to eat. We had a couple more hours before the concert so weren't concerned about time.

After having something to eat we went back to the hotel and changed. Then it was off to the concert. Emmett didn't mind driving us so with the tickets and all our other crap in hand we squeezed into his Jeep and went on our way.

The concert itself was amazing. The six of us had a fantastic time. By the time we got back to the hotel we were still buzzing from it and sleeping was the last thing on all of our minds. Garrett and Edward, knowing neither of them would be driving, brought along alcohol which was subtly carried up to the room.

The two of them decided to crack open that stash as the rest of us scanned the room service menu for something to eat. Thankfully the kitchen was still open. We ordered far too much but with the buzz from the concert and then the alcohol none of the food went to waste.

Emmett and Rose retired to their room around one a.m. with a slur of goodbyes behind them. With the four of us left we ended up splitting off into our couples. Alice and Garrett made good use of their bed, having a major making out/grinding session. I was pretty sure that if they were any drunker or hornier they would be having sex regardless of whether Edward and I were in the room. Though, we weren't exactly any better.

Edward had been propped up against the side of the bed, his legs out as far as they would go. I figured it would be most comfortable to be straddled across his lap, practically molesting him in my inebriated state. Let's just say we were all a little worse for wear. Rose and Emmett were the only ones who probably wouldn't have killer hangovers in the morning.

Around four a.m. we all sort of passed out in various states of undress. I had managed to undo Edward's pants but was too lazy to get off of him to remove them completely. His t-shirt had been taken off, along with mine, and both were cast across the floor. My jeans were still on, which I was thankful for as I really didn't know Garrett that well and already he had captured a pretty good look at my breasts due to the bra I was wearing.

I can only think that Edward and I fell asleep roughly at the same time otherwise we would have moved ourselves to the bed and not woken up in such horrendous positions. I woke up with my face crushed into the crook of Edward's neck, my hips killing me from straddling him all night, and he was kinda slumped down with the back of his head pressed against the side of the bed. His neck must have been in agony.

Glancing over the other side of the room I saw Alice and Garrett actually in bed. Though thinking about it some more I wasn't sure if that was a good thing. They didn't look particularly dressed so I was betting that they were the only couple who got lucky. Rather than wake them I shook Edward awake, who groaned loudly due to the pain, and dragged him into the bathroom.

"What the fuck?" Edward whined, rubbing his face.

"Shh…we need to get showered. Here, have this." I handed Edward a glass of water and two pills before taking two myself.

"Thank you," my boy murmured. He leant over the sink and splashed water in his face as I turned on the shower. "You as hung-over as I am?"

"Probably," I replied, sticking my hand in the water to check the temperature.

"God I actually feel like my neck is broken." Edward started rubbing the muscles and kneading his skin. I could understand his pain as my hips were monumentally painful. It actually felt like someone had stretched my legs out. The muscles were so sore and stiff.

"Yeah well hopefully the painkillers will kick in soon and take away the headache and the muscle aches." Edward grunted in agreement as I stripped down and got in the shower.

While I washed thoroughly, hoping to wash the hangover away but failing miserably, Edward tried to work the kinks out in his neck. His constant grunting and moaning meant he was either doing that or masturbating and really, if he was that horny he would have just joined me in the shower.

By the time I finished my shower and went out to get changed Garrett and Alice were awake and clothed. They were waiting for the shower but weren't in any rush to get there. The two of them looked haggard at best. I was pretty sure they would much rather crawl back under the covers and hide there until the hangover passed. Too bad for them we had to hit the road, though it was a wonder who was going to be driving.

Once I was dressed and dried I headed over to Rose and Emmett's room to check on them. They were both awake and told me that they would meet us down at breakfast within fifteen minutes. That gave Edward, Alice and Garrett enough time to get themselves in order so we could get something to eat.

None of us were actually looking forward to eating something seeing as our hangovers were in full force but we knew we had to have at least something. So on the elevator down it was decided we would stick to water or coffee and have just dry toast. The hope was that all of that would sober us up and maybe stay in our stomachs.

Rose and Emmett were already in the dining room when we arrived. They had reserved a table for six and were currently sitting at it, talking quietly to one another. The two of them looked hangover free so clearly their early turn in did them a world of good.

"Morning!" Emmett sang, taking in the looks of our tired faces. "Buffet is over there," he said, pointing to our left. "Help yourselves to as much eggs, bacon, sausages, beans, hash browns, mushrooms, tomatoes, black pudding, pancakes and all the other tasty treats they have on offer." His grin was pure evil. He could obviously tell we were feeling the effects of the alcohol and thought he'd play with us.

"I think I'm going to be sick. Excuse me," Garrett muttered, heading for the exit quickly. Alice followed closely behind, looking as though she may throw up too.

Ah, what a great start to the day.

"Come on Bella, we'll get food and they can keep the table," Rose said, observing that it was starting to get rather busy.

The two of us walked over to the beginning of the buffet line and grabbed plates, getting ready to move along with the queue. I noticed that the toast was quite far down but rather than skip ahead I would just wait and keep Rose company. She looked a little wired, like she was ready to spill some big secret or something. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long to find out what it was.

"He asked me out," Rose said, pushing me through the buffet line as it started to move.

"Who?" I asked, completely oblivious to whom she could have meant. I really wasn't expecting her to say anything at that point. She seemed too preoccupied eyeing up the pancakes.

"Emmett."

"Emmett asked you out?" I asked, frowning. When the bloody hell did that happen? I knew I was drunk but surely I would have remembered that if they had been there.

"Yes, now keep moving. I want some of those pancakes before that fat bitch takes them all." She shoved me again and I just about dropped my plate.

"Being asked out by your perfect guy clearly has done wonders for your mood," I deadpanned, earning myself an eye roll in return.

"Oh shut it, I'm just hungry, and tired."

"Why, what did you two get up to?" I raised my eyebrows and smirked at her, only to be smacked on the shoulder.

"Nothing like that. He was actually very sweet."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. We returned to our room still buzzing from the concert and the little amount to drink we had and rather than attempt to go to sleep knowing it wouldn't be possible we played a game."

"A game?"

"Emmett went down to the gift shop and bought Monopoly. We played that until about four in the morning while watching crappy movies on the TV. Once we cleared the room he told me how much he liked me, kissed my cheek and then politely, and somewhat nervously, asked me to be his girlfriend. We are going on a date Wednesday night."

"Wow, just like that?"

"Well no, we did spend two hours talking about everything but eventually came to the agreement that we should go out with one another and that it would be really good if we did."

"So have you had any sleep at all?" I asked, grabbing my toast.

"Not really. About three hours or so," she said, yawning.

We moved further along the line until Rose's plate was filled with food. I stuck to my toast. We returned to the table and Emmett and Edward went up to get theirs. Alice and Garrett didn't look like they would be returning to the table anytime soon. My guess was that they were both far too hung-over to even contemplate eating proper food.

At the table Emmett and Rose were cute to watch. I wasn't sure if they realised they were doing it or not but they leant into each other, whispered to one another and both couldn't stop smiling about everything and anything. My boy, of course, couldn't stand seeing them both so happy and commented that their 'togetherness' was making him sick. Rose then ripped him a new one. I was glad to see that even with her being very happy Rose was still able to put my boy in his place when it was needed.

Carlisle called Edward during breakfast to check in on how we were. They had quite a friendly conversation, which I was happy to see as it would make things easier later. Edward told his father that we would be hitting the road within the hour and that we would be back in Forks probably later that afternoon. They parted on good terms and I got to breathe a little easy.

Garrett and Alice joined us for breakfast ten minutes before we were going to go up to our rooms and pack. They managed to force down some toast and water but it was clear that was pushing their limits just a bit. I did wonder how much they had to drink last night.

Seeing as Rose and Emmett were the only truly sober ones amongst us they were elected to drive. We knew they were tired but they promised us that they were capable of driving back without falling asleep behind the wheel. Three cups of coffee later, we believed them and went up to our rooms.

It didn't take long for us to gather our crap together then congregate back down in the hotel lobby. Edward checked us out and paid using his credit card, which Carlisle paid for, and then we went to our cars.

"Be careful with my baby," I said, handing the keys over to Rose when we reached the truck.

"Oh shush. Your baby will be perfectly fine. It's going to be in very capable hands," Rose replied, opening the door and jumping in. The guys were doing the same, loading everything in and getting ready to set off.

Alice and I got in with our bags in the back, both ready to conk out and get some rest. Sleeping off a hangover seemed like the best thing to do. So taking some more painkillers for the headache and guzzling down lots of water I settled into the seat, using Edward's hoodie I had 'borrowed' from his bag as a pillow, and snuggled in to sleep.

Rose woke both of us up when we got back to Forks so we could wake ourselves up properly. I actually felt refreshed after that nap, though Alice didn't. She looked like she wanted to vomit but after stiff warnings from me she assured me she wouldn't, but to keep the window down just in case.

As Alice hadn't been standing with us in the buffet line Rose filled her in on the situation with Emmett. Despite looking like death warmed up she smiled and congratulated Rose as if she wasn't suffering from a killer headache. They went on to discuss the correct pace to set in the relationship seeing how Emmett was still a little anxious about the whole thing and I just listened in, thinking more about that afternoon.

Although Edward and I weren't feeling that great we were still going to tell Renee and Carlisle about us. We couldn't put it off any longer. Esme and Randall were going back to L.A. later that week and it would be much better if this massacre was dealt with on the weekend.

Everyone's cars were parked out front our house so we all had to go back there. The guys were already there, unpacking the Jeep when we pulled up. Getting out we helped one another with everything and then said goodbyes. I think it was clear we were all rather tired and just needed to go home and either: a) sleep, b) take some more painkillers for the hangover, or c) shower and freshen ourselves up a bit.

When everyone was gone, Emmett driving Garrett home and Rose driving Alice's Porsche back to hers where Emmett was then going to pick her up, Edward and I grabbed our things and headed straight upstairs. The house was empty as we threw our clothing in the washing basket and for that I was glad. I really couldn't have been arsed with Esme, Randall, Renee or Carlisle right about then. I just wanted to relax with my boy.

"How's the neck?" I asked, rubbing it gently as he walked down the stairs in front of me. We were going to get food and then watch a movie together until the parentals returned home.

"Killing me," he groaned, rolling his head to the sides. I grabbed Edward's hand and kissed his cheek when we reached the hall, feeling bad for him. I was sure that if I hadn't been lying across his body then he wouldn't have slept the way he did.

"And how are your hips?" Edward asked, slinging his arm around my shoulders as we entered the kitchen.

"They're exceedingly painful. I swear it hurts to even walk." He chuckled and shook his head.

"All this pain and we passed out before we even got to the sex, how upsetting." I smirked and nodded, wishing we had at least had the pleasure of sex. That way this pain would have been worth it. Instead we got pain for nothing apart from our stupidity.

I rustled through the cupboards and pulled out some food. Edward just wanted sandwiches so I set about making them as he nipped next door to find us a movie. He would call through titles and wait for my verdict of yes or no. We finally decided on one that we could both sit through so Edward returned to the kitchen.

"So how do you think it's going to go, telling the parents?" I asked, worry seeping in already.

"I hope it goes well, obviously. If Randall or my mother has anything to say about it then we're fucked."

"God, they better stay away." The last thing I needed was Esme getting involved. She would paint me in the worst light. "And Carlisle?" Although the two of them had been on friendlier terms recently he was the one to worry about as his temper wasn't very nice.

"He'll freak and take everything away like last time. The only thing I'll have left is masturbation unless he wants to take my dick off me too." I rolled my eyes at Edward's antics and finished making our sandwiches.

"I'm not exactly looking forward to Carlisle's reaction but it surely won't be that bad. I mean, my mum will probably back us up in this matter. She's all for love etc."

"She won't mind?"

"Well, no. What is there to mind? She defended you completely when they first got married, telling me what a nice guy you are so she clearly already approves, and Renee wants us to all get along so she won't kick up a fuss in case it ruins the family mood."

"God I wish Carlisle would be that accommodating," Edward muttered, taking out two glasses from the cupboard. "I still can't believe the audacity of my mother, forcing us to confess our relationship when it is no business of hers."

"Esme's just doing what she thinks best. It's obvious that she wants you to go and live with her, finish school there. My guess is that she wants Carlisle to hit the roof and send you back to L.A. with her, hence why she's sticking around and why there is a deadline."

"I never thought of it that way." Edward filled our glasses up with water and took them through into the living room with me following behind with the food.

The two of us set ourselves up on the couch to eat our lunch and watch the movie. I was curled into Edward's side, with his arm around me, feeling calm and content before things we no doubt going to blow up in our faces.

"No matter what gets said, I want you to know that I love you, alright?" Edward murmured, kissing my forehead. I couldn't help but look up at him in confusion.

"What might get said?"

"Well, my mother will probably want to be there when this goes down so she can convince my father that I need to go to L.A. If she's there then she's going to dig into you pretty hard. I don't want you taking what she says to heart." Frowning I nodded.

"Guess I should have expected that," I muttered, playing with the hem of my top.

"Don't let her get to you. She's jealous that you're the main woman in my life. I guess she wishes it was her still, and that I would continue to love her like I did when I was younger."

"You were a mummy's boy?"

"Oh yeah, which made for interesting times when Esme left and it was just Carlisle and me."

"Did you blame him?"

"Yes but I was twelve at the time. Sometime later it clicked that she left because she wanted to leave, not because Carlisle did anything to make her leave. Thankfully that's all in the past. Now we have real issues to worry about."

"Hopefully it won't be that bad," I said, cuddling in closer to Edward.

"Yeah…hopefully."

"Though remember, whatever happens, we will still be together, okay?" I bit my lip and nodded.

"I love you," I said, kissing him softly. I knew he was aware that I loved him but I felt the need to tell him one more time. After all, you can never tire of hearing someone telling you they love you.

"I love you too, and we can get through this so relax," Edward replied. He pulled me closer and I snuggled in some more, quite content to just lay there forever.

Sadly we were disturbed about forty minutes later by Esme coming home. She dropped a bunch of shopping bags, though where the hell she went shopping was beyond me, onto the couch and gave us a disapproving look.

"Randall and I are leaving soon, have you decided to tell Carlisle and Renee yet?"

"We're going to tell them today," Edward replied, sitting up. As he moved position I had to sit up too. Stupid Esme, ruining the time we were using to just relax before the shit hit the fan.

"Good, about time too. When Carlisle and Renee return I will happily inform them," Esme said, smiling.

"Eh…no," Edward began. "Bella and I will tell them," he said, pointing between us. "You will not be present."

"I don't think so honey. I need to be there to help them rectify this situation."

"What situation is that?" Carlisle asked, scaring the hell out of me. I actually jumped, knocking into Edward. When the hell did he get in?

"Ah, Carlisle, you're just in time," Esme said, standing up. "Shall we move to the kitchen?" Rather than wait for an answer Esme just walked away. Carlisle, shrugging, followed her through so ultimately we had to do the same.

"So what exactly is going on?" Carlisle asked once we had all moved through. He threw his jacket off onto the counter and rolled up his sleeves, as though getting ready for an argument.

"The most atrocious thing is happening Carlisle, and under your roof," Esme began, shaking her head.

"Mother, shut the fuck up!" Edward said angrily.

"Edward!" Carlisle called, frowning at him.

"No dad, she needs to keep quiet. Bella and I agreed we would do this. I don't want her here."

"Why don't you just tell me what you are going to and then we'll see if she needs to be here or not? I take it she already knows?"

"Yes I do but I only found out because of their foul and sinful behaviour."

"Esme, that's quite enough. Edward, Bella, what's going on?" I reached over and grabbed my boy's hand for support.

"Carlisle, Edward and I-"

"They're fornicating Carlisle!" Esme cried, completely cutting me off.

"Oh you little bitch!" I yelled, turning to her. "You knew we were going to tell him, hell I was in the middle of the fucking sentence! There was absolutely no fucking need to cut me off like that!" Without realising I had started to move towards her. What pulled me from cursing her out was Edward's arms circling round my waist and holding me back.

"Ugh, she is all sorts of wrong for you Edward. Can't you see that already? She just tried to attack your own mother!" Esme exclaimed.

"Esme that was hardly what I would call-" Before Carlisle could finish his sentence Esme cut him off. She seemed to have a habit of doing that.

"No girl that dates my son will behave that way. Though, you two are hardly dating but it is about time this fling ended. Therefore Edward should come and stay with me. It's the only way to put an end to this madness."

"That won't be happening, Esme." My heart swelled with Carlisle's words. I was praying he was speaking the truth and that would not be happening or it would just break me.

"Carlisle he is fornicating with his step-sister. That is highly inappropriate."

"I don't-"

"It's a disgrace. The girl has pulled the wool over your eyes but not mine. I won't stand for it."

"Esme don't-"

"I mean, how could you let something like this happen under your roof? I knew that Edward should have moved with me."

"You left him-"

"Stop bringing up old history Carlisle, not when we're dealing with such a scandal."

"You were the one who-"

"Let me talk. We have serious issues to handle here. Now you were the one who brought this _girl _into this house so Edward shouldn't have to suffer your bad judgement anymore. He will come to L.A. with me and finish up school there. Randall and I will be happy to have him." Edward snorted and was glaring but Carlisle ignored it and tried, once again, to cut Esme off.

"That's not what's going to-"

"The best thing is to split the two of you up," Esme said, turning to Edward and I. "That way this disaster of a 'relationship' can stop and Edward, you can find someone more appropriate."

"More appropriate?!" Edward asked angrily. I tugged his hand and rubbed his arm, telling him to let it go. All the while Carlisle was still as useless as ever, trying to get Esme to shut up but it wasn't happening.

"Esme," Carlisle said, trying again.

"No Carlisle, Edward and I should have this discussion."

"No Esme, we need to have a discussion." Edward kept quiet, sensing that his father was going to lose his rag.

"Carlisle-"

"No Esme, you need to listen, for once."

"How dare you!"

"You need to leave, immediately. This matter doesn't concern you."

"He's my son Carlisle. I gave birth to him."

"Well you should have stuck around to raise him if you wanted to have any input on his life. Now, get your things and go."

"Carlisle!"

"Esme!" Carlisle yelled back. "Get out of my house, now." I had never seen Carlisle quite like that.

"Don't speak to me like that. I-"

"You, nothing. This is my home, not yours. You left. You left me. You left your son. And you left your family. So no, you don't get a say in any of this. What happens to them is up to me. They are my family. Now go pack your bags and get your bitchy arse out of here before I remove you myself."

Holy fucking hell. I'd never heard Carlisle speak like that before. It was so bloody commanding and dominating. He was just so in charge and demanding. It was actually quite a turn on. Oh yuck…thinking slightly erotic thoughts about my step-father is just seriously wrong. God, I needed bleach to wash out my brain.

Esme 'harrumphed' and stormed out, stomping her way up the stairs. Carlisle rolled his eyes and shook his head, sighing. He must have been used to her temper tantrums as it didn't seem to faze him in the least. Thankfully for all of us Randall was out, otherwise we would have had to endure his scathing comments as well that would no doubt be of no use to anyone. Stupid prat.

The front door slamming shut only minutes later told us she was gone. I felt like cheering wildly and hugging Carlisle for sending the bitch away. Turning to Edward I saw that he was smiling softly and gratefully at his father.

"Well, now that she has gone, shall we get down to business?" Neither Edward nor I said anything. "Did you really take me to be an oblivious fool?" Carlisle asked, trying again to pry words from us. We were waiting for him to blow but both had been shocked by his question. It implied that he knew what was going on.

"Pardon?" I asked, wanting to be sure that's what he was hinting at.

"What? Was I to overlook the slight flirtations, or the sex hair?" Carlisle sent me a pointed look and I couldn't help but blush bright red. Christ, that's something we really should have thought more about.

"So you knew?!" Edward asked, shocked.

"Yes, I've known for quite some time. The two of you didn't actually believe you were that stealthy, did you?"

"Apparently we did."

"Well yes, it would seem so," Carlisle shook his head and smirked, no doubt thinking over the many times we were trying to hide our relationship and failing miserably at it.

"If you knew, why didn't you say something?" I asked, frowning.

"What was I to say? If I was to try and separate you two the harder you would both try to be together. That doesn't mean I'm accepting of this relationship because I do find it very difficult, especially the position it's put me in."

"How does our relationship affect you at all? Just leave us to get on with it and there won't be a problem," Edward said, obviously wanting things to stay the way they were.

"You're relationship affects me greatly. Renee won't stand for it. The minute she hears about the two of you engaging in anything more than a platonic relationship she'll hit the roof. Now, she'll either leave, with you in tow Bella, or she'll ask that you, Edward, move out. This is my home, I don't want either."

"Why would she do that?" Edward asked, still confused. "She doesn't seem the type."

"Renee thinks that Bella is capable of more. She doesn't want her to make the same mistakes she did."

"Mistake?" my boy questioned, not catching on.

"Me. I'm the mistake she made." Gosh that hurt to admit.

"Well, yes. That and falling in love so young. She wants you to be a success and is sure that you can't do that with a man around," Carlisle said, reaching out to give me a small embrace. "You're no mistake to me," he whispered before pulling back, smiling softly at me.

"But she's always pushing me to find a rich man?"

"Reverse psychology, or that's what she says." Huh, well that certainly was working as I didn't want to become what she was.

"That could have seriously backfired," I said to no one in particular. Both of them agreed with me and then we returned to the real issue at hand.

"So you're not going to tell Renee about us?" Edward asked.

"No, I'm not," Carlisle replied, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. Clearly he wasn't enjoying this conversation.

"Why? If you want this relationship to end that will surely be the way to do it." I turned and thumped Edward.

"Don't give him any ideas," I muttered, still anxious about Carlisle and what his next move would be.

"Both of you listen and listen good. Two teenagers living in such close quarters was bound to cause problems. The problem was either going to be the two of you hating each other or the two of you fucking each other. It's been clear for a while now which option you two chose. I expected something like this to happen. What I didn't expect was for it to last as long as it has. I'm not going to go out of my way to break the two of you up. Bella, you're the daughter I never had, and with Edward you're so happy. And Edward the same applies with you being so happy except you're more forgiving due to Bella's influence." I couldn't help but snort at Edward being forgiving. What had Carlisle been smoking?

"Forgiving of whom?"

"Of me, I should specifically say. I know you're not very forgiving when it comes to Mr. Whitlock." His father's look told us both that he knew exactly what was going on. How the hell the man knew about all of that was beyond me. "Back to what I was saying, we have a better father son relationship now than we've ever had. And why? Because for once you have someone to keep you stable. What could I possibly gain from splitting the two of you up? Nothing. You both would hate me and still be together anyway. It wouldn't work."

"So why should we be so worried about Renee's reaction? You said that you wouldn't ask me to move out and if she leaves with Bella then I would still be able to see her. So what's the problem?" Edward asked, frowning.

"Renee may not be able to keep the two of you apart but she could keep me and my unborn child apart. I love your mother Bella but I love that child more and will not let it become a pawn in some elaborate chess game we all may end up playing."

"Would Renee do that?" Edward asked me, narrowing his eyes. I think he just realised, like myself, how much power my mother had now that she was pregnant.

If Renee wanted she could use that baby as a bargaining chip to get her way. I don't know if my mother intended it to be that way or not but somehow she ended up being the most powerful player in this game, where we would all be losers.

I didn't know whether to be furious with her or pretend that she would never do that, that she wasn't so heartless. But, a small part of me had to wonder why else would she get pregnant. It couldn't have been to have another baby as she could barely handle taking care of me at the best of times. I always relied on the many nannies and hired helpers my step-fathers always employed.

"I think you just answered my question," Edward said, shaking his head and looking on with disgust.

"I don't know, okay. I don't know what she could do," I said, not happy with being blamed for something that was completely out of my control.

"Regardless, Renee cannot know," Carlisle said, stressing the point.

"So we're going to keep it a secret?" I asked, looking for clarification.

"Yes we are."

The bustle of the front door opening meant someone was home. My mother's voice filled the silence as she called out for us, having seen my truck and Carlisle's Mercedes in the drive.

"There you all are," she said, smiling. "What's going on?" I think she caught the fleeting tense atmosphere that had filled the room moments earlier.

"Nothing darling. We were just talking about what they got up to in Seattle," Carlisle said, pulling her over to him. Love and adoration was present in his eyes as he looked at my mother but from the conversation we had just had it was blatantly obvious he didn't trust her one bit.

Looking at my mother I thought back over the years with her and the many step-fathers I had. Never, with any of them, had she gotten pregnant, obviously. Some of them were much richer than Carlisle which is why I couldn't understand why she would choose now to get pregnant. Maybe Carlisle was right not to trust her. After all, she had an awful track record. He clearly was protecting himself and his future child and for that I had to love him. If my mother was using that baby as some bargaining chip then all hell would break lose. That would just be one step too far. I could handle the many step-fathers but if she was to use my half-brother or sister to get money I would lose it.

Plus, she would be hurting the Cullens and in turn that would hurt me. Carlisle was the father I never had. He was by far the best step-father I had had and it felt good to have one of them truly care for me. He had welcomed me into his family and I wasn't going to snub that important gesture. If she hurt him then she was no longer my family and I knew if I needed to Carlisle would let me live here even after Renee's gone. That's if she goes.

For once I actually felt like I was in a family, although a very fucked up one at that. I didn't see Edward as my step-brother, just to clarify. He's my boyfriend first, who just happens to be my step-brother. But we were 'technically' family, and I sort of liked it- the family unit that is.

What I didn't like was Renee threatening that. She was in control, whether she realised it or not I don't know, but she had the power to break us apart. She had the power to break our family, break Edward and I up, break Carlisle and his unborn child up, and generally bring a shit load of misery to us all.

Taking another look at my mother I hoped to God she had no intention of hurting our family. I finally felt at home and was not going to lose that feeling just because of her. For once in her life she needed to realise that family was more important than money. And if she didn't, well then she was no mother of mine. But until the verdict came back on her my relationship with Edward would just have to remain a secret. Well, every family has a secret. This was clearly going to be ours.

**A.N. **

**I'm sure you've all heard these things a million times before but I like to have a clear conscience and make sure it's obvious I'm not promoting dangerous driving. So please don't drive if you're tired or have had very little sleep. And also please don't drink and drive or drive the following day when you've had a lot to drink the night before. Right, safety talk done. **

**Sadly my health has deteriorated again, though this time it's much worse, so I'm going to be taking another break. Due to that I don't know when the next update will be. It could be a week or it could be several months. All I ask is that you just hang in there. I don't say this enough but I really do appreciate every single one of you that reads, alerts, favourites and reviews this story. It really gives me the motivation to keep going with this as at times it would be much easier to just stop so thank you. **

**Anyway, see you next update. **


	26. Chapter 25: Fighting is for Losers!

Previously: The group found out Jasper was Robin Hood and Edward challenged him to a fight, naming himself the Sheriff. Rose is still pissed at Jasper while Alice is pining over him. Bella is staying out of the fight no matter what. Carlisle found out about Edward and Bella's relationship and didn't hit the roof. He fears that Renee will break up their family and take away his baby if she finds out therefore they're all trying to keep it one big secret.

**

* * *

My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Twenty Five: Fighting is for Losers!**

The day we all returned to school was going to be bad at best, but I was not expecting it to take the turn it did. Edward knew I was going to remain mutual in the whole Sheriff versus Robin Hood situation – however, it seemed as though Jasper was unaware of this.

My boy wanted us to go to school together, so I drove with him in his car. We were quite early, allowing time for Edward to meet up with some other students who supported his cause. Therefore, there were hardly any cars in the lot. But the one car I didn't want to see was there. Jasper's vehicle was parked near the doors and he was leaning against the bonnet, watching us carefully.

I let go of Edward's hand and started to walk over to Jasper, only to feel him grab me again. His eyes bore into mine for a second and then looked at Jasper's.

"I don't want you near him," Edward ground out.

"And _I_ don't care."

He glared at me and I wanted to roll my eyes. He was being so possessive.

"Look, you and Jasper have problems. Jasper and I don't. What's the issue?"

He could obviously tell I wasn't going to take his crap and just sighed, letting go of me.

I walked across the lot and gave Jasper a soft smile. In my head I was planning to tell him that I wasn't going to be involved. The whole issue was between Edward and him, not me. I may be Edward's girlfriend but that didn't mean I had picked sides. Granted, I was going to support Edward's decisions as he was my boyfriend, but I wasn't going to help either of them in their silly little war against one another.

"Hey Jasper," I said, looking him over. I felt like I should have been holding my hands up at him to prove I wasn't carrying a weapon and that I actually did come in peace. He eyed me for another moment before giving me a lazy smile and then glancing over my shoulder, no doubt at Edward.

"Your boy doesn't look very happy," he pointed out, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"I don't care. I'm free to do what I please. Edward will just have to deal with that."

Jasper's eyes flipped back to me and he dropped the smile. "What did you really come over here for?"

"Huh?" Oh yes, so freaking eloquent.

"I asked, what did you really come over here for? Is this Edward's way of fishing for information, by sending you? Is he getting you to do his dirty work? Well, let me tell you, it's not going to fucking work. Now run back to your master like the bitch you are."

Hold the fuck on.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, now go." Jasper looked away, uninterested. It was clear he was dismissing me but I was not about to be dismissed.

But no sir, no little shit gets to talk to me like that and get away with it.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" I yelled, jabbing him on the shoulder to get his attention again. "I come over to say hi and see how you're doing, because you know, I do not want a part in all this and you think I'm acting on Edward's behalf? I can make my own choices and decisions, Jasper; I don't need a man to tell me what to do. So don't even think for one second that I will follow your orders. You don't control me. Edward doesn't control me. And before you decided to have a little rant, I was perfectly happy staying out of this mess."

"But now?" he asked, not fazed in the least.

"But now I hope Edward tears you out. You honestly do think you're better than everyone and that you can dictate? Well guess what, you're about to be overthrown. Everyone in this school is sick and tired of your hypocrisy. Robin Hood was meant to be a white knight for the underdogs and those unfairly treated. You've turned him into a vengeful git caring more about a personal agenda than the students who really need help."

"Do not stand here and lecture me on Robin Hood, Bella," Jasper spat, standing up tall. "I've attended this school a lot longer than you have. Hell, you were still sucking your stepfather's cock for a quick buck while I was learning the ropes. Don't talk about what you don't know."

"You self-righteous prick!" I couldn't think straight from being so angry. The rage was boiling up inside of me and I couldn't hold it back. I was so angry with him. My fists were clenched and I was grinding my teeth together, trying to fight back the natural reaction to beat the shit out of him. He was so fucking infuriating!

Without a second thought, I threw myself at him. I know it's wrong to fight but that comment about me apparently sucking my stepfather's dick for money was too far. He labelled me like everyone does; just like my mother. Just the mere thought that he believed I would stoop that low was unbelievable. I wanted to kill him, and by throwing myself at him I was hoping to achieve that.

Jasper wasn't expecting it and with his hands in his pockets he had no chance to stop my body from colliding with his. I had rammed into his chest, elbow pointed out to make first contact, and once he had fallen backwards onto the bonnet of his car, I started hitting him.

Each fist slammed down onto him, anywhere I could hit. His face, his chest, his arms, his hands – just fucking anywhere. I wanted the bastard to pay. He knew me, he was my friend at one point and yet he thought I did sexual favours for money.

"Stop fucking hitting me!" Jasper yelled, shoving me backwards. I stumbled off him and fell onto the concrete, scraping my knees and elbow in the process.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Edward yelled, much closer than I thought he would be. I was kinda hoping he hadn't seen my attack on Jasper because I wanted to fight my own battles but from his tone, I gathered that he saw it and was coming over to help.

"Keep your bitch on a leash next time," Jasper spat, glaring at the two of us.

"Oh you -" Edward lunged for him but I wasn't having that. My boy was on seriously thin ice with the school. Having gotten up off the ground, I shoved my hands out into Edward's chest, stopping him from making the fatal move.

"Leave it. You don't need to fight my battles for me." I looked him hard in the eyes, ready to argue with him if he happened to defy me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, jaw and fists clenched tightly shut.

"I will be. I'll need to go and get some plasters. Come on; walk with me to the nurse?" It wasn't meant to be a question – more like an order. He was coming whether he liked it or not. I wasn't going to leave him to scrap it out.

Looking down at my knees, Edward winced and then looked over to my elbow. He placed his hand on my forearm and when he pulled back, I saw the blood. Just thinking about it, if I had worn my blazer like the rules said, I wouldn't have cut my elbow. Typical, the one day I decide to maybe break the rules I end up getting injured for it.

"Let's go," he whispered, kissing my forehead.

Entwining my hand with his, I led us through the car park and into the main building. Edward was still seething in anger but as I had asked him nicely not to make my battles his he was going to rein it in until otherwise told so. There was no doubt though that he would just take that anger out on Jasper anyway, but claim it was the Sheriff getting justice or some bullshit like that.

The nurse patched me up in no time at all, applying antiseptic cream to all three cuts, which hurt like a motherfucker, and then gave me plasters. The whole thing probably took about ten minutes at max, but unfortunately, that wasn't enough time to get Edward to calm down.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked, the two of us standing outside the nurse's office.

"Yeah, it's just a few cuts." I waved him off, not that bothered about it.

"No, about getting involved? I saw you deck him, Bella – you're involved now. What did he say, anyway?" The curiosity was bursting out of Edward but I wasn't going to give him that nail for Jasper's coffin.

"It doesn't matter what he said. And I know, I know I'm now involved but I'll be fine. Jasper already thinks I'm on your side so it won't make a difference."

"Yes it does, Bella," Edward said, shaking his head at me.

"How?"

"You just attacked the guy that loads of others look up to. You honestly don't think there will be retribution for that? I know you think we're being silly bastards but I'm serious when I say this will get ugly. We're not having a pissing contest; we genuinely are trying to fuck the other person up. Whether that is through violence or something else, one of us will succeed and the other will be left in a pretty fucking huge mess. You're involved. You need to be prepared for some asshole to come and give you shit, and you can't attack them all like you did, Jasper. It doesn't work that way. If you do, then you'll be suspended or expelled by the end of the day."

"What are you saying? That I need to now keep looking over my shoulder?"

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying." Edward clearly had lost the plot. This little war they had gotten themselves into was certainly not that important. It wasn't that big nor was it that serious. He was delusional.

"Uh huh, right. I'll do that. Remember you do the same," I said, taking the piss and rolling my eyes.

"Bella, I'm being serious. I don't want you hurt."

"I'm fine Edward. Now go, someone wants you." Nodding over his shoulder, I directed him towards a group of guys that were gathering up. Glancing round, Edward sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Look, just please take care of yourself, will you?"

"Yes, I will." God, he was acting more like a father than a boyfriend.

Edward kissed my cheek and then walked away, leaving me alone in the hallway. Students were walking past me like nothing was the matter but if you looked closer, you could see the slight edge to some of them. Some were watching Edward in interest, to see how he was acting, and others were glaring at him, looking ready to strike out at him. The situation was becoming rather crazy, and I was exceedingly nervous.

As my morning went on, I began to see more and more posters up, all saying the same thing: Robin Hood vs. The Sheriff. They were on walls, lockers, pinned up on doors, in the bathrooms, all over the lunchroom, and every class room had at least three posters in them. It would be very hard for any student to be unaware of the situation that was going down.

The two of them continued to give each other foul looks throughout the morning and at lunch, things seemed close to kicking off. Edward's 'supporters' had gathered in one area and directly across from them were the Merry Men and 'supporters' of Robin Hood. The masses were calling the shots, wanting an arrangement settled before they just randomly attacked each other.

My boy finished with his lunch, wiped his mouth with his napkin and eyed the area with interest. Knowing what was coming, he threw his trash in the bin and walked over. Jasper approached at the same time and soon enough, they were there together.

Jasper and Edward stood before one another, waiting for the other to speak. Glancing over Edward's shoulder, Jasper laughed humourlessly and shook his head at the sight of Emmett standing there. Perhaps he was surprised that Emmett was taking sides, so obviously in this they were all best friends…or had all been best friends at some point.

"I came to suggest that we call this quits and let the students decide," Edward said calming, his voice unwavering. He showed no sign of anger nor rage, and for this I was very glad. I didn't want my boy showing his hand before the game began.

Jasper looked at us bewildered and frowned. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Not at all. I'm dead serious. It would be in our best interests not to attack one another or start a riot. I am suggesting that we let the students vote on who the winner should be."

"Vote? And how do you intend to do that?"

"Lunch time, on the football pitches, all those in favour of your cause stand on your side, and all those in favour of mine on my side. The majority wins. It's very simple and the fairest option possible."

"No."

I frowned at Jasper and then scanned the guys standing behind him. Robin Hood was meant to be about being fair and standing up for those with no voice, yet here Jasper was dismissing the option that allowed everyone to have their say.

The guys behind Jasper didn't look all too pleased by his decision, but no one spoke up. They could easily change their alliance later on if they wished but doing so publicly would not be a wise choice, though it would work very well in Edward's favour. Robin Hood's Merry Men abandoning him at a time like this would cripple Jasper's perfect image and show just how little support he actually has in the school.

"Excuse me?" Edward asked, wanting clarification.

"I said _no_. We will settle this physical way since you are so determined to start a war. A vote would never be fair and never show accurate representation unless it was anonymous but that would be open to cheating, therefore we'll fight it out. You against me, tonight, nine o'clock on the football fields. Bring all those you want to fight with you. I shall have my Merry Men," Jasper said, gesturing to the folk beside him. I suspected those numbers would dwindle by this evening.

"Fine, but when you become a casualty of this so called 'war,' do _not_ blame me when I suggested that we do this without violence. I shall see you tonight."

"You can count on it."

The two of them turned and walked away, Edward leading me by the hand. He was glaring at the hallway floor as we walked away, clearly annoyed that Jasper didn't take his option for a vote seriously. It wasn't that Edward couldn't win in a physical fight; it was more he didn't want students getting hurt, having to pick fights and ultimately if he was to return home covered in bruises, it would likely impair the relationship he was finally building up with Carlisle. That would definitely affect the two of them and I gathered that Carlisle would dish out a hefty punishment.

Stopping in an empty classroom, Edward pulled me over to where he had sat on the edge of the desk. His head sunk into the crook of my neck and he inhaled deeply.

"I don't want to fight him."

I ran my hands through his hair and nodded gently. "I know, but you've done all you can. Jasper had the option to end this peacefully and he chose not to. It's not your fault if others get hurt, just focus on making sure you don't get too badly hurt, I would like it if you came out of this alive."

Chuckling, softly Edward shook his head. "If I get my way there will be no fight." Lifting his head, he looked me in the eyes and softly kissed me. "I've got to go do something but will you meet me by my car after school?"

"You're going to ditch your classes?" I knew that Edward had a full afternoon, so either what he was going to do was going to take a couple of minutes or was going to skip out on them altogether.

"Yeah, I have to. I have to try."

Kissing me once again, he repeated his question. "Will you meet me by my car after school?"

Nodding, I nuzzled against him for a moment, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "I'll be there, and will you please explain what's going on?"

"Of course."

Untangling himself from me, Edward kissed my cheek and left the classroom, the door closing behind him.

Only a few seconds later Emmett popped his head round the door. "Are you decent? May I enter?" His hand was covering his eyes and he was grinning cheekily. Laughing I beckoned him in and jumped up onto the teachers desk where Edward had been sitting.

"What do I owe the pleasure?" I asked, kicking my legs back and forth.

"I wanted to see how you were holding up with everything," Emmett said, smiling softly at me. He took a seat in one of the chairs, as though ready for class to begin.

"I'm doing okay, as well as can be expected," I replied, not really understanding why I wouldn't be okay.

"I heard you attacked Jasper this morning, decking him into his car." Emmett was grinning fully like a kid on Christmas day.

Laughing softly, I ran a hand through my hair and peeked up through the strands that had fallen across my face. "I might have, yes."

Emmett laughed loudly and clapped his hands. "I'm happy to hear it, though what did he say to you to get that reaction? I mean, it must have been something good because I remember you punching Felix for groping you…so it must have been something big."

I replayed the conversation to Emmett and he sighed loudly when he heard what Jasper had said about me and my stepfathers.

"Jasper is all sorts of messed up right not." That sounded like an excuse for his behaviour. As if he read my mind Emmett pandered to fix his faux pas. "It doesn't excuse what he's said, I promise you that. But right now nothing coming out of his mouth makes sense. He's lost Rose, he's lost Alice, he's lost his best friends and now he's losing the only thing that gives him purpose at this school. Unfortunately you were on the receiving end of one of his tantrums. I'm sorry, Bella."

"You have no reason to say sorry, Emmett. _You _didn't accuse me of being a whore for my step-fathers."

"I know, but still, you've been dragged into the mess and that's not called for."

"I was already in it. Have you forgotten who the Sheriff is?" Emmett chuckled and shrugged.

"Okay, so _yes_, you were dragged into this without asking for it but that doesn't mean I can't feel bad about it."

"Why do you feel bad, Em? You've been nothing but kind to me."

"I guess I just like to protect people, and you were hurt, so I'm protecting. I don't want anything to happen to you Bella; you're like my little sitter."

I couldn't help but slide off the desk and go over to hug him. He was such a sweetheart.

"Thanks, Em, but don't worry. I am a big girl, I can look after myself. If I ever need help though, I know who to ask." Hugging him again I kissed his cheek and stepped backwards. "Now tell me, how are things with Rose?"

He blushed and looked down. "They're good," he mumbled, coughing to return his voice back to normal.

Emmett was all embarrassed and all I had done was mention Rose's name. What had those two been up to? Smirking I took a seat on the chair next to Em.

"You blush like a school girl and you expect me to just believe that things are good?"

Chuckling, he nodded and sighed. "Alright, okay, they're better than fine. She's...amazing. I love her. She doesn't know that of course but hell, I love her. We're taking things slow of course, because you know, of Royce, but she's more than I could ever have hoped for."

"Aww Em! You're so cute in love."

He blushed even more and stood up, puffing out his chest, trying to appear manlier.

"That is neither here nor there."

Grinning back at me, Emmett chuckled and shook his head. "Tell anyone and you're in trouble."

I mock saluted him and rolled my eyes. As if I would tell anyone. Who was I going to tell? My only friends were Edward, Rose, Alice and Emmett. Garrett kinda counted but I wouldn't say we were really friends, more acquaintances so I would never tell him that.

Emmett held out his arm for me and then escorted me to my locker. I fetched my bag and books before checking the time. I had about five minutes before class was to start. Emmett escorted me along and dropped me off at the door. It was very sweet of him, and I briefly wondered if Edward had asked him to do it in his place.

Then again, Emmett was known to be sweet all on his own.

After thanking him, I entered and took a seat, ready to let the day pass by. There was nothing exciting to keep me awake. However, I had to endure the dull class. I knew that there was only three more periods left before Edward was going to tell me what he had been up to all afternoon…and that only made time pass by slower.

When that final bell rang at the end of the day, I honestly felt like I was ready to fly out my skin. Not only was I desperate to know what Edward was doing, I was also nervous about tonight. If his plan didn't work then there was going to be a massive brawl on the football fields and that would have major consequences.

I was sure I wouldn't have to wait any longer to find out what was going on but of course that was not the case. I had to wait in the parking lot for Edward. His car was there but he was nowhere in sight. By the time he pitched up nearly every other car in the lot was gone. My boy gave me an apologetic smile though and opened my door for me. He helped me and then raced round to his side.

"Sorry, Bella, I never expected to take so long," he said, firing up the engine. Racing out of the lot he sped through town and towards the house.

"It's okay. What were you doing anyway?" Being subtle was not my style at that moment. It was better just to ask him direct.

"I was talking to a guy I used to go to school with." And with that he stopped. I thought he had paused for a breath but apparently not. After a minutes silence I realised he wasn't going to start back up again.

"And?"

"And he's going to help me."

"Help you with…?" Christ, it was like pulling teeth out. He was not giving me anything whatsoever.

"With Jasper."

Sighing, I counted to ten, reeling in my anger at how vague he was being when he told me earlier that he would inform me of what was going on. "Do you plan on keeping it a big secret?" I asked, my tone sounding very clipped and brisk.

Edward shot me a sideways glance and then sighed. "Sorry, Bella, I just, don't know if he's going to be able to help me out completely and I don't want to get my hopes up. The less I talk about it, the better I will feel. Can you just humour me for a while?"

"Sure." I was going to give him a break because he really deserved one, having to put up with all the crap that was going on. Plus, there was bound to be some way that I could convince him later on if need be.

The rest of the journey was particularly quiet with the occasional question from Edward asking about my afternoon classes. He seemed focused on other things when I answered in detail, as though he wasn't listening, so after the first question I didn't do that anymore. I started replying with one word answers and that seemed to suit him too.

We pulled up at the house and were surprised to see a car that we thought we wouldn't be seeing again. Esme's vehicle was parked right in front of the house. Two occupants were inside and I assumed that was her and Randal. Edward visibly tensed at the sight of it but continued driving and parked in the garage. We both got out and headed over to see what they could possibly want, Edward's hand clasped in mine.

Of all the days for Esme to show up she had to do it on the one where Edward was going through mental turmoil, trying to face Jasper, make sure no one got hurt, and remain strong for those that believed he had the right idea about Robin Hood. A moment of weakness from him would secure Jasper's reign as dictator and oppressor.

The driver's door opened as we got closer and Esme stepped out, looking immaculate as ever. She gave us both warm smiles like nothing had happened the previous day. The woman was actually off her mind.

"May we help you?" I asked, my voice free of any emotion. I didn't want her to think she was welcome but didn't want to give her any more ammunition against me.

"Edward, I was wondering if I could speak to you honey." She ignored me completely and it was like I hadn't even spoken.

Edward noticed this, and his glare darkened.

"I have nothing to say to you, so you should leave," he gritted out, clearly not impressed with her arrival.

"You don't need to say anything; I will do all the talking."

"No. Now _leave_."

"I came to say goodbye, the least you could do is wish your mother well Edward." She was smiling brightly at him as though she hadn't said anything wrong but that was the exact wrong thing to do.

"Why would you bother to say goodbye now when you didn't five years ago?" he spat at her, wiping the smile straight off of her face. "Leave. I don't want anything to do with you. Just go."

Esme bristled herself up for a fight and then let herself relax. Looking into her eyes was like looking straight into her soul. She was in so much pain. From the looks of things, all of her emotions were bottled up, hidden away, and this was a rare moment of weakness. Her eyes glistened in the light and it was most definitely tears forming. Turning before we managed a proper look she nipped back to the car. Her hand remained on the door handle however.

"I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused you. I wanted to be a perfect wife and mother, and I failed. It wasn't you; I didn't leave because of you. I just wasn't cut out for it. I'm so sorry." She brushed the tears off her face, giving him one last look, and gently got into the car.

The engine roared to live and within moments the car made its way down the lane leading to the road. She was gone, and from that departure it was clear she was not going to come back. Edward must have realised that, too, from the look upon his face. My boy was swallowing hard and licking his lips, trying to fight back emotion.

"I'm going for a walk, okay?" His voice cracked at the end and my heart broke for him.

Charlie was never around – but not because he didn't want to be. Having a parent leave because they didn't think they were a good parent and because they couldn't handle it must have hurt beyond belief. She chose not to be with him and that was something he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life.

Without waiting for my answer, Edward walked away round the back of the house. I suspected he was going to trail through the woods.

The fact that he told me made it clear that I wasn't to go along with him so I didn't bother following him round back. I hunted out my keys and went inside, going straight upstairs and collapsing on my bed. It was barely even four thirty in the afternoon and already I was dead on my feet. The constant anticipation over whether a fight was going to break out at school must have been more exhausting than I realised. Adding everything else on top of that I actually shouldn't have been surprised that I was tired.

A nap seemed like a good idea so I kicked off my school clothes, crawled into my bed in nothing but my underwear and snuggled up good, letting my muscles relax for the first time during the day.

What must have been three hours later I woke to the feeling of another person getting into bed with me. I rolled over groggily and found Edward's gorgeous green eyes looking back at me. He gave me a soft smile and hugged me. I was too tired to ask how he was or question him about his walk so I just let him nuzzle against me.

We lay together for quite a while, him becoming sleepier while I was waking up. This was our moment of calm before the storm. Across town, cars would have been arriving early at the football field, and students would be gathering. They all knew what was going on; the news spreading like wildfire, and I doubted any of them were going to miss it. Edward, leading a part of the charge, had no choice but to turn up or admit defeat. From the second we got out of the bed there would be no peace and quiet. His mind was going to fill with thoughts, buzzing and hissing at him to consider every option, think of every possible outcome and analyse what he could have done better, if anything. I wasn't going to disrupt that peace for anything, he needed it.

After getting up, I changed out of my school clothes into something more casual. If tonight was going to end up with a massive brawl I didn't want to get blood on my uniform. Taking precautions, I headed into Carlisle and Renee's bathroom and raided their bathroom cupboard. Carlisle stocked bandages, syringes, antiseptic cream, surgical sutures and thread, plasters, cream and ice spray from bruises and many other medical supplies that may be needed if one was to start a serious fight.

I really wasn't looking forward to having to clean up Edward's wounds but knew that someone would have to do it. I'd rather it be me than Carlisle; he would ask too many questions. It will be obvious that a fight has taken place but the better Edward's wounds are looked after the less likely Carlisle is going to ask what the hell happened.

Shoving all the supplies in my backpack, I headed back up to Edward. He was awake, staring out the window and frowning. I didn't dare ask what he was thinking, just walked over and took his hand. Turning to me, he kissed my cheek and then began leading me out the house.

The clock on the dashboard in his car read 20:39, leaving us enough time to get to the field. All the way Edward was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel and shaking his head. He was obviously stressed but there was nothing I could do about that.

Pulling up to the school was crazy. The gates were wide open, a line of cars stretched all the way to the playing fields and plenty of students were trekking across the grounds to get there. I had never seen so many of us in one place apart from the large assemblies we had once a week.

"Holy shit," I muttered, upon seeing the masses.

"Holy shit indeed," Edward replied, taking in his surroundings.

As students recognised Edward's car, they pulled to the side and let him pass, allowing us a quick drive over to where students had assembled themselves. Edward got out immediately, leaving me to my own devices, and joined Emmett. I lazily got out of the car, and propped myself against it. There was nowhere for me to go so I was just going to stay by the car. Edward had made it clear that I wasn't meant to be over with him.

"You not going to join your boy?" Rose asked, coming over to stand beside me.

"He's busy, I wouldn't want to disturb the sheriff," I replied, rolling my eyes.

She chuckled and shook her head. "What is it about this situation that has you pissed off?"

"Everything. It should never have come this far. Jasper and Edward shouldn't have gotten everyone involved. They're being pricks. Speaking of, where is Jasper?" Looking round, I scanned the area and saw no Jasper. His Merry Men were gathered in one group…but he was not around.

"No clue. I don't see Alice either, so I'll assume he's having his dick sucked off." The harshness in her voice surprised me and I gasped at her.

"Eh...what the fuck, Rose? I thought you and Alice were friends." Christ, if she turned that hot and cold with her friends then I stood no chance.

Rose rolled her eyes and sighed. "You happened to see her with her boyfriend lately?" she asked. I pursed my lips and had a hard think. Unfortunately I came up blank. I had no clue when that last time I saw them together was. "My point exactly," Rose added, noticing my silence.

"Alright, so she's not so close with Garrett. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that he's always been there for me and she's just shitting all over him. The guy is head over heels for her and she can't stop pinning over a prick who calls out another girl's name when he comes. What the fuck is that about?" Rose was getting crosser by the minute and I had to find some way to diffuse the situation.

"Yes, you're right. The situation is messed up. However, you have no say in that relationship. Garrett is a big boy and can make his own decisions. Alice, well, Alice needs to either give up and forget Jasper or stop messing Garrett around and dump him. We can't do anything about that though Rose, so try not to waste your breath. Alright?" I pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back, knowing that she took her friendships very seriously. Garrett must have been one hell of a friend to have Rose fighting in his corner. "Now come on, let's go watch our men scrap it out on the field."

Pushing ourselves away from Edward's car, we walked through the crowd of students and took in the sight before us. Edward and a huge group of guys were standing at one part of the field and directly across from them stood the Merry Men, missing their Robin Hood.

Edward spotted us and walked over, the guys around him parting like the red sea. Hugging me, he kissed my neck and then gave me a soft kiss on the lips. I always felt like I was flying when he did things like that.

"I think it would be best if you sat at the side for this. I don't want either of you getting hurt," he said, looking at Rose and me. "So will you go over peacefully or do I have to lock you both in my car?" He gave us that crooked smile so we knew he was kidding but there was an edge to his voice that hinted he would have no issue actually doing that to us.

"I think we can sit this out, don't you Rose?" I asked, already steering us away from the group of them.

"Thank you!" he called, retreating away from us.

Finding two seats was a little bit of a struggle but we managed eventually. Who knew that half of the student body would turn out to watch a brawl?

By nine o'clock, everyone was waiting with anticipation. Jasper was meant to be there. His absence was most certainly not going unnoticed and his men were getting restless.

"You think he'll show?" Rose asked, biting her lip.

"I haven't got a clue." Jasper could have been playing bloody mind games for all we knew, making Edward think he had won by default, only to come out and start the fight.

"By now I just want them to get it over with. Fight, make up and move on. It's gone on long enough."

I agreed wholeheartedly with her.

"Things will never go back to how they were, will they?" I asked, frowning slightly. Edward and Jasper seemed to constantly be fighting and no amount of violence, which we were about to be greeted with, was going to change that.

"Probably not. Unfortunately for you, you came at the wrong time. This would have happened sooner or later. I guess Edward and Jazz are just not meant to be friends." Rose shrugged and continued looking round the field for Jasper.

Students were getting restless. He was nowhere in sight and it wasn't making any sense. He was hardly going to throw down the gauntlet at Edward's feet to only not turn up – unless something had happened. Edward had been busy all afternoon, with God only knows what, and that niggling feeling in the back of my head was telling me he was the reason Jasper hadn't turned up. Whatever Edward had done was successful. He had somehow either got Jasper to back off or had chased him off.

"I'll be right back," I said to Rose, standing up and making my way down to the field. Students saw me coming and immediately got out of my way. I guess being the girlfriend of one of the guys in control of the school gave you some perks.

"Edward?" I called, stepping closer to him. Before I could get in earshot of him Garrett intercepted me. He was smiling down at me as he effortlessly shimmied me backwards.

"Hey, Bella!" His happiness was infectious, causing me to smile back, but I knew he was distracting me.

"Hey, Garrett. You want to let me through? I need to see Edward."

"No can do, darling, I have strict rules to keep you away from him right now."

"Why?" What the hell was Edward playing at?

"Cause he's worried about you," Garrett said, shrugging. "He thinks that you might end up getting hurt somehow."

I wasn't sure whether to buy it or not. "Really?" I shot him a sceptical look and waited to see what he'd say.

"Promise you, Bella. Some students are just here to fight, not caring about what the hell is going on between Jasper and Edward. They're picking small fights; it'll break out like a rash any minute now. You don't want to be caught in there. Alright?"

I nodded and crossed my hands over my chest. "Can you go get Edward for me then, Garrett?"

He looked over his shoulder and then back at me. He wasn't sure, his face filled with worry. "Okay, fine. I'll do it but Edward might not come over. I'll try my best for you."

He wandered off into the crowd of students as I waited. What Garrett said seemed to have some truth behind it, from what I could see. A bunch of guys were drinking and shouting abuse at others, egging them on. The place was going to blow and I did not want to be there when it happened. I was going to talk to Edward and then get Rose so we could leave. This was all becoming too much, and for what? Jasper not to show up. Prick.

"Bella, I think you should leave," Edward said, coming to stand in front of me. "Jasper's not going to show and I want to stay behind and make sure things end quietly. Take Rose and here are my keys."

Taking his car keys from him, I pocketed them and then opened my mouth to speak, just as he was going to walk away. I refused to be dismissed like that and pulled on his shirt.

"Do you know why he's not here?"

"No," Edward replied, not looking genuine at all. It was as though he was anticipating this.

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care," he said, shaking his head. "Go home, please." Kissing me quickly on the forehead, Edward then walked off, Garrett in step behind him. He shot me an apologetic look, knowing that didn't go the way I wanted it to go.

Growling silently to myself, I fetched Rose and relayed the message to her. She was pissed and wanted to go and knock some sense into Edward, thinking that he shouldn't be treating me like that. I knew she shouldn't get involved in our issues so led her to his car. We squabbled for a few minutes over who should drive but she won out in the end. Nipple twists hurt like hell, and apparently make you drop your keys. She's such a sneaky bugger at times.

We headed back to mine and settled ourselves in my room, lying across the floor and the bed. Rose filled me in on what was going on in her love life as I munched popcorn and finished my homework. It was good to finally hear things going well for her, especially giving the fucked up situation we were all in.

By half ten, Emmett and Edward had returned. They stocked their arms full of juice and food before joining the two of us in my room. Edward sat down quietly next to me, kissing me on the temple. I warmed to his sweet affections but still was a bit put out by his behaviour earlier. Then again, he was meaning well and was having a stressful time.

"So, what happened?" Rose asked, once they had both filled their stomachs to the brim.

"Well, Jasper never showed," Emmett began. "No one has heard from him, and his guys are pissed. By about quarter to ten the Merry Men and the other guys were done, they had had enough and left. There were a few stragglers behind but it was clear; Jasper had lost this by default. They were all convinced that he was too much of a pussy to show because he knew he would lose. Anyway, once the Merry Men and our guys left we had to try and keep the peace between the dickheads who were left. Took us some time but we got rid of most of them. And here we are," he said, smiling at us.

"Well that was a major disappointment," Rose muttered, flopping back onto the bed.

"Okay, that was the edited version. Now, Edward, you want to explain why Jasper didn't show up?" I asked, looking at him. He gave me a small smirk and shrugged.

"What do you want me to say?" He was toying with us, but I figured I'd go along, expand some more if need be.

"You want to explain to what's going on? You knew Jasper wasn't coming, you won this now and yet you look like you've just been told your dick is going to fall off during the next full moon."

"I did not know that he wasn't coming." I knew there was more so kept quiet, letting him know I wasn't expecting that as an answer. After a moment of silence he sighed and shook his head, clearly done playing games. "I may have anticipated it but I didn't know if it was going to happen or not."

"How?" Emmett asked, frowning.

"I called a friend and he helped me out."

"Come on dude, you've got to give more than that."

Rose and I nodded in agreement with Em, waiting for more.

"I called Hewitt."

"Really?"

"When?"

"Who?"

Edward chuckled and shook his head at all our reactions. He turned to me and placed his arm over my shoulders, pulling me into his embrace.

"Hewitt was the old Robin Hood, the one everyone loved. Jasper was in awe of the guy. To answer your question, Rose, I called him this afternoon, in the hope I could get him to come down here and sort this mess out."

"He actually did it?" Emmett asked, looking surprised.

"I assume so, Jasper never showed."

"Fuck me, that was smart thinking, Batman," Emmett cried, smiling giddily. Edward laughed and kissed my cheek.

"Thanks, but it was a long shot."

"Doesn't matter, it worked," Rose pointed out. "Now people don't have to worry about being persecuted at school for pissing off the wrong person. I hate to say it but, well done, Edward." They smiled at one another and then their faces changed to one of pure disgust.

"I still hate you, bitch," he said.

"And _I_ hate _you_, prick."

"Nothing ever changes, does it?" Emmett asked happily. "Well, with that cleared up and my stomach full I bid thee goodnight." Holding out his hand to Rose, he bowed. "M'lady?" She giggled and placed her hand in his. The two of them left the room laughing like little kids, leaving Edward and I in silence.

"You pissed at me?" he asked, taking my hand and kissing along my knuckles.

"Not anymore." I was a little peeved before but was willing to let that go now.

"Thanks." He kissed me soundly, running his hand through my hair and pulling me closer.

I pushed him away so I could straddle his lap and made my move onto him. Groaning in pleasure, Edward pulled my body closer and bucked his hips up into mine. Kissing the life out of him, I tugged at his hair, pulled his clothes, tore my nails down the skin of his arms and fought my way to his body.

"We...should maybe lock the door," he panted, kissing his way down my neck as I had my head thrown back.

"If you want to get up and lock it, be my guest."

He didn't move so I took that to be a no, he wasn't going to lock the door.

Getting him shirtless wasn't a hard feat but trying to work his pants off while I was straddling his lap was another matter all together. It was just not going to be possible without me moving, and as I was enjoying the friction, I wasn't going to move anytime soon. Rather, I unbuckled his belt and undid his jeans, opening them up. His boxers were strained but given the new freedom I untucked him from them and bucked myself back against him – although I had too many clothes on to have skin to skin contact, he still felt amazing.

"Bella, I was wondering-" That voice was not Edward's and we both froze immediately. "Oh good Lord." Carlisle turned right back round and shut my bedroom door behind him.

I was absolutely mortified.

"Holy shit," I cried quietly. "Fuck."

"You can say that again," Edward murmured, putting himself back in his jeans, his father having walked in killing the erection. "I guess we better go downstairs and get the official reprimanding before he feels the need to come back up."

After untangling ourselves, I sorted my clothes and headed for the door, leaving Edward to come down a few minutes after me. As I walked down the stairs I was so relieved that it had been Carlisle rather than my mother. She would have probably gone into labour and then used the baby as a bargaining chip. Yeah, I didn't have much faith in her.

Knocking on Carlisle's office door I waited for a reply. I assumed he would have retreated in there rather than go back down to my mother. Hearing his voice beckoning me in I peeked my head round the door, blushing wildly, and walked in.

"I'm so sorry, Carlisle," I said, feeling awful that he had to see that. He had been so understanding about us and I didn't want to throw that away by what seemed to be Edward and I flaunting our relationship around the house.

"Don't worry, Bella. I figured it would happen. But please, next time, lock the door. Renee was going to come up and talk to you but I offered to do it instead, thank God for that." He looked genuinely worried and the guilt seeped in more.

Carlisle would lose a baby if Edward and I weren't careful. We were putting our lust in front of his family and that was completely unacceptable. Although my mother may not react like a banshee and try and keep the child from Carlisle, the fact still remained that there was that option. Edward and I needed to be careful, and looking at the man before me, who had accepted me as his stepdaughter right off the bat, I was going to make sure we didn't slip up like that again.

"Yeah, what did you come to speak to me about?" I asked, taking a seat across from him.

"I was wondering if you knew what your plans were for after school. I'm not trying to get on at you but I had an idea. By the time you finish school you will have a little brother or sister and this place will be carnage. I don't see why you would want to put up with that when you would then be going off to university or college. Therefore, I was going to ask if you wanted to go travelling, all expenses paid."

"Excuse me?" He had to be shitting me. There was no way he just walked in on me and Edward dry humping to then offer me a holiday round the world.

"Does it not interest you?" He looked worried and slightly nervous. Apparently my answer was not what he was expecting.

"Oh no, I'm very interested. Hell, I'd love that! But are you serious? Why would you do that? You don't need to," I gushed, overwhelmed by his generosity.

Now knowing that I liked his offer Carlisle gave me a smile and relaxed himself.

"I am very serious. I want you to go out and enjoy yourself, not be stuck here with a screaming baby around. And I'm aware that I don't need to, but I want to. Bella, you really are a daughter to me. I'm doing the same for my son, it's only right my daughter experiences the same."

At that moment, I was at a loss for words. This man was so kind, so generous and so accepting. He was the best father I had ever had. The others all tried but still, it was obvious they only cared about my mother. Carlisle, loved me for me, not because I was my mother's daughter.

Without thinking about it I was around the desk and hugging him, head on his shoulder, holding back the tears. They weren't sad tears, but rather very happy tears. Knowing I had him, even if things went bad with my mother, was a huge relief.

"Thank you so much," I murmured, not wishing to open my mouth too much in case great sobs broke through.

"Whoa, what did you do to her?" Edward asked, coming in.

Carlisle chuckled and stood up, giving me a proper hug. He then passed me off to Edward and went to tell my mother that I was open to his plans. Edward looked at us confused but Carlisle said he'd tell him later. This seemed to appease him slightly.

"Good tears?" he asked. I just nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling into him. Several minutes later, his hands having wandered a bit, he sighed and pulled back completely. "As much as I love this, unless we want to be caught having sex on Carlisle's desk, I think we should go downstairs."

"Agreed, I don't' really want to give him a flash of my boobs." Edward smirked, eyeing up said body parts and tugged me out the room.

We went downstairs and set ourselves up in the living room. Renee and Carlisle were chatting in the kitchen, looking through baby name books and living in their happy bubble. Rather than interrupt Edward and I went without juice and junk food for the movie that was ahead.

Thirty minutes into it Carlisle and Renee told us they were turning in for the night, allowing Edward and I to stock up on some more food. Snuggling into him, I watched the movie while listening to his heartbeat. It was so soothing, knowing he was there, holding me and that we could still act like a normal couple, even with the parents upstairs.

Knocking at the door some time later broke us from our little love bubble and both of us trekked to the door. I had voted for not answering it but Edward pointed out if we didn't our parents would and they'd be pissed.

Opening the door we found a very angry looking Alice staring at us.

"You fucker," Alice spat at Edward, storming passed us. "What did you do?"

"Good evening to you too," Edward drawled out, gripping my hand and walking us back through to the living room.

"Edward, enough of this bullshit. What did you do?"

I couldn't help but stop and turn round to look at Alice. The desperation in her voice was off the charts. She looked like she was seconds away from breaking down and sobbing on the hallway floor.

Edward clearly picked up on it too as he too turned and took in Alice's state. He licked his lip and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Alice was watching him with bated breath, anxious as hell to hear what he was going to say.

"You don't need to know Alice, it's not important. Just let him nurse his wounds."

"It does matter. He took off!" she cried, waving her arm towards the door.

"He what?" I asked, frowning at her. Jasper would never just up and leave, there had to be more to it.

"He left! The school have him in for a transfer. What did you do?" she asked, tears finally running down her cheeks.

"I did what had to be done," Edward replied, looking unfazed. "It's for the best, Alice, you'll see."

"No it's not! He was our friend, Edward!"

"No! He was _your_ friend! He thought I was a rapist! That is not someone I call a friend. Don't you fucking understand, Alice? Jasper thought Royce and I took turns that night with Rose. He thought I raped her! I never put a fucking finger on the girl but _no_, he fucking _accused_ me of it."

"When?" I whispered, gripping his arm, bewildered by this revelation.

"Two years ago."

"But you didn't know Rose was raped," I pointed out, confused.

"Two years ago, we were arguing about how Royce treated girls and he mentioned something about him forcing himself on this girl, and then said that I knew all about that. I had no fucking idea what he was talking about, or _who_ he was talking about. He asked me straight out if I had ever done that and it was obvious he thought I was lying. I didn't know he thought I had also raped Rose until I found out what had happened to her. Then it all fell into place. He thinks the hostility between us is from that. But fuck I didn't touch her. I've never done anything like that."

"Then why would he think that?" I couldn't wrap my head around it, and from the look of Alice standing shell-shocked a few feet away it didn't look like she could either.

Edward looked visibly tense at my question. He was looking straight at me and it was crystal clear from the look in his eyes that he didn't want to answer. That deer-in-headlights look chilled me to the bone. He was scared, which meant he had something to hide. There was no way he raped Rose though, she would have known, but that didn't mean he didn't have other things to hide.

"Edward, why did he think that you also raped Rose?"

"Cause I was there," he whispered, sighing.

"You were what?"

"I…fuck." Running a hand through his hair, Edward started walking away, Alice and I both following him eagerly.

"Edward, what the fuck do you mean you were there? You watched?" Alice asked, slamming her hands on the kitchen counter as he paced the kitchen floor.

"Of course I didn't fucking watch! I'm not a sick motherfucker. Alice!"

"Well explain, then. 'cause from where I'm sitting it sounds like you watch Rose get raped and did fuck all to help her!" she yelled back at him, not taking any of his shit.

"It wasn't like that at all! I…Royce told me that there was the girl that wanted to hook up with me. I was wasted and didn't think twice about it. He told me to go to one of the bedrooms later on and she'd be there waiting on me. What was I to think? He was my best fucking friend and knew exactly what he was talking about. I had no reason to doubt him."

"So you went to see Rose? Why didn't she tell us?"

"No, I didn't. I went into the wrong bedroom. Royce was on top of this girl and she was moaning but it didn't sound like she was struggling, hell, it looked like she was enjoying it. I didn't know that he was raping her. Yeah, he had a girlfriend, but so what? They all cheated, it was nothing. I didn't know!"

"Why does Jasper think you raped her, then? And are you sure that was Rose?" I asked, looking at my boyfriend with worry. He looked like he was about to be sick.

"Oh, it was Rose. No one has hair like her, and back then it was the best fucking blond hair this country has ever seen. It was her, no doubt about it."

Alice nodded in agreement, a few feet away from me.

"And Jasper?" I prodded, hoping he would just admit what the hell got Jasper thinking that.

"I left the room, turned on as fuck, sweating from the heat and looking drunk off my ass from the booze. I bumped into him outside the door. He took in my appearance and I guess he thought I had gotten laid. It wasn't like that at all. I would never, ever do that."

I patted his shoulder and then pulled him into a hug. My boy looked terrified, and that look was directed at me. He either thought I was going to think him a rapist or a prick for not having mentioned all that sooner. I knew there was bad blood between Edward and Jasper; I just never assumed it would have anything to do with Rose being raped.

Turning back to Alice, to give Edward a chance to calm himself, I asked her how she knew Jasper was transferring.

"My mother knows the Principal's wife. They were meant to come over for dinner tonight but things had to be cancelled so they could put things in motion for Jasper. He's gone back to Texas."

"There's nothing we can do about that Alice," I pointed out, not wanting her to land the guilt on Edward.

"Yeah, not anymore. You could have before, though. The two of you could have got off your high horses and realised what you were doing to him."

"Don't," Edward ground out, glaring at her viciously. "You need to step back, now. You've said your bit, now get out."

"I don't -"

"Alice, just shut the fuck up. You're pissed because the guy you love put another girl before you and then up and left town without telling you. Don't come in here and start blaming us. He was in the wrong, and you know it. So, get your act together and come back to us when you've worked out who has stood by you all the times Jasper ran off with Rose. Face the fact that he doesn't love you, and never will."

"You're wrong," she said defiantly. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. The girl had lost it. "He _does_ love me; he just needed to get Rose out of his system."

"Don't kid yourself, Alice. He's gone. You don't mean anything to him," Edward said, shaking his head.

"No. I'm going to Texas and Jasper and I will sort this out."

"What?" I blurted out. "What are you trying to sort out? Why are you trying to be with a guy who doesn't love you?"

"He does love me; he just needs time."

"Oh my God, are you even listening to yourself?"

"You don't understand," Alice said.

"Damn right I don't."

"Jasper loves me -"

"And what about Garrett?" Edward asked, glaring once more. A tiny bit of guilt washed over her face but it was gone within seconds.

"What about Garrett?"

"He's your boyfriend – how does he feel about you going off after another guy?"

"He doesn't know."

"Are you even going to tell him?" I asked, hating the fact that Alice could be such a bitch.

"Well, no."

"You're fucking unbelievable," Edward growled. "Get the fuck out, now. Go be with a guy who doesn't love you, break the heart of one who does, and we'll clean up the mess after you." Grabbing Alice by the arm, Edward dragged her out the front door and shut it behind her. "I fucking hate her." He stormed past me, phone now in hand and jogged up the stairs.

It didn't surprise me twenty minutes later when Garrett walked in, looking confused. I had settled myself back in the living room and just told him to head on up to Edward's room. When he came down thirty minutes later he looked sick. He had really loved her and she'd smashed his heart to pieces.

"I'm so sorry, Garrett," I said, getting up to hug him.

"No worries, guess it wasn't meant to be." He was playing the whole thing off as nothing but it was so obvious he was hurting. "I should get going, nice seeing you."

"Jasper and Alice are perfect for each other," I said, hearing Edward come up behind me. "They're both complete fuckers set out to destroy the lives of others."

Wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on my shoulder, Edward kissed my neck. "Forget about them, we can kick their asses when they get back. Bed?"

Nodding, I shut off the lights and the TV. Edward locked the doors and set the alarm then we both walked hand in hand up the stairs.

We had made it over one hurdle together; now we just had to deal with Renee and the baby. Something told me that the next hurdle was going to be a much bigger bitch than the one we had just made it over. Heaven help us, were we never going to get a moment of peace?

Edward's cell phone ringing told me the answer to that: no, we weren't.

"I'll be right there," he said, sounding really anxious.

"Who was it?" I asked, lazily pulling off my clothes.

"Tanya." My eyes met his, not expecting him to say that name. "She's been raped."

And just like that, things were crazy again. Fuck.

* * *

A.N.

Just thought I'd point out, I don't condone violence. Issues can be solved without it and should be handled in a calm and productive manner. Thank you!

Oh yeah, this update means I'm back! My health is manageable and you should start getting more updates.

If you don't know what a git is, Beate73 says you are to look it up on Google. :D

Rachelcullen77 (who I love dearly) gave me the name for the chapter, which I think was bloody fitting. Major thanks to her!

Huge thanks to my amazing beta MrsKatyCullen for fixing it up nice. Cheers!


	27. Chapter 26: My Rocks

It seems I confused many of you last chapter by mentioning Tanya. Oops! Sorry about that. I mentioned her in Edward's version of this story, My Guilty Pleasure, and completely forgot Bella had not encountered her.

This is Edward's views on her: _Leah, Tanya and Victoria where not sluts but had always been viewed that way. Due to this they found friendship in each other and battled through the regular lies and pitfalls set up about or for them daily. They reminded me of Rosalie in a way but rather than fight with them we all got on well._ _Tanya gained her slutty reputation from getting lost and confused with one of Royce's older friends. She fell for the typical lines and lies of a true player and was used then spat out. The rest of the male population regarded her as damaged goods but that didn't stop them coming round for a good time, much to her distaste._

He's rather protective of her and she's his friend, hence why he got that phone call. Anyway, yes, sorry about the confusion. I tend to get ahead of myself sometimes.

Last chapter I said I was back, there would be more updates, and clearly there hasn't been. Well, I had appendicitis, recovered from that, readmitted to hospital for septicaemia, recovered from that, then was fighting a bacteria in my blood, and now my illness is causing havoc so please cut me a little slack when it comes to the updates. I do try.

Right, well, I've held you up long enough. Hope you enjoy this chapter. See you at the end.

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Twenty Six: My Rocks  
**

_"Jasper and Alice are perfect for each other," I said, hearing Edward come up behind me. "They're both complete fuckers set out to destroy the lives of others."_

_Wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on my shoulder, Edward kissed my neck. "Forget about them, we can kick their asses when they get back. Bed?"_

_Nodding, I shut off the lights and the TV. Edward locked the doors and set the alarm then we both walked hand in hand up the stairs._

_We had made it over one hurdle together; now we just had to deal with Renee and the baby. Something told me that the next hurdle was going to be a much bigger bitch than the one we had just made it over. Heaven help us, were we never going to get a moment of peace?_

_Edward's cell phone ringing told me the answer to that: no, we weren't._

_"I'll be right there," he said, sounding really anxious._

_"Who was it?" I asked, lazily pulling off my clothes._

_"Tanya." My eyes met his, not expecting him to say that name. "She's been raped."_

_And just like that, things were crazy again. Fuck._

"Tanya, your friend, Tanya?" I asked, taking in Edward's reaction.

"Yeah." He was gathering his keys and wallet, throwing his jacket over his arm and heading for the door. "I need to go…she needs me," he said, looking completely lost with himself.

"Go, I understand."

And he did just that, quietly shutting the door behind him.

I stood half-naked and looked at the bed before me. It had been so inviting moments ago, but now, I wasn't really that tired. Hell, how could I be? My boyfriend just ran on out of here to attend to a girl who had been raped. That was just fucking crazy shit.

I didn't know what to do with myself. It felt like I should do something to help out but from the looks of things I was not to go along. Was I just to wait here for Edward's return, and then try to help? Or was I not to help at all? How could I even help? It's not like I knew a single thing about this. A trauma like that wasn't just something I could blindly offer support for. The only people who knew how to handle a situation like this were Jasper and Rose. Jasper, having ran for it, was no use, but Rose at least could help.

Grabbing my phone, I called her up, hoping that she was still awake. Thankfully, from the tone of her voice on the other end it didn't sound like she wanted to kill me.

"What can I do for you?"

"Rose, something has happened and I think the girl is going to need someone to talk to," I blurted out, immediately putting Rose on edge.

"What's happened?"

"Are you alone right now?" I asked, not wanting to scare the crap out of her when I did finally tell her what had happened.

"No, Emmett's here." Thank fuck. "Now tell me, Swan, or I swear to god I will bitch-slap you into next week."

"A girl has been raped."

I heard her breathing change drastically.

"Who?" she whispered, sounding so vulnerable.

"Tanya."

"I'm coming over, and so is Emmett." With that, she hung up.

I threw on a few more items of clothing so I was at least decent for their arrival and quietly headed back downstairs. Turning on the lights as I went I settled myself into the living room, wondering if I was ever going to get any sleep, and patiently waited until I could hear Rose's car pull up.

Rather than let them knock on the door or ring the bell, I got up and opened the door when their car pulled up. Emmett was driving, and Rose looked a complete mess. The two of them gave me sad looks as we made ourselves comfortable in the living room and no one said anything.

Rose, eventually, was the first one to break the silence.

"Who's with her?"

"Edward went, but other than that I don't know."

Nodding, Rose said, "That's good, she'll need her friends. Do you know if she's at a hospital?"

"No, I don't have a clue."

"They need to get the bastard," Emmett growled, cracking his knuckles. "It's sick."

"I need to help her," Rose whispered, staring into space. She was so off it was scary. It was as if the lights were on but no one was home, our old Rose was nowhere in sight.

"That's why I called you; you were the only person I thought could help her best."

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "I would have hated to find this out tomorrow. God, I need to speak to Tanya." Her tone was full of exasperation and she was running her hand through her hair, practically tugging at the roots.

"You could try calling Edward but I don't know if he'd-"

"Rose, I know you want to help, but maybe you should take a step back from this," Emmett said, cutting me off. He was looking at her with worry.

"What?" Rose was completely shocked he would even suggest such a thing.

"Darling, you're falling apart just hearing about what's happened. This is hurting you, and I don't want to see you take ten steps back because of this." I could see Emmett's viewpoint but from the look on Rose's face it was the worst thing to possibly say.

"Because of this? Because of this? A girl has been raped, Emmett! Tanya has been raped! You remember her, don't you? Lovely girl who got dicked on one too many times? She never hurt no one and this is what she gets? It's fucking ridiculous. I don't care how much this 'hurts' me, I'm going to help her, even if I have to hold her hand while she tells the cops what that sicko did, I will be there for her." Standing up quickly, Rose stormed from the room and went into the kitchen.

How Renee and Carlisle were still asleep after all the yelling that had been going on that evening was beyond me. First Alice and Edward, now Rose. Who was it going to be next?

"I understand why you said that, and I'm sure she will calm down eventually," I told Emmett, giving him a soft smile.

"I know, she's just upset. I don't take it to heart. I just worry about her. She acts so strong but this, it's shaken her to her core and I'm scared what it'll do." His sadness was so painful to see.

Trying to distract him, I told Emmett what happened with Alice earlier. It worked for a bit but it was clear he was more concerned about Rose than Alice was and her crazy idea to chase Jasper all the way to Texas.

Rose walked back into the room after a few minutes, avoiding Emmett's watchful look completely.

"I called Edward; I'm going to meet him at the hospital. Tanya has agreed to press charges against the monster who did this."

Well, that was good news. At least the creep wouldn't be able to do it again, if he was caught and prosecuted that is.

"You want me to drive?" Emmett asked, standing up and looking so hopeful.

"No, I can drive myself, thanks." Rose turned to me and bit her lip. "Can I borrow your truck?"

Emmett's face crumbled and he sat back down. Poor boy, my heart went out to him. Therefore, I didn't make the situation any worse I nodded and fetched my keys for her. Rose gave me a quick hug goodbye and left, not even glancing in at Emmett.

"I've fucked up," he mumbled as I walked back in the room.

"You haven't, she's just in too much pain to deal with your love for her."

I sat myself down next to him and wrapped my arms around him. Emmett leant into my hug and the two of us sat on the couch in silence, both lost in our thoughts. We were practically snuggling into one another, needing to know that at least there was one person around who hadn't left.

That night, instead of him sleeping in the spare bedroom and I going to my bed we snoozed on the couch, cuddled up together. There was nothing intimate about it, just two friends needing the other. Emmett was like my rock, and that night I was pretty sure I was him.

The following day brought nothing but drama, as always.

Emmett and I awoke to the sounds of pans bashing together and the smoke alarm going off. The two of us ended up rolling off the couch in pure fright. Thankfully, for me, Emmett took the brunt of the fall and I ended up laying on top of him, completely unhurt.

"Sorry," I mumbled, crawling off of him and helping him up.

"No problem," he muttered, stretching his arms and yawning.

While he woke up fully I went in search of all the noise. Upon entering the kitchen I was met with a familiar scene, the only thing that was different was the stepfather. Renee was on the floor, attempting to clean up a pan she had dropped, there was smoke coming off the food in the pans on the cooker, and Carlisle was trying to turn off the smoke detector.

"I thought we made a deal that you were never to cook?" I asked, yawning and fetching a broom for Carlisle so he could hit the button to make the noise stop.

"I thought you and Emmett could do with some proper food in your stomachs," she explained, giving me a frazzled look as she yelled over the noise.

"Why don't you let me fix us all some food," I suggested, moving past her and salvaging the scrambled eggs before they burnt beyond salvation.

"Good idea," Carlisle said, having successfully turned off the noise. He and Emmett, who had come in to help, opened all the windows and began fanning the smoke out.

"Never a dull moment in this household," he observed, smiling brightly.

And how true he was. If it wasn't a small dilemma like the one we were currently handling then it was something major. To be perfectly honest, I was done with it all. I just wanted to spend the rest of my year drama free and with my boy. I didn't want to have to worry about Alice, Jasper, Rose, the other students, Renee's pregnancy, or her finding out about Edward and I. I just wanted peace.

Having managed to save the breakfast Renee was killing we all sat down at the table to enjoy the meal. Emmett kept Carlisle and Renee amused with his natural charm while I sat quietly, laughing where I was supposed to, smiling when I was meant to, but not really listening. My mind was too clogged up with what Edward was up to.

Was I even going to see him today?

Trying not to be needy, I pushed him to the back of my mind, or I tried at least. I just couldn't stop thinking about him and it was driving me crazy. The boy was in every thought and it was becoming too much.

Yes, I wanted to know what he was up to. Yes, I wanted to know how he was. No, I did not want to call him and ask. I was not going to be one of _those _pathetic girlfriends who constantly have to know what their beau is up to.

After breakfast, Emmett and I decided to get out the house. We took his car and drove out to a cute little diner that served the best milkshakes ever. Sitting there, we relaxed, put all the drama to the side and just had fun. Rather than get bogged down in heavy conversation we kept it light and I had a great time, feeling as though the world was not going to blow up in my face any moment.

Emmett had a special place in my heart; he truly was an amazing friend.

"So, now what?" he asked once we were back in his car.

"I want to do something crazy, something exhilarating."

His grin grew with each word I spoke.

"I know just the thing."

Leaving the diner behind, he drove us to the cliffs, overlooking the beaches. We parked as close as we could and then walked the rest of the trail until we were at the edges, looking down at the cold water crashing into the cliff edge.

"Cliff jumping, that exhilarating enough for you?" I laughed and nodded, eager to just let loose.

Seeing as neither of us had swimsuits we made due with jumping in our underwear. It was a little weird to get undressed with Emmett but once I looked out over the edge I was filled with excitement instead.

"Okay Swan, on the count of three," Emmett told me.

The wind was whipping at our faces and we stood at the edge. He was clad in only his boxers and along his body there were scars, a reminder of his violent past. Although I had no scars to show my past it felt like all my problems were on show to the world, and diving into the water below was going to cleanse me somehow.

I couldn't wait.

"On three," I repeated, freezing my ass off.

"Three!" he yelled, pointing at me.

"Two!"

"One!"

And just like that, we leapt over the edge.

Falling through the air was so peaceful. It felt like the world had stopped in time, suspended for that very moment, and then it was brought back to life with the cold plunge into the water. I could see Emmett in the water, surrounded by bubbles and then him swim up to the top.

The water was the coldest I had ever known it to be and we were probably both going to catch our death if we stayed in it too long, but I didn't care. The feeling of just losing all control like that was unbelievable. I was free from everything, and my fate was in the hand of the waves and water below. I loved every second of it.

Coming to the top, I took a deep breath of air and grinned at Emmett. He was smiling right back at me, treading water while he waited on me.

"That was fan-fucking-tastic!" I yelled, grinning wildly.

Emmett just laughed and nodded before pointing to shore. We raced back to the beach, no longer feeling the cold, and not giving a damn if we both got hypothermia. Emmett won, of course, and celebrated by doing a victory dance along the sand. He was like a young boy, wild at heart, and not bothering in the least that his boxers clung to him like a second skin or that with the wind hitting us we did actually risk getting seriously ill.

"Come on Swan, let's get back to the car and warmed up. Climb on." Kneeling down he let me climb on his back and gave me a piggyback ride all the way up the trail.

Emmett's feet had to have been cut along the way and he must have been so cold but not once did he complain. He was ridiculously upbeat and it was as though the two of us had been injected with energy after that jump.

"Please can we make this a monthly tradition?" I begged, holding on to him tighter. Whatever body heat he had, I was clinging to it.

"Of course," he replied, laughing. "But I think Edward might kill me when he finds out we did this."

"Why's that?"

"Rookies, like yourself, aren't meant to jump from this height. You could have been swept out to sea if you weren't careful, got caught in the current."

I gave him a squeeze and laughed. "That can be our little secret, just tell him I jumped from a lower one."

Laughing he shook his head. "Whatever you say, but if I get in trouble I'm blaming you."

Arriving at the car Emmett immediately popped me in the front seat and turned the car on. He put the heaters on full blast and shut the door, leaving me inside. I watched, shivering uncontrollably, as he gathered our clothes, which were in a pile by the trees. The guy was a saint.

Together we sat in the car for a good twenty minutes warming up before putting back on our clothes. After that, we had to head home as the damp underwear was making both of us feel a chill.

"I have to say, that was one of the best experiences I've ever had," I admitted as we pulled up at the house.

"Me too." He gave me his classic grin, dimples and all, and then escorted me inside before heading home to get changed.

I loved Emmett, not in a sexual way, in a brotherly way. He was definitely the big brother I never had and I sincerely hoped that I would never lose him. He was too precious.

Heading inside I went straight upstairs and took a warm shower, washing away all the sea salt and sand. I dried myself thoroughly afterwards and then blow-dried my hair so I didn't catch a chill. Feeling completely refreshed and alive I hummed a little tune all the way back to my room, only to have it cut short by finding three people already in there.

"Eh…hi," I said, glancing from Rose to Edward and then finally to the third girl in a room, who I assumed was Tanya.

I had wanted to meet the girl but ideally, I thought I would have been dressed when I did so. Standing there in a towel made me feel like an idiot. Damn Edward for just taking up camp in my room without even a second thought.

"Hey," he said, coming over and giving me a hug. "Do you want us to come back?"

I bit back my sarcastic answer and nodded. "Just give me five minutes."

"We'll be in my room, come and see us when you're dressed."

Edward opened the door and ushered Rose and Tanya out, who was clinging to Rose as if she was her lifeline. It was so odd to see someone that close to Rose, usually she was such a bitch to anyone that touched her.

Having the privacy to dress I picked out an outfit fast and quickly scrambled it on. I looked a little dishevelled but I didn't want to keep the others waiting. My relaxed mood from earlier was totally gone and I was back to being a bag of nerves.

Edward filled me in immediately when I went to his room, all the while Rose and Tanya were both looking off into space, trying to avoid listening to what he was saying. He told me how Tanya was going to press charges, how she had scratched him when trying to fight him off and it was taken when they went to the hospital, along with any other DNA he had left behind, and that Tanya was going to be staying with Rose for a while.

From what I had gathered from his shady details, Tanya was home alone when it happened. Someone broke into her house and attacked her. They didn't take anything, just had their way with her, and it was vicious, that much I could see by looking at her.

She was a beautiful girl; it was just marred by the bruising on her face. She was wearing a big jumper and jeans so I couldn't see any more bruises but there were cuts on her hands too. Rose was consoling her like a mother would her child and it was a shock to see Rose act so caring.

"So yeah…that's what's happened," Edward finished, sighing.

I didn't know what to say. I mean, what did you say in that situation? I was at a complete loss.

"I wish I had pressed charges," Rose whispered, tears falling down her cheeks.

"It's not too late," Edward said, going over to comfort her.

"It has to be, it's been four years."

"You could still report it, hell you were a child at the time Rose, that has to count for something," he stressed, looking so sad.

"You should take Edward's advice," Tanya spoke, her voice sounding rough and painful to hear. "If it wasn't for him I would never have pressed charges." Rose looked at Tanya, biting her lip as she fought back the tears and nodded.

"I want to, but I fear it's too late and it won't make a difference."

"Did you ever file a police report?" I asked, my voice breaking the intimate moment they were having. The way they all jumped at the sound of my voice, it seemed like they had totally forgotten I was there.

"Jasper insisted that I did, in Seattle. But I told the officers that I would drop the charges if they ever took it to trial, and I didn't tell them the name of my attacker."

"But they took DNA and all that jazz?" Rose nodded, swallowing nervously.

Walking over I took a seat at Edward's desk and booted up his computer. I knew nothing of the Statute of Limitations but surely, if the crime was reported you had time to then press charges later if you changed your mind.

"What are you thinking, Bella?" Edward asked, frowning at me.

"It might not be too late. Hell, Jasper making you file that report might have been one of the best things he's ever done."

Loading up the internet I typed in "Statute of Limitation: Washington" and got a million results telling me what the statute of limitation was and where I could find a lawyer in Washington. Narrowing down the results further, I eventually found the information I was looking for.

"Rose, you could possibly have ten years to prosecute," I replied, spinning the chair to look at her.

"Ten?"

"Yeah. You reported it in the first year so you could have ten years. Obviously, it may be different, but from what I'm reading here, it says the statute of limitations is ten years."

"I can still press charges?"

"Yes," Edward answered, taking her hand. I had never seen any physical contact between the two of them, it was scary. "And we will all be here for you if you do."

Rose looked up to the ceiling, trying to fight back the tears and leant into Tanya. Edward didn't let go of her hand, instead gave it a squeeze and stayed put. Seeing him like that, so caring, for Rose, was just weird. Their usual offensive and aggressive banter was nowhere to be seen and I wondered what had transpired while they were both tending to Tanya.

"I guess I better tell my parents I'm finally ready to press charges," Rose said, nodding more to herself than to us.

"We can do this," Tanya croaked out, giving her a sad smile. "Together."

Edward moved away from the two of them and came to stand by me. He leant against the desk and reached for my hand, taking it in his. I looked up at him in to see my boy looking back, giving me one of those killer smirks. God I loved him.

Rose and Tanya both had each other, to battle through the hardships of facing their rapists in court, recounting their tales and trying to get justice. Although I had nothing as serious as that to face I knew that I had Edward there to hold my hand and be there for me.

We both were going to have to deal with Renee's pregnancy soon enough, she was already showing and experiencing symptoms but eventually they would be picking out names and buying things. That was not going to be easy, especially since this new baby was going to be a sibling to both of us. It was weird and it was going to make our relationship that much harder, particularly if Renee ever found out.

For now, I was just going to stand by my friends and be there for them. If Rose ever needed me all she had to do was call and I would come running. The demons she was about to face could not be faced alone, so I was going to be there for her. The same went for Tanya, despite not knowing her so well, I would help her in any way I could.

As someone once said: Fake friends are like your shadow; they follow you in the sun, but leave your side when it gets dark. Rose, having been there for me when I needed someone, was not going to lose me when she needed help the most.

If there is one thing I always believed in, it was taking care of your friends.

* * *

A.N.

Thanks to my beta MrsKatyCullen for looking this over.


	28. Chapter 27: It's Weird

Just a quick recap of last chapter, because hell, if I couldn't remember then how could I expect any of you to? Anyway: Rose and Edward tended to Tanya after her attack, Emmett and Bella went cliff-diving, and Rose finally decided to press charges against her attacker.

**My Secret Sin**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: It's Weird**

The weeks following that day in Edward's bedroom were a blur, for everyone. Tanya and Rose were both going through the process of healing, Tanya from her attack and Rose from having to press charges against her attacker. Sadly, Emmett was still in the doghouse with Rose, despite the fact she needed him now more than ever. No matter how many times we spoke to her about him, she'd shut us down.

"I'm not ready to talk to him yet," she would say, and that would be it; subject dropped.

Edward and I tried to be there for her as much as possible, but it was hard. Every time she would get upset, I practically had to drag Edward into the house so he didn't go off and try to kick Royce's ass. Emmett and him had googled the guy and knew exactly where he lived and where he worked. They wanted revenge. If it wasn't for some sexual promises and threats, Royce would have been in a body bag by now. As much as I wanted him to suffer, we had to do it the legal way.

Rose was a complete trooper, getting through countless questions and interrogations about what happened that night and why she hadn't pressed charges sooner. The Seattle office she did report her rape to had DNA, her testimony, Jasper's statement, along with clothing fibres, photos and medical reports detailing the full extent of her injuries. It looked likely that they would press charges and arrest Royce, sooner rather than later.

Once her case was reopened, and word spread around school, other girls started coming forward. They didn't go to the police, but to Rose. As much as she tried, she could only convince a few of them to go to the police, and even then, there was a lot of backtracking and changing of minds at the last minute. No one was really willing to stand up and face what had happened to them.

Tanya was invaluable to the girls, as well, and her and Rose were inseparable. Tanya had moved into Rose's house after what had happened, and she was practically one of the family. With their bond growing stronger as the weeks went on, Edward and I could finally take a step back.

Our relationship had pretty much been on hold since that night, through no fault of our own. We either were so knackered we went to bed early, or one of us was out comforting Rose and Tanya. A few chaste kisses here and there was all we had in regards to intimacy, and it was pitiful. Hell, we slept on the same floor, two walls between us, and yet there was nothing going on.

I wasn't concerned, but I did miss my boy, and I wanted us to go back to the constant touches and kisses. I was feeling cut off from him, and it just wasn't right. Whether he felt the same, I didn't know. Our time together was either spent talking about Rose's case or if anyone had heard anything from Jasper and Alice.

No one had.

With Alice's departure, our group was missing a member, but that didn't last long. Garret integrated quite nicely into her spot, and completed us off. After Alice's harsh break up with him, done by Edward, we weren't just going to pretend we didn't know him. Emmett and Rose insisted, separately, that he join us at lunch, or that he come over at the weekends; and gradually he just became one of us.

The only downside to Garrett hanging out with us, I felt like the new girl again. It wasn't intentional, but they all new so much about one another, and I hardly knew anything. They would have entire conversations about people I'd never heard of or places I'd never been, and it felt like I was, once again, the poor kid amongst the rich kids, not good enough to be there.

Edward would notice, of course he did, and the conversation would quickly change to something I could talk about. It was sweet of him to include me like that, but it shouldn't have been needed. With that came doubts; doubts about us, our relationship, and why he was with me. He always had to settle for less, make more of an effort for me, and it shouldn't have been like that. If it was to happen, it should only have been once, not continuous.

That's what had just happened, as we all sat round Rose's living room. Tanya and Garrett were cuddled up on one couch, Emmett had taken to the floor, Rose was snuggled up in one of the chairs, and Edward and I were sharing the loveseat. They had been talking about their old classmates, none that I knew of, and all the gossip tied to them.

While most of it had been funny to hear, it was another reminder that I had only just met these people. Yes, we were friends, but six months ago, we were complete strangers. I didn't know a huge deal about them, and many things were still a mystery. The same could be said for them in regards to me, but seeing as they weren't reminded of that fact daily, it didn't bother them.

Excusing myself to get a drink, I headed into the kitchen. I really just needed to get my head together. I was being stupid, completely and utterly stupid, but that stupidity was making sense. There was one, stupid, question that I couldn't shake, and it would resurface every time they took a trip down memory lane; did they only befriend me because I lived with Edward?

Walking over to the sink, I tried to clear my head. It wasn't helping anyone to ask questions like that, so I wasn't going to. No one had noticed my peculiar behaviour, so I refused to make a big deal of it. Filling up my glass with water, I took a sip and shut my eyes, enjoying the calm.

"You keep running away," Edward remarked, coming up behind me. He put his arms round my waist and nuzzled into my neck, kissing my skin softly. "What's wrong?"

I turned in his arms and shrugged. "I'm just being silly." He didn't buy it.

"No, come on. Talk to me. What's going on up there?" he asked, taping the side of my head. "You've been ridiculously quiet recently, and you always find a reason to leave them room when we're hanging out." So much for no one noticing. "Do you not like Garrett or something? I thought the two of you got on."

"No, I do. He's a great guy," I rushed to explain, not wanting him to think I hated one of our friends. "It's not him, I promise. I'm just thinking about a few things, and it's messing with my head," I replied, dropping my eyes to his chest.

"What are they?" he asked, moving his head so he could see my eyes. "You can tell me, I won't get mad," he joked, trying to ease the situation.

Before I could help myself, the question was out of my mouth, stunning him into silence. "Are you only with me because I live with you?"

"What?" Edward looked completely bewildered, while I chewed my lip anxiously.

"Are you dating me because I'm convenient? That's what I want to know."

"What the hell made you think that?" He deflected, which meant maybe there was something behind my worries.

"You're all amazing friends, and I'm practically a stranger. If I didn't live with you, then none of them would have been friends with me, and you certainly wouldn't have looked my way. So, I'll ask again, are you with me because I'm convenient?"

"No, Bella, I'm not with you because you're convenient. Every girl in the school is convenient. You're actually very inconvenient," he replied, shaking his head. I frowned and waited for him to explain. "At first, I wanted to rile with you and send the message that you'd never be part of the family. I tried to fuck you about, and, well, you say how good that turned out. After that, things changed. You're the last person I should even think about having a relationship with, but yet I find myself drawn to you. Are you convenient? Yeah, you live across the hall. Is our relationship convenient? Hell no." He took my face in his hands and kissed me softly, before wrapping me up in a hug.

"You silly girl," he muttered, shaking his head.

"Thank you," I mumbled, feeling rather embarrassed with myself.

"Don't mention it." He gave me one of his lazy smiles and nodded. "So are we good?"

"Sort of," I replied, biting my lip again. He rose his eyebrows in question and gave my hands a squeeze, egging me on. "What about them? Are they friends with me just because of you?"

Edward chuckled and shook his head. "You're being silly again. Do you honestly think that Rose would be friends with someone because of me? Really?" I smiled and shook my head. That was a definite no. "And as I recall, the others sought you out. I didn't force them to speak to you. They made their own minds up on you. Don't doubt this, Bella. We really do all like you."

I hugged him and nodded, feeling embarrassed for having brought it up. We had been a completely solid couple, and it felt like nothing could break us. Things would test us, yes, but not break us. We made it through Esme and Randall, Carlisle finding out about our relationship, Jasper and Alice's fuckery, so a simple reshuffle of our friends wasn't going to be the straw that broke the camel's back. No way.

"Sorry," I mumbled, kissing his cheek. Edward shrugged and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"We all have moments like that, so forget about it." Edward leant in and kissed me softly, his lips moving slowly against my own, and then we were interrupted.

"Are you two done fucking in there? I'd like to get something to eat but I don't want to see Edward's hairy ass!" Emmett yelled, laughing as he peeked round the door.

"If you're screwing on my kitchen counters, I'll cut your balls off, Edward Cullen!" Rose cried, her footsteps marching towards us.

Edward rolled his eyes and untangled himself from me, just in time for Rose to come through the door. She narrowed her eyes at the both of us and then took a good look around the room, trying to spot anything out of place.

"Rose, we didn't have sex, your worktops are safe," I said, giving her a small smile.

Emmett celebrated his wind-up as he grabbed food out the fridge, winking at me as he did so. The boy just liked to stir things up, and Rose and Edward always took the bait. It was actually comforting when they screamed abuse at one another. On the days they didn't, it was just scary.

"Good. I should have known you wouldn't, anyway. Edward still not able to?" she asked, looking all concerned. "It must be hard, or not hard as the case may be, with it being that small."

"Hey! I do not have any problems! And I'm not small! I thought we covered that already!" Edward protested, waving his hands around. "But if you need me to refresh your memory then I will!"

I rolled my eyes at his theatrics and glanced over to Rose. She was smirking, very pleased with herself.

"No thank you. If anything, you showing us would prove my point." Edward went to protest but I shushed him wish a shake of my head.

"You're rising to her bait." He closed his mouth and pursed his lips, not pleased with himself.

"She's questioning my manhood."

"Let her question. As long as I'm not complaining, you have nothing to worry about." He smirked and nuzzled into my shoulder, coming close to my ear.

"If I recall correctly, you do complain, but not about how small-"

"Oi! Enough of that!" Rose shouted, snapping her fingers. "I do not want to know about your twisted sex life." Now it was Edward's turn to grin in triumph.

"Hey, where's Tanya and Garrett?" I asked, glancing round the room. I had just assumed they would have joined us in the kitchen.

Edward and Rose shared common smirks, which definitely meant something was going on if those two were in cahoots about it. Emmett looked at me lost, clearly as confused as I was.

"They're next door, still talking," Rose answered, her smirk still in place.

"And you're so pleased about that because?" Em asked, frowning.

"We think they like each other, though neither of them will admit it," Edward confessed, grinning.

"You came to this conclusion, how? They've been friends for years, so what makes you think things have changed now?"

"Just the way they act around one another. It's like foreplay before the sex, though in this case the sex is a relationship."

"And you don't think it's too soon for them to be jumping into this?" I asked, chewing my lip. It really didn't sound like that great an idea, to rebound from a bad breakup and a serious trauma by getting with your close friend.

"Tanya wouldn't be so smitten with him if she wasn't willing to explore her feelings for him. Hell, I'm just pleased she's willing to see that all guys aren't scum. It took me three years to reach that conclusion," Rose admitted, shrugging. "This is her call, but if he doesn't ask her out soon, she'll ask him out."

"He'll ask her out soon, definitely," Edward added, nodding fervently.

"Care to wager on that?" Emmett asked, smiling at us him.

"What is with you all and making bets? Is the world not exciting enough already?" I asked, looking at them as they started discussing terms.

The lot of them were ridiculous. They had bet on when Carlisle and Renee would split up, which Emmett had won, they'd bet on what Jasper and Alice were fighting about, which Rose had won, and had made bets countless other times about silly little things.

"It's what us rich kids do," Edward joked, smirking at me as he pulled out his wallet.

"Now are you sure you can afford this, cause you've not won in a while," Rose said seriously, looking at Edward. His smirk fell off his face fast, and he was glowering.

"Of course I can! I may not have won recently, but I've just been biding my time. You just wait and see, I'll clean you all out." His cocky attitude was back in force, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

Even after all this time, I still didn't understand them completely. They were cruel to one another, but fiercely loyal, they would gamble on each other's lives but keep it private so they didn't hurt one another, and they would plot and scheme behind one another's backs, claiming it was for their own good.

They collected the money and gave it to Em to keep until Garrett or Tanya made their move. I was just relieved they hadn't given it to me to keep, like last time. The lot of them agreed that there wasn't allowed to be any pressuring conversations with Garrett or Tanya, they had to make their own minds up. After all, it wouldn't be fair to either of them if they were manipulated into a relationship they didn't want to be a part of.

Returning to the living room, we all eyed the pair up carefully. They were still sitting close, but not close enough to suggest things had moved from friends to more than friends while we had been in the kitchen, much to the other's displeasure.

Sitting back down, Emmett settled into his food while everyone else struck up conversation again. I snuggled into Edward and just listened to his heartbeat, thankful that we could be ourselves. After much deliberation from the room, we all settled on a movie to watch, and just continued to have another lazy day.

It was comforting, to be free of worries and calm. There wasn't going to be someone running through the door shouting abuse at us, and there wasn't going to be someone trying to pull some holier-than-thou bullshit in school. We could just take it easy, and although things were tense for Tanya and Rose given their current situation, at that point it seemed like we were all perfectly normal. We did all have our own share of baggage, but for once, it wasn't ruling our lives.

Only after the movie had finished, and several rounds of Kinect Sports, did we finally peel ourselves away from Rose's house and head home. It had been a good day, and some of my worries had been laid to rest. All I wanted to do was go home and spend some time with my boy. Yes, we had just spent the whole day together, but I wanted some alone time.

I hugged Tanya and Rose goodbye, before saying night to the guys. Garrett gave me a semi-awkward hug, it looked like I wasn't the only one who didn't quite know how to act around the other, and then Emmett pulled me in for a big bear hug.

"Drive safe, Eddie! I don't want anything happening to my girl!" Emmett called, grinning mischievously as he headed to his Jeep.

"Your girl?" My boyfriend shot me an amused look. "You not telling me something, darling?"

"Shut up and open the car," I pouted, freezing my ass off. Chuckling, Edward opened up and turned back to Em.

"I'll have words with you tomorrow!" he called, smiling at his best friend. Emmett nodded and gave him the thumbs up, before jumping in his Jeep and speeding off out of there.

Thankfully, Edward wasn't reading anything else into Emmett's words. There wasn't anything behind his comment, other than the fact we had become very close friends, but that was it. The whole cliff-diving thing brought us closer, and it felt good to have a friend I could really count on.

Sliding into Edward's car, I kicked off my shoes and sat with my feet on the seat. The first time I did this, he shot me a pointed look, but after much convincing on my part, he stopped caring. His precious leather seats were not going to be damaged, so he could just chill.

"Do you think we'll get the Spanish Inquisition when we get back?" he asked, driving away from Rose's.

"No, they're too caught up in their own little world to even notice us coming and going," I replied, watching the trees fly past outside the window.

"True point. I'm positive we could shag on the kitchen table over Sunday brunch and they'd still be oblivious." I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"Somehow, I think they'd notice that, maybe just a little." Edward cracked a smile and nodded.

"We should at least find out, huh?" He raised his eyebrows and gave me his classic smirk.

"Save it, we're not having risky sex. We can't afford to." Edward bit his lip and nodded.

We both knew that we had to be more careful, even if we didn't want to. Our soon to be sibling was still a pawn in what was surely an elaborate chess game taking place between Carlisle and Renee. While they both acted madly in love with one another, there was an undercurrent of distrust.

Speaking of my mother, her baby bump was out in full force, and it was making me sick. Her abdomen had just exploded outward, getting bigger each day. It was a horrible reminder that she was in fact carrying Edward's and my half-sibling. Once that baby was born, reality was really going to sink in fast. Yes, we knew that we were doing something wrong, but it wasn't something we had to think about. He never had to play the brother role and I didn't have to play the sister role. With this baby, that was all going to change, and I was dreading it.

Carlisle was getting more and more excited each day, his eyes alight with joy. Just seeing him like that cemented the fact Edward and I couldn't let Renee find out about us. Not only would it put too much stress on her, but she would also drive a wedge between Carlisle and his unborn baby. I still didn't know if she would take the baby from him, and never let him see it, but I didn't want to risk that happening at all. Carlisle's happiness depended on Edward and I being stealthy about our relationship, and for a change, we took that seriously.

Doors were locked, sex was not had, and there were no more discreet touches under tables or behind backs. We sort of fell into the roles we would have if we hadn't got together. It was ridiculously weird, but then we would go to Emmett's or Rose's and it would all change. At home we had to keep our distance, at our friends we were touching at all times. Thankfully, they didn't mind. Rose would occasionally shoot us a dirty look, but that was it. Blissful times were had, I just wished we didn't have to be so secret about it.

As Renee's bump grew bigger, Carlisle and her started buying baby things, and redecorating one of the rooms. They had spoken of it before, and even gone to look at furniture, but it was weird seeing the crib actually come into the house.

When they found out the sex of the baby, a boy, things became so real, Edward and I were knocked into touch. We couldn't help but look at each other differently, and think twice before attempting to have sex. I say attempting because we just couldn't go through with it. This baby, our soon to be brother, was a complete mood killer.

Arriving home, we headed straight upstairs and ignored the cuddling couple on the couch. They just weren't worth our time and effort anymore. Edward led me into his room and sat me down on the bed, coming in for a kiss.

The door was locked, and we were basically alone. Carlisle and Renee weren't going to bother us. They never did. Sex on the kitchen table was out, but sex in our bedrooms, well, that was different. I was sex starved. Seriously.

We had tried and failed, but this time, I really wanted to reach the finishing line. So, grabbing hold of his neck, I pulled Edward to me and kissed him fiercely. His body fell onto of mine, and I grinding into him with complete abandon. He knew what I wanted, he had to, but yet he was slowing us down. His kisses would pepper my face and neck, and his hips would remain motionless. It was not what I had in mind at all.

"Please," I moaned, tugging at his hair while I scraped my teeth alone his neck. He groaned but shook his head, and I knew then that my plan was a complete loss. He was a stubborn bastard when he wanted to be, so no sex would be had tonight.

"We can't…I just can't."

Dropping back, I shoved him off me and crawled up to the pillows, to lie down properly. I was huffing, very mature, I know, but still. We were dating, I liked sex, what was so hard? Or not hard as the case may be.

"It's the baby," he admitted, sighing. "I just can't have sex knowing that we have a brother on the way. We shouldn't let it bother us, but it does bother me and I don't know what to do. I expected for it to be a little problematic, but not this much," he said, lying on the bed next to me. "

"I think we seriously underestimated how it would affect us," I replied, drawing circles into the palm of his hand with my fingers. "We can't exactly ignore his impending arrival, like we did before she was showing."

"But that shouldn't mean we stop having sex." Edward frowned and shook his head. "Do you feel differently about me now?"

I couldn't help but look at him in confusion. I really didn't like the sound of where the conversation was going.

"Differently?" I questioned, looking for clarification.

"Does our brother make this relationship seem dangerous and wrong?" he asked, looking straight at me.

"Our relationship has always been wrong, Edward." He rolled his eyes and squeezed my hand.

"Answer the question." I fidgeted under his gaze and bit my lip, shrugging.

"It's weird, I find it weird," I admitted, much to his displeasure. He dropped his head back onto the pillow and groaned, covering his eyes with his hands. "I'm just being honest, you asked!"

"I know, but I didn't think you'd actually say that!" he cried, rising to sit up.

"What, and you don't find it weird?"

"Of course I do, I just had hoped you didn't. We can't both find our relationship weird and then continue to have one."

"Whoa, what? I haven't said anything about ending this relationship. It's weird, but it's not the end. I love you, I'm not just going to throw that all away because we're going to have a brother soon. It'll just take some time for us to get back to normal."

"And you really think we're going to be able to do that?"

"And you don't?" I shot back, looking at him in complete disbelief. Where the hell had all this come from?

Edward couldn't take his eyes off the bedspread as he tried to get his thoughts together. He'd open his mouth to talk and shut it again, shaking his head. By the fourth time, it was grating on my nerves. He was the one who wanted to have this conversation, so why the fuck was he quiet all of a sudden?

"I…I can't wrap my head around the baby situation," he begun, running his hands through his hair. "I find it ridiculously creepy that we are both going to share the same brother. It's wrong. I knew that this was coming, but I didn't think it would bother me so much. Every time I think about us having sex all I can see is you pregnant, which is fucking scary. If you got knocked up, then our brother, would be an uncle or an aunt to his half-sister and half-brother's kid. That's fucked up. This whole situation is."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, defeated.

"Of all the times to gain a conscience, this was not the best," he said, sighing.

"Edward, please." I was tired of him beating around the bush. Clearly, he had thought this through, now he just had to share his thoughts with me.

"I need time. I think we should take a break or something, just not be together for a while. Maybe this was convenient, for both of us. I mean, we live across the hall, it was easy. We didn't have to look far for comfort, and we had common enemies, our parents. It was bound to happen, but now we have to be real."

"Be real? You want to be fucking real? Could you not have realised this when your mother was here? Or you know, before your father found out? Fucking hell, Edward. Do I mean nothing to you?"

He looked at me like he'd been slapped, but Christ, I didn't care. He was practically throwing our relationship out of the window.

"Of course you do! I love you, very much-"

"Really? Because it doesn't fucking sound like it!"

"Yes! I do! But we aren't the only ones involved anymore! We're going to have a little brother, he needs to take precedence over us. Our relationship could ruin things for my dad, and I don't want him growing up without one of his parents. Hell, we bitched at them when they spoke about getting pregnant because we didn't want them to fuck up this kid, and with us together, how could that not fuck him up? It's wrong. We're being selfish. "

"So really, you don't want to take a break, you want this to end?"

"I think it would be best."

"Right."

"I still want to be friends with you, Bella. I do love you, but he-"

"Yeah, I got it."

And I did get it, I just hated it. I knew one of us had to be mature, but really? The baby was months away from being born, and things were finally calming down. We had enjoyed weeks at peace, falling back into a routine, and then this happened. What Edward addicted to the controversy, fighting and drama? Did he need to have something to agonize over? Was I really just convenient?

Fighting back tears, I went straight back to my room, closing the door quietly. It would do no good to slam it shut, no matter how much I wanted to, when that would draw attention to the situation. The last thing I needed was Carlisle or Renee coming up to ask what was wrong. It's not like I could really be honest with the latter, and well, I don't think Carlisle would appreciate me calling his son a complete bastard for making sense.

At that moment, I was furious at my mother. She had dragged me around countless men, made me play the sweet doting step daughter, and didn't give a fuck what I wanted or how that had affected me. Now, I had found someone I was absolutely crazy about, and because of her fucking uterus and messed up mind, I couldn't have him. Why did she want to repeat history all over again? Was I not tortured enough, so now she felt compelled to have another kid and do the same?

Throwing clothes into a bag, I grabbed my keys, purse and phone, then got the fuck out of there. I couldn't stay. If I did, I'd lose it, and not because of Edward. He was doing the practical thing, and while it hurt so much, it made sense. However, my mother was enemy number one.

"You going somewhere?" I had just reached the top of the stairs when I heard his voice behind me. He sounded hurt and upset, just like I felt, but currently I was in rage mode.

"I need to get out of here before I kill someone," I confessed, turning to look at him. His hair was ruffled, no doubt due to the countless times he'd run his fingers through it, and he looked fragile. That's the only way I could describe it. I'd seen him hurt before, but he always had this resolve to him; it wasn't there anymore.

"Kill me?" I shook my head and shrugged.

"Renee." He nodded sombrely and licked his lips.

"I am sorry, you get that, right?" It was my turn to nod then, much to his relief. "You'll come back?"

Honestly, I hadn't thought about what I was going to do once I left the house. I knew I had to get out before I exploded, but I hadn't thought about where I'd go, how long I'd stay or anything else practical. It hadn't crossed my mind.

"Probably, yeah."

"Good." The silence between us was painful, and I wanted to just crawl back into his arms.

"I'm going to miss you," I confessed, biting my lip. I could afford one moment of honesty with him.

"I'm going to miss you, too," he replied, walking towards me. "I really am sorry." His voice held all the emotions I was trying to bottle, and it broke me. My tears couldn't be held back as I looked at him.

"I know, and I am, too." Edward dropped his head and took a deep breath, clenching his jaw. While I could cry openly, he was fighting it hard. "Will…Will you allow me one moment of weakness?" I asked, chewing my lip harder. His eyes drank me in, looking over everything.

"Yes," he whispered, moving closer. Our chests were touching, our eyes locked, and I didn't want to let the moment end. He was my boy, I didn't want to let him go, no matter what.

Glancing quickly to his lips, he knew what I was going to do. Thankfully, he didn't stop me when I pulled his head lower, allowing his lips to meet mine. An hour ago, we were kissing like it was nothing; now, we were kissing because it was everything. God, I loved him.

His hands travelled from my neck to my waist, trying to pull me closer, while I let my fingers loose in his hair. His lips were hard and demanding, meeting my own urgency. If this was our last kiss, I was going to make it count.

My tongue met his, calm and sensual, despite our desperate need. He moaned at the contact and moved me away from the stairs, my back meeting the wall. I couldn't help but grind against him as he nipped at my lips, drawing his teeth over them.

"We need to stop," he muttered, my lips capturing his once more. I didn't want the kiss to end, because once it did, there wouldn't be anymore. We would cease to be, and that would hurt beyond belief.

"I love you," he whispered, finally pulling away from me. "I'm sorry." His eyes conveyed his message better than his words ever could.

"I love you, too," I mumbled, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

Backing up, Edward rested against the opposite wall. His eyes continued to watch me as I grabbed the bag I'd dropped and went to make my escape down the stairs. Giving him one last fleeting look, I left. I was done.

Carlisle and Renee were nowhere to be seen when I arrived downstairs, so I wrote a note and left it in the kitchen. They'd see it at some point. Grabbing my coat, I hightailed it out to my truck, and then I drove.

It wasn't until I was out onto the main road that I realised I had nowhere to go. Rose would have been the obvious choice, but with everything she had going on lately, and with Tanya, I just couldn't go there. They were dealing with things much bigger than a break up.

Alice, no doubt, would have been my next option, but seeing as she'd turned out to be off her head and in Texas, that was a no go. The only other person was Emmett, and right about then, he was my best option. The guy was my rock, he wouldn't turn me away.

Finding Em's house in the dark was a little harder than I thought it would be, so I didn't get there until well past midnight. Rather than ring the doorbell and wake the whole house, I sent him a text from my truck, which I'd parked in his drive. Seconds later he replied, telling me he was on his way down to open the door. Like I said, he was my rock. I could always count on Emmett.

I got out my truck and walked quietly up to his front door. It wasn't long before the outside light went on and he'd opened the door to see me standing there.

"Hey! I didn't know you were coming over!" Emmett said, grinning brightly.

"Sorry, I didn't really know where else to go," I replied, chewing on my lip and giving him a sad smile. "Can I crash here for a few days?" He frowned and nodded vehemently, inviting me in.

"Of course you can! What's going on? Something happened?"

"Edward and I are just needing some space, and I had to get out of there. You sure it's okay?"

"Positive, one hundred per cent positive."

"Thanks, Em." His arms encased me in a hug, making me feel less guilty about stopping by.

"No problem." Leading me upstairs, Emmett took me to his room and made for me to sit down. I settled on his bed and watched as he began to clean up a little.

"You don't have to do that, Em. Really, I'm sorry, I'll go-"

"Nope, you won't, you're staying here," he said, commanding, but kind. "You came here for a reason, so I'm guessing things are up shit creek with Edward and that you can't go to Rose because of Tanya. I'm your man. We're friends, too, so you can definitely stay here."

"Your mom won't mind?"

"Hell no," he replied, waving his hand dismissively. "She'll be happy to see you again, actually."

I remember his mother from when Carlisle and Renee had everyone and their parents over for dinner. God that was an awful evening. Edward couldn't keep his hands to himself and made me come in front of them all. I could have killed him.

"So you want to talk about it?" Em asked, raising his eyebrows. He'd tidied up the rubbish on his desk and threw it all into the already overflowing bin in the corner, then taken a seat at his desk.

"Edward and I broke up," I said, nodding my head slowly. He looked at me in total disbelief and shook his head.

"No way."

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly, but we did."

"Why?"

"Our brother." I couldn't help the bitterness from seeping out in my tone. Realisation dawned on Emmett's face and he gave me a sad smile in return.

"I'm sorry, Bella. The situation's messed up, so maybe it's better things stopped for a while. Maybe just until your mom's given birth or something? That way you can sort things out?"

"Yeah, I'm not too sure what'll happen. I'm so upset," I said, shaking away my tears. "But I know he was doing it for the right reasons. It would be selfish of us to have a relationship when it'll screw up his life."

Em grabbed the box of tissues off the desk and rolled over on his chair to hand them to me. I took one and wiped my eyes softly, trying to hold some sort of composure together. I wasn't ready to break down yet.

"While that's true, you guys have got to remember that you're entitled to a life, too. Your mom made her decision, and so did Carlisle when he found out about the two of you. If you guys want to be together, this baby shouldn't stop you. Yes, it'll be confusing and a big old mess, but if it's what makes you happy, then why not?"

Another moment of Emmett's true wisdom, and I was honoured that he had shared his honest opinion with me.

"Give it time, Bella. Edward will come around." Giving me another hug, I buried into his shoulder, and allowed myself another few tears.

"Thanks, Em, really." He smiled and waved me off.

"Don't sweat it. Now, can I get you something to eat or drink? You want to have a bath or a shower? Can I entice you to watch a movie? Or would you like just to go to bed?" His soft grin was infectious, and it kept my sadness at bay.

"I think I'll just head to bed, if that's alright."

"Absolutely! Come on, I'll show you to your room." Emmett slid his chair back across the room and took my hand in his, leading me out into the hallway.

We entered the third door on the left, at the top of the hall. Along the way, he showed me where the bathroom was in case I needed, and then opened the spare bedroom door. While Emmett's room was jam-packed with furniture and possessions, the spare room was sparse. However, for what it lacked in wardrobes and bookcases, it made up for in homely touches. The room was elegantly decorated, and there was such a relaxing atmosphere to it. The bed even looked heavenly soft, practically calling me to it.

"You're welcome to stay here as long as you like. Make yourself at home."

I placed my bag down next to my feet and then attacked Emmett with a hug, practically jumping on him. He grunted in surprise but chuckled at my actions. "You better not be trying to thank me," he warned, smirking.

"Wouldn't dream of it," I replied, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Well, you know where I am, and if you need anything, feel free to go get it. Seriously, if it's four in the morning and you want something to eat, go get it. If you need help with anything for whatever reason, just come wake me."

"Thank-"

"Don't," he said, pressing a finger to my lips. "It's not needed. This is what friends do."

"I appreciate it anyway." Nodding, Em gave me a kiss on the cheek and bid me goodnight.

Turning back to the empty room, I closed the curtains and then starting throwing off my clothes. I just wanted to get some sleep, get some rest. There was too much going on in my head, and I needed the downtime.

Like I thought it would be, the bed was heavenly, and it provided the comfort I needed at that moment. My heart was heavy, and my head was sore; I needed sleep. Only a few tears escaped as I settled into the covers, and that was all I would allow.

If I cried, I was mourning the loss; so if I didn't cry, I hadn't lost him.

In my messed up brain, that made sense, and it was all I had as I settled into slumber.

I wasn't ready to lose him, I just wasn't. We were great together, and I didn't want to lose him. Though, thanks to my mother and her expanding uterus, I may already have.


End file.
